Forbidden fashion for the over 30’s

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Angie is co-founder of YLF and its resident fashion stylist.

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Forbidden fashion for the over 30’s

— by Angie

on April 6, 2009

Charla Krupp’s New York Times best seller, “How Not to Look Old”, is an insightful and informative read (published in 2008). Formerly the beauty editor of Glamour and senior editor of InStyle magazine, Charla shares her expertise on looking 10 years younger, 10 pounds lighter and 10 times better in fast and effective ways. The information is detailed, tangible, easy to absorb, hands-on and unapologetic. Although I don’t agree with all of Charla’s opinions, this aspect of her book really resonated with me.

The chapters on personal style, fashion and wardrobe planning feature sidebars with succinct checklists that are food for thought. The list that intrigued me the most was “forbidden fashion items for every woman past the age of 30 who wants to look effortlessly chic and classy“. In other words, she considers these items “too young” for women over the age of 30.

Here is the list along with my 2 cents on the subject. I have highlighted the areas where I differ from Charla.

Ankle bracelets: I generally agree, but some ladies wear an ankle bracelet with their national dress. An ankle bracelet looks perfectly appropriate with an Indian Sari, for example.
Belly necklaces: I see Charla’s point. But you might get away with a belly necklace if you’re in superb shape (or if you’re a belly dancer).
Body piercing: Agreed.
Boy shorts: If this refers to underwear then I am guilty as charged, but I imagine that Charla is talking about what I call “hot pants”, or short shorts.If so, I agree.
Collegiate sweats, T-shirts and caps: I wear adorable collegiate lounging sweats every day. They don’t leave the house and they fit well. Until I find a more grown-up substitute I’m sticking with these. I’m with Charla on the T’s and caps though.
Colored cowboy boots: I’m not sure about this one. Perhaps the Texans can help me out.
Crocs: Agreed. My age limit for this item is eight.
Earmuffs: Looking sweet in earmuffs is achievable when you’re older than 30. I saw this look in NYC earlier this year and wished I also had a pair.
Ear piercing in multiples: Agreed.
Flip flops in the city: Agreed. In fact, I’m much stricter here. I say ban flip flops at any age when you’re in the city. It’s beachwear.
Go-go boots: Guilty as charged. At 38 I love my go-go boots and feel that I pull them off with style. I hope to wear them for a little while longer.
Leg warmers: Tough one. I have seen these work on older women who wore them over jeans and in boots.
Micro mini dresses: Agreed.
Mittens: Agreed.
Nameplate necklaces: Agreed. But I have a friend in her early 30’s who wears one with style. I think it’s because she doesn’t look a day over 25.
Newsboy caps: No age limit. I see women in their 50’s sport streamlined versions with style.
Scrunchies: Agreed. My age limit on these is 14. I can hardly believe that my favourite chain store Club Monaco is selling them right now.
Super low riding jeans: Agreed.
Tattoos: This is difficult. If you have a tattoo, you’re stuck with it. Does Charla mean don’t get a tattoo after the age of 30?
Tie-dye anything: I can see tie-dye tops working after 30 if you have a bohemian edge to your style.
Tights in neon colours: Agreed.
Toe-rings: As with ankle bracelets, you can sport these when you’re older if they are part of your national dress.
Tube tops as stand-alones: Agreed.

Overall I think that 30 is too low as a cutoff point, even in some of the areas that I agree. After all, 40 is the new 30! Over to you. What are your thoughts on the items on Charla’s list? Do you think she’s left anything out?

Books · Individual Style

100 comments · Add a comment

Tanya

I have glanced over the book and liked it in general. I am 31 so I have just started to fit in the target age group. The only item on that list that I own and like to wear is a tweedy newsboy cap, and I see nothing wrong with that .

Btw, Kendal Farr’s new book, whose topic is dressing when you are 40 and over, is just out. Amazon just shipped it to me and I can’t wait to get it, considering that Pocket Stylist is my favorite style book so far.

April 6, 2009 at 8:05 am

Patience

I’m curious as to what constitutes super low riding jeans?

Honestly, this list isn’t very helpful. It seems like everything on it is either unsuitable at any adult age or suitable for all adult ages. It would be more helpful to have a list of things that are a little more hazy. But in this case I’m guessing there are some exceptions, especially if you are just over 30 and look younger.

April 6, 2009 at 8:12 am

Lori

While I agree with some of these items I belive it is possible to wear many of them well past 30. It is not very difficult to choose more refined versions to suit a more sophisticated style – but some do need to just go (stand alone tube tops?!) I live in a very warm climate – it is pretty sandal weather most everyday. Properly pedicured feet with a simple gold band toe ring is fine at 38. Giving up a particular item based on a number rather than your personal style and body type is aging in itself.

April 6, 2009 at 8:15 am

Mary

Like Tanya, I’m 31, so I’m new in the over 30 crowd also.

I know this is something you’ll probably disagree with, but on the collegiate T-shirt subject, I think sometimes you just have to wear athletic T’s. My 10 year old football player would be absolutely traumatized if I didn’t wear a Panther Football T on game day. He would think I was embarrassed to be his mom or something, and that would traumatize me

Now, my T fits perfectly – shapely and not boxy, I wear them with well-fitting jeans or clamdiggers and nicer shoes, and I only wear them on game day or for pajamas. Every other day of the year I can wear what I want to, but on game days I am a proud football mom.

April 6, 2009 at 8:21 am

Marlene

My issue with the whole age-thing is that you start getting into really negative territory when you start saying a woman should or shouldn’t wear this or that…at at certain age. A woman should feel empowered to wear whatever expresses her own personal style at whatever age she is. Most of the things on the list would be tacky at ANY age…short-shorts? crocs? So to lay out some sort of age barrier seems judgemental. If you wear go-go boots at age 29…and they suit your personal style…now you need to toss them on the morning of your 30th birthday? Nope. Wear them proudly.

April 6, 2009 at 8:26 am

LegacyOfPearl

(website)

Angie, I agree with you on the go-go-boots and newsboy caps. I love all of them. I don’t think I’d ever let go of the comfort and style of Burberry earmuffs (http://www.designersimports.co.....mod=BCEM-P) when it is so cold outside. I don’s see what’s wrong with cowboy boots either. As long as they are not the focus of the whole outfit, I think they are quite nice. Maybe others wouldn’t agree with me, but I’d like to add bulky sports backpacks to this list. There are so many other options to choose from even in the backpack department.

April 6, 2009 at 8:29 am

Joy

Another look that probably shouldn’t be worn after age 8 but that I see way too often is the wearing of clothing adorned with Disney and other characters (outside Disneyland). A 30+ in troll doll earrings, Care Bear tee, Pooh socks, Strawberry Shortcake lunchbag, Hello Kitty purse etc. does not look youthful.
However, in my search for the right graphic tee I’ve wondered if a design that looks like it was taken from a classic superhero comic book might be acceptable under a vest or jacket. What do you think?

April 6, 2009 at 8:33 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Mary, I totally agree. Going to a ball game is “engaging in a sporting activity”, so by all means wear the appropriate gear, especially if it makes your son happy. Throw in the cap too. My point is that those types of T’s and caps should not be worn as everyday casual wear – when you are NOT engaging in a sport. I hope that makes sense.

Tanya, I can’t wait to read Kendal Farr’s new book and mine is on order too. We can compare notes!

Marlene, I applaud your empowering point of view but I wholeheartedly believe that there is an age limit to sporting certain clothes and looks – but the age limit might be different for different people. I hope that makes sense. Generally, you shouldn’t be dressing like a teenager when you’re over the age of 35–ish no matter how in shape you are. Somehow, there is nothing that ages you more than trying to look too young.

Nice one Legacy Of Pearl and your Burberry earmuffs sound great. I like your suggestion of banning gear-looking backpacks.

Another good point, Joy. Why don’t you post a link to the T you’re describing and thrash it out.

April 6, 2009 at 8:40 am

Ele

Angie, I agree with you on almost everything here, except:

Mittens. Maybe it’s just me being from Canada, where it gets so cold that leather gloves just aren’t an option year-round, but I certainly think the right pair can look good at almost any age. My mum is turning 60 this year and even she rocks some cute mitts!

Micro-minis. Just how micro are we talking, here? I can think of several women (Gwyneth Paltrow, Elle Macpherson) who still look amazing in super-short skirts. I say if you have the legs, and the rest of the outfit is more modest/mature, why not?

I also think it’s funny that nameplate necklaces are on the list. While I don’t know anyone at all who wears this look, I find it strange that the woman (okay, character) who popularised this look was over 30, but it’s considered too young for other women of this age group. I mean, it’s almost sad, if you think about it.

April 6, 2009 at 8:46 am

carissa

(website)

I know several women over the age of thirty getting tattoos . . .

A large tattoo on the low back is quite pronounced and garners much attention, I can’t imagine what it will look like on a 60 year old swimming grandma.

However, I recently saw a tattoo under the arm, more right along the bra line on the side of a woman’s body. She was fifty+ and it was really pretty peeking through the white lace of her bra (I was fitting her in shirts). Much better placement than the aforementioned tatt.

April 6, 2009 at 8:51 am

Joey

Good advice. I like having these guidelines and they make sense to me. I agree with your comments, Angie. I do think mittens are timeless (but maybe not city wear). They are cute and especially functional in super cold climates. Cherio!

April 6, 2009 at 8:58 am

san

I like the list. It is good to have a starting point to go from.
On the short skirt topic, I just realized from this thread that one of the problems with women over 30 wearing them is that it sets them up for critique on whether they can pull it off or not. I think Elle looks good in one, but Gweneth just doesn’t quite pull it off. When I see a picture of Gweneth in a mini skirt I think to myself that it is time for her to cover up a little more, and I wonder why she is going in that direction with her style.

April 6, 2009 at 9:15 am

Christie

I think this is a semi-bizarre list. Some things I can see, but “banning” clothing at 30… I’m not so sure.

I am 29 going on 30. I can’t foresee myself changing my fashion in 5 months. Case in point, my nose ring. I got my nose ring when I was in college, and I can probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve taking out this piercing (twice last year when I had surgeries). I even stopped taking it out when going to Court. It is a piece of who I am. The post itself is small, silver, and only barely visible. Some people don’t even notice it at first. I, at times, forget that I have it. This ring is such a part of who I am that I can’t imagine removing it in 5 months or 5 years.

A tattoo? So maybe I was stupid at 19 to get a large tattoo on my stomach, but it’s not going anywhere.

April 6, 2009 at 9:17 am

Lex

(website)

Okay, I’m claiming an exemption for my nameplate necklace because it’s in Arabic and I’ve had it since before Candace Bushnell sipped her first cosmopolitan.

April 6, 2009 at 9:17 am

Real Style Real People

(website)

I think it should be over 50 or just differentiate between looking girly and looking womanly. The one that threw me was the ankle bracelet. I think they can look classy and pretty (but maybe I am biased b/c I make and sell them in my jewlery business).:)

April 6, 2009 at 9:18 am

Mary

Angie, I am so delighted you approve of my football T’s. There are several stylists/fashion columnists (I realize they’re not necessarily the same thing) who would object to them even at the game, and that just drives me batty because sometimes your clothes don’t have to be all about you. You know what I mean? Anyway, I will continue to sport my son’s team apparel for athletic events and feel better knowing I have your approval

April 6, 2009 at 9:20 am

Jennifer

(website)

OK, I’m going out on a limb here. One of my fave personal looks is the knee-length skirt and funky colorful knee socks. The socks are usually striped or argyle and very bright. One pair has sock monkeys.

I just turned 40 and am a slim 5’4″ rectangle.

What do you think? Too juvenile? Any suggestions for how to grow this look up?

One problem is the shoes… I usually wear chunky Keen mary janes. Maybe if I did converse it would be more funky and less little girl? I’d like to say it’s my personal style but I don’t want to scream “Dweeb!”

April 6, 2009 at 9:39 am

Jess

I agree with Marlene and Real Style Real People. I think that putting age limits on things can be dangerous because not everyone looks their age. Case in point – when my mother was 47 she was carded and when she asked the waitress if it was the restaurant’s policy to card everyone the waitress said (in not-too-polite terms) “No!” She could have passed for late 20s in her 40s (I am grateful for these genes) I think that rather than putting age limits, the list title should be dressing like a child/teen vs. dressing like a grown woman. It really depends on the person and their body.

That being said, I have never worn, nor would wear many of items on this list, regardless of age, and I gave up scrunchies at age 12!

April 6, 2009 at 9:40 am

lola

As a Texan, colored cowboy boots are okay if it is matching and a part of a women’s style. As an Houstonian, I will only wear colored boots during a trail ride or a rodeo. I do own a pair of Steve Madden taupe suede boots that I wear with jeans and dresses. When it comes to flip-flops, I wear mine daily. In Houston, it is hot even in the winter. In humid/hot climates, it is a must. My flipflops are a dark leather with no detailing. I stay away from those cheapies that are made from plastic foam.

April 6, 2009 at 9:49 am

Susan H.

I enjoyed reading the list as well as Angie’s comments. I agree with what some ladies have said that some of the items seem to be inappropriate not because they’re young, but because they’re just bad style–such as crocs and super-low-rise jeans.

I always have to laugh at little when I see lists like this, because inevitably there are things on it that are labeled too young after 30, 35, or 40… and they’re things I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing right now, at 25! Super-short shorts, micro-minis, and tube tops… I stopped wearing that stuff when I was in college, not because of any body shape issues, but because I just felt like I’m an adult now and I should dress like one.

April 6, 2009 at 9:51 am

Cricket

What other hats are more stylish for summer? I wear a baseball cap to the pool or lake, which I think is fine. I wouldn’t wear one to an outdoor party though.

April 6, 2009 at 9:55 am

KatieM

“forbidden fashion items for every woman past the age of 30 who wants to look effortlessly chic and classy“.

I think the key word there is effortlessly. There are plenty of women over 30 (or 40 or 50) who can rock many of the things on that list, though I have my doubts about scrunchies, but if you’re not doing it deliberately and it’s not really worked into your personal style, you’re probably safer staying away.

I grant an exemption on crocs for people who work in jobs where they’re standing all day. As a desk job worker, I hate to impose my aesthetics on their foot pain.

April 6, 2009 at 9:56 am

CaramelBlondie

I’m going to ck the bk out from my local library. Stay tuned for my thoughts…

April 6, 2009 at 9:56 am

Cricket

Jennifer … I have some sleeker Keen mary janes that I wear as fashion sneakers with casual jeans. They work for me for now.

April 6, 2009 at 9:56 am

Marlene

Angie – your interpretation of the age-appropriate rule is right on…it is really dependant on each individual woman and her personal style.

April 6, 2009 at 10:00 am

Antje

Veteran

I’m not a fan of what-not-to-wear lists, including this one. I think there is very little that is always a “don’t”, and so much depends on the context. E.g. I don’t see anything wrong with a 35 year old sipping a cocktail at the beach bar in a tube top if she looks and feel great.

A lot of what makes something look good vs. bad or appropriate vs. inappropriate is due to
1) context – both in terms of place and time (an evening at the bar is different than a morning in the office) and in terms of what else the woman is wearing (a mini skirt with boots and a sweater looks different than a mini skirt with a revealing glitter top and high heels)
2) how the woman looks and feels about herself. I’d feel and look awful in a tube top and would absolutely be a “don’t”, but a friend with a different upper body and a different attitude might look great. On the flip side (pun intended) I think I’m still a “do” on a hot summer day in my clams and a blouse and a pair of halfway decent flip flops.

No absolutes and no lists for me – though guidelines are helpful and a critical eye towards the outfit on the whole is even more helpful, especially when leveraging the YLF tips and tools

April 6, 2009 at 10:02 am

Phoebe

I do love to wear my nameplate, but it is fashionably done and I think it gives me the funky urban edge. (And I am 31) But overall, I tend to agree with Charla’s tips.

April 6, 2009 at 10:07 am

Alison

I have to disagree with the mittens. I live in an area of the states that this winter alone got to -35f and regularity stays below 0f in the winter. Mittens are way warmer than gloves.

April 6, 2009 at 10:27 am

Nadia

Scrunchies are on the list as a no-no for over 30s because everyone under thirty already knows they are hideous.

April 6, 2009 at 10:32 am

K Lauren

I have this book and it was quite interesting. I’m a number of years over 30 and 40, for that matter. I think alot of her ideas were right on the money. But I saw the comments she made more as guidelines rather than hard and fast rules. It’s all about gracefully getting older and still staying hip and stylish and helping to not look like the old “mutton dressed as lamb” stuff. There’s always going to be those girls that pull off a look at just about any age – I have a pal that’s in her 60’s and still can wear a fitted short dress and looks 25, but that’s her – I looked “muttony” back when I was 30 in that get up. So, a guideline and some good ideas that just get you to thinking about the statements you might be making with your personal style. Antje and Marlene said it so well.

April 6, 2009 at 10:46 am

Maya

I agree with Antje and Marlene on this. I don’t like these kinds of lists. It’s stupid to think that on the eve of your 30th birthday (or the even of when you start to “look” 30), you need to go through a wardrobe overhaul (and why did she choose 30? 30 is still so young). Furthermore, there are so many other variables at play. I just think that while style and fashion are supposed to nurture positive feelings, lists like these are just negative and I find them insulting to women.

What I find odd about this list is that so many of the items are just bad style at ANY age. Does Charla think Crocs are appropriate for 25 year old me? If so, I wouldn’t let her touch my wardrobe with a 10 foot pole!

Some of the items are matters of practicality, like earmuffs and mittens. Others have personal value, like tattoos and piercings (yes, I know lots of people who feel their piercing is a part of who they are). I can’t imagine Kat Von D deciding to stop getting bod mods at any age. She would be a completely different person, and she isn’t an exception just because she’s famous. There are lots of women like her out there. Just look at bmezine and you’ll find them in droves. So much of this ignores personal style, comfort levels, personality, attitude, lifestyle, culture, context, and of course BODY TYPE!

Frankly I find that the women who make these kinds of lists come off as catty and judgmental. You can bet I’ll be sporting a lot of “don’ts” as I get older. Maybe no one will believe me or put much stock into what I’m saying because I’m young and foolish, but I’m also stubborn and unlikely to change my mind!

April 6, 2009 at 10:57 am

jwomack

I totally agree with the comments flying around here. The difference between dressing as a young teen/early 20’s and as we age is simply that you want to look more sophisticated as we get older. At a young age, you pull off that cute, comfy, casual thing and everyone thinks you are adorable. At 41, I don’t want to be viewed as adorable, I want to be viewed as sophisticated and classy. I think it is hard to put a hard and fast age limit on certain items because some people do look younger than their age. It is also about what looks good on your body and what style suits you. I can probably wear things now I would not have worn in my 30’s because I am in much better shape physically (post-baby stage of life). That being said, some things just scream young and casual (exposed bellies, character t’s, pjs as pants, etc.)

April 6, 2009 at 11:14 am

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Age? This list has nothing to do with age! Belly necklaces and scrunchies? I’m sorry, but no one should wear those, no matter what their age.

I am so tired of stylists telling me what NOT to do. What NOT to wear, how NOT to look old. It’s all such a DOWNER. I’d rather read Angie any day!

April 6, 2009 at 11:21 am

shiny

This reminds me of the woman I saw this weekend, at a nightclub. The crowd was late 20s to 40. I don’t know this woman’s age. All I know is, she looked bad, and whatever her real age was, not only did I think her outfit was quite tacky, I also got the impression her outfit was aging her something fierce. I’m going to guess she was around 25-30.

She was quite a beautiful woman, but her clothing choices were painful to look at. She had:

1) a deep tan (which looks out of place here in spring in Boston); but I will give her the benefit of the doubt that she was visiting from FL. The worst part was that she had tan lines showing because she was wearing…

2) A black, belly-baring halter top in chintzy fabric. With no bra. And she must’ve been a D cup. She needed a bra for sure.

3) skin-tight low-rise black denim skinny jeans. She had no muffin top but the rise was so low…. let’s just say, it was nearly indecent.

4) A studded belt.

5) Lower back tattoo.

Now most of those on their own, with other garments, may have worked okay. Studded belt can be awfully cute no matter what your age, with the right outfit. Even the super-low-rise jeans may have been passable with a long top to cover the belly. The halter top… eek, I guess that had to go! Not sure how she could’ve made that one work.

I guess this is to say those ear muffs, mittens, and sports tee’s can look perfectly fine, but it’s all about restraint. Worn altogether WITH a disney baseball cap…. well, you get the picture!

April 6, 2009 at 11:48 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

What is a “dweeb”?

I like your passionate responses, ladies. (And thanks for making me smile, Laura). A post like this certainly gets the adrenalin flowing on a Monday morning. Here are a few further thoughts on what’s been going down:

o I understand why Charla makes an age-related boundary because if you’re really loose about that side of things, where will it end? Similarly, I’m unforgiving about wearing gear or sweats as everyday casual wear while you’re not engaging in a sport or sporting activity. If we start to make countless exceptions for situations, before you know it, we won’t have ANY boundaries. Picking on the “you’re 29 one day and 30 the next” is merely a guideline. It’s not meant to be as extreme as it sounds. Perhaps it could be rephrased to “30-ish” or “40-ish”. It’s just a thought.

o I hear everyone on the mittens thing. There probably are sophisticated versions out there. I want to prevent the juvenile aspects that accompany this look, though. But as someone who suffers from the cold, at -35 degrees Celsius, who cares!

o Ele, micro minis are a moot point. You certainly don’t look bad in a micro mini when you have legs like Gwyneth Paltrow who is in her mid thirties. But I believe she’d look better and classier in a mini that wasn’t as micro.

o Cricket, I love that you’re protecting your face from the sun with headgear. That’s uber stylish. Perhaps start a thread on the forum about Summer headgear. I know we can find you an alternative to your baseball cap

o As far as tattoos go, I think you either like the look or you don’t at ANY age. The fact remains that if you got a tattoo when you were younger, you’re virtually married to it. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t look stylish with an old tattoo as you age.

o I live in a grungy city and people with body piercings are around every corner. It’s a style statement for sure. Whether it’s a stylish style statement is debatable. I forgot to mention that nose piercings look fabulous on exotic Indian and Thai women at every age. It’s part of their culture and I love it.

o Lex, you crack me up. I bet your Arabic nameplate necklace looks eclectic and lovely. Phoebe, you know I was talking about you as my stylish friend who gets away with wearing a nameplate necklace.

o Bob’s your Uncle, Mary!

o Jennifer, I’d love to see your “bobby socks and skirt look” if you’d care to post a picture on our forum.

o Jess, I like your thinking: “I think that rather than putting age limits, the list title should be dressing like a child/teen vs. dressing like a grown woman”. That’s the crux. The so called age limit is different for different people.

o Thanks for the Texan perspective, Lola. I need to reiterate that in my frame of reference, “flip flops” are the cheap rubber shoe style you refer to. What you wear sounds like a nice thong sandal and that’s great.

In my line of work I see women defy their age effortlessly, while I see others look older than they are because their style ages them. In line with what many of you were speaking about: I have clients in their late, late 60’s who are trendier and look younger than some of my clients in their early 50’s. They totally pull off certain styles because they have the personality, grace, sophistication, edge and body type to accompany the look. Style is a PACKAGE deal for sure.

April 6, 2009 at 12:16 pm

Jennifer

(website)

Angie, you’re killing me. A “dweeb” is someone who is clueless… who is dorky and doesn’t know it… who doesn’t know that everyone is laughing at them… who is socially inept. I hope you know what a dork is. Basically it’s a dweeb.

I’ll put a pic up on the forum… I’ve been meaning to.

April 6, 2009 at 12:36 pm

Joelle

I agree with the other ladies who commented saying that the overall look is what’s important rather than specific individual items. Many of the things in the list, in the right context with the right outfit would look OK. Others are so childish that they should not be worn by anybody over 18. And also, our eyes get accustomed to styles that are interpreted in new ways. Ten years ago when I was 22, I would have been horrified if someone told me I would be wearing puffed sleeves again, yet here I am at 32 wearing a dark brown button down shirt with puffed sleeves and it makes me feel quite stylish.

April 6, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Heather

In the South, it is definitely acceptable to wear cowboy boots of any color at any age! Flip flops are also acceptable for all ages, although they are usually not the plastic/foam variety.

April 6, 2009 at 12:45 pm

Imogen

(website)

30 is way too young! More like 40 is more appropriate, but even then 40 is young (I should know, I’m 40).

I think if the garment works for a person’s personal style and it’s done well, not in a tacky or unkempt way, then it can work.

She also hates red lipstick – and there are plenty of women over 30 who look fabulous still in a red lipstick.

April 6, 2009 at 1:28 pm

Ellen

I like your last comment about ‘dressing like a teen versus dressing like a woman’, Angie. I am 24 and in reading this, I would say that I already don’t wear many of these ‘don’ts’. I am an adult, married with a child, and I don’t want to look like the babysitter.

That being said, I agree with Shiny’s point that many of these items have to be assessed in context. A newsboy cap could top off many a classic ensemble in a stylish and mature way. And one of my ‘style inspirations’, my mom’s best friend in her 40’s, wears jewelry such as ankle bracelets, toe rings, etc and looks perfectly stunning and mature. I can think of many instances in which stylish older women I respect wear certain ‘young’ items with confidence.

And so, I think that this comes down to being an issue of knowing how to edit and combine items in such a way that the entire result is suitable to your stage of life. At 24, I don’t dress any differently than most of my friends who are in their 30s. My stage of life is ‘adult’ and I present myself in that way, but I’ll tell you – I will still wear a button-down, dark jeans, and classic jewelry with a neatly-cut newsboy hat (the ONLY style of hat that suits me) and you’re not going to tell me that will look too ‘young’ in ten years.

April 6, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Carolyn

So glad Lola mentioned the colored cowboy boots. My MIL, who looks 10-20 years younger than her age, is a classic West Texas woman. She dresses in NM fashion, has the latest specs, and wears her red cowboy boots with long denim fitted skirts, when the occasion calls for Western wear (or at chilly football games). It helps that my FIL is a clone of John Wayne, and who couldn’t look good next to him- boots and all?! (Their names are Codie and Hoss.)
Tanya, I no more than read the mention of Kendall Farr’s new book and mine is on order too.

April 6, 2009 at 2:00 pm

Brianna

Interesting list–and so many great comments!

Some of the items I disagree with, or would add caveats to. I think you wear go-go boots exceptionally well, Angie. You could wear those same boots with a different outfit (IE a mini floral dress) and look ridiculous. That goes for almost any element of fashion. I love leggings, for example, but they look stupid when girls wear them as if they were pants. That doesn’t mean they should be on the no-no list. I feel the same way about body piercings. I have a nose piercing and wear a very, very small, flush-to-the-skin, crystal (diamond-look) stud in it every day. People often don’t notice it until they’ve known me for ages, but it’s very much a part of me and my style. To me, nose studs are practically mainstream, at least on the West Coast. Labret, eyebrow, tongue, and other facial piercings are a different matter and align the wearer much more firmly with alternative sub-cultures.

Mittens are definitely a cold-weather necessity in some places, but when it’s cold enough for them to be a necessity, it’s also cold enough for a lot of less stylish cold weather necessity items, like giant snow boots. Super-cold weather like the weather much of Canada gets for part of the year is, in my opinion, a time when gear is acceptable–probably even required.

I hate crocs, scrunchies, micro-minis, tube tops, super low jeans, and non-lingerie boy shorts on everyone, in every situation, regardless of age.

The only people who should wear belly chains are belly dancers when in costume, and those who wear them as part of their cultural garb. Same with ankle bracelets (well, those are OK on teenagers and poeple at the beach). Angie, I’m surprised to hear you say you could see belly chains being worn on other occasions! Multiple ear piercings I only appreciate on those who wear them in a subculture way. Otherwise they’re just tacky.

Everything else can run the gamut from horrible to amazing depending on how the item is styled and how it’s worn.

The only things that really seem to look stylish on younger women and not so much on older women are neon tights, leg warmers, and nameplate necklaces. Of those, the only ones I personally ever like are bright tights.

April 6, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Taylor

(website)

I think we have all seen the older woman trying too hard…it’s awful I am 51 and my shape allows for pretty much anything….HOWEVER just because you can wear something doesn’t mean you should. I dress very conservitive. Yes I wear cute premium denim….but I pair it with beautiful shoes and a structured jacket, clasic jewelry and other classic items.

I always check with the husband …does this look too young ,too short,whatever just to be sure.

I would rather look classy..instead
Somethings at my age I won’t wear are”
anything low in front
anything low in back..bottom cleavage
anything short around my tummy…
I don’t own converse tennies,
I don’t own doc martins
I don’t wear t-shirts..graphics or any other
I don’t wear sweat shirts out…
nothing with JUICY, BEBE, or others across the tushie
I wont ever own crocs
I wont ever own UGGs
Lots of other things I won’t do but, you get the idea … cut on other..just too young for me.

April 6, 2009 at 2:57 pm

JewelryGirl

Oh my gosh – this is hillarious!! Ok, I have a couple of new books to add to my list. I agree with most of this. The funny things that stand out to me are as others have said – some of that stuff no-one should be wearing (or at least no-one past 12). I do feel that it’s how you carry yourself & what you place with things. My personal exception to the list is my toe ring – I just sported one last Saturday night. I will continue to, for awhile anyway – I just enjoy it.

I think it’s typically with a bunch of other things that are amiss. We had a similar incident. Out at a winery a few weeks ago, love to people watch. This group of women (not girls) had to be my age (mid 40’s) could be older even. Anyway, watching them dance – a couple of them were superb ballroom dancers, another had her own form of dancing (if you know what I mean). Regardless, the thing that struck us was each of the clothing styles. One for example – GREAT body, long hair (with gray throughout), super tight Olivia Newton-John pants from Grease, black tube top (I swear it was from the 70’s), at least 4″ heels, etc. etc. etc. My point being – could she have possibly gotten away with one items tht was off – possibly considering her stellar body & exquisite dancing; however, there were just too many things!

April 6, 2009 at 3:04 pm

carrie

At first I was a little taken aback that 30 was the cut-off age, but then reading the list I do agree with most of those things.

Having just turned 30, I have been trying to find my 30 year old style because a lot of the clothes I have been relying on I have been relying on for YEARS. When I sat down and thought about it I realized that what I wore in college might technically be appropriate, but it was cheap, cut for a different figure, and not reflective of all the achievements I’ve made since then. I’ve been focusing on making my style say successful, intelligent woman.

April 6, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Sri

Some background on me:

I am tall, dark skinned, brunette with naturally curly hair. I am in my late 30s and am Indian American. I like to wear classic yet modern clothes. I am a mom to two kids, and my body has changed, so I have changed my style over the years.

Here are some of my current personal rules:

1. Dry clean only clothes worn only for work
2. Spend more on regular, versatile clothes. I have few occassions that require more than an LBD.
3. No time to iron – so I rely on knits, jeans, and other wrinkle free clothes. I also always fold/hang my clothes the moment they come out of the drier.
4. I love jewelry of all kinds (especially pearls) – but believe in one at a time
5. Effortlessly chic to me means – healthy, well groomed skin, hair and nails with well tailored clothes.

My beef with Charla’s list (and most other do/dont lists) is that they aim to be a one size fits all. Charla recommends lightening your hair as you grow older, and I believe that would look ridiculous on my mom. Similarly, I can very much see myself sporting an anklet or a toe ring with a long tiered summer skirt (though I own neither at the moment).

So, while I generally agree that one will need to modify their wardrobe with age, I think any such do/dont list needs to be personalized. An excellent example of a good “list” was the one you wrote Angie on wardrobe essentials. You may want to publish don’t “guidelines” instead of don’t “lists”.

April 6, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Cosmo

I am very new here and I haven’t had time to read all of Angie’s wisdom yet, but I think that a lot of these are kind of random to cut off at 30. I just turned 30 and I feel like some of the things I wore when I was 25 are no longer suitable for me not for everyone my age. Most of the things on the list are negotiable up to 50 at least. A lot of the other things have a proper place and time to be worn even Crocs. Crocs are designed for boating and are excellent for working in the garden because they are easy to clean and crocs sandals are perfect for the beach because they are easy to hose off. Of course I am assuming that when you all say Crocs you mean the clogs with the holes in them and not the other non-clog Crocs styles like the Santa Cruz or the Venice. I agree with a lot of the other people who have already said that there is no good reason for wearing a scrunchy after middle school.

April 6, 2009 at 6:56 pm

Rose

I see this list as a whole, and thus agree with it completely. For example, if someone were wearing every forbidden item (extreme to make a point), we’d probably all agree it wouldn’t look too polished! But I am learning that part of figuring out my personal style is determining which rules work for me and which ones I should break. So I am not surprised if all of us over 30 ladies can break 1 or more of these “rules” and still pull off a classy, put together look. The forbidden item I sport is the nose ring, like another posting here I feel I pull it off well, it is very small and I think it really suits me, adds just a subtle sparkle and I hardly ever wear any other jewelry. Funny that I got the nose ring to look “cool” when I was younger but I think my nose ring look has somehow managed to mature with me, when that stops happening I’ll take it out!!

April 6, 2009 at 7:58 pm

Rosie

Mittens work in cold weather. I found a leather pair with an inside flannel glove at Target a few years ago that are my favorites. I am unfortunately still wearing them. I am much over 30, and it seems fine.

I do wear sweats to the gym in the morning, but at 6:00 no one looks at each other. I see people coming in pajama bottoms.

These comments are great. You are all right on target.

April 6, 2009 at 8:00 pm

san

You know I honestly thought Gweneth Paltrow was in her mid 30’s. It could be because she has been a star for so long, but I wonder too if her style is aging her. I don’t have anything against mini skirts in the right application but two women I have noticed that seem to be over doing it are Gweneth Paltrow and Carrie Underwood. I think they are both extremely talented in their craft, but I keep seeing them in ultra short skirts and wonder why so much leg exposed, especially when the camera shoots them from a low view point and we can see up the skirt.

April 6, 2009 at 9:22 pm

lex

Great list. I tend to agree with Angie about the things that are a little inflexible in this list. However, I also believe there’s always a person somewhere who can break the rules.

The only thing I’d add is LONGER HAIR.

For me, once a woman’s hair is past the shoulder blades it’s too long, particularly after 40. I’d even say past the top of the shoulders, when we’re talking about a woman who’s 50 years old, although I’m sure there’s someone somewhere who carries it off (and no, I don’t think Nicole Kidman and her tight-as-a-drum forehead are carrying off the long hair so well.)

April 6, 2009 at 9:29 pm

Taylor

(website)

I agree lex. I saw photo of Charla and my first thought was that her hair aged her….wrong style and color, just hanging there trying to look like *young* hair screaming for a makeover!

April 6, 2009 at 9:37 pm

Lynn

(website)

Not even my dainty Brighton anklet with the little silver butterfly that my dh bought me to commemorate my first Komen race as a survivor? Really? Aw c’mon.

It’s pretty with my funky skirts. I promise. Anyway, it’s not coming off. No way. (I’m 48.)

April 6, 2009 at 9:57 pm

lex

Taylor, I totally agree – I’ve seen it in the bookstores. After flipping through, I was forced to admit the book itself seems like it has good advice, but Carla herself on the front cover just looks awful to me. She just didn’t seem like a good advertisement to me.

She looks overbotoxed, overblonded, overgroomed and smiling until it kills her. Like someone has to put her back in her box at night. I hope never to look like that!

April 6, 2009 at 10:08 pm

Eva

I agree with many of the items on the list. But I also differ on many. My biggest offense is probably tie dye. Mine are not the wild rainbow colors. They are more subtle with 2 or 3 complementary colors – if tie dye can be called subtle. I like it with a vest or jacket, just like a graphic T. Angie, I love your go-go boots. You wear them so well.

I guess the only thing I would add to her list are tank tops (with the skinny straps) that are used by itself, (not used as a layering piece).

April 6, 2009 at 10:31 pm

yublocka

(website)

I agree with many of these items as well. However as an over-30 myself I refuse to give up my tie-dye top (its so worn through it does need replacing now though!!)

I do wonder about my body piercings. I have had a nose ring for over 10 years now and it just feels like part of me. I wonder when/if I should ever give it away though!!!

April 7, 2009 at 4:26 am

minerva

Fashion and styles evolve over time – if some women didn’t push the boundaries than we’d all still be in corsets and bustles! I think it is a good thing women have the choices they do and if there are some less than aesthetic (and aesthetic is in the eye of the beholder mind you) outfits seen on the street, then so be it. I, personally, wouldn’t want to be in charge of making the guidelines/rules of who should wear what at what age.

April 7, 2009 at 5:30 am

BlondeAmbition

How cruel women are to other women. When I was a teenager and had the legs for a mini skirt I didn’t have the confidence to wear it. What is it that drives us to criticize a woman wearing a mini or short shorts? I say more power to them if they have the body for it and pull it off with confidence.

My ankle bracelet is part of my personal style. Putting it on helps me celebrate the beginning of summer.

April 7, 2009 at 7:31 am

Sarah

So many great comments from Maya, Shiny, Antje and many others. I have nothing to add really except that I agree with them. Lists like these are really guidelines, and just about everyone can break some of the rules, or even most of them, but not all at once. Half of these things either don’t look good on anyone over the age of 12, don’t look good on anyone at all, or are gear.

April 7, 2009 at 7:41 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

More great insight. I love it.

I really like the point about hair length, Lex. I have always believed that the older you get, the shorter you should go. But that does not necessarily mean a short crop. Shoulder blade length is great.

Please know Eva and Tam that I’ve seen you sport tie-dye with style.

April 7, 2009 at 9:08 am

san

No cruelty intended here BlondeAmbition. We’re just discussing.
With the length of skirts, to each her own. Sometimes it does feel uncomfortable to me to be around someone who is showing too much skin. Ofcourse that is in the eye of the beholder too.
I saw Carrie Underwood on 2 awards shows with the camera shootong up her short skirt and thought, now why do we have to go there.

April 7, 2009 at 9:10 am

Rachel

Wow, 30 seems awfully young as a dividing line, particularly in this day and age. I feel like sometimes age is used as a short cut for “place in life”, which is just assuming that every woman over 30 is a mother or something.

That said, I’m with Angie that some of these items should not be seen on people over 14 even. So is the author saying that she’s fine with scrunchies and crocs on 25-year-olds? What if they were students vs. professionals? Again, I feel like the age thing is working the wrong angle.

I also wonder if there’s a bit of a generational divide here. Personally, I feel that what is appropriate on 30-year-olds today is not the same as what was appropriate on 30-year-olds 20 years ago, particularly in regards to piercings and tattoos. I’d bet the author of the book is in her 50s, and that’s going to colour her opinions.

April 7, 2009 at 10:56 am

Amy

I completely agree with Maya’s point, women who write lists like this do come across as catty and judgemental. Mostly, these lists just make me sad that some fashion experts often hurt women’s self esteem more than help. I’m only 31 and reading that made me feel old, how sad. Our society is already so obsessed with youth, now we have to go get botox and dye our hair lighter to look young, but make sure not to dress too young so that we can look like we are permanently planted at whatever age the rest of the world thinks is perfect.

Why can’t books help women embrace their age instead of giving them rules to try and disguise it. I’m all for experts that tell people how to make a certain style work with their body type, what is appropriate for a certain occasion, or how to wear the new trends, but putting an age limit on toe rings and collegiate items? What if you are proud of your kid? Or your grandkid even? I’m thrilled when my mom wears a shirt I got her from my college days because I know it shows how proud she is and I still wear that stuff out because I am proud of my school as well, even if I graduated 10 years ago. I’d be so hurt if she said “sorry sweetie, this will make me look old.” She is expressing pride through her clothing, I thought that was what clothing was supposed to do- help you to express yourself.

This is what often makes me want to run in the opposite direction of fashion, it is too hard on the self esteem. I’d rather not know that there are people out there that are analyzing my attire so critically as to notice that my toe ring is no longer appropriate for my age.

April 7, 2009 at 3:16 pm

minerva

Lists like this are judgemental – we are looking at an outfit and making a judgement regarding the appropriateness of the outfit in conjunction with the perceived age of the wearer. It is part of human nature to make visual judgements of the people and environment around us, but being intelligent, we must remember to try to keep it in perspective.
Amy, I was thinking very much along the same lines – why is there so much focus on looking young? Ten years younger – is that the definition of looking good for one’s age? Can’t you look your actual age and look good? I think I can dress and be mistaken for someone 10 years younger easily, but is that supposed to be a commendable goal for women? Why aren’t there books telling men what they can or cannot wear after 30 or that they should try to look 10 years younger?
Additionally, the book really should be “How to Look 10 years younger for Caucasion Women”. There are many ethnicities that do not need to cut or lighten their hair as they grow older (Indian women for example), never mind that belly chains, piercings and tattoos are part and parcel of many cultures.

April 8, 2009 at 1:38 am

Fashion After 30: Bright Tights « Fashionable People, Questionable Things

(website)

[…] there seems to come new rules about how one should dress in order be appropriate. One such list of rules was found in a review of the book “How Not to Look Old” on the blog YouLookFab.com. […]

April 8, 2009 at 9:38 am

Kim from Nebraska

Scrunchies are those fabric-covered elastic band ponytail holders, right? The thing that Carrie Bradshaw dissed Burger for in his novel? I wear those but only at the gym to keep my hair out of my face. I have really thick hair and barrettes usually aren’t big enough. So please grant a dispensation for those who wear scrunchies to work out. Otherwise, except for mittens, I’m wholely on board with this list.

April 9, 2009 at 7:30 am

athena

Well, I think belly piercings, short shorts, hot pants, super low rise jeans, micro mini skirts, tube tops and other such things only ever look good on girls with extremely fit and toned bodies – it’s not about age, it’s about shape.

April 11, 2009 at 11:32 am

Beth

I have to say that I agree with you on most of these, but I’m 30 (about to be 31) and I still rock a nose ring…it is a very tiny diamond stud & I must say that it works for me. I’m a drama teacher, so being a little bit funky is an ok thing. Also, I have a baby face, most people guess my age to be 23!

April 16, 2009 at 9:23 am

nellie

well i dont agree in the aspect that at 30 u gotta stop doing or wearing some things, i mean if u have the body to pull it of do it ..dont let age interfere she made it sound like at 30 u are idk some old lady i will be 30 next day and still want to do certain things ..of course i dont look 30 haha ppl at work say (bc i just changed job) is this ur first job girlie, sweety i know crazey but they make my day but still i dont think 30 is like the age where u need to stop doing lil inmature things if they make u happy do them…and yeah i have a nose ring too and i wont take it off when im 30..u you have to live life and stop thinking oma im 30…..

April 18, 2009 at 9:42 pm

patricia

So, here’s the thing, everything.. is NOT for everybody! Ofcourse right?! seems like a no brainer, however, there are sum women under 30 that look terrible in certain things (they may not have the body type for example) and sum women over 30 (like me I’m 37 but people consistently think I look 27 or 28) can work a look that’s on the DON’T think about it list) the bottom line:

don’t try to look too young if yor not, and don’t dress too old either if yor able to look great in certain clothes on the don’t do it over 30 list!

April 24, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Barbara

Please, it’s not a “mute point.” It’s a “moot point.” I see this all the time lately, not sure why.

April 25, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Clothes that just gotta go (or do they?) | youlookfab

(website)

[…] makes for a worthwhile exercise. It caused quite a stir when I posted on Charla Krupp’s list of forbidden fashion for the over 30’s (from her New York Times best seller “How Not To Look Old”, a book I really enjoyed). The […]

April 28, 2009 at 7:16 am

CaramelBlondie

As promised, I ckd the bk out from my local lib and here is my meager opinion:
• Ankle bracelets: DEPENDS ON CULTURE/AND THE OCCASION FOR WHICH IT IS WORN
• Belly necklaces: AGAIN, DEPENDS ON CULTURE/ETHNICITY
• Body piercing: AGREE
• Boy shorts: DISAGREE. THESE CAN LOOK GOOD ON THE RIGHT BODY TYPE OVER 30 WITH SAY A NICE BLAZER AND STILETTOS
• Collegiate sweats, T-shirts and caps: AGREE
• Colored cowboy boots: HMM, I LIKE THESE WI A WELL TAILORED JEAN
• Earmuffs: GOTTA STAY WARM IN MICHIGAN! I HAVE A NICE BURGUNDY PAIR THAT ARE REAL FUR AND SUPER CHIC
• Ear piercing in multiples: DISAGREE, I HAVE TWO HOLES IN EACH EAR AND I THINK IT LOOKS FAB
• Flip flops in the city: DOES THIS RULE OUT THONG SANDALS?
• Go-go boots: DISAGREE
• Leg warmers: DISAGREE- I LOVE THEM, AND AGAIN THEY ARE SUPER HELPFUL IN A COLD CLIMATE
• Micro mini dresses: AGREE
• Mittens: AGREE
• Nameplate necklaces: AGREE
• Newsboy caps: NOT SURE WHAT THESE ARE
• Scrunchies: IT’S OK TO WEAR THEM IN THE GYM
• Super low riding jeans: AGREE
• Tattoos: AGREE
• Tie-dye anything: AGREE
• Toe-rings: DISAGREE
• Tube tops as stand-alones: DISAGREE

April 30, 2009 at 12:12 pm

gina

I’m coming to this discussion way, way late!

I think there are some things on that list that NO ONE should wear (scrunchies, belly necklaces, crocs – at least the traditional colored-plastic-with-the-holes kind; the brand also makes more stylish but still comfy shoes). There are also things that are quirky at any age, but if they work on the person, they work at any age (colored cowboy boots, mittens, earmuffs, leg warmers).

Some items, one needs to be careful with as one ages – microminis, tights in neon colors, short shorts, tube tops – mostly, the skin-baring items. But, if the person still has the body to look good AND if the entire outfit is age appropriate in general, that one item is not an absolute no-no. In a monochrome outfit where the tights are the brightest part, neon tights (purple, green, pink, blue) work just fine. A modest (long, fitted, but not too tight) tube top with a full longish skirt is a perfect summer weekend semi-casual outfit. Super low cut jeans are appropriate on a woman with a toned stomach if her shirt reaches a least to the top of the jeans, or if the top extends a little bit lower.

Other than that, the rest of the stuff is good at any age, IF it fits the person’s style and body in general. I mean, collegiate wear?? Come one! Maybe it’s b/c I went to a clique-y school with a VERY active alumni community, but I think my (fitted, stylishly-shaped) college tee, will continue to be good at any age. Or my zip-up hoodie. In the appropriate –casual– setting.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m in my early thirties, look a bit young for my age (usually get taken for mid to late twenties), slim figure that fits best in “junior” clothing, and wear almost 75% of the listed items regularly – but usually not all together, and live in an urban area and regularly mix with an “artsy” crowd. If that makes any difference.

May 21, 2009 at 9:53 pm

As a knitter myself, I have to seriously disagree with any perception of mittens as childish. If you’d like examples, search anemoi or lillyfield mittens.

May 27, 2009 at 5:14 pm

toniann

dress to not look like an old fool. whoever gets offended probably already does. case closed

June 8, 2009 at 6:40 am

Mander

Most of this stuff I wouldn’t have worn when I was a teenager, let alone now in my mid-30s. Or at least, not on any sort of “fashionable” occasion. The only exceptions are the boots, necklace, and maybe the cap. Well, perhaps bright tights with an otherwise plain outfit. Like a black skirt. When I’m just going to the pub.

Other things like mittens, ball caps, etc. have perfectly legitimate functional purposes and if I’m engaged in something like yard work, a snowball fight, lounging on the beach, or a ball game, I don’t care about my lack of fashion sense.

That said, I have a pair of plain black crocs that I often wear on trips involving lots of walking and airports, because they are very lightweight in my carry-on luggage, comfortable, and easy to remove. And I do sometimes wear legwarmers, but only underneath boot-cut jeans or as outerwear in cold weather (y’know, to actually keep my legs warm). I treat them like gloves for my legs.

And while I hardly ever wear them anymore, I will never give up my Doc Martens.

June 15, 2009 at 4:18 am

Kate

I disagree about the leg warmers. That is absurd. I wear them because I have ankle pain and can’t wear socks well. I’m 34 and I get complements pretty much every time I wear them.

I’ve seen my supervisor (a late 50s grandma) wear all black, with a black legwarmer and she ROCKED it. They looked like these, only not leather. http://whisty.wordpress.com/20.....-warmers2/

I also “fake” the look of a boot (can’t wear a real boot because of pain) under knee-length skirts with subtle black legwarmers and black ballet flats. http://www.sockdreams.com/_sho.....D_1745.php

Oh yeah, no newsboy hat after 30? Rubbish. I have two, and get complements and “where did you get that?!” every time I wear them.

October 12, 2009 at 7:42 am

Okay, I arrived late to this. Is anybody still reading? If so, I’d like to add a few comments (ok, my opinions really) and questions, please.

Items *not* to be worn:
Holiday-themed garments. Midriff-bearing shirts. Off-the-shoulder t-shirts. Any pants that expose a thong. Gladiator boots. Tops with a keyhole to show cleavage. Skirts with ruffles. Jeans with holes in them. An ensemble that includes more than one item with animal print. Bodysuits. Ponchos.

My *questions* – hopefully somebody can offer some guidance, as these matters have been on my mind lately.

What do you think of the following items in relation to age-appropriateness:
Hoodies. Glitter nail polish or eyeliner. Overalls. Short pleated skirts. Knee socks. Spaghetti strap tank tops with the built-in “bra” lining. Headbands. Chokers. French braids.

Okay, so I guess I have to admit that I wear most of the items in question. Am in my early 30s. Look young though, and am skinny. If shopping in a department store, have to go to the “juniors” section. End up not buying much there because it’s too skanky.

Any advice would be great! Please!

October 20, 2009 at 3:45 pm

Charla Krupp is Back: How to Never Look Fat Again

(website)

[…] I’ll admit it: I bought Charla Krupp’s 2008 bestseller, How Not to Look Old. Having crossed the line into my 40s, suddenly the topic seemed not only relevant but urgent. Now, […]

March 22, 2010 at 1:24 am

CrazyRocker

I think this list is silly, personally. It doesn’t take into account a person’s personal style. But then again, people who write these lists rarely do. They foist off their personal style on others.

Because, personally, I fully intend to steal this look from Johnny Weir with no compunction at all: http://www.sundancechannel.com.....hoto_id=12

Yes. Because I want to. Okay, I already dress like that, without the sparkly. But it’s fun. And I will never outgrow the rocker freak flag. NEVER.

(Guess you all know why I cannot work in corporate America, then…)

March 27, 2010 at 10:18 am

Marlene

What about ruffles??? One line ruffles on a cute plaid dress with puffed sleeves, one ruffled trim around the bottome of the dress? I’m 31.

January 5, 2012 at 11:25 am

Jeannie

Your list is a little bias and sort of funny. I think what a woman wears depends on how she pulls it off and of course the occasion. I am a 53 year old high school teacher. I have always been slim. I still wear juniors and not misses because the latter just hangs on my body. I am not hippy, nor is my figure full. I am 5’8″, and wear clothing that fits but not tightly. I have always been fashionable but never flamboyant. I don’t really think about what to buy or wear on a regular basis; it just happens. I have a classy style. I do not try to look like a teenager. Yet, I wear my clothing well. My students emulate my clothing, hair, and minimal makeup styles, which I find flattering considering my age. I wear jeans, all sorts of boots, semi-short skirts (when I go out-have nice legs), I do not have facial wrinkles, cellulite in my legs, or body fat over the recommended BMI. I like demure but fashionable. No, i do not show my belly or wear clothing up my behind, but I never did.I do wear some other items on your list in a manner which is age-appropriate, classy, and alluring to many. I am tasteful, and a lot of other women are also. I see them daily. Even if a woman has a shape other than slim, many of the items above can be pulled off if the woman knows how to wear them in a flattering way.

January 18, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Nataya

(website)

I am 30 going on 31 soon. I am in restyling my self. Most people think i am between 13 – 20 year old! I find it hard to look more grown up without see my self weird. I have no idea about my face, does it that really looks like teenager. I have flat top and big head. 150 cm height , i mostly have to find clothes in kid department.
I also naturally like kawaii and cute things, helpless.
I don’t agree with some things too. Some of them you have mention, but here with mitten and neon tight, i don’t agree with you. I saw these items could really looks grown up and elegan. Specially mitten, it’s a matter of function and health as well. I have fingers that are easily freezing in winter,so i can’t take mitten out from my wardrobe. It’s much warmer than fingery gloves. There are available in leathers, neutral colors too. I come to think that it really depends on where and when.

January 22, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Nina Riley

(website)

I agree with some of these , but it is possible to wear many of these items and look good at any age, particularly if the person looks a lot younger than they are. So, it depends on the person and is not a matter of one rule for one can apply to another.
Nina

February 5, 2012 at 2:49 am

Leanne

I think most of that is total nonsense. I am so lucky to have moved from the States to the Netherlands recently, where people do not take themselves so seriously and wear all kinds of quirky stuff at any age. They are colorful and fun and so cool riding their bikes everywhere. How narrow-minded to box people in like that!

February 27, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Pamela

I live in Houston and respectfully disagree with Lola on flip flops. There are plenty of cute sandals to wear instead of these nasty shoes during the summer heat. Pool, beach, mental institute, awesome. Anywhere else, gross – women OR men!

Listen sometime when you’re in a mall during the summer when you see lots of these, you’ll notice all the shuffling sounds. There’s no flipping or flopping, just people shuffling around like their all medicated or just too lazy to walk properly.

And personally, I have a weird gross-out reaction to this single strap between between your toes keeping these (sort of on your feet). Can’t explain it but it really bothers me. Lol!

March 29, 2012 at 9:42 am

madamelavertie

In America if you’re female and look like you’re on the wrong side of 30 you are thought to look and be old. Sad but true. Women’s social capital depends almost entirely on how young and pretty they appear. If you look like an old woman and you’re heterosexual few men will give you the time of day either romantically or job-wise in some cases. You will be dismissed, called ma’am, and ridiculed if you try to step o outside of the role society has for you, which typically is a wife, mom or grandmother. It’s mom or young sex kitten. You can never be both. Out of this belief rises the whole age appropriate clothing thing. It’s inappropriate for older women to dress youthfully because they are not supposed to be seeking male attention – they’re supposed to be already married and settled into a family life. If they are not, they are losers spinsters and people feel sorry for them because they are no longer as attractive. Meanwhile, young nymphs are given wide leeway to dress as they please or even as skimpily as possible to please the male gaze.

April 27, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Angie

I think the list is pretty much nonsense. Many things on the list are just things that can be done tacky – and tacky is tacky at any age. Alot of the items can be done tastefully too. Low rider jeans for example, is more a matter of weight than age. Chunky teenagers in low rider jeans look pathetic. Madonna could probably still pull them off.

As for cowboy boots – I know this is contrary to the trend – I think cowboy boots should be reserved for people that actually know which side to mount a horse. Nothing shouts “city swinger” more than cowboy boots and a short skirt or cut offs.

July 23, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Kaye

Mittens? Those are ageless – they are the best way to keep fingers warm (gloves are not as warm as they isolate the fingers). Everyone in my family has mittens regardless of age. And at the 2010 Olympics, the red mittens were the item de jour.

January 11, 2013 at 11:38 pm

jurocha

(website)

Veteran

I am about to turn 30 and to dress age-appropriate is a concern of mine. But I am a pierced gal – multiple, in fact: 3 on ears, 1 on nose and 1 on wrist – and I am not looking forward to toss them overnight. I LOVE piercings, they have a story behind them and if being “classy and elegant” means erasing that story… then I might just stick to being NOT classy.

May 18, 2013 at 1:56 am

Sabine

oops… notices few spelling mistakes… here goes, better version:

Ok, just tumbled across this “old” thread so not sure if anybody is still active on here. Anyway…. Here goes the spanner in the works:

Can I please ask how old are the people who write those age appropriate lists? Because let me tell you, if the majority are in their 20’s, reaching 30’s then that’s awfully disappointing, sad, short sighted, archaic and a very old fashion way to treat women. Wait till you get 40 and feel no different in the way you tackle fashion as you did in your 20’s. If you love to rock stuff because it is part of you are and what rocks your boat then who has the damn right to tell you how not be yourself! So yeah, it might be easy for people in their 20’s to write these kind of lists cause they have no concept of what it’s like to be over 35 nowadays.

Oh and for most of us in their 35 /40’s who are pierced and tattooed and have been for years…. it’s a lifestyle, not a fashion fad, we embrace it and rock it! You will never find such ageism / age fascist attitude in the alternative scene where “age appropriate” is not an issue. Only because people in those scenes have found who they are, their voiced and express it visually. They own it! They own themselves! That’s powerful!

What’s worse, is a 20 something dressing up into something she or he is not just to follow some trends. Believe me that they will look more like a soar thumb in the middle of the room compared to the older individual who has thrown something deemed to be “young” out of instinct and totally owns her or his look. And why, because again, one doesn’t own it, the other does, regardless of their age.

Bottom line is, if you own it at 20, you can own it at 30, 40, 50, 60, 70….until you die and beyond!

It almost feels as if we were being told “Woman, know your place”. And now we have to chain ourselves to age appropriate rules? Have we gone back in time or what! Gosh!

Also, I wonder why the 20 something are so eager to shove us out of the way and consign us in a dos and don’t fashion zone? We are truly the lost generation. Some of us are on a time continuum and are still evolving with technology and fashion that appeared in our youth. We are not wanting or trying to capture our youth, we are just a different breed who has failed to notice the generation gap and are still having fun with it! That’s evolution, not age regression. Why? You tell me…. I am still baffled by some of my peers who are still looking effortlessly cool and youthful. I believe that the notion of “youth culture” will be turned on its head in a couple of decades when the 20’s of now turn 40 and realise. We, the 80’s kids, grunge kids, goth kids, electro kids, first and second wave of club kids are just paving the way for you lot… mark my word!

So please, stop building what could become your cage and the oppressor in the future by laying age appropriate foundation rules. Instead, start working on your confidence now and own yourself. Never stop expressing at will, and “funk” the age fascists!

December 2, 2013 at 12:42 am

Amanda

I am going to be turning 33 this summer and have struggled with where I am for clothing. I have been a stay-at-home mom for the last 8 years and I still wear the clothes that I had just before I got pregnant. I never needed to change them; sweats and t-shirts that are all stretched out faded stained. My kids didn’t care what I wore around the house or to the grocery store and I didn’t either. Now the times have changed and I am a bit frightened! My youngest will be in 1st grade this fall and I will have my bachelor’s degree in business. Now that they are getting out being independent and now that I am going out into the world I have no idea what a woman my age dresses like. I have maybe two suit type of outfits that will get me started at work but the rest of the everyday type of clothes in my closet are from my 20s in the bar! I am married to my size 7/8 even though I am closer to a 10 now but trying to get back to 8! I just feel rather BLAH! I don’t like feeling confined or held down so ive been wearing leggings and tanks with t-shirts and dressy sandals but is that mid-30s?? idk. I want to be comfortable but I also want to look nice. HELP!

April 24, 2014 at 11:49 am

Amanda

Oh yes, as for the list, I have only 1 small ankle tattoo and one solid silver toe ring. Those are the only 2 things that I do or have on that list.

April 24, 2014 at 11:53 am

Alice

(website)

Well, I think Physical exercises are the primary requirements of staying young. But as everyone cannot find the enough time for sporting activities, wearing the fashionable outfits make them look younger. Fashion is what can change the complete personality of the person. Over 30s the body start getting old and that time fashion helps in staying young.

August 25, 2014 at 1:04 am

AMG

Some helpful tips for those of us who are still young at heart and still can pass as being younger than our actual age. Also a good tool to help clean out the closets for sure. I tend to favor the classics which never go out of style anyway. Think Jackie-O, Katherine Hepburn, etc.

December 12, 2014 at 6:15 pm

lisa

Yeah, about the scrunchie thing…my hair is naturally curly and long and scrunchies feel so much more comfortable when Im wearing a ponytail. (a must have at my job). If my hair is pulled back in a “regular” hair band it looks weird too. A skinny little rat tail next to my head going into a huge poof. Mind you I dont wear neon colored or even bright colored scrunchies, that to me IS a dated look. My color of choice is black or beige. So, I dont care what anyone thinks, for me scrunchies are more functional on a comfort level. Thank you.

P.S. this is not for me but my friends who have sacrificed so much to put thier children through college (and some who are THEMSELVES still in college) If they want to wear a sweatshirt/t-shirt of their college of choice what the hell is wrong with that???? not like they’re wearing the cheerleading outfit for godsakes.

February 20, 2015 at 8:21 pm

Jenny Archer

(website)

Dear God, ladies! If you love wearing a certain item of clothing or jewelry, feel good in it, and aren’t trying to look 14, don’t limit yourself because of some list. Especially at the age of 30!! I’m 58, and while I can’t pull off many of the things on this list, and wouldn’t want to try, I have a very bohemian friend in her 50’s, a musician, who wears toe rings, ankle bracelets and many other no-no’s on this list and pulls it off beautifully. It’s not only part of her style, it fits her personality. She looks beautiful, and she wouldn’t be herself if she dressed any other way! Also, in Texas women of all ages wear cowboy boots, colored or otherwise, and it’s very accepted. As for flip flops, where I live, as long as your feet are well cared for and nails manicured, flip flops are fine at any age. What a boring world it would be if when we reach the age of 30, we suddenly have to become completely subdued in appearance, if that doesn’t fit our personalities. Life is short! Wear whatever in the hell makes you happy and who cares what anyone thinks?

April 28, 2016 at 3:04 pm

orchidfae

Active Member

Totally have to disagree on the Multiple Piercings. I turn 40 this year, but have 3 holes on one side, 4 on the other. I usually wear 2 pair at a time, and nothing anymore in my cartilage. Right now I have have 1/2 carat total diamond studs in my first piercings, skipped second, and have white gold mini hoops (8mm) in the third holes. Looks pretty cute and tasteful. I don’t usually put anything in the second holes anymore and ignore them because one is too close to the first.

May 2, 2018 at 11:04 am

Mercedes Sprinter Diesel Repair Near Me

(website)

bookmarked!!, I really like your blog!

May 18, 2022 at 2:54 pm

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