A Pat on the Back

skylurker

Getting rid of a hang up : that I must be stupid to waste time and money on fashion. Good riddance, hang up.

May 30, 2016 at 4:07 am

Debbie

Taking a stand with my summer body. I have been sleeveless several times lately and will continue to embrace it. Yesterday I even showed my legs and my arms at the same time!

May 30, 2016 at 4:10 am

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Angie, what a fantastic idea to celebrate our successes. And yours are both instructive and inspiring. You have never looked lovelier; perhaps your increased self-acceptance plays a role.

My own successes:

1. A well curated closet. When I joined YLF over five years ago, I never believed I’d get here, and yes, it did take time as well as money. But today I the proud guardian of a highly functional wardrobe that I add to and subtract from every season in order to meet my needs and refresh my style. It is such a joy to know that I can dress myself for pretty much any occasion that might come up, and to feel that the clothes I wear express my personal style! (Thank you for your ongoing guidance and support in helping me achieve this.)

2. I like to shop! For years, I loathed and dreaded shopping and there was a time when I thought I might never enjoy it. I still don’t get many opportunities for bricks and mortar shopping, but when I do, I have a lot of fun, and I’ve also become a highly efficient online shopper. Plus, shopping. I don’t obsess about it. It’s not a worry but a pleasure and I do it only when I need to refresh and update. When I don’t, I concentrate on my other passions so my life is more rounded and full.

3. Embracing my grey. This is my newest challenge and success. I am proud of taking this plunge. It is all about self-acceptance. It was scary to lop off the blonde I’d known for most of my life, and go to an ultra-short pixie, but I feel it’s an expression of who I really am today, more harmonious with my overall colouring, and what’s more, my new grey crop is going to take me on a whole new style journey! It feels exciting and I can’t wait to see how my style develops in the next few months!

May 30, 2016 at 4:14 am

April

Veteran

I think this is the year that I truly started acting on the idea that THE SIZE ON THE LABEL DOES NOT MATTER. Not out of any philosophical “I love my body no matter what size it becomes” attitude that I’ve embraced (this is an attitude I admire and hope to cultivate, incidentally, I’m just saying my body size hasn’t actually changed), but out of realization that the sizes have no consistency from brand to brand or sometimes even from item to item within brand. I’ve known this in theory for a long time but sometimes those numbers or letters would still bug me.

No longer. I have everything in my closet from an XXS to a Large, my body is more or less the same, and they all fit fine.

Not my problem if the industry has gone mad with variation. If it fits, what do I care what the label says?

May 30, 2016 at 4:33 am

Vildy

Veteran

I guess it’s been a year of big changes. I finally colored my hair. I’ve had hairstylists exclaim, “You *don’t* color your hair? It’s just like that naturally?” Everybody thought I colored it – a kind of melange of taupe, blonde. But too subdued and draining for me. I let the colorist suggest and when she immediately said, “Red,” I was shocked. Only later did I realize that the red had been gone from my hair for so long that I had forgotten I was a natural redhead! And I was unconsciously often buying clothes for a redhead and puzzling over why they didn’t work somehow.

Realized I was a well rehearsed introvert, not the extrovert I thought I was. The major fear of mos people is public speaking and I used to do it all the time but 1) I was well prepared and 2) you don’t really need to relate to people and can even answer audience or debate questions by steering things your way with, again, well-prepared answers. This led to a realization that I really valued privacy. It’s one reason I quit being an activist/minor politician. But I hadn’t seen it the step further of being reflected in my wardrobe. It seemed irreconcilable to both enjoy clothing and want to avoid conversations/remarks about my clothing.

Therefore, finally figured out that the advice to wear more structured clothing – e.g. pencil skirts, sheaths – to avoid giving the impression that all that fabric is you – and therefore you might be larger – was all wrong for me. I’m a person who truly doesn’t have any body image issues and I always mentally rejected the idea that looking better meant looking taller, thinner, younger. So I’ve started wearing full skirts, even though I’m not supposed to with my figure 8 structure. And I’ve begun ditching my pencil skirts and sheaths. I also realized that this fits with my actual preferences to collect coats – covered up, private – and thin tent like dresses in summer. I can want to look pretty but without revealing specific physicality. I used to like wearing oversize clothing and then cinching it in sometimes, when I was young and more slender. Don’t know why it took me so long to realize I can do the same thing now.

Liking coats and dresses so much, I also realized I naturally prefer a column of color look. Even if that might sometimes be pattern mixing, I tend to mix them so as to be the same value or look like a dress if I added a belt. I like pantsuits though I don’t own many and haven’t been wearing the ones I have.

Preferring the column of color look, got to thinking about blazers/little jackets. I have a weakness for them and own way too many. Rarely wear them, either. Finally figured out that I tend to picture myself wearing them as outerwear, weather permitting. And sometimes I do but generally the temperature rarely seems quite right for this. Still working through this latest realization.

May 30, 2016 at 4:49 am

Staysfit

Veteran

Going grey with pride is probably the very best thing I did. My family loves it. I feel like a rebel in my family because all the other senior women either currently color or have continued to color until they die. I am setting an example for my daughter and my four neices who see they have a different beautiful choice.

Identifying a new style moniker, Serene Elegance, has opened my eyes, and allowed me to truly refine my style. I am feeling great about what I wear pretty much every day as long as I ask myself if it looks Serenely Elegant.

I congratulate myself on sticking to the one in one out method in my closet and learned that the Kon Mari process works! The corollary to that is I am only making purchases of items I truly love and plan to use. Everything is staying organized and tidy.

Embracing my summer body – varicose veins from big babies here. I’m wearing shorts and knee length skirts anyway. I also plan to wear a bikini when I swim.

May 30, 2016 at 4:58 am

Vildy

Veteran

Oh, I forgot a big one: deliberately adding more color to my outfits. I had read Imogen Lamport’s material on 2 kinds of contrast level – one is the usual light and dark but the other is about color contrast you naturally have in your appearance. I’m supposed to add more color to harmonize with my natural level of color contrast. Really? Well, I tried it and it’s terrific for me. My friend recently observed while we were shopping that I “loved neutrals.” Well, yeah, probably on other people because I’m continually purging that oversupply of neutrals and concentrating on acquiring some actual colored clothing.

May 30, 2016 at 5:01 am

MTBGirl

Veteran

I have become a better shopper and in my time at YLF have overhauled my wardrobe (including shoes and accessories) – I’ve learned that even if I love something, if it’s not right for me i don’t have to have it. I can enjoy it on others. When I shop I feel more confident and in control. I still struggle with the capsule concept but feel confident that with more time I will get there. I am stilling working out my style moniker and know that will help get me sorted.
I am going grey with pride and taking a stand with my summer body.
I am making the effort to post WIWs again for three reasons. 1) I appreciate the collective wisdom in the feedback to help me dress better. 2) I find it therapeutic doing the write up. 3) I really enjoy other peoples WIWs and hope others enjoy mine.
My patting on the back is small but there would be none at all if it weren’t for YLF! So thank you!

May 30, 2016 at 5:01 am

Aquamarine

Veteran

I am learning to ruthlessly cull my wardrobe and stop hanging on to items that no longer work for me, even if I’ve only worn them a handful of times. It’s OK to pass on items and give them a new home. It’s not “money wasted” if I have learned something from the purchase, because going forward I am becoming a more discerning shopper. Guilt (across all facets of my life–good Catholic girl that I am) is immobilizing.

May 30, 2016 at 5:18 am

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Angie, what a brilliant idea! Congratulations!

This year, I’ve made a lot of progress in regards to fashion & style.

1) Embracing my natural wavy hair with a hairstyle that matches my personality & lifestyle.

2) Learning to dress for my real lifestyle by wearing casual outfits that make me feel good.

3) Experimenting with Athleisure – a trend that fits well with my lifestyle. Bonus – my husband LOVES a sporty look.

4) Taking a stand for my summer body by happily wearing shorter skirts, shorts & dresses.

5) Tracking wears and understanding what kind of clothes I turn to over & over. I’m wearing a much larger part of my wardrobe for my everyday life.

I have only YLF to thank for ALL of these!

May 30, 2016 at 5:26 am

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Thank you Angie for this post your insight into your self discovery is very helpful and encouraging.

Thank you Fam for sharing. I find myself nodding agreement.

For myself it is walking in my gifts and skill set. I believe that the universe has be pushing me to do things I’ve never dreamed of befor.

Being more fearless in my fashion choices
Walking in my gifts and skills
Being able to be more generous and open to life and fashion journeys
Acknowledging that we all have shine and acknowledgement of that does not decrease my shine nor take away from yours.

We can all stand in the sun together. Even though I’m a Star Wars Darkside fan. The Lightside seems pretty good.

May 30, 2016 at 5:32 am

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Smiling at Donna’s comments….

And enjoying everyone’s insights. Vildy, with my new grey I have been making the opposite discovery about levels of colour contrast — I have to scale back on my former levels! But will still love and wear lots of colour — just with neutrals. More on that in the forum when I get a camera again!

May 30, 2016 at 5:42 am

Bonnie

Veteran

I’ve just passed my one year anniversary with YFL. This first year has been a year of big changes.
1) I’ve discovered the importance of essentials. I’ve added some to my wardrobe of wild cards.
2) I’ve chosen and stuck to a color palette.
3) Photographing myself in my outfits has really helped me see what works.
4) Paying attention to proportions and returning things when they don’t work.
5) Shoe styles are important and must work with the pant lengths.
6) Make-up – I only wear lipstick and eyebrow pencil but now I wear them everyday and have worked with colors and techniques.
Thanks, Angie and forum members, for guiding and encouraging me.

May 30, 2016 at 5:50 am

Mochi

Veteran

Foremost, I got over some major anxiety over spending money. I needed to build a wardrobe from scratch and there was no way around it. Now I have a still incomplete but functioning wardrobe, for my lifestyle, that gives me a lot of pleasure. There are many days when I really am happy with what I’m wearing. I’ve told myself that these purchases I’m making now are not gifts to myself or indulgences or fun things. I let myself know that they’re necessary items, and I can buy them for as long as I need to.

I’m also proud that I have a much greater understanding of my style, and it saves me a lot of time in investigating what I’d like to buy. I enjoy the very different styles other fabbers wear with such aplomb, and I know when I really want to make it work for myself, and when it’s not for me.

I’ve become much better at shopping, both online and in B&M stores. I used to not be able to spend more than 30 minutes in a store without feeling claustrophobic. I’m Including shopping for my husband or my daughter. It was that bad. Now I know I can be successful (which includes not finding anything, but just looking at what’s out there).

I’ve gotten more serious about taking care of my hair, and I’m open to more makeup, just enough.

Although I’m an emotional shopper, I still think what I’ve bought this year has been smart and necessary. I know which colors I’m trying to stick to, and I’m making myself buy more essentials (which are not as fun to buy, right?).

All in all, I am working toward a cohesive wardrobe, which is critical to me. With one separate capsule for dance wear.

I’m carefully starting to buy more shoes, after realizing how much weight they have in building outfits.

I’m holding off on bags for now, but think I’ll eventually cave, and start collecting a few.

May 30, 2016 at 5:52 am

BrieN

Veteran

Biggest change for me was to realize that “effortless” dressing isn’t and that I wanted to spend time and $ and lots of thought on dressing myself. That dressing matters, not in some societal way necessarily, but in how I feel as I put on something that I chose for myself, and how I feel during the day as I wear it.

Specific changes:

I no longer treat my closet as a drive-through. It’s a place to relax a bit, organize a bit, try new things, think about needs and wants, and to plan.

I am spending $ on athletic wear and lounge wear is soon to come.

I identified a hole in my closet and have started to fill it, carefully.

May 30, 2016 at 6:05 am

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

What a brilliant post Angie and I loved your personal insights. Giving YOU a pat on the back pretty lady!

As for me, I am:

1. Dressing for the body I have now. No more beating up or hiding.
2. Having fun with fashion. I forgot this for a while and everything got way too serious for me. I’m back to just enjoying getting dressed.
3. Although this may seem counter-intuitive, I’m shopping with my emotions again and loving it!

May 30, 2016 at 6:10 am

marianna

Veteran

So far this year… I got over my hang up with white denim! I’ve owned a pair of white jeans for a few years but they’ve been rarely worn. I put them on last week and something just clicked. I felt so good wearing them. They felt so fresh for my style. And they were NOT see-through (one of my fears). I ordered some KUT white Bermuda shorts from the Nordstrom half yearly sale and I hope those work!

Also, when I was shopping with you last month you mentioned that I look good in sleeveless tops. That really clicked for me. I’m going to embrace my arms this summer because I love sleeveless looks! Thank you.

May 30, 2016 at 6:19 am

always trying

Veteran

My biggest thing this year, thanks to Angie, I have shopped early for hot weather. I have some items I haven’t worn yet as we are having a cool spring, but am happy to have them waiting. This year when it gets hot I will not be hunting around for and grabbing the last of summer leftovers from the mark down racks. I will have hotter weather items that fit, were well chosen, and make me happy!

Another big thing is I am getting more wear out of my semi closet orphans as I have been learning to style them better!

May 30, 2016 at 6:40 am

Helena

Veteran

Thanks for this post Angie – I really enjoy these occasional reminders to re-orient in terms of our own personal goals.

For me, I’ll give myself a pat on the back for trying a couple of trendier/different pieces that I would not normally try (e.g. the faux-leather vest I bought in early January and the embroidered top I am waiting on from BR) rather that resorting to my basics all the time, and for nailing down my five descriptors and (mostly) sticking to them (casual, polished, classic, contrast, Kate).

I will give myself a kick in the butt for continuing to worry too much about other people’s lists and recos, and being an impatient shopper who settles for sub-par items. However, I will give the forum a pat on the back for calling me on this the other day – and thus I think a future pat on the back for me might be in the cards with YLFs ongoing help!

May 30, 2016 at 6:49 am

smittie

Love hearing all your insights, especially Vildy’s!
This year, I finally have enough style confidence to take on the Preppy Princess Extreme Edition style moniker. This style is not common in my circles, so I stand out. I always felt really uncomfortable standing out, and mistook this feeling for discomfort with the preppy style in general. But I’m getting over it.
Standing out is a good thing!

May 30, 2016 at 7:18 am

Peri

Veteran

Dressing the body I have now, definitely, and enjoying the tops and accessories that I can still go wild on.

May 30, 2016 at 7:24 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

YES. I love hearing how positive and proactive you are. Keep it coming.

Skylurker, good riddance indeed. Fab to have you back onboard.

Debbie, you are soooo right to celebrate your Summer body. Enjoy it.

Suz, it’s that unique calm and confidence that comes with age. Your achievements are commendable and so is your ongoing brilliant attitude about life. You look smashing with grey hair. Rock on.

Vildy, at what age were you a natural redhead? You know I’m a big fan of non-neutrals. Splendid job!

Staysfit, I like your new grey hair and style moniker too. Good job keeping the closet in tip top shape.

Donna, Bonnie, Mochi and Maneera, you’ve achieved a great deal and I’m celebrating with you. WOW. Stand proud. Thanks for the kind words.

Aquamarine, learning from our shopping mistakes is an extremely important lesson.

Ledonna, you’re dead right. We can all stand in the sun together. Feel its warmth, shine – and help others shine too.

April, YES. Style is not a size. Achieving good fit at any size is a better style goal.

HAH, BrieN. Thank goodness your closet is more than a drive-through! Well done.

Thanks, Shannon. Happy to hear that you’re having fun with fashion again. It shows.

Marianna, YAY. Go Team White Jeans. And you DO look great in sleeveless tops. Wear the heck out of them.

Good job, always trying. I’m a big fan of shopping early in the season too.

Torontogirl, adding “Kate” as a style descriptor was a defining moment. You are doing great.

Smittie, standing out so that you feel an inner peace is a very good thing.

Good for you, Peri. I like how you embrace make-up too.

May 30, 2016 at 7:30 am

Chris987

Veteran

What a terrific topic Angie!!! Thanks! LOTS of changes for me this year, and they have all been within the last 3 months since I joined YLF. They are all fashion-related but have spilled over into the rest of my life.

1) Started a wardrobe overhaul after retiring from a lifetime career in high tech. My corporate wardrobe doesn’t work in my new life and my casual wardrobe had always been poorly-defined and random with a lot of orphans. Overall I had very few things either stylish or modern.
2) I now shop with very specific goals, or am consciously aware if I’m just trolling or feeling the need for retail therapy. I am a visual person but I’m even more verbal, and have realized that I need to be as specific as possible. The difference between “look for tops” and “look for tops in my darker neutrals, solids only, 3/4 or long sleeves, with a flowy silhouette, hemline around the hip, and stretch fabric” is ENOURMOUS to me.
3) I now sometimes shop specifically to try things that do not jump out at me. I treat it as an ongoing research project where I keep track of the results, and it has really worked to get me to expand my style interests. I literally stand in front of something that drew me in with one voice saying “nah” and another voice saying “give it a try”. I then put it on, take pics, and assess carefully whether any of the elements of the garment work for me. (This appeals to some of what led me into a career in high tech – data gathering and analysis.)
4) I have made a real change in how I view my body. It’s a huge shift after probably an entire lifetime of negative thinking. Trying on new styles has helped enormously with this, as well as seeing all the other YLF-ers outfits/body types and participating in forum discussions on this topic. .
5) I have seriously tempered my poison eye. I still look at what everyone around me is wearing all the time, but when I’m analyzing the outfit of a stranger or a friend, I now seem to always assume the best of the person even if I don’t like the outfit. Not sure how this happened but I really like it.
6) I took some risks in joining YLF. I tend to stay away from posting stuff on social media, to preserve my privacy, and because it just doesn’t appeal to me. I was really nervous the first few times I posted on YLF…worried I’d look foolish or something. Now I feel that I have found a wonderful personal stylist and a bunch of fabulous new friends, and a wonderful community to be a part of. Again, I was just looking at the wrong social media outlets! Plus YLF really is special.
7) Except for a few awkward attempts in the past 2 years, I am now wearing skinny jeans for the first time, as well as cropped pants. Turns out the problem was how I was viewing my body, and having the wrong size and/or length, not the styles themselves.
8) I photograph items and outfits now, even if I don’t post them all on YLF. It continually amazes me how some positive or negative detail can jump out in a photo yet be invisible in the mirror.
9) I have learned to think in terms of style monikers, although I haven’t fully identified my new one(s). In the past I was either Classic Traditional Menswear and LLBean-ish Outdoorsy. It’s no wonder to me now that I always struggled with the in-between
10) Identified my color palette…turns out I did have one and it works well.
11) Learned what Mochi expressed so well……”There are many days when I really am happy with what I’m wearing. I’ve told myself that these purchases I’m making now are not gifts to myself or indulgences or fun things. I let myself know that they’re necessary items…”

May 30, 2016 at 7:35 am

Linder51

My DH and I are moving to Arizona, he is a Air Force pilot and we are being transferred to Luke Airforce base in Phoenix. So I pat myself on the back for embracing change.

May 30, 2016 at 7:45 am

Classically Casual

Veteran

These reflective posts are fun & instructive for me. I have taken a stand with my summer body, while at the same time trying to be more diligent with sun protection than in the past. My purchasing has slowed down, is primarily online and feels more relaxed and intuitive. I find myself mainly in neutrals and blue , especially for spring/summer.
My lifestyle is even more casual than before as I’m spending about half my time in a small town, and outdoors a lot. Dressing for the life I lead is getting easier fortunately. Correct gear at the gym can make a difference in both my comfort & performance, so I’ve intentionally upgraded the gym capsule. By far my favorite purchase this season are these sneakers: the Cole Haan Zerogrand perf. trainers. They’re lightweight, insanely comfortable and somewhat dressy. They’re my go to shoe right now. (Sorry, couldn’t add a find here.)

May 30, 2016 at 7:48 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

WOW, Chris. You get the biggest pat on the back of all. I am very impressed and proud of you. WELL DONE!!!

Linder51, you might need a new AZ wardrobe.

Peggy, sun protection is essential. Good job.

May 30, 2016 at 7:53 am

amiable

Veteran

I terrific post!

I’m celebrating stepping out with my (thicker) summer body, and dressing for the body I have now (while loving it and caring for it and not being angry that it’s not as thin as I wish). I’m also celebrating getting out of my comfort zone with new short hair and EF harem pants (worn out in public yesterday!) I’m being patient working through a style shift (to a bit smarter of a casual), and being patiently picky waiting to find the right summer sandals.

Thanks for the reminder to do this – I needed this after making two un-returnable mistakes at goodwill this week. I’m happy with where my style is (slowly) going, and looking forward to continuing to grow and learn!

May 30, 2016 at 7:53 am

lava

Active Member

Thanks to all I’ve absorbed from YLF, I can now go out shopping, try on armloads of outfits, come home with nothing … and still feel like I’ve had a productive day.

Not perfect yet, but I’m doing way more sussing out of styles, colors, fabrics, and proportions and way less buying for the sake of buying (especially if it’s on sale!).

Sometimes it’s the learning, not the purchasing, that makes for shopping success.

May 30, 2016 at 8:41 am

Tanya

Veteran

What a wonderful idea for a post, Angie! Here are my achievements:

1. While I still have a large wardrobe, I have edited it down a lot. I have gotten rid of many items that were in great condition and I still liked because I have others I liked more. While I had enjoyed oversized and very fluid fits that were the main fit a couple of years ago, I have come to realize that I always feel more like my authentic self in more tailored fits and wearing prettier items. Example: out of 4 pairs of premium BF jeans, 3 are gone, I have only kept one, that is the slimmest in cut. I have also gotten rid on decent number of items that were getting worn rarely because I had a lot in that particular category.

2. I am wearing the heck out of my remaining items.

3. I am having lots of fun making capsules out of my existing items, especially around various non-jeans bottoms as base for my bushiness casual internship this summer.

4. I have cautiously started taking stand with my summer body too. My hangups usually have to do with my upper legs, so I normally do not like to wear anything shorter than right above the knee. On Saturday I went to a picnic in a park and wore mid-thigh length baggy shorts and the Earth did not stop spinning.

May 30, 2016 at 9:09 am

Chris987

Veteran

Thanks Angie for the kind words. I absolutely could not done any of this without you and YLF. May sound like a cliche but it’s really true.

May 30, 2016 at 9:42 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Of course, Chris. The pleasure was all mine.

Tanya, HAH. Earth did not stand still, and you have never looked better. Your wardrobe is in the very best shape too. WOOOHOOO.

Good job, amiable and lava.

May 30, 2016 at 9:59 am

rachylou

Veteran

It is a great to see everyone’s achievements. To see what wardrobe success means.

At first, I was thinking I haven’t done anything this year. That I was still waiting for it to start, for my next theme to hit me…and then it occurred to me… You know what? I think I can declare, finally, my big purge is over. How long have I been in YLF? That’s how long it’s taken. I don’t have stacks and stacks of bins in my mother’s basement. Everything is in a closet and not hard to get to. Yes, I do still have bins and do a seasonal switch out, but I’m actually doing it. And yes, I still have quite a lot of clothes, but the fat is gone. When next I purge, it will be because things have come to the end of their life, not because they’re dead weight. And maybe just maybe I don’t have a new theme yet, because I’m pretty prepared and am just waiting to wear what I have (!!)

May 30, 2016 at 10:05 am

merwoman

Veteran

Oh great post!

My celebrations:
1.Embracing my fem side: manifested by dress and earring wearing! Love it
2. Coming to grips with our short (and sometimes non-existant) spring summer season. Manifested by ceasing to shop for s/s items when I already have enough for the season. Yes – there’s the fear of missing out – but I have more than enough pretty things in my closet that need to see the light of day.
3. Growing out my hair somewhat..not in a celebration phase yet…more a curse at the moment. DD requested slight modification to my spikey do for the wedding and I’m trying to acquiesce…

May 30, 2016 at 10:11 am

Adelfa

Veteran

Hard to put into words but happy to try.

Continuing to explore softer and warmer colors. I’ve bought a lot more prints and they are also softer, less crisp and graphic.

Giving in to my ’70s boho streak in bags and footwear–was tickled to learn your client does the same.

Upping my cute/pretty quotient in my weekend, dogwalking wear.

“Pretty” is a psychologically difficult word for me, but it’s been an important guide for change.

May 30, 2016 at 10:58 am

Robin

Active Member

This year I discovered that I don’t have to wear boring shoes. My shoe rack is now almost full of different brands, different styles, different colours – all meeting my need for stability and foot support. I even packed three pairs of shoes for a vacation – because I wanted to.

May 30, 2016 at 11:06 am

Xtabay

No major wardrobe updates, but I notice I’m a lot more analytical and thoughtful about what I buy. Hearing others talk about their wardrobe whys and wherefores is so enlightening, and helps me with my shopping decisions and planning.

Angie’s number one tip for me this year: Tightlining! I’m loving the heck out of that. Every time I do it it’s a wow moment. So, thanks, Angie!

May 30, 2016 at 11:11 am

Penny

Veteran

Love this topic! This year, I’m feeling very happy with my curated wardrobe, in which I’ve pared down my clothing, shoes, handbags, jewelry, and other accessories, to the items I love and wear. Now that I’m pregnant, it will be mostly status quo, plus the addition of a handful of versatile, neutral maternity dresses for work and weekends for the foreseeable future! Also, I’ve enjoyed tracking my purchases and items in my closet because it makes me appreciate my wardrobe and make careful, considered adjustments over time.

May 30, 2016 at 11:13 am

Vildy

Veteran

Angie, not sure about when I was last a redhead. I had a hairdresser once who said his wife lost half the red in her hair with the first baby and the other half with the second. I had one baby at 39 and a few years later my husband and I were walking with our toddler in the park and someone jokingly wondered where he got his red hair from. Did we say, “From us!”? And then we realized we no longer had red hair and my husband is five years younger than me. I only had the strawberry blond kind of mid red but I hear hubby was flaming red, as is our son.
I’m now almost 68 so it’s been quite a while and people have been referring to me as a blond for a good many decades.

May 30, 2016 at 11:42 am

Sterling

This is such a wonderful post. There have been so many things I learned from YouLookFab and the Forum. I could write a tiny novel.

Most importantly, I learned about capsules. Capsules literally changed my life. For the first time in my life, I have a workable wardrobe that meets my every need. I cannot emphasize how much time/money/frustration/angst this concept has saved me.

I finally embraced the climate I live in (not my imaginary Colorado ski chalet where I sip champagne in front of a fire). Special shout out to Carter for her guidance in learning to accept that fact that I live in a hot, humid climate. Accept it. Learn to dress for it. You can dress stylishly in the South.

Another shout out to El Cee and Joy and Barbara Diane for their help in learning to either wear my orphans or finally get rid of them. I learned so much about myself and my style by participating in the “orphan challenge.” In fact, I am going to go back to re-read those epiphany posts today.

In the last couple of weeks, I learned that the weakest part of my wardrobe is my shoes. So I have a new focus/new capsule going forward in 2016/2017.

Thank you to every single person that helped me in my style quest.

May 30, 2016 at 12:20 pm

Style Fan

Veteran

This has been great to read. I have tried very hard to make shopping lists and buy clothing that I need for my real life. But every now and then I run out and buy something I love. It all works out just fine. After being on YLF for 2 1/2 years I have learnt how to shop for wildcards. I can shop for fun and still buy something for my real life.

May 30, 2016 at 12:23 pm

stripeyharriet

Active Member

I had three important style epiphanies this year, helped by YLF and other internet style blogs.

Firstly I discovered a really flattering outfit for me is the A-line dress or full skirt with tucked tee.

Secondly I realised the things I’m attracted to while shopping (bright colours, “team pretty” things, patterns) are not the things I feel happiest wearing (darks, neutrals, solids, simple modern things).

Thirdly I tried some baggy, tapered, cropped trousers and they look so modern and edgy that I don’t mind that they’re not as flattering as the A-line skirts and dresses. They’re cool. I’ll definitely be trying some more “flattering enough” trends and trying to incorporate more edginess into my style.

May 30, 2016 at 12:36 pm

Chris987

Veteran

Wow what a cool topic, I am loving every bit of it. Lots of inspiration for future goals and discussions.

May 30, 2016 at 1:46 pm

Barbara Diane

Veteran

lava, thanks for the insight about shopping and not buying being productive. I’m going to try that attitude on for size. I hate spending a lot of time and not finding anything.

Sterling, thanks for the shout out. The wear your orphans challenge helped me to. Thanks also to El Cee and Joy and if I’m missing anyone, apologies.

Perhaps the biggest change has been to add a little pretty, wear my dresses, etc. As I said to someone, throw my DH a bone. And I feel special in them.

I went and bought 2 new bras instead of waiting for the weight to leave again. Dressing the body I’m in, and a lot of bang for the buck.

Stopping feeling guilty that I keep things even if I haven’t found the right pieces to go with them. Pieces I purchased a long time ago are finding there perfect partners and I am so happy. I’m considering it a type of intuitive dressing. Which works because I pair it with all the information from here.

The community here has been a gift. The sharing, the insights, the off topic posts, has been an unexpected benefit. And all the clothing advise. I didn’t realize the community existed.

The expected benefit, of course, being all the clothing/style advise, and general wisdom, from Angie.

Thanks for this exercise Angie. It’s good to stop long enough to take stock and see progress.

Learning that this is a process, that my style will change, and that is okay.

And, you can’t tell it from this post, but I have improved my writing skills by posting.

Thanks everyone.

May 30, 2016 at 2:13 pm

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Oops, if there was an edit button I’d adjust the order of my post. I think somehow what I wrote as the conclusion didn’t end up at the end. Oh well.

May 30, 2016 at 2:16 pm

lisap

Nothing to report on personally, but I certainly have enjoyed reading all of these responses. Neat idea, Angie !

May 30, 2016 at 2:33 pm

Sal

Veteran

I give myself a pat on the back for two steps in the right direction with my casual elegance and increased polish. I have bought clothes wisely and been enjoying wearing them – and wearing them! Over the last three (wet) weeks I feel I have taken a half step backwards but I will talk about that elsewhere.

May 30, 2016 at 2:51 pm

Lyn D.

Veteran

A great read!
Definitely ‘Embracing the Grey’ has been the biggest thing for me in the past 12 months.
Whilst I am happy with it I have felt my DH’s disapproval, and it has only made me more determined to make my stand against sexism/ ageism.

May 30, 2016 at 3:06 pm

rabbit

Veteran

I’ve been quite happy with my spring/summer clothes so far. I purchased more shoes and bags in particular, and also tops in white, navy, and black (somehow after culling older/problematic tops I ended up not having many light weight ones in my basic neutrals), and they have been integrating quite well for the most part.

I’m happy that I’m wearing a few old favorites — floral skirts, and embroidered trench much more often now that I have the right accompaniments to make them work easily.

May 30, 2016 at 3:54 pm

krishnidoux

Veteran

Kudos to you! Important stepping stones in a style journey: 1) accepting yourself, 2) simplifying, 3) trying something new, and 4) taking care of yourself by taking care of not spending too much. All those things appear to me as steps towards loving and caring for yourself, towards a happier life; as well as getting rid of unnecessary fuss. It is very inspiring! Thank you for sharing.

Here are my recent style-related things:
– Alterations and re-discovering my own wardrobe;
– Finding a style icon for inspiration;
– Cleaning (seriously cleaning!) all my silver jewelry, repairing some unused chains, discarding others, and pairing necklaces among the jewelry I already owned.

May 30, 2016 at 4:45 pm

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

GREAT, ladies. You are amazing!

You're sweet Krishnidoux, thanks. Alterations can make a HUGE difference. Good job.

Lyn D, I like your tenacity.

Sally, lets discuss that step back on the forum.

Barbara Diane, what a heartfelt and kind list. I am SO proud of you. Love that you're adding the pretty, and feeling special when you do.

Sterling, I loved reading your musings and achievements. Shoes are so very important.

May 30, 2016 at 5:00 pm

Jjsloane

Veteran

For me it’s been an accomplishment to make time to read, comment and even a few posts here! I miss it when I’m away, but the comfort of knowing I will always be welcomed back with open arms.
I can celebrate that I can most days reach in my closet and make an outfit that I’m happy to wear.
I can be happy I am no longer overbuying and am patient to find the perfect item. Thanks to age and Angie’s wisdom.
I retired (threw out) a majority of my shoes because I had worn them to death. Replacing them wisely is my goal.

May 30, 2016 at 5:10 pm

RobinF

Veteran

What a great question. I’m still new at this but I already can see that I’m looking at clothes differently, both in stores and in my closet. I love seeing everyone’s WIW’s and other posts, they are giving me lots of ideas.

May 30, 2016 at 5:29 pm

Windchime

Veteran

Okay, I can’t claim that ALL my S/S shopping is finished. But my wardrobe is in better shape than it’s ever been at this point in the season. I started shopping months before it stopped snowing and got denim crop flares, ankle strap ballet flats, a field jacket, a dress, and several tops.

I still really want black cropped pants (maybe trendy crop flares) for work, some new shorts, and replacements for my well-used exercise walking shoes. Oh, and if I came across the right denim skirt, a HEWI for three years now, I’d definitely snatch it upl

May 30, 2016 at 5:39 pm

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

The post and responses are wonderful. I am sputtering trying to begin! Just recently Angie’s suggestion of architectural to my moniker has proven a huge help in sifting through the clothes I see and separating the good for me from the good for someone else. More than anything, I am consistently inspired by woman on the forum of all ages looking and being fab, so I am patting myself on the back for finding this place ten years ago, and realizing what a find it was!

May 30, 2016 at 6:22 pm

Shelly

Active Member

Although I haven’t shared much at all here yet…

Being a petite hourglass I have always found it easier to wear tops and skirts but being older now I don’t like my legs the same way I used to. I discovered I owned a bunch of bad jeans and a so so pair of black pants. I discovered the concept of capsules and embraced neutrals.

I have a small budget so I haunt the sales for my basics from the petite departments. I have purchased pants in navy, black, grey, white and a couple of prints. Long, 3/4 and some nice shorts.

I am not into fashion really and am happy to buy things I like that fit into my look and not to buy a wardrobe full of oprhans. I love that word “orphan” and can now shop and my eyes glance over things that don’t fit in with my colours and style and only settle when something for ME jumps out.

I do wear colour and wear colours to add to my neutrals that suit my cool complexion. I add pink, other blues and a touch of red and orange mostly. I love scarves and have slowly purchased a selection for all seasons.

My Seamstress. She is amazing and even though I buy petites I take them to her for length and waist. She recently informed me I have a sway back and it is another reason why I have difficulty buying from the rack.

I hate to iron and I am happiest with wash and wear rather than a full ironing basket and nothing to put on with a minute’s notice. I do have a few pieces that are linen etc but try to limit these purchases. I live in a temperate/semi-tropical beachside area and mostly items or at least tops need to be washed after each wear. It is also a very casual area as far as dress goes.

I love what you do here Angie and I am enjoying each individual journey and I believe that I am more prepared for life than I have been for many, many years.

May 30, 2016 at 7:40 pm

catgirl

Veteran

Finally scheduling time to take care of my health. Everything else has ground to a halt for a while and I’m learning that’s okay. Just staying away from my own house or I will be compelled to vacuum!

May 30, 2016 at 7:50 pm

JAileen

Veteran

I’m buying clothes for my real life.

May 30, 2016 at 8:27 pm

heather.enhui

Active Member

Pat on the back for:

Finally embracing capsules (freed from my tyranny of thought that a capsule must be composed of ___ items and must be dark neutrals.)

Breathing a sigh of relief that JFE is a thing and I don’t have to dress like anyone else; that my preferred covered up style is just as relevant and stylish as those who choose to bare more. Exploring how to do covered up in a way that helps me feel modern, arty, and deliberate and NOT dowdy is a fun and ongoing challenge.

And celebrating the fact that my body is strong despite the illness, treatments and side effects it has endured these last 4 years. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine, and I finally understand that I never need to compare it to anyone else’s.

May 30, 2016 at 9:40 pm

bella

(website)

Veteran

My accomplishments are:

1. I am still nowhere near my pre-pregnancy weight. Yet, for the last year and a half, I have been able to put together reasonably stylish outfits without having any major meltdowns. I have managed this by creating season-specific mini capsules that integrate the stuff that I already have and fit, and buying a few reasonably priced, transitional complimentary pieces. So far so good!
2. This past weekend I took stock of my summer wardrobe. It is in a bit of a disarray. Too many individual pieces, not many outfits. I will have to play around with creating some outfits in front of the mirror, and buying if necessary. But I am proud that I took time to take stock before buying anything new.
3. One major decision I made this past year was to start dyeing my hair again. It has freed a lot of my mental energies that were constantly spent on thinking about how to integrate my graying hair into my style in chic, sophisticated, contemporary way. So I think all in all it was a good decision. But, I still feel a bit of a coward for the social pressure getting to me and effecting my decision. This is what I am going to be working on in the future. Accepting my decisions even if it is to give into the societal expectations…

May 31, 2016 at 12:43 am

mamacandoit

Active Member

ah well that’s an easy one for me: joining YLF actively. Seriously, in just 2 weeks you guys have changed the way I see myself. Priceless

May 31, 2016 at 12:59 am

jenanded

Veteran

After being immersed in building a very tailored corporate black based wardrobe for the ‘new’ corporate job last year, and being very happy with that, I have surprised myself by going a little boho out of work hours this year. My hair is a little longer so I can tie it up for dancing, and one of my favourite toppers has a crazy floral and long hanging tassells off it. I love it! I even break out some earrings from long ago ‘hippy days’ with my loved metallic silver birkis. I have a few other statement pieces -pink brogues, stripy tube skirts, and chiffon tops – which are also fun. I feel ‘braver’ and open to some new exciting changes!

May 31, 2016 at 2:40 am

Colette

Veteran

I’m sorry I’m so late to respond here, but I’ve been thinking about this since yesterday and trying to come up with something worthy of a pat on the back. I just can’t come up with anything. I have enjoyed reading everyone’s ‘pats’ and I am inspired and hopeful that I will have some soon.

May 31, 2016 at 8:09 am

kimlee

Veteran

I am giving myself a pat on the back for returning to YLF – yet again – and finally devoting time to my wardrobe and in a larger sense to myself.

May 31, 2016 at 11:20 am

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I have been trying to remember my motto from last fall: No more mediocre clothes. I think I’m doing pretty well at not adding more mediocrity to my wardrobe. I also will give myself a little cheer for dressing with intention every day. That’s not a new thing this year, but continuing to do it may deserve some credit.

May 31, 2016 at 12:18 pm

lpr200

Veteran

I’m so happy to have reconnected with YLF– I love clothes and style and just reading and looking at everyone has reminded me that this is ok, it’s good!
I got rid of a lot of old clothes and accessories and thoughtfully integrating classics I want to keep.
I think my style motto is going to be “polished edge”.

May 31, 2016 at 8:03 pm

Lisa

Veteran

I’ve been trying to shop my closet before shopping a store. And I am always amazed at how much clothing I seem to own, when I stop and really take a look at my wardrobe instead of always looking at what is new in the stores.

June 1, 2016 at 6:38 am

J.J.

Active Member

Like BrieN, I finally realized that looking put-together and “effortless” actually requires quite a lot of effort… at least at first.

I appreciate that Angie recently did a ‘workshop’ kind of thing with her yellow trousers- and discussed trying on the new piece with different things, seeing what worked. In the past, I have bought clothes based on whether they ‘fit’- in isolation. Then I would try to pair them with one thing. If it worked, great. If not, I would sometimes wear it anyway and feel very un-fab; or else it would languish in the back of my closet. Now, I realized I need to *work* a bit to try things, layer, unlayer,try different silhouettes, jewelry, etc. So now when I buy something (usually online), I try it on with 6 different possibilities, figuring out what’s right. (I guess I thought I could imagine it, and that was enough; it’s not!) Then I make the decision to return it or not.

To put it a little differently… for my job, I write a lot–and of course, revision is at least 70% of the process. I’ve realized I need to do that work/revision with my clothes, too. I’m much more excited about my wardrobe and more forgiving of myself.

Another thing I learned: if some clothing item doesn’t work on me, it doesn’t mean my body is wrong. It’s just not the right thing for me. Nbd, no judgment. Just doesn’t work on me– so I move on.

Thanks all for your thoughtful comments and reflections on your style journeys that have helped me so much! xoxo

June 1, 2016 at 1:18 pm

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

WELL DONE, ladies.

June 1, 2016 at 5:01 pm

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