25 Years of Marriage

Thirty-four years ago, I met the love of my life, and we’ve been together ever since. Greg and I dated for nine years before we were married in Cape Town, South Africa, twenty-five years ago today. Marrying my soulmate was hands down the best decision I’ve made. I am extremely blessed to be sharing life’s fun and great adventure with my best friend.

When we met, I was seventeen and Greg was ten days shy of nineteen. We had an instant connection and lots of chemistry, and that continues to this day. Greg and I are quite different in some ways, and fundamentally the same in others. I’m loud, energetic, fiery, chatty, excitable, extroverted, impatient, decisive, and wear my heart on my sleeve. Greg is quiet, cerebral, a deep thinker, introverted, patient, understated, and extremely logical and level-headed. We are both opinionated, strong, passionate, creative, hard-working, laugh a lot, and besotted with our doggies. We share many of the same interests, have similar aesthetic and culinary tastes, and complement each other in a lasting and meaningful way.

But best of all, we grew up together and became the adults we are today with each other’s guidance, reassurance, and support. We learn from our mistakes, and give each other the time and space when we need it. The familiarity between us greatly enriches our relationship. Our mutual respect and admiration amplifies our affection for one another.

Our families and friends were awfully excited for us to tie the knot in 1996, and we were too. We had a short engagement, and were married as soon as we could secure the right venue. We said our vows in the oldest church in South Africa. It was in a suburb called Rondesbosch. Close to the University of Cape Town, where we both did our bachelor degrees. We had our reception at the Peninsula Hotel by the water on Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard. Including us, there were 99 people at our wedding. Except for the rain (and even that is supposedly a good omen) it was a perfect day.

I was a calm and organized bride, and Greg was a chill groom. I designed my own dress and had it made by an extremely skilled 82-year-old seamstress who didn’t use a pattern. She took my measurements, studied my sketches, and cut straight into the fabric. A couple of weeks later I had my first fitting in a tacked-together dress, and it was pretty close to what I had imagined. Classic, fluidly tailored, comfortable, sleeved, a long train with a low-slung back, and no veil. I added gold disco sandals with statement buckles on my feet, wore my Mum’s Mikimoto peal earrings, threw in a bit of a ‘60s hairstyle, and that was that.

Greg did a smashing job with his look, which I had little to do with. I remember suggesting that he wear nice shoes and asking him to surprise me! He did just that by choosing a Nehru collared shirt for under his tuxedo, and I loved it. His look was interesting, strong, and understated. Much like the man I was about to marry.

There are things that I don’t remember about our wedding day, but fun and important things that I do. I remember arriving early and waiting in the car for more of the guests to arrive before walking down the aisle. I remember seeing Greg at the altar, and being filled with an unprecedented amount of joy, peace and excitement. I don’t remember tasting our Mediterranean buffet, but I do remember that multiple guests said it was delicious. I remember the beautifully intimate setting of the reception, the view of the ocean, magic light, and exquisite flowers my Mum arranged. I remember leaving our reception early while our guests partied on. And I remember smiling so much that day that my cheekbones ached with exhaustion.

Here, I’m toasting to the groom after my speech. I was elated.

Toast

This is my favourite wedding photo of Greg, with his nieces, who were our flower girls. So handsome, kind, strong, smart, smiley, and gentle.

Flower Girls

This is our favourite wedding photo because it perfectly captures a fun and typical moment for us. Me pulling a face, and Greg cracking up. As the rose petals were scattered, I said to Greg, “Oh, no! I think the petals went down there!” Rose petals had indeed made it down the front of my dress, and I fished them out later.

Rose Petals

We planned a trip back to Hong Kong to celebrate our silver wedding anniversary, but that is on hold because of the global pandemic. In the meantime, we’ve taken today off and are celebrating in Seattle with our Yorkies Sam and Jo. Happy Anniversary to the life partner of my dreams, who I would marry all over again and in a very similar dress.

Ditsy Florals: Yay or Nay

A ditsy floral is a very small scale, scattered floral pattern. The tiny florals can be closely spaced or wide apart. The design of the flowers is typically quite abstract. Ditsy florals can be multi-coloured, or two-toned. They are usually printed onto woven fabrics but you’ll find knitted ditsies too. 

It wouldn’t be a ‘90s inspired season without a good dose of ditsy florals. Ditsies make their biggest statement in dresses, blouses, skirts, pants, and scarves. There are also ditsy floral jackets, coats, shoes, socks, hair accessories, jumpsuits, handbags and belts. Here are some examples.

Nordstrom
Madewell Bandana
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Nordstrom
Madewell Bandana
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Nordstrom
Madewell Bandana
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Boden
Tiered Maxi Dress
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Boden
Girlfriend Overalls
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Boden
Ellie Smocked Dress
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Boden
Tiered Maxi Dress
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Boden
Cotton Sateen Skirt
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Boden
Imogen Dress
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Some of my clients love ditsy florals, and some won’t wear them at all. For some it’s their favourite type of floral, while others find them too twee. Some will wear them on a black background, or with black stompy boots to create a tough edge. Others wear them in the Summer, or on vacation because of their soft and charming integrity. Some will wear them in a two-toned top but nothing else. Some prefer ditsy floral skirts and dresses.

I haven’t had a ditsy floral in my wardrobe for a while, but wore ditsy tops, skirts, pants and dresses in the ‘90s. It was hard not to when you lived in a hot climate and they were EVERYWHERE. They aren’t my favourite type of floral, but I would wear them again if I liked the pattern and colour combination. I prefer wearing ditsy florals in the Summer in soft and silky lightweight fabrics, and probably as a blouse more than a dress, skirt, or pants. In summary, I’m not big on them, but I am a ditsy floral yay.

Over to you.

Black Footwear and Your Style

Black footwear is fashionable and on-trend every season, across all sorts of vibes and styles. It is a classic, pragmatic, and traditional choice. I can’t imagine a fashion and style world in which black footwear does not feature strongly in some way, especially for Autumn and Winter. If you factor in that uniforms and formal attire usually default to black shoes, Team Black Footwear is the biggest team of all.

Zara
TREADED SOLE LOAFERS
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Shopbop
ASTR Kandi Boots
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Nordstrom
Munro Lexi Boot
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Zara
FLAT STRAPPY SANDALS
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I see a lot of black footwear on the streets of Seattle. Black boots, sandals, Birkenstocks and sneakers with white soles are especially popular. Many of my clients have an assortment of black footwear, with some wearing it almost exclusively.

Clients who frequently wear black footwear tend to wear black clothing or patterns with black in them. Black is usually their favourite dark neutral, and black footwear is a wardrobe essential. Combining a black-based wardrobe with black shoes is an easy cohesive match. Black, and salt-and-pepper-haired clients enjoy bookending their outfits with black footwear. And black footwear can add that tough, hard edge that some like to incorporate into their styles.

Black footwear has never featured strongly in my style, though back in the ‘90s it was impossible to not to have a few pairs of black footwear. They were everything back then, especially when you worked in the rag trade like I did. I mixed things up by having red, white and metallic footwear in the mix too.

The only pair of solid black shoes I’ve had over the last fifteen years was a pair of classic tall riding boots, which I passed on three years ago. It made sense to have black footwear when I wore solid black clothing, but over the last ten years I have switched from black to dark blue clothing items. Now I don’t have a single solid black item in my wardrobe, including footwear, and I’m keeping it that way.

I wear white, cream, blush, red, bright pink, gold and yellow footwear most of the time because that works best with the palettes of my wardrobe, and the bookended outfits I like to create. But I like to wear dark footwear from time to time too. I have an old pair of tall navy boots that I wear with skirts and dresses in cold weather, and a pair of burgundy fleece-lined hi-tops for cold beach walks with the doggies. I also recently got a burgundy pair of boots that I am loving. Navy and burgundy boots are my “black” boots.

Does black footwear feature in your style?

Roundups

Simpler Items

This week's list of top picks list is about basic pieces.

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Assorted Items

Items for Summer, both in and out of air conditioning.

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Casual Summer Vibes

This week's top picks are good for a casual Summer vibe.

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Summery Earth Tones

These items are for those who like to wear casual earth tones in warm and hot weather.

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Hints of Spring

Some tried-and-tested winning items to refresh your style for Spring.

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Dressier Items

An assortment of dressier top picks might be just what the doctor ordered.

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Outfit Formula: Sweater and Sock Match

Yesterday’s theme of matching socks and sweaters continues today with four more ways do it. The more refined, sheer, and slippery the socks, the dressier the combination will look. Chunky socks tend to look more casual. 

The palettes here are quite neutral, but by all means throw in some colour.

1. Dainty Cream

The cream, dainty and gauzy socks perfectly match the refined and dressier cream sweater. They sandwich a pair of leather pants in an earthy brown, but you can choose just about any other colour. The socks work well with loafers, but you can sub them for boots. I like that the cream loafers are the same colour as the socks so that they look like pseudo boots. A higher contrast shoe can work too. It simply depends on your preference. The cropped length of the bottoms is important if you want to showcase the socks.

Faux Leather Wide-Leg Pants

2. Playfully Patterned

Here the patterned socks are an exact match with the sweater. The black in their pattern is repeated in the black velvet pants and boots. The high shaft of the boots and pant length covers most of the socks. You can see the match when you sit down, stride, and bike. If you’re after a more subtle way to wear a playful sweater and sock match, this is one way to go.

Fauna Velour Pants

3. Black Patterns and Texture

This is the easiest of the three looks to create because sheer black textured and patterned socks are in abundance, and most people have black in their wardrobes. Combine a black sweater with sheer black patterned or textured socks and black loafers or boots, and you’re almost there. Combine that complement with a pair of bottoms that tickle your fancy in a solid or pattern. Make sure the pattern has some black in it to pull together the look. Sub the sweater for a black sweatshirt or blouse if that’s more your thing.

Pilcro Boat Neck Tunic Pullover

4. Earthy

And last, you can sport socks in clogs or sandals too. Make sure the combination is comfortable and the socks aren’t too thick for the shoes. By keeping the colour of the socks and sandals the same, you once again create a pseudo boot effect. Here the socks match a sweater poncho that is worn over a dress, which could work well in very mild Winter weather. Add jewellery, watch, eyewear and headgear as desired.

Anthropologie Ribbed Knit Poncho

Link Love: The Hair Edition

The Guardian’s Sali Hughes is impressed with Shrine, a new eco hair dye.

If you’re interested in all things hair, the second season of Allure’s ‘The Science of Beauty’ podcast — with topics like hair thinning, and busting myths about silicones — is worth a listen.

With hairdressers closed for most of the pandemic, more women stopped dyeing their hair. Earlier this year, The Guardian asked some of them about the impact it’s had.

Fab Links from Our Members

RoseandJoan found the idea of this leather alternative fascinating, especially, how it can be grown to the spec for less waste, and apparently feels luxurious.

L’Abeille directs us to this article about how luxury brand Chanel is being roasted online for their $1,025 Advent calendar.

Runcarla thought this was a good review on laundering options, or even non-laundering care. She adds: “Last year I learned (via my wear counting exercise) the toll laundering takes on clothes. I’ve made a concerted effort to be gentler with my garments, in particular hanging much more on the lines strung across my laundry room.”

Shevia has long admired Robin Givhan’s interpretation of the power and cultural/symbolic significance of fashion. She likes her take on the Elizabeth Holmes trial.

Suntiger reports that Pantone has revealed its colour of the year for 2022.

She also enjoyed Bridgette Raes’ blog post on wardrobe building.