Cleavage: how much is too much?

Someone

I’m with you Angie. Context is VERY important, first of all. Cleavage at a cocktail party is an extremely different animal from cleavage at the office (which I also consider inappropriate).

I am a busty yet petite gal (ok, 34F) and I feel that as women, the LAST thing we need is to play along with society’s insistence at judging us on body before anything else. I am MORE than my body and I’m not trading on it. Pay attention to who I am and what I can do – my boobs are irrelevant to my skill set.

April 10, 2009 at 6:53 am

RebeccaD

I am 100% behind you on the cleavage in the workplace issue. I hate it. I am a straight woman and when it’s happening in a meeting, all I can do is stare. What is happening to the guys? It’s inappropriate, pure and simple. And I would go so far as to say, that unless you own the company, it’s inappropriate at work parties, too.

April 10, 2009 at 6:57 am

Bitsy

(website)

I am not particularly busty (somewhere in the 34B/C department), but my cleavage has always been one of my best assets. As a result, I usually show it off (tastefully, of course!) if the opportunity presents itself. I don’t tend to flash cleavage if I’m running errands or taking my child to her playgroup (LOL), but I do show some if Honey and I are headed out to a nice dinner, or we’re going to a cocktail party, or something like that.

I just realized that my environment affects my boob-show, too. If I’m vacationing on the beach, for example, I’ll show more cleavage than I would normally in such a casual setting. Maybe because even a bunch of cleavage still seems ok when compared to everyone else is running around in a skimpy bikini!

April 10, 2009 at 6:58 am

Tanya

I also agree with you Angie, especially on no cleavage in work place. I am fairly small chested (32C), but I wear a cami under pretty much anything at work that’s not a high neckline.

As for outside work, it depends on situation. I love deeper V-s and can get away with them beacuse of my small size. But I will wear them ( and similar stuff) only for date nights with BF. For daily situations, such as shopping, meeting friends etc. I’ll still wear my camis. As for parties, I will show a tiny bit of cleavage only if there are no coworkers ( neither mine nor my BFs) nor family members present.

April 10, 2009 at 7:04 am

shiny

When I was younger, I didn’t mind showing a bit of cleavage. (I’m also 34B). Yes, even sometimes at the office. We’re talking just a bit, very subtle. V-necklines always work great because they elongate my short neck.

I also had no clue that there was a simple fix to make a too-low top work for me (an unfortunate reality for those of us who are petite, and not only petite, but shortest from neck to top of bra line). This may sound silly, but it wasn’t until finding YLF that I learned the secret of putting a cami underneath a v-neck! Duh.

However! Since hitting my 40s, I am craving higher necklines, even if they make my neck look shorter. But the reason actually has less to do with modesty. It’s the reality of all those years wearing V-neck tops without suncreen. The skin on my chest is just not that great to look at. (I religiously wore sunscreen on my face, but often skipped the chest for fear of ruining my clothing with it).

But, Heck, I think that a form-fitting turtleneck can be alluring on a busty girl… so what’s the problem with a tiny bit of cleavage? As for men in the workplace, if we all wore Burkas they’d be leering about our eyes.

April 10, 2009 at 7:08 am

Mary

As the mom of a boy who is quickly approaching his teens and as the sister of a teenage boy, I feel increasingly more uncomfortable at the sight of cleavage. I know Americans have a much different mindset about breasts than most of the world, but when I see these young boys and their instinctual response, I think it’s more than just culture.

I’m with you, Angie, on the no-cleavage-at-work issue. And I think that outside of work, whether or not there will be kids present should also be taken into consideration.

April 10, 2009 at 7:19 am

Sarah

I have always had a personal rule of no cleavage in the work place. It’s challenging because I am busty. I feel slightly conflicted because I definitely prefer v-necks or scoop necks with my body type. If I wear crew necks it looks like my boobs start at my neck.
Even with a cami, a peek of cleavage can show once in awhile. I do my best to keep it in check though.
For situations outside of work, I do show a bit more cleavage, but not necessarily intentionally. I think that for cocktail parties and the occasional sundress, a bit more cleavage isn’t too bad if done tastefully.

April 10, 2009 at 7:20 am

Linda

As a moderately busty gal who looks best with some upper chest skin exposed, I am loving this rule about “As long as you’re wearing a camisole, you’re fine, because we’ll know YOU TRIED.”

That’s just what I’m wearing today–too-low wrap V-neck over a camisole that maybe doesn’t QUITE cover up EVERYTHING. Like, there’s a slight shadow of cleavage. Even though I consider myself fairly modest and feel absolutely naked showing REAL cleavage (I saw a woman the other day who had a tattoo in hers! Like a lizard crawling out from between her boobs!), I feel fine with this, and the men in my office seem to be resisting me, LOL.

April 10, 2009 at 7:41 am

Rose

I pretty much have to comment on this, as by know I am probably getting a rep on this site as one of the busty gals. Secondly, I am a scientist and have struggled for years to figure out how to work with my curves- rather than against them and end up looking frumpy. First off, I agree with this post.
I guess I feel that there is much negativity about cleavage in the workplace (and outside of it) because it often isn’t done well– and I’ll throw out my hypothesis that the reason it isn’t often done well is that many of us busty ladies struggle with finding tops that fit -everywhere. Few people look classy and polished in a top that doesn’t fit right!!

April 10, 2009 at 7:48 am

tassajara

Argh… had a long answer but in essence:

I think this topic boils down to whether it is appropriate to wear anything that could be interpreted as sexy in the workplace. Personally I think that as long as cleavage is done in a classy and tasteful manner, it is okay to show some cleavage in the workplace. I don’t see cleavage on other women as something that is distracting but that could be a result of being European and having different personal norms and values from American culture.

April 10, 2009 at 7:53 am

Meredith

I think one has to be very discerning about where and when to show cleavage (definitely not in the work place or at a work-related function).

However, I wish that I had taken the opportunity to wear a dress with a plunging neckline at least once before breast feeding completed altered my decolletage. Now I can’t even think about going outside without lots of support, layers, and cantilevers.

If you have beautiful cleavage, and the time and place is right, by all means celebrate your gorgeous feminine form!

April 10, 2009 at 7:55 am

Rose

ps. I would like to hear some European views on this– I found it so refreshing that people in Europe didn’t seem to care about boobs like we do here in the US.

April 10, 2009 at 7:56 am

Joy

Even as a small busted woman I’ve learned the hard way that tops gape when you lean over and a cami is your friend. In fact I’d love to find camies or tanks that hit higher on the chest. Away from the workplace I feel modesty is most essential when around children and teenagers, as Mary pointed out.

April 10, 2009 at 8:05 am

Real Style Real People

(website)

I have a friend who really needs help in this area- and to make it worse she is blond and gorgeous- but showing too much cleavage brings the wrong kind of attention to her!

April 10, 2009 at 8:05 am

Shana

As a well endowed woman, I always struggled with staying modest in the workplace. Finding a good fit when you are busty (especially in wovens) is hard enough but then add in the complication of being petite as well and forget it! My solution was to stick to higher necklines and crew neck knits even though it was not the most flattering look for me. But I have to admit, wearing tight, clingy knits is just as “alluring” really. I am also one who never even thought about wearing a cami under more revealing tops until I found ylf! Duh!

April 10, 2009 at 8:08 am

L

I have recently started to wear camis and higher necklines– I think more due to age than anything (35 now).
What about cleavage in swimming suits? With all my body challenges involved in wearing a swimsuit– cleavage is about my only asset! Last year I got a one piece miraclesuit with a pretty low cut neckline–much lower than I would ever wear in a shirt or dress. Looks pretty good, but sometimes I wonder about how appropriate it is, not that swimming attire is usually appropriate.

April 10, 2009 at 8:13 am

Sal

(website)

As someone who will absolutely never achieve cleavage, I am loathe to weigh in … but I must agree that, for those who cleave, keeping it modest at work is a good plan.

April 10, 2009 at 8:13 am

m

i wish there were more options for higher necklines. i love teh A-line dresses at ann taylor for example, but i would show cleavage in almost all of them. even camisoles are frequently so low cut that their function as cleavage cover-ups is rendered useless!

April 10, 2009 at 8:29 am

Eva

I asked a similar question on the blog about a year ago. It will be interesting to see the difference in responses. In the responses a year ago, age played a big factor in the responses. In general, younger women (I think in their 20’s) felt they could wear what they want because it is their mind that counted. Older women who experienced more gender discrimination (my category) felt their mind that should bewhat mattered, but felt that regardless of what is in your head, you are still judged by what you look like.

I am in full agreement with Angie not to show cleavage at work. I am not busty (32B or C) so this is pretty easy for me. There are times, though that camisoles still show cleavage. I like the camis with lace that provide more coverage. Outside of work is another story. Here I think it depends on where you are going – the family Easter party or out dancing.

April 10, 2009 at 8:34 am

Abbie

I like the point that tassajara makes above- that anything too sexy is not just not appropriate for the workplace. One could argue that skyscraper heels are not work-appropriate, for that matter, and in many cases they hamper the work skills of the wearer.

This makes it not about the body of the person, but about the intent of the person.

My question about cleavage is, “what is cleavage?” I am busty, but I wear camisoles under everything low-cut. I can’t see much cleavage in the mirror, but I’m going to show something if I bend over or if someone tall is standing next to me. Is cleavage just a “I know it when I see it” thing? Or can someone explain an actual hard and fast rule about this?

April 10, 2009 at 8:41 am

Danja

(website)

What a lively discussion! I have to agree with a “no cleavage at work” because it does attract the wrong kind of attention, unless that is exactly the attention you are going for. I remember this one woman, who was quite busty, wearing fitted knit shirts to work with a paper thin bra. The anatomy was so obvious that the guys at work were joking about it openly. As for the cleavage outside of the work, I don’t really have a preference although the setting should be a good guide. Now with swimming suites, I don’t think you need to worry about cleavage as long as the suit fits you well. It’s the nature of the swimming suit.

April 10, 2009 at 8:56 am

Christine

I fall on the busty (32F) petite side, and cleavage is always a struggle for me. I have no desire to show cleavage, but it’s nearly impossible not to, at least a bit, without wearing a turtleneck, which is not particularly flattering. I wear a cami every day, and I try to wear structured jackets at work, and I figure that’s good enough. I’m sure that if I bend over (which I try to avoid at all costs), some cleavage shows.

When I was a teenager, I was really embarrassed about my chest, and I spent about mnay years wearing clothes that were too big in an attempt to not emphasize my chest. Of course, that just made me look bigger all over. It’s a fine balance.

April 10, 2009 at 9:21 am

Ana

I definitely agree with minimizing cleavage at work. As far as the “how much cleavage is too much?” question is concerned, I think it’s hard to prescribe a set amount, and everyone is absolutely right, it varies with the situation. I kind of just follow the mantra, “I can’t tell you how much is too much, but I know it when I see it.”

April 10, 2009 at 9:32 am

Patience

I’m with Angie and Ana on this one too– generally I’m pretty conservative but if it looks classy I don’t see any reason not to wear cleavage with confidence. Rose’s point that good fit is essential is a great one. Penelope Cruz is someone who I think wears a bit of cleavage very well. Although I remember seeing her on the Tonight Show a few years back and some stylist had apparently unbuttoned her shirt way too low because she was clearly uncomfortable with it.

For my personal case, I am also a smaller size and nursing has flattened me out as well. I find that more than cleavage, I like to show off my sternum with a deeper v. I suppose this fits my personal style and body type better.

April 10, 2009 at 9:53 am

Violet

I definitely agree with the no cleavage at the workplace. I am a 32D, so lower necklines are more flattering on me, but I always wear camis.

Outside of work, I’m not really comfortable with cleavage either so I continue to wear camis. The only difference with the way I dress outside of work is that I’ll wear sleeveless shirts or tank tops that show my shoulders.

April 10, 2009 at 10:07 am

HannahC

Oh, Angie, it is easy for you to say “no cleavage at work” … Even when wearing a cami, I still show some cleavage (I am size 32H). And I am 100% sure that if I bend over (which I try to avoid), quite a lot of cleavage is visible. What can I do? Believe me, there is absolutely no way to hide my bust, short of wearing a sack.

I stick to wearing bras that separate my boobs, and wrap tops and dresses (which also aid in separation), so the silhouette becomes somewhat reasonable. And no lace in the bust area whatsoever, because it gives me very inappropriate “bouoir” connotations. Even so, I am fully aware that the first thing people notice about me is the size of my bust. It has always been like that. It becomes easier with age though, because a 36-years old woman is considered less sexy than a 18-years old girl (and this is such a relief!).

April 10, 2009 at 10:14 am

lori

i just want to say that, big busted or small, i would really rather not see anyone’s breasts unless i’m in Tahiti at the beach. Bend over in a mirror before walking out the door and check it out. IF you can see too much, than go put something else on! This is what i tell my high school friends who can’t seem to figure it out!

April 10, 2009 at 10:19 am

shiny

Been thinking about this topic some more. In all my cami-clueless years wearing V- and scoop neck tops that showed a hint of cleavage, I can only remember ONE instance at work where I received unwanted attention.

It was when I was in my early 20s. I was wearing a silk blouse buttoned all the way to the top, with a pin at the top (this was how it was done in the late 80s!). With a suit jacket over it, one that pretty much covered up any sort of chest I had back then (I didn’t have as much as I do now). With a knee-length skirt, pantyhose, and modest 1-1/2 inch high heels. The outfit was quite conservative – a lawyer could have worn it to court!

But I worked for a manufacturing company and when I had to go back on to the manufacturing floor, I got all kinds of catcalls as I click-clacked around in my high heels. This was back when it was okay to openly harass women and have snap-on tool calendars hanging on your wall at work.

Which just shows you: sometimes men will simply be pigs and it doesn’t matter how much you cover up your cleavage. Cuz afterall, some men are LEG men.

April 10, 2009 at 10:23 am

Rosie

I completely agree with you, Angie. Unless it’s part of the job, cleavage in the workplace is just not appropriate. Sometimes I start the day well covered and my cotton tank will stretch out. This always makes me uncomfortable and now I need to invest in some better, stretchy camis.

Too often people make the mistake of thinking that cleavage automatically means sexy. Tasteful cleavage definitely can be, and usually is. But, so are shoulders, or backs, etc. Rose is right on – sometimes the suggestion hinted at by a well-fitting garment is sexier than showing anything.

April 10, 2009 at 10:29 am

Ele

Wow- I can’t believe I’ve come so late to this topic, one on which I have to much to say!

While I am usually the one complaining about how prudish North Americans are and how we should all try to be a bit more relaxed about our bodies, I will say that I am with you, Angie, on the cleavage at work issue. Perhaps it was just working in the fashion industry, or perhaps it’s London in general, but at my old company there were so many breasts on display that sometimes there was literally nowhere safe to look! From the 19-year-old assistants to our boss (in her late 30’s), low-cut tops were epidemic. I do feel that the type of workplace has to come into the equation somewhat (it was a young, trendy company, and dressing to reflect that was important), but there is a line.

When it comes to myself (outside of a work environment) I admit I do like to show a little cleavage. As a petite 28F with a short-ish neck, I look much better in v-necks and scoops, and I don’t mind showing a little chest. My values, personality and other aspects of my outfits are all plenty modest, so if people choose to see me differently because of the neckline I’m wearing, well- I think that says more about them than me.

April 10, 2009 at 10:42 am

Chris

I agree that there are times to show cleavage (beach/pool is obvious one) and times not too.

As a busty woman, I have felt that I never want that cleavage line to show although I do go for vnecks and knits which allow the basic shape of my body to be seen.

I have had many instances where I have had to have private conversations with young employees (some who had risen quickly to be my peers but I was still considered a senior/mentor to them) about covering their cleavage. Very delicate conversations! I felt badly for two young women as I knew there were unfounded rumours about how they had achevied their promotions and my boss had asked me to bring up the “cleavage” topic for him. One understood right away and the other did not.

I like Angie’s common sense approach.

April 10, 2009 at 10:53 am

Audi

(website)

I think it really depends a lot on what the garment is, and then of course the setting. Even a minimal amount of cleavage is going to be tacky if you’re wearing a sequined, lace-trimmed leopard print top at work, but if it peeks out demurely from under a crisp button-down and tailored jacket then I think it’s tasteful and workplace-appropriate. It’s not an issue for me since I couldn’t reveal any cleavage if I tried, but I’m all for ladies working what they’ve got if they do it in a classy way.

April 10, 2009 at 11:01 am

K Lauren

It’s all about being appropriate and thoughtful. I’m a 38 DD and have worked with all men ( seriously, the only woman engineer!) at times. It’s not appropriate ! Now I work in a very casual and creative place and you know what, it’s still not that appropriate, in my mind. It’s about keeping in classy and using your common sense. I still don’t have the “girls” popping out when I bend over, I wear camis under almost everything as I don’t want folks being able to see my whole landscape unless invited too! I’m not a prude, but let’s use Angie’s super advice “common sense”.

April 10, 2009 at 11:49 am

Maya

I don’t like cleavage myself. I’m a rare bird who just doesn’t like it on anyone, in any situation. Legs are different to me because they’re not inherently sexual, but showing cleavage is basically exposing part of your breasts, which is very much sexual, and dressing in an overtly sexual way creeps me out. I would never want to dress in a way that brings out desire in another person. If that makes me a prude, then I wear my prudishness like a badge of honor.

As a busty girl, I have accepted the reality that no shirt is ever going to make me look modest. If I wore a higher neckline, the fabric would still be tight and clingy and make my chest look even larger. It’s a losing situation either way. I opt for the cami and low neck because it’s more flattering.

As for work, it’s true that unless you’re in a burqa, men will find something about you alluring, whether it’s legs or hips or breasts. But that in no way means you should just wear whatever the heck you want. I would never knowingly and intentionally try to look sexy at work (then again I never try to look sexy period, but even so). It’s would be demeaning to me and distracting to everyone else. Men do not come to work in muscle T’s and tight jeans, so it’s unfair for women to think they have some kind of liberating right to dress this way.

I am speaking from an American perspective, but I remember reading an article about how a workplace in Italy banned short skirts because it distracted the male employees. Even if cleavage and short skirts are more acceptable in Europe, I would not wear them myself because the result is the same. Unless you’re trying to seduce one of your coworkers, I just don’t see any reason for it. There are plenty of modest styles that are still feminine, fun, and youthful.

April 10, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Kyle

(website)

Generally speaking, I agree with Angie. It’s best not to “go there” in the workplace. I have seen women pull off a little workplace cleavage with style and class. But if we need a general rule of thumb, I would say thumbs down to showing the girls at work.

April 10, 2009 at 12:40 pm

HannahC

OK, I feel the need to explain myself now Theoretically speaking, I completely agree with Angie about cleavage being inappropriate in a workplace. Practically, though, if you are very busty, like me, a hint of cleavage may show despite your best efforts. And even if it doesn’t, as Maya said, no top in the world is going to make me look modest (unless it is a potato sack). Of course I don’t try to look sexy intentionally, especially not at work. K Lauren, I am definitely not wearing shirts with the “girls” “popping out” – what I mean is a shirt that is cut a little lower than my collarbone. And you know what? When I was in the army, men openly commented on my bust (army is a very sexist place, unfortunately), and I was wearing the most non-feminine clothes, by definition: the army uniform!

I think a better development in this area, instead of condemning women who accidentally show a bit of cleavage, is to work on separation of work and play, for both men and women. This will create a much better work environment for everyone.

April 10, 2009 at 12:45 pm

carissa

(website)

We just dealt with this issue this morning as we had a live segment on a local Dallas TV morning show (if I had the link I’d give it).

A full bust is beautiful and attracts attention. The decollete area is pretty and the term cleavage means different things. To see where the breasts start rising from the chest is cleavage, as is the “bottom crack” appearance when the breasts are so squished together they create one line. The latter is definitely a result of a bra that fits poorly, the center gore is not resting against the breast bone.

I agree that the smaller bust cleavage is more acceptable. Most of my clients don’t want to attract any more attention to their ample bossoms. To this end the bra and the neckline of the top are very crucial. In fact, when a neckline and bodice are tailored, they usually don’t “flash” when the wearer bends over.

April 10, 2009 at 1:07 pm

BlondeAmbition

As a 36F I have learned that there is nothing I can wear that will make me appear less busty. I opt for V-necks and scoop necks so that it will enhance my figure and not make me look boxy. But honestly, I will get negative attention about my chest no matter what I wear, but the negativity is not coming from within me I assure you. If I want to be taken seriously at work then I cover up. If I want to exert a different kind of power then I show a little cleavage.

The US/Europe thing is very interesting. I tend to dress modestly when I’m in the states, and will be a little more carefree in europe since I’ve never felt harrassed or judged there. I’m mostly scared of women here, they’re the ones that have a problem with my breasts, and men here act like they’ve never seen them before. American women tend to be modest, conservative, and generally not comfortable with their bodies or their sexuality.

Sexy is not something you put on. If you got “it” then you can’t cover it up even with a turtleneck.

April 10, 2009 at 1:16 pm

mamark

Oh, I am so familiar with this. I am a D-cup and, even as a dedicated cami-wearer, I can’t seem to avoid cleavage at the workplace altogether. Some afternoons I look down and think, what am I wearing? Sometimes the realization doesn’t hit until dinnertime when my husband will make an appreciative comment. Fortunately, I am known in my workplace as a bit of a brainiac so I don’t think it’s destroying my reputation.

However, I don’t think cleavage issues are rampant in my area, or perhaps I’m just more tolerant. I can only think of a few instances when someone else’s cleavage has made me uncomfortable. Unless one can see down to the bottom of the breast or gets the feeling that something is going to pop out at any moment, I think cleavage outside of work is definitely OK.

April 10, 2009 at 1:20 pm

HannahC

Carissa,

Thanks for making the distinction between cleavage and the “bottom crack”!

The “bottom crack” in my mind is definitely unacceptable anywhere, especially since this is, as you point out, a result of a poor fit (but even regardless of the fit – this is just tasteless).

As for the point where the breasts start rising from the chest – well, mine start rising right below the collarbone! It is true that wraps do not flash, but camis sometimes do, a little …

April 10, 2009 at 1:21 pm

BlondeAmbition

Funny how we ended up so modest when in Tudor England their cups spilleth over their corsets…. And right around that time when the Puritans boarded their ships away from the cleavage and into the New World!

April 10, 2009 at 1:26 pm

Mary

For you bustier gals, I want to say that while I do not like to see cleavage (esp if my son is with me), I don’t expect you to cover up from head to toe and not wear anything that shows your shape at all. If the girls are generally covered and your attire isn’t saying “please look at my chest”, it goes a long way toward the affect on your appearance, even if a bit of cleavage shows from time to time. Does that make sense?

April 10, 2009 at 1:37 pm

ejvc

As someone who sews, I’m sad to see so many women find they cannot buy clothing that fits! It really is not hard to make clothes that fit a fuller bust, are modest, and are fashionable as well. Not that I’m saying everyone should sew, far from it, but I have to believe it’s at least worth investigating dressmakers in your town. Even one top that really fit could give you a real boost. If you do sew, or know someone who does, you can do what’s called a “full bust adjustment” to nearly any pattern. Some patterns now even come with multiple cup sizes.

I work in London and definitely have seen some shockers at the workplace! The transparent gauze dress without a bra and the black satin shirt unbuttoned to the navel come to mind. But I can’t say as it affected either woman’s career. I did find the more senior the woman, though, the less flesh she showed.

April 10, 2009 at 1:51 pm

HannahC

Angie,
I would really love to see a post about the (in)appropriateness of short skirts in the workplace as well! While the goal of not showing any cleavage at all is not always achievable for the well-endowed, wearing a right length skirt is doable for everyone.

Mary,
I understand your point and I definitely agree. I was just speaking from the opposite perspective – when you are completely appropriately and modestly dressed and are still getting catcalls.

Maya – it is interesting that you don’t feel the same about legs. For me, breasts and legs are all parts of our body, and our body needs to be adequately covered for the workplace (meaning that short skirts are equally inappropriate in my view).

April 10, 2009 at 2:22 pm

Joelle

I agree with Angie’s standard about keeping cleavage to a minimum at work. I would go so far as to say that in most situations it’s in better taste to keep cleavage to a minimum in the daytime, even in casual situations. Cleavage at night, however, just seems a lot more acceptable to me. Maybe because I tend to associate deep decolletage necklines with formal and evening wear. I couldn’t wear a sparkly, floor length dress in the daytime no matter how special the occasion because it’s overkill, but I would at night. Same thing with low necklines–they just seem dressier to me in general, and they don’t seem to look right unless you wear them with a knockout necklace. A camisole is a great way to dress down a very low neckline and make it suitable for daytime.

April 10, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Vildy

I dunno, should a guy be walking around showing chest hair? Not going to be arrested, same as for cleavage-sporting women, but it’s so obvious, so cheesy.

April 10, 2009 at 3:03 pm

Maya

Hannah, I think you misunderstood me: I meant regular knee length length skirts can’t be compared to showing cleavage just because your legs are showing. I would never advocate short skirts in the workplace. Well, unless you consider just above the knee short. I’m 5’2 so this length works on me. Might not on someone who is 5’10.

In a broader sense, what I mean is that there is a middle ground between a potato sack and showing cleavage.

April 10, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Maya

BTW I also wanted to add that even though I don’t care for nighttime, outside-of-work cleavage, I think it’s a personal choice and wouldn’t say it’s bad style or unacceptable. It’s just my preference.

April 10, 2009 at 3:21 pm

Taylor

(website)

I don’t care for OVERT cleavage at all. On the young it looks sleezy on older women it just looks desperate. Like this is all I got

I understand that some women are large busted and have a hard time wrangling the girls in…I think everyone can tell the difference. A woman who dresses modestly, but still some cleavage shows, I don’t think anyone has a prob with that…..but the overt in your face… sooo tacky.

April 10, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Kari

I agree on all counts, but with the caveat that you and many others mentioned that sometimes your bust size/volume means that showing at least a shadow of cleavage is unavoidable. I really try to keep my work wardrobe modest with camisoles or scarves, and I look for scoop or v-necks that are a little higher than average, but sometimes there is only so much you can do! Out of work I still try to avoid more than a hint of cleavage because it’s so easy for cleavage to look trashy.

April 10, 2009 at 6:23 pm

Lynette

I have to agree with Maya. I am admittedly old fashioned, and I don’t wish to see any woman’s cleavage in any situation with the possible exception of the beach where I suppose it’s nearly impossible to cover. I’m tired of looking at women’s cleavage at work. Leave it for your husbands to admire please!

April 10, 2009 at 6:28 pm

Steph

As a large-chested woman (32DDD), I find it so sad to see that some people think that cleavage is more acceptable when the woman’s breasts are smaller. I think cleavage can be done tastefully if your breasts are large or small. (I do agree it should be avoided in the workplace, but I don’t see a problem with a subtle hint of cleavage at work.)

When I hear the idea that smaller-chested women can show their cleavage, but larger-chested women can’t, it just seems like another way to make larger-chested women feel self-conscious and ashamed about a part of their body they don’t have any real control over. I have spent many years hating the size of my chest, but a few years ago I realized there was nothing I could do about it, there were definitely negatives that came along with having it, but it was my body and I should embrace it.

I hate the idea that a small-chested woman is told that it is acceptable to wear a low-cut top, but a large-chested woman is considered inappropriate unless she covers it up. Large breasts are not something to be embarrassed of, and I would apply the same standard to all women, regardless of chest size. So at a cocktail party–by all means, show it off if you want. Walking into your office at work? Don’t wear a low v-neck without a cami, but don’t wear a skirt that hits four inches above the knee either. Can’t get by without a hint of cleavage? That’s fine–you’re dressing in a respectful manner, and that comes through despite some cleavage showing.

April 10, 2009 at 7:56 pm

Kyla

I’m wondering what people consider “cleavage”. Maybe it’s my age showing (24) but I’m surprised at the number of people who consider it inappropriate except in evening dresses or swimsuits. I agree with that if you consider cleavage to be large amounts of dress or the “push-up” effect, but it seems a bit excessive if you consider it to be any hint of breasts/anything below the collar bones.

While at work, I avoid cleavage, but do show skin below my collar bones. And to be honest, I don’t really worry too much about how much shows when I bend over: I wear high enough necklines that you can’t easily see down my shirt and if anyone’s craning enough to see anything it’s their own fault if they get a glimpse of bra or whatever. While not at work, I wear lower cut tops. I feel showing a hint of skin to be fine and to match my personality (I’m not “trashy” but I’m comfortable with my body and am not ashamed of it), and as someone said above, if that leads people to think badly of me that is their own and nothing I do will help that.

April 10, 2009 at 8:58 pm

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Wow, ladies. Thank you for these lively and candid responses. Great stuff.

Rose, well said. Perfect fit is paramount.

Lori, Kathleen, Maya and Ele, you crack me up.

HannahC, and all the other well endowed ladies who have responded that it’s very hard to conceal all hints of cleavage unless you’re wearing a crew neck, I REALLY hear you. I mentioned that precise point in my post and defended your cleavage in the workplace! I have dressed busty woman for professional settings (36G, 38GG, 40G). I fully understand the situation. As long as you wear a camisole and look presentable, you’re fine.

So on a personal level, I choose to never sport cleavage, ever. I wear a 30C or 32C bra size and am not a busty gal (as you can see from my pictures). This decision is purely an individual style preference. It has nothing to do with whether I think cleavage is appropriate or not. Strange as it may sound, I feel 100% alluring in a turtle neck. I guess you are as alluring as you feel.

April 10, 2009 at 9:12 pm

Imogen

(website)

I’m with you on the no cleavage at work – I think as long as you cover to the top or just under (say 1/4″) of the cleavage line on a large bust that’s fine, and outside the workplace, I don’t love too much of it, but of course it depends where you’re going and what you’re doing.

Absolutely the smaller busted woman can wear much more plunging necklines.

On a personal note, I often find that Susannah of Trinny and Susannah tends to have just a bit too much showing.

April 10, 2009 at 11:57 pm

kat

Re Europeans and cleavage. I’m not sure if you can really make generalisations re Europeans and fashion. Here in Rome women dress very differently from, say Amsterdam, Berlin, London, Bratislava or Stockholm.

I’m a foreigner living in Rome and my Italian female coworkers do actually display a ton of cleavage at work. They also wear a lot of clothes which I consider ‘inappropriate’ (for example, pepto bismol pink t-shirts covered in rhinestones or shorts with rhinstones on the back pockets). Just not my style. I wear suits and business casual as do all of the men I work with. This probably sounds terrible but the cleavage displaying women aren’t doing their careers any favours – the men (in suits) move up while the women stay at the bottom. Not sure if this is just plain sexism or the ‘cleavage at work’ thing or both.

Rather than displaying a more laissez faire attitude to sexuality at work I’d say that this way of dressing at work is related to the low status of Italian women in the workplace – in fact Italy has a much, much smaller proportion of women in upper management than in the US for example or Northern Europe where women, coincidentally, dress much more conservatively at work. and older women and women with children here find themselves frozen out of the workforce.

Anyway I’m a busty woman but I wear jackets almost every day (even in hot weather) to cover my assets!

April 11, 2009 at 12:58 am

Mellllls

I guess I’d be interested on a clarification of what constitutes cleavage. I am not particularly well-endowed (34C) but I think everytime I wear a lower cut shirt WITH a camisole I am still showing some cleavage. Not a lot but a slight amount. I know its a you’ll know it when you see it type of thing and I hope that my eye is trained enough to recognize it in myself.

April 11, 2009 at 6:41 am

Blonde Ambition

I agree with Steph, there are so many restrictions put on us busty gals. I strap them in with the minimizer, and cover them up to no avail just so that I won’t offend other women (men never seem to be offended by breasts go figure). I can’t even wear button down shirts because of the gap in front. Most of us really do try to cover up but we are definitely descriminated against no matter what. Coincidentally men who objectify women and treat them as novelties seem to come from homes where moms covered their children’s eyes when a beautiful woman walked by.

April 11, 2009 at 7:46 am

Jennifer

Blonde Ambition,
I agree with all your comments. I’d like to add that it seems women are much harder on each other than men are on women (judging by appearance). Maybe I’m just not as conservative as many commenting on this post, but I just don’t think a little bit of cleavage is either slutty or distracting; it’s just skin. Why is it so threatening?

April 11, 2009 at 8:50 am

kat

Blonde ambition and jennifer – I agree that us busty women are often ‘blamed’ or stereotyped because of our body type. And I definitely don’t think you should have to strap your boobs down in a minimiser (ouch!!) to try to make your boobs less prominent. It really annoys me when men assume that I’m sexually available (I’m a happily married mother of one not that that should matter!) because of my large bust.

That said, there are ways of dressing for work which are inappropriate for anyone no matter what their size. I’d feel the same way if a man wore really tight pants to work! My colleagues wear tops which are low cut enough that you can see the gap between their breasts ie cleavage. Great as an evening look or weekend but not for work IMO (if you work in an office that is). I don’t think that’s office appropriate even for women with small breasts.

I am also unable to buy button downs which fit – but I usually buy them in a size or two up so that they fit my boobs and then get them tailored to fit my waist. With jackets I often wear them unbuttoned. I find that they go a long way to making me look more ‘professional’.

April 12, 2009 at 2:17 am

Blonde Ambition

For the record I would never advocate anyone dressing for work in an inappropriate manner. That said, a little cleavage cannot be avoided for some of us. The true question though is why is cleavage so threatening to women, and why is it a negative signal to men? These are things I’d rather not be a slave to.

April 12, 2009 at 5:03 am

carissa

(website)

Angie – “I guess you are as alluring as you feel” absolutely. Couldn’t have been said better. Worthy of a blog post all on its own.

Yesterday a client purchased our pink shirtwaist dress for Easter. She wasn’t sure of it so I said, “take it, wear it. If you feel frumpy & ugly in it bring it back. If you feel chic and put together in it, you’ll keep it.”

This is kind of along the lines of Brenda Kinsel using intuition to decipher what good fit feels like. Again, worthy of a blog post all on its own with Angie’s insight & prose.

April 12, 2009 at 7:40 am

claire

(website)

definately agree on no cleavage at work! i work with some busty girls who wear VERY low cut tops and it’s so distracting! because i have a pretty ‘athletic’ physique (34a) i can wear deep v’s without actually having a ‘cleavage’!!

April 12, 2009 at 8:02 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

More food for thought. I had a suspicion that viewpoints would differ and that’s great. Variety is the spice of life.

At the end of the day, I guess it’s horses for courses. A few of you have touched on this already, but I think it warrants extra mention. Where you are in the cycle of life seems to play a role as to whether you’re comfortable sporting cleavage or not (and tolerating it on others as well). Are you young, single and carefree, or married with children. This stage of life seems to impact your judgment on the subject. That’s interesting in itself.

Carissa, I’ve had that blog post up my sleeve for a while. I love the suggestion that you made to your client too. Spot on.

April 12, 2009 at 8:10 am

Beth

I am a single, 27 year old who works in a print shop (all my co-workers are men), and I am very busty. Our office dress is very casual but I think it is respectful to my co-worker’s wives to cover my cleavage. Maybe I am being overly modest, but I know men are visual creatures and I don’t want to give them any food for thought.

It is hard to find shirts that look good on me and cover my cleavage. My best friend is the cami, because even I am sometimes tired of seeing my cleavage.

April 12, 2009 at 9:09 pm

Chris

Kyla – I agree that there is a difference between showing some collarbone and neckline and upper chest area and what would be cleavage. I think cleavage is the line between the breasts – not the entire chest area. Good clarification and point!

Wow! What a topic….

April 13, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Skirt junkie

I’d consider a discreet cleavage ok, also in the workplace. I don’t like too much cleavage, nomatter the context.

I’m from Denmark, and I think we are a bit more liberal concerning what we consider OK to wear in the workplace than you are in the US.

April 16, 2009 at 2:41 am

Sassy

I am a 34E and I usually always wear a camisole underneath everything I wear. It doesn’t help that I’m 5’2″. I will always look top heavy.
In this regard, I ALWAYS make sure I’m covered up at work (hence cami’s!).
I have to comment because my husband came home the other day complaining about a woman he works with who was wearing a button down top with several buttons undone. He said he was having the hardest time explaining the new application to her because he was trying so hard not too look down.
Studies have shown that the eye gravitates toward skin and with a large expanse showing its difficult for anyone to keep their eyes straying from errant cleavage.
Sometimes, I have experienced this same effect with my colleagues who wear low cut ensembles. I have my own cleavage, I don’t need to look at someone else’s but I know how hard it is to avoid looking.
For this reason, I think cleavage is inappropriate in the workplace… depending on what you do, of course.
Outside of work, I have no issues with it.

April 17, 2009 at 5:15 pm

patricia

If it’s impossible to cover all yor cleavage, then I think a little bit is ok depending on the type of work u do.. scoop necks and v-necks do look the best on women with big boobs ( like my mom) but, my main issue is with the nipple!! I just think it’s inappropriate!! I’min a meeting and i have to stare and them for an hour!! ugh please ladies wear the right size/fit/shape if you know yor nipps are on the larger size. I canunderstand I have pretty “poky” nips, but i choose great bra’s that have a little tiny bit of lining so that I don’t have to constantly do the TMI thing! lol %)

April 24, 2009 at 5:42 pm

Gina

I have a personal policy of not showing my cleavage at work. I’m rather small-breasted (32B/C) so it’s pretty easy for me to keep everything covered. I’d actually have to make a point of wearing a push-up bra and a particularly low cut shirt if I wanted to show cleavage. In other words, it would be completely intentional.

I don’t find it inappropriate for other women to show cleavage in the work place, especially if its a small amount of cleavage on a larger-breasted woman. In that case, her top usually isn’t as lowcut as some of the stuff I wear, but she just has more that will stick out. As a supervisor, I’ve never had anyone show such an inappropraite amount of cleavage that I felt it had to be addressed. I did recently have to address the issue of thongs sticking out of pants (isn’t that trend loooong past anyway?????).

Only one time ever did I break my own rule and show cleavage in the work place. I was going to a work-related party after work, and some of the other women at that company tended to dress a little sexier for those events, and I wanted to match. I ended up spilling wine on myself and ruing my cami and blouse. I took that as a sign, and have never again shown cleavage at work.

May 15, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Ross

I used to work in this place where there was a woman with huge lovely breasts – who worked at the desk opposite me – sometimes she would thrust out her boobs in fullview of me when stretching herself- but i tried to keep my eyes on my work and not to be distracted – i felt embarrassed to oogle – i didnt have a problem with not staring

September 28, 2009 at 5:29 am

A Guy

An interesting discussion. I’ll chime in with what may be a minority opinion among guys, but I tend to avoid girls/women who show cleavage. A few scenarios:

(1) It’s that work situation that Angie alluded to: Please, please, let me just interact with you as a professional coworker. If you’re proficient at what you do, I’ll find plenty to respect and appreciate about you. My respect is something you can take to the bank, whereas my gawking is entirely worthless to both of us.

(2) It’s outside of work, and we’re not romantically involved with each other: If you’re showing cleavage, I’ll respect your right to dress as you please, but I’ll probably politely take my leave in very short order. Because I find it tiring and uncomfortable to studiously avoid your breasts while trying to take in the person I’m talking to. That’s alright: plenty of other guys will be happy to talk to you.

(3) We’re in some kind of relationship, other than marriage: Our relationship will either grow or not grow, independently of your breasts. I’m probably well aware of your form and appearance, but what I’ll be trying to build our relationship on is friendship, character, interests, beliefs, values, and so on. Classy or casual, dressing modestly will do much more to capture my affections than the alternative.

(4) We’re married and by ourselves: If we’ve gotten this far, and you want to show some cleavage before taking everything off, I’m okay with that.

I hugely appreciate when women around me dress modestly, and I find that it makes them no less beautiful. But as others have suggested, there’s probably some leeway between what you wear and how you wear it. Just my own views.

December 20, 2009 at 12:33 am

Ross

I am a man-and I do think women have the right to wear what they want at the workplace, I do believe in equality between the sexes, but some women do use their sexuality to their advantage at work. some women deliberately dress sexy to distract men at work – they enjoy using that power they have over them and now that men are even afraid to stare or make any comment about it because of harsh sexual harrassment laws women nowadays are free to wear whatever they want in the office and theres nothing men can do about it and that is why much more women now are showing more cleavage, breasts enhancers, tight blouses, push up bras – they are flaunting it – – what am I supposed to do when all around me are flashing cleavages, bouncing breasts, skimpy tops, I get horny, I cant help it, it arouses sexual thoughts in me and it distracts me from my work. I try hard not to stare because I know women wouldn抰 like that but its hard,- Ladies is this fair what you are doing to men? Tell me what you think- Id like to get a ladys opinion
Ross

January 6, 2010 at 1:50 pm

Audrey

I ABSOLUTELY agree – cleavage at work – is unacceptable – and tasteless. I see it every where – women who watch television and think that the women who work in crime labs really do go to work make up to the nines with there boobs popping out of their blouses…ugggg. It’s everywhere – in the bank – reception at the optometrist etc. etc.

Those who would argue need to put the shoe on the other foot. How would they respond to a male co-worker who wore a shirt the exposed most of his chest?? I think not…Great post Ang – I am in total agreement on the cleavage yah or nah at work.

June 14, 2010 at 12:26 am

Christi L

I think cleavage is beautiful too. Even I catch myself looking and maybe comparing myself to some beautiful girl now and then. Who can help noticing? So no, I don’t think you are a prude for your none-at-work policy. Work is work and the more you get done the better you’ve done your job. Same goes for the men in your office. They need to get their work done too. Don’t intentionally distract them.

I think it might be good to carry that thought out into the public area too though. I don’t want my husband looking at your cleavage and I hope you wouldn’t want another woman’s husband looking at mine. Even worse think of all the 12 year old boys that are pretty clueless. I think women showing too much cleavage ignites little imaginations before it’s time. I say, let us as mature women take some responsibility for who’s looking, and save the wonder and delight for the bedroom.

November 1, 2010 at 9:51 pm

Michael

Personally, I don’t mind a little bit of cleavage showing, and I realize that larger-busted women have a more difficult time keeping it covered. For me, the display of cleavage (or lack thereof) in and of itself does not make a woman more or less beautiful (or more or less ugly for that matter). It is how it compliments her overall appearance. In other words, a woman does not necessarily have to show her cleavage to be attractive to me, but that does not mean that she will automatically be ugly if she does. And vice-versa.

March 17, 2011 at 10:22 am

Jeannie

Ok,I am rather large chested. Had a reduction last year. It took me down to a 38dd.I used to hide myself in oversized tops and sweats.People would make remarks about how heavy I was. I got sick of it so one weekend I put on a skort and a fitted blouse. The women that had been putting me down promptly shut up. You see I was hiding a rather “fit body” was self counsious because of my then 42 dd breasts.
I find it rather ironic that it is women that have an issue with my chest NOT the men. Go figure. Big breasted women are wrongfuly sterotyped. Look at the parody for the Cami secret on you tube. There are even ads for this product that have reviews that state are you tired of the “office tramp”? Give me a break because we are large chested we are “tramps”?What happens when we DO wear the camis under the v shirts and STILL our cleave shows. This past weekend I had on a bra then the cami with a built in bra over it and a v necked shirt over both. The women kept looking at my chest. I look down and the stupid cami needs to be pulled back up.BTW,I am not as happy with the camisecret as alot of women appear to be. It keeps coming out of my v tops I think the one size fits all is not inc women that are bigger boned. I am not meaning overweight either as I am an 8 pants but a 14/16 top.They need to go back to the drawing board on this product.

March 28, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Renee

I’m so glad you mentioned how less endowed gals get away with showing more skin, and Jeannie, you are right on the money. It’s TRUE! I’m petite but have always been naturally endowed with a huge bust for my size; post-baby, that bust is even bigger, my hips are bigger, and my waist returned to normal. I agree that at work, women of all sizes should put it away. But as for the occasional bottle service nights with the girls or cocktail/date events, why should us bigger gals be discriminated against? Half the time my cleavage is unintentional; no matter what I wear these days, it’s in your face because of the breastfeeding. So who’s to judge when looking at my cleavage downtown just because it isn’t small like the flat girls? One could just as easily argue that flat-chested girls wearing blazers without anything else underneath or down-to-there v-necks are slutty. I cannot simply put my boobs away because they are that big. I tailor my clothes to accommodate them, of course, so they are not sluttily falling out or anything like that. I am just noticeable as a larger-endowed woman. Flat-chested women can always amp up the volume and stuff or push up, but we cannot naturally reduce our boobs. If you’ve got it, I think you should be allowed to flaunt it outside of the office and I don’t find my God-given body inappropriate when tailored well.

May 25, 2012 at 12:11 am

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