Unsolicited Style Advice

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Angie is co-founder of YLF and its resident fashion stylist.

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Unsolicited Style Advice

— by Angie

on December 29, 2010

I only offer my unsolicited fashion and style advice to two people: darling hubby Greg and my dear sweet Dad. Papa is much relieved that I’ve taken over his wardrobe management, since he loathes shopping and my Mum is not there to do it for him anymore. And Greg appreciates my two cents most of the time – as I appreciate his style advice most of the time! I do not offer unsolicited style advice to anyone else.

When I was discussing this post with Greg, he pointed out that I do offer my opinions to friends, colleagues and family members in ways that are more subtle than direct advice.

First, I reinforce people positively with compliments. For example, if I saw someone wearing a colour that brings out the rose in their cheeks and the sparkle in their eye, I would gush about it to them. Second, I sometimes buy people gifts of apparel and accessories, and implicit in a gift is the message that I think the item will work well on them.

In neither case is this a conscious effort to give style advice, but I guess Greg is right that I am providing a point of view. Perhaps I’m not as restrained as I thought.

What’s your policy on offering unsolicited style advice to others? Care to share a few stories?

Individual Style

47 comments · Add a comment

Cynthia

(website)

I tend to not, other than giving positive comments if I like something. I have a couple of female colleagues who have talked to me from time to time about wanting to improve their style and liking things that I have. I’ve offered to go shopping with them and provide feedback, but have not been taken up on it yet.

December 29, 2010 at 5:11 am

Laura

(website)

Veteran

I can imagine you using positive reinforcement to gently guide people in a direction – it’s hard not to want to help when you’re passionate about style!

December 29, 2010 at 5:38 am

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

Veteran

Definitely give advice (criticism and compliments) to my husband, although he is pretty good at dressing himself!

I do always compliment people when they are wearing an item of clothing or colour that really suits them and I do buy clothing and accessories as gifts for friends and family.

I will also tell people if I see something in a shop or online that I think they would suit.

Although, this advice implicit or otherwise is probably totally different coming from a lay-person rather than a professional stylist!

December 29, 2010 at 5:58 am

Sihaya

Veteran

I provided unsolicited advice to my husband and kids. Other than that, no – whether it’s style or anything else. I do compliment people to positively reinforce things whether its style or various aspects of behavior. As an expert to whom people look for guidance on how they show up as leaders, I do find that there are many people who would like me to pronounce judgment/feedback/advice whenever I see them. I still don’t do this unsolicited. However, if someone has stated that that’s what they’d like in our relationship, I am happy to ask them if they’re open to feedback that day and provide it to them if I notice something. One point of clarification though, I almost never provide advice – whether solicited or unsolicited. I provide feedback. Might be mincing words but in my profession its an important distinction.

December 29, 2010 at 6:02 am

Kari

Veteran

I guess it depends on where you draw the line between advice or feedback, like Sihaya mentioned. I often complement even acquaintances on a new haircut, or an item that really looks great and suits their style. A few weeks ago I saw a perfect stranger at the mall who had an absolutely fantastic haircut and stopped to tell her how much I loved it – I actually wished I had asked her if I could snap a photo of it on my phone to take it to *my* stylist, but felt too silly and stalker-ish to do so even though she was very friendly & receptive to my compliment.
I’ll sometimes give unsolicited advice to my parents (my mom is my most trusted shopping buddy, so I greatly value her advice too) and sometimes to my boyfriend, but only to others if they ask for it or if it comes up during the course of a conversation (for example, if someone asks where I got a certain item, I might recommend certain stores or brands that really worked out for me.)
If I’m shopping with a friend (which I don’t do very often), we’re usually very open to advice and feedback to one another.

December 29, 2010 at 6:43 am

Lori

(website)

Active Member

I try really, really hard to not offer any unsolicited advice on anything. I have a male coworker who feels it necessary to review my outfit, my hair, everything really, almost daily and offer advice as to how he would change it up a bit – and not in a good way. Because I could easily live without his advice I am more aware of not offering my own – however, I do complement freely.

December 29, 2010 at 7:08 am

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

And this is why your compliments mean so much, Angie.
I learned a short while ago not to offer advice unless asked. Many people ask me how I’ve lost 70+ pounds and I’d take the time to spell it out and give them resources, etc, just to have them say “Oh I can’t do that”.
So I’ve learned that if people really want help, whether with health or fashion, they will come to me, ask, and show an effort to make a change. Only then will I invest time and energy. I hope that doesn’t sound selfish, though!
My mom and one sister have given me a free pass to comment on anything and everything. We have a lot of fun together and they certainly help me in other ways.
I also think credentials has a lot to do with comments. Angie, if you told me something wasn’t flattering I’d believe it and make changes. But if a stranger on the street would, I’d probably get hurt feelings.

December 29, 2010 at 7:27 am

taylor

Veteran

I love how you can gently nudge someone in a fashion direction with a special gift

I don’t ever offer advice unless asked when it comes to fashion.
I don’t offer unsolicited advice when it comes to hair either, but I surely bite my tongue alot when I see someone who could use it

December 29, 2010 at 7:46 am

DanaLynn

Someones personal idea of style and beauty can be so different from my own, so I rarely give style advice or feedback. Like many of the readers, I compliment anyone that I see rocking something fabulous. I never hesitate to stop complete strangers to tell them that they look amazing. I’ve done it for years and have always gotten wonderful responses from people. They seem to shine just a little bit more afterwards.

On the flip side, I often receive unsolicited advice because of my size. I am short and pear shaped, but I am reluctant to follow “fashion rules” about how to elongate my body and “dress for my size”. I like how skinny jeans and boots look- so I wear them! I like sweater dresses and leggings- so I wear them! Some people have a hard time seeing confident fat bodies and feel the need to tell me that I should stick to my bootcut jeans, and boy friend cardigans- “they make you look so slim!”. There’s more to life than looking slim!

Some of these comments come from snarky people who have their own body issues to deal with. And I know that some of these comments are made out of love; family and friends who want to protect me from the world. Most the time though, I’m not the one who needs protecting. I try to take the comments in stride but it can be frustrating and hurtful. With that in mind- I never give any unsolicited advice. That’s their body and they have every right to dress it how the please, without my two cents.

Sorry- that was a little bit of a rant!

December 29, 2010 at 7:52 am

Debbie

Veteran

I am guilty not for offering advice but for nudging with gifts. My youngest sister mentioned that she really needs to update her work wardrobe so for her birthday I gave her a new sweater in a color that I thought would flatter her. For Christmas I gave her a scarf that I thought would help her update a few items she already has. She appeared pleased with both so hopefully she will enjoy them.
I love giving compliment on things I see that look wonderful on people.

December 29, 2010 at 8:28 am

bj1111

Veteran

angie,

your silence speaks volumes on ylf…i think most regular participants have picked up on that.

i tend to encourage with positive comments, except for my mother, with whom i’m more unrestrained. but mothers and daughters…complicated.

December 29, 2010 at 8:43 am

Kate

Veteran

I just usually only give unsolicited advice to my boyfriend and sister.

However, I do give strategic comments, and if a topic comes up I will share some wisdom. Examples of this from the last couple months include suggesting someone look on zappos and endless after they mentioned having trouble boot shopping, and extolling the virtues of a correctly fitted bra, particularly having a small enough band size, after a friend mentioned to a group that she had her first bra fitting ever and loved it.

December 29, 2010 at 8:46 am

rute

Veteran

Only to closed family member or very closed friends!

December 29, 2010 at 8:53 am

(website)

Veteran

I have given gifts as a nudge to my mother. She talks about wanting to dress better but never actually gets around to doing it! She watches WNTW but still wears what she shouldn’t lol. She hates to shop and so most of her stuff that works on her comes as a gift from either me or my SIL.
I also have one coworker back in CA that always wears black. Now, it’s a restaurant and one does get messy. But she looks beautiful in the colors she does wear outside of work. I tell her all the time she needs to wear color. She is thick skinned and dishes it out as much as she can take it, so I don’t feel awkward telling her this.
Other than those two people, I do not offer advice but will compliment when someone looks nice.

December 29, 2010 at 8:56 am

elpgal

I used to dislike being the giver/recipient of style (or any other) advice but there have been several instances where unsolicited feedback/advice from people I respect has boosted my self-confidence and given me the ‘permission’ to make changes or think about things in a different way. I would not discount the value of unsolicited advice.

December 29, 2010 at 9:12 am

Kyrania

Active Member

I only offer style advise to my husband. I wouldn’t even think about offering it to anyone else….I LOVE seeing all the different and unique ways people dress. Seeing so much diversity in style is AWESOME inspiration for me. When people comment on how large women shouldn’t wear tight clothing, I’m thinking how great it is that a woman can celebrate and appreciate her body.

I DO like when people suggest style advise to me…I get to try things that would have never crossed my mind and besides, I alone have the power to buy and wear what ever I choose….it’s advise…so I can take it or leave it.

I DID try a sheath dress…read and saw a lot of them here but NEVER EVER thought I could wear one well, not until a friend offered her advise. I tried it and LOVED it so much that I bought two sheath style dresses….they are kinda dramatic, too..red and black jacquard! YUM!

December 29, 2010 at 9:32 am

SusanH

I try hard not to give unsolicited advice on style, because I really don’t think it’s my business how anyone else is dressed. But I find that because my friends and family know that I like clothes, they often start clothes-related conversations with me, talking about their own clothing selections, and I feel like I sometimes let those conversations slide into me giving advice which they may or may not really want. I still haven’t figured out how to best navigate those conversations…

December 29, 2010 at 9:34 am

Cecilia

I have usually gone by the “if you don’t have something nice to say” school of though, except where my husband is concerned… personally, I feel that people should do this, unless you directly ask them for their honest opinion…I think that your subtlety is appreciated, but also, you being a professional in the field and stylish to boot, I’m sure your subconscious intentions are appreciated. I take medical advice from my doctor more seriously than medical advice from my in-laws, for example.

December 29, 2010 at 9:38 am

crazyone

Veteran

I do unsolicitedly give the “hey, you should pull your shirt down, your underwear is showing as you walk” type of “advice” to my friends, because I think they’d prefer to be told that so they can fix it ASAP (this wasn’t a friend who wants to be an exhibitionist, she’s very modest…her pants were just too loose around the waist and her shirt was riding up), but never real style advice.

December 29, 2010 at 9:46 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thanks, Sarah

Sihaya, good point. Perhaps you can state the difference between advice and feedback – both of which can be positive and negative it seems.

bj1111, you had me chuckling about the complicated mother and daughter relationship. And how true that someone’s silence can speak volumes – whether its by accident or deliberate.

Elpgal, that’s an out of the box perspective and I like it.

December 29, 2010 at 10:54 am

Maya

Veteran

I guess it depends on what you consider “advice.” I don’t consider compliments advice.

I give advice to my mom and occasionally my brother because they both care how they present themselves and I am close enough with them to feel comfortable offering my $0.02. My dad doesn’t care about fashion (and is actually rather hostile towards it), so there is just no point. However, I draw the line at things like jeans with holes in them. That’s not style advice so much as basic decency advice…

My dad is currently going through a Canadian tuxedo phase. Yesterday he wore a light wash denim shirt with light wash jeans (that are at least a size too big, of course). The day before, it was a dark wash denim shirt with dark wash jeans (again, too big). You have no idea how hard it is for me to bite my tongue.

December 29, 2010 at 10:55 am

slythwolf

(website)

I try not to offer unsolicited advice to anyone about anyone. I was taught that it was rude. A compliment is by definition not advice.

December 29, 2010 at 11:03 am

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Outside of my immediate family, I try not to give unsolicited style advice. I do try to give compliments, but I try to leave it at that unless asked.

December 29, 2010 at 11:37 am

Sihaya

Veteran

To me the difference between advice and feedback:
– Advice is telling someone what they should or should not do/wear/say. Advice is giving them my solution to whatever I believe is wrong or whatever opportunity is left unexplored. Advice can come across as The Truth and the only way to do something when someone is especially attached to their piece of advice.
– Feedback is reflecting back to someone what I see from my perspective. Owning it as my and only my perspective. Which is true and valid for me but not neccessarily true for the other person. Feedback is my perception. I provide it when asked for as it might be helpful for the other person to hear how they’re perceived (it certainly is for me).

does that make sense Angie?

As examples: Advice in my field of work (something I wouldn’t do): You should show more respect to those around you. You need to spend more time listening to other people before making a decision. Feedback: When I saw you in a meeting (as I was observing them as their coach) with 5 other people and you made a decision after the first 2 people weighed in on their perspective, it made me wonder what the impact was on the other 3 people in the room especially since you had opened the meeting saying you wanted to hear from everyone.

Personally, I find unsolicited advice to often be off putting and feedback, even sometimes unsolicited to often being helpful even when it might sometimes be painful to hear. Someone’s perspective is just their perspective, there is no right or wrong. I can then choose to accept it or reject it or do something in between with it considering the source, history, context, and frequency of that feedback.

However, there are skilful and unskillful ways to deliver both. So my comments are assuming both are done in skillful ways.

December 29, 2010 at 12:22 pm

klauren

Active Member

Unsolicited, no, compliments, yes! My husband cringes sometimes because I do tell people, both men and women, that they look great, or great haircut, wonderful shoes, etc. But so far I’ve yet to have someone not smile and say thanks when they are told “wow, you look so put together” or some such compliment. I always like it when I’m complimented, so I think others like it too!

I do, however, give advice to friends and associates, but when they ask. And I guess I’m a “nudger” as well, as I’ve given gifts, pictures, websites, mentioned something about something I’ve seen, etc.

And on my birthday, I asked my husband for a shopping trip, for him, so I could help him pick out a few things. He doesn’t really care that much about what he wears, and often wears things until they’re very worn looking. So this trip was for him to get a few items that he could be (read: I could be) proud wearing to casual meetings and local get togethers. He was very happy to go, and said he’d like me to dress him more often.

December 29, 2010 at 1:07 pm

Irene

Veteran

I do compliment people sometimes, when I like what they’re wearing and stuff. And of course if a friend asks me to give her my opinion on an item -which happens quite often, eventhough my friends have a really different sense of style, so it’s a bit awkward-, I do so and quite happily. I hope I don’t do it without being asked to, though. Because I have been offered ‘advice’ and didn’t like it.
Last year I was actually almost critized for my style because it wasn’t cool/fashionable/modern/cheeky/whatever enough and of course with my ‘oh-so-great’ body I had to show it off like everyday by wearing superminiskirts and tight tops with low necklines. And I was told that by both men (!) and women whose style I didn’t like. Surprisingly enough, I never told them what I thought about THEIR style though now I think I should have.

December 29, 2010 at 1:22 pm

san

I know that I should and would not offer unsolicted advice, but I will say only to someone very close, that something would look great on them. I also offer tid bits that Angie has given us.

Angie you are free to give me unsolicited advice anytime!

I noticed you are very sweet with your compliments and reinforcement when something is right. Thank you!

December 29, 2010 at 1:37 pm

kavi

Active Member

I am guilty of giving unsolicited style advice to my dear hubby. Poor thing, I think I can be rather tough on him (I’m sorry – but tapered black jeans do NOT look good on anyone! How do you say that nicely?! :-)) I have been working on my delivery and tone for quite a while, but no matter how I say/suggest something, he still kind of rolls his eyes, though typically he does end up changing. He will occasionally ask me how something looks as he’s trying it on, and has also recently asked me to go shopping with him – he probably thinks including me is the path to peace, but oh how I treasure those moments and hope that it’s actually about him valuing my style advice!

And now that he gets our son ready for pre-school, I am trying really hard not to extend my style advice there. I just try and leave the pants and shirts that go together at the most obvious points in the drawer where he and/or my son will grab them, and cross my fingers!

December 29, 2010 at 1:40 pm

yublocka

(website)

Veteran

Compliments yes, advice know. Except when it comes to my immediate family. Seems to be a fairly popular stance on this issue.

December 29, 2010 at 2:20 pm

jesse.anne.o

(website)

I try not to offer unsolicited advice. There are all realms of personal style out there and there are many style advisors whose advise I could care less for (present company excluded!). If a friend or blogger asks for an opinion about something, that’s another issue. And I try to make it clear I’m coming from my perspective about the item in question. I have verbally nixed a few items during shopping trips that my friends have gone on to purchase and love – despite my issues with their fit. And they’re happy – so that’s what matters. Not what I think of it. We’re all adults and we all have mirrors – and sometimes we are willing to look at things from different perspectives, at different times. (i.e. I could wear skinny jeans and feel great for 2 years before I realize they don’t work on me but no amount of direct or subtle guidance up to my epiphany moment is going to be helpful.)

And I dislike giving or getting clothing/accessory gifts to/from people. Personal style is incredibly personal and unless one sees someone admiring something or gives with a gift receipt, there’s always the issue of the gift becoming an “obligation” to give lip service to, keep and wear. (Honestly I just dump them at a resale shop or pass them off to someone else immediately if it’s not something I like but I know sometimes others don’t feel so empowered due to politeness.) Every once in a while the stars align though.

I think positive comments on blogs and directly to people are great. But I also have observed what I like to call “leading positive comments” – comments that positively reinforce or encourage something that’s posted or worn, especially if it’s atypical for the wearer and typical for the commenter. And if you know who the commenter is/know what they “advise” stylistically, this practice becomes pretty apparent and blurs the line between an actual compliment and encouragement and advise. I may be hypersensitive to it because I would never want to dress like some of the folks I’ve seen “encourage”.

I am more than happy to give and receive genuine compliments though!

December 29, 2010 at 2:28 pm

Joy

Veteran

I stick to compliments and feel uneasy when asked for fashion advice. Most often this happens with a friend when shopping who has a body issue that I don’t feel qualified to address (like not overweight and slim looking from the side, but very wide flat hips in proportion to the rest from the front and back. How does one dress this type?) However, if I don’t feel an outfit they’ve tried on in a shop is flattering, I’ll say that I think they can find something better. I don’t mind receiving unsolicited style advice but it hardly ever happens. I’m also guilty of giving gifts of clothing that I think will be flattering.
Angie, your post is an excellent tutorial on how to give advice gently. Thank you for the ideas.

December 29, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Lisa

Veteran

I give compliments freely to anyone if I like something. If it’s someone I know well I would give unsolicited advice. Otherwise I don’t say anything. I figure my lack of compliment is enough to show I don’t care for something or just don’t’ think it’s special enough to draw attention by commenting on it.

December 29, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Melody

Active Member

I have once initiated a conversation with a poor woman in a professional position who consistently wore too-short pants. I just said something to the effect that *I* have such a hard time finding pants that are long enough and mentioned some stores that carry long lenghts and said that I often have to resort to ordering on-line. I was hoping she’d pick up on the hint, but she said she didn’t have that problem, no so dice. I’ve not done anything like that before or since, but it really drove me crazy.

December 29, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Melllllls

Unsolicited advice is limited to my husband and maybe, just maybe, my parents. I try to be generous with compliments though, though I see how that can be a form of stating an opinion with respect to someone’s style. I also give style-related gifts…my sister received a wallet and a wristlet this year from me and my husband received a belt, shirt, tie, and cufflinks. There really is no way to give an apparel without an implicit message about style.

I had a coworker once who very frequently complimented my clothes; so often that it was noticable when she didn’t. I always wondered if I should read anything into that

December 29, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Bianca

Veteran

Hi Angie, I think this post relates to one of the threads I started on 12/23. I do not offer advice, rather feedback as some described in most cases. There are loved ones who I would love to makeover, but as we all know, it is not in my place to do so. If people need help and like my style, they can always ask me for help if they choose. When it comes to my husband’s wardrobe I tend to offer unsolicited advice (typical wife right?), and he also asks for my help pairing things. Also my sister and I always provide continual feedback to one another since we both love fashion and its always sisterly love at the end of the day. Otherwise I keep my lips sealed.

December 29, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Sihaya, thanks for chiming back in! I guess complimenting someone is feedback – right?

December 29, 2010 at 6:09 pm

Loves Moose

Hmmm … it really depends on context. For example I wouldn’t comment to a coworker that her outfit is too matchy-matchy and could use some additional colors, but if I’m watching a friend get ready for a date, I wouldn’t have any problem suggesting different options. Also, on a website like this one, we’re here to encourage and support each other. I’m very unlikely to offer feedback or advice when someone posts photos of outfits they clearly love and just want to share this with us. But I don’t think it would be inappropriate should someone kindly make a comment that they prefer one outfit over the other. That would be a polite way of drawing attention to something that could be improved without being negative or hurtful. :o)

December 29, 2010 at 6:57 pm

Loves Moose

Sorry about that strange smiley face in my last comment.

December 29, 2010 at 7:04 pm

mumtojessandluke

I don’t really advise people what to wear, but compliment them when they look great- often saying little when it doesn’t but offering a compliment in a way. For example, if a dress isn’t as flattering as it might otherwise be but is cotton, cool and comfortable I pick out those aspects if I’m asked directly.

I think the key word here is ADVICE. I once had a sales assistant help me so much I loved it and wanted to go back for more & more! She showed me colors and fabrics that could work together, and gave me things to try on. God bless her I don’t think she really knew how much that helped my self confidence during a bit of a rough patch in my working life. That is advise, it is asked for and acted on in a positive constructive way :). Still happy about that day Wish I had someone like that working in retail to go to now.

Advise shouldn’t be negative or destructive Eg, “That really looks wrong on you!!” Or “Geeze that top makes you look a little pregnant”. Offering no solutions to the problem.

I did have a leggings as pants discussion with a friend, who brought leggings a little while after. She asked me what I thought the other day. And I said, yep that is the way you wear them (tunic over leggings) and as long as your butt is covered you should be fine! LOL. I think she felt a little more confident after that.

At the moment- I really need sown to earth advise. Tell me if it’s wrong for me, suggest an alternative and help me make good decisions – just like that lovely shop assistant did.

December 29, 2010 at 7:22 pm

Loves Moose

One more thing …

Today I’ve noticed advertisements on this website by a company called Telegaleria.com (Google ads). They advertise pretty extreme body-shaping jeans and undergarments, which makes me feel rather sad because they kind of represent this notion that women should sacrifice comfort in the name of fashion.

Women shouldn’t feel that they have to wrap cellophane around their bodies in order to make a jacket look better, or an uncomfortable belt around a shirt to give them a waistline. My hope is that any feedback I offer to others really lifts them up and provides them with insight and inspiration. These ads can be very negative and influence not just how we think about our bodies, but how others react to our bodies, too. That’s why it’s important that we try to identify someone’s personal preferences when offering suggestions, so that we don’t attempt to lump sum them into mainstream ideas on how women should look.

December 29, 2010 at 7:50 pm

Lena

I don’t offer unsolicited advice to anyone, and frankly have a hard time giving solicited advice about fashion. I frequently use positive reinforcement (which I guess can be a type of feedback) and I’m usually not shy about it.

Sometimes I really have to bite my tongue though. Recently somebody I know noted how she needs to dress in a more mature way (that great thorny topic about age and dressing), and I wanted to comment that she doesn’t need to worry about dressing too young and doesn’t need to restrict herself too much (she works in a creative field), but I felt very unqualified to do so. Bummer. I wish Angie were around at that moment.

Sihaya makes a very good point about feedback and advice.

Melody, that’s a clever way to bring up the pant length issue. I should try it sometime, hehee

December 29, 2010 at 8:47 pm

Lynne

Veteran

this post makes me think of some of the older people in my life – my late DD and a former boyfriends mum who were both VERY generous with their opinions. I always put it down to being older and less inhibited? My former boyfriends mum used to burst with excitement giving me ‘5 oranges a day’ diet plans that she’d ripped out of magazines for me :D. Wonder whose MIL she is now? If you’re out there I feel your pain..

December 30, 2010 at 12:15 am

Sihaya

Veteran

Angie, yes compliments would be generally fall in the category of feedback.

December 30, 2010 at 8:45 am

Tanya

Veteran

I try very hard not to offer any unsolicited advices and manage most of the time, although it is hard in my environment. In also offer a lot of compliments and subtle encouragements; which sometimes lead to being asked to help with shopping for the right items

December 30, 2010 at 10:23 am

Bianca

Veteran

Compliments do count! :0)

December 30, 2010 at 9:00 pm

Joless

I try and give compliments when something looks great on friends or aquaintences and I’d love to have the confidence to compliment strangers too!

I don’t give advice because I don’t know enough myself to do so, but I do tell my partner when there is no way she should go out dressed in that combination! Other than that, she doesn’t really mind what she wears so there is no point.

I love it when people offer me (useful and friendly) advice as I feel shy asking. My GF’s SIL gives me presents of bags/jewellery/make up (I did ask for this type of stuff) and I love it as I trust her sense of style and I have no idea where to start myself. I would love to ask her to go shopping with me, but I’m still shy and also broke!

January 5, 2011 at 1:27 am

Cynthia

I give advice periodically to my husband when he asks me for it. My teen age son is another matter. . . pants on the ground, etc. I only compliment people at work if I like their outfits or hair. I really like it when people say nice things to me but if someone does not have a positive personality and a negative bent, then I feel it’s in everyone’s best interest to keep negative comments to oneself. Encouragement is always good but many people are not tactful and their communication skills lack. I am sensitive to that type of thing. . . I watch shows on TV that dwell on the negative to get to the bottom of people’s style and wardrobes, but that is because the hosts of the show are experts and the person being “criticized” is like a client who wanted the help. I always hope that the person who is getting the make-over is petite like I am and similar in build, so that I could gain some wisdom on what direction to go as well, but usually the person is much taller, bigger build, etc.

February 7, 2011 at 8:57 am

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