In this morning’s post about creating and maintaining positive body image, I mentioned my dream of starting a modeling agency that books women of all ages, sizes and body types. Well, it wasn’t long before we received word from reader Melanie that such a modeling agency already exists in Toronto, Canada. I am delighted to share that Ben Barry Models “is the first modeling agency in the world to represent fashion models of all ages, sizes, backgrounds, and abilities”. Rock on Ben Barry! You are doing your part to change the face of fashion.

Most women have struggled with their body image at one point or another. We compare our bodies to some sort of ideal that we believe to be the norm and the doubts begin to surface. The further away our body type is from what we perceive to be the ideal, the higher the chances of negative body image setting in. We complain about the shape of our bodies and long for a size that’s either larger, smaller, taller, shorter, straighter, curvier, narrower or broader than our own. 

Creating and maintaining a positive body image is not easy. Society bombards us with images of women who, for the most part, portray one body type: young, tall, slim and proportioned in a particular way. I’m not one to vilify the media and the fashion industry for this bias, because it is a complex issue that a rant won’t solve, but the fact remains that it affects us. If I could magically make the world of fashion and style representative, I would. In fact, I have a dream of starting a modeling agency that books women of all ages, sizes and body types. But until then, we need to find routes to positive body image despite society’s current bias.

As a fashion stylist who dresses woman of all sizes and body types, body image challenges are a huge reality in my line of work. So I’ve spent time helping women — my individual clients and women on our forum — to embrace their body so that they can move on to enjoy all the fun and reward that a style renewal or refresher has to offer. Although I have a degree in psychology, I am not a psychologist. But I have found that it helps to focus on three things when you confront your body image issues.

Style is NOT a Dress Size

Embed these six words onto your brain NOW and don’t forget them. Although people do judge our bodies, I have also found that they judge our style independently of them. I’m sure you have often found yourself looking at a woman who by the ideal standards is too old, too round, too short, or too something, but still thinking “Wow, that’s a stylish lady.” Style is a celebration of individuality. You don’t have to conform to an ideal to be recognized as stylish.

Your Body Deserves Love and Respect

The first step to a confident style is learning to love and respect your body. It is an amazing, miraculous, complex thing, and we are each so fortunate to have one. In the light of this, I find that comparisons of body shape seem petty and futile. Instead, appreciate it for what it is and work within its proportions. Enjoy its true uniqueness. This is empowering.

Becoming Stylish is Learning to Dress Your Body

Style is learned, and practiced, and refined. As your style journey progresses you will figure out how to dress your body in ways that make you feel, and look, fabulous. You will learn that you have differences, not flaws. When clothes don’t fit straight off the rack, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with your body; it means that there is something wrong with the clothes. Continue to search for clothing that is worthy of you and that does fit your body. Alter items if necessary and enjoy the euphoric effects of a superbly fitting garment. 

The power of these three points is that they are simple truths. You probably believed all three of them before you even read them in this post. The trick is to return to them when your insecurities surface. Remind yourself that the insecurities are the fiction.

I realize that changing your mindset and maintaing a positive body image is easier said than done. If you are struggling, then reading this post probably isn’t going to immediately shift you back into a positive mindset. But in my experience these three truths cut to the core of the issue and provide a starting point. Focus on them. Acknowledge your perceptions of your body and at the same time question where they came from. Surround yourself with people, activities and clothing that help you view your body in a positive light. Like most things in life, practice makes perfect. And the more you practice positive body image, the easier it will become.

I generally prefer a mismatched look, but my style quirk is being matchy-matchy in the extreme about certain specific items. 

One, my bra and knickers MUST match both in colour and fabrication. They don’t need to be the same brand, but they must look like a matching set. No matter how fab my outfit, it won’t feel right unless my bra and undies match each other. Second, the metals on my watch and wedding ring must match too. I’ll wear my platinum wedding ring with silver watches, and my gold wedding rings with a gold watch. I feel sloppy and untidy when they are mismatched. 

Of course, mismatching your undies and metals is stylishly acceptable. Maybe this is just a quirk, or perhaps it’s a form control that somehow makes me feel more organized about my day. I am a control freak. 

Do you have any quirky aspects to your style?

Mo thought that these fashion tips to help you look younger from Real Simple were helpful. 

Annagybe says that although this article on the scientific reason why you’re a hipster is about music, the thoughts can also be applied to fashion trends.  

Diana enjoyed Cynthia’s post, “Stacking: a biochemical guide to posing”, where she explains in great detail how to pose in a flattering and natural way for outfit photographs. 

After looking at Lauren Bush’s wedding dress, MaryK hopes that wedding gowns with actual tops and sleeves make a comeback. 

Stripe lovers will be inspired by the ensembles on La Mariniere, says qfbrenda, a lover of stripes herself. 

Laurinda directs us to a cool style-defining tool from The Vivienne Files. 

Nancy says that you can check out the red carpet looks of this years Golden Globes Awards Ceremony via this Harpers Bazaar slideshow, just in case you missed the show on Sunday. 

Inge wants to know what you think of actors like Tim Roth, Gary Oldman and Adrien Brody strutting their stuff on a catwalk runway. Check out Prada’s 2012 Fall Collection via Fashionista and let us know whether you think these blokes are fabulous.  

Kate enjoyed Cupcake Caramel’s post, “French Friday, 44”, which is about the power of being confident, well dressed, and having good table manners. 

Legacy of Pearl was delighted to find out that sneakers derived their name from the word “sneaky”. Read more of the stories behind your favorite fashions like pumps, mary janes and stilettos. 

Gingko liked these 6 steps to an effortlessly chic wardrobe because it inspired her to dress her best sans the shopping frenzy. 

AJ is excited about Jason Wu For Target’s lookbook as seen on The Looks For Less. A great collaboration for sure.