These photos were taken an hour before the wedding in a Japanese garden at The New Otani, the hotel where we stayed during our visit to Tokyo. With it’s beautiful tomato red bridge and Zen shrubbery, Greg couldn’t have found a more picturesque backdrop for this photo shoot. 

I had hoped to find a new outfit to wear for the joyous occasion, but it didn’t work out that way. Things were either too short, too neutral, too bare, too casual, too flimsy, too expensive or too maximal when I shopped around for a frock and topper. I still liked the blue sheath dress and citron trench coat that I wore for my 40th a few years ago better than anything new I tried. Shopping your closet has it’s benefits.

Although classic in silhouette, the uneven ruching detailing both in the front and back of the sheath gives it a modern and sculptural vibe. It was unexpectedly cold and windy that day and I was much relieved that I had a dressy trench coat to cover up my sleeveless dress. I kept the trench on and un-buttoned during most of the wedding events. 

I hadn’t thought of adding nude hosiery to this ensemble until right before the event. 99% of the women in Japan wear textured, black or plain nude hosiery with their skirts and dresses, so I was inspired to do the same. I bought an ultra fine textured pair at a nearby shop for $4.

And my goodness was I glad that I wore hose. Most of the ceremony at the shrine was outside. And afterwards we walked to the restaurant where the reception was held, as well as walking back to the hotel. I would have frozen my buns off with bare legs, and been utterly miserable. 

The dress was blue. The trench coat, pearls, clutch bag (and dress) were old. And the shoes are new. The citron colour of the pumps stole my heart right away. But I am not a high-heeled stiletto gal, preferring chunkier and lower heels by about a billion percent. However, I loved the black and white stripes on the heels so I gave them a bash.

As far as “sitting shoes” go, they felt fab, and completed the lady like integrity of the outfit. I can scarcely believe, and neither can Greg, that I walked to the reception and back to the hotel in these heels – although it was at a much slower pace than my usual fast stride. Thank you Kate Spade for making high heels that agree with my fussy feet. 

Be sure to see the additional pictures on Facebook or Tumblr, and if you are interested in the making of a YLF photo, Greg has outlined the post-processing steps on his lookfab blog. 

Tomorrow, the finale of our Japan series and the most important post of all: Brian and Tomoko’s wedding.

You are on Team Bracelet if you prefer to wear arm candy — be it bangles, bracelets or cuffs — more than rings. You are on Team Ring if you prefer to wear decorative rings, like oversized faux cocktail rings or rings made of real metals and precious stones, more than arm candy. Note: for this poll, watches do NOT count as arm candy, and wedding rings do NOT count as decorative rings. 

I very, very, occasionally wear bracelets and rings because my minimalistic style prefers to stay clear of jewelry and accessory extras. I stick to wearing an oversized watch and wedding ring daily and leave it at that. A few times a year, I’ll throw on a chunky bracelet or cocktail ring, both gold and bold vintage pieces from my late Mum. I seem to wear the ring a little more often than the bracelet, and also generally prefer rings to arm candy. I’m on Team Ring. 

Over to you. Are you on Team Bracelet or Team Ring. Tell us why and no batting for both teams. 

I really don’t like the phrase “trying too hard” when it comes to describing someone’s style or an outfit they are wearing. Even when people are using it to describe themselves, I find it unfair and not at all constructive. 

That said, it is definitely a real thing. It is the exact opposite of what I would describe as effortless style. When you are “trying too hard” you are sporting a look that takes you out of your comfort zone and makes you feel self-conscious. The confidence, such an important ingredient of a successful outfit, is missing. 

Confidence is important, but evolving your style might be just as important. Experimenting with different silhouettes, fabrications, colours, shoe shapes, accessories, tones of make-up and hairstyles will keep your style fresh, fashionable, and interesting. Perhaps most important, it is fun to experiment.

The thing is, you’re probably going to feel more self-conscious and less confident when you move out of your comfort zone. You might look like you are “trying too hard”. 

That’s completely ok.

If you can, forget about what others might think and focus on evolving your style. Or take smaller steps outside your comfort zone and evolve your style in little increments. Over time, the experiments will pay off and you will find a new, evolved style that makes you feel confident and therefore looks effortless to others. After all, practice makes perfect.

Also, the more experimentation you do, the less self-conscious you will feel when you experiment. Looking at the street style in Harajuku it struck me that here are people who might not even have a comfort zone based on certain items, silhouettes, or styles. Their comfort zone is trying new things, and they are confident in their experiments.

You might read this post and think that I am contradicting my pillars of effortless style, but I’m not. I do still believe in those pillars today. Here’s the important point: some days you are going to decide to look effortless and dress within your current comfort zone. That’s when the pillars apply. On other days you are going to step outside your comfort zone and consciously sacrifice effortless style in order to evolve. 

Perhaps we can find a more supportive and constructive way of describing those moments of style transition when we are experimenting and finding our way. I’m open to suggestions.

Greg and I derive as much enjoyment from eating great dishes and appreciating their presentation as we do from observing fashion and style. Japanese food happens to be one of our favourites, so each carefully chosen meal in Japan was a joyous ritual, provoking much conversation. And picture taking. 

There are five unique Japanese food and beverage experiences that stole our hearts and we thought we’d go completely off topic and share them with you today.

Specialized Restaurants

These typically small eateries, some seating no more than four people, specialize in only one type of food. For example, a yakitori-ya specializes in chicken on a stick that’s grilled on coals right in front of you when you’re seated at the bar. An unagi-ya specializes in grilled unagi (eel). And sushi restaurants serve little but sushi and sashimi. This is very different to most Japanese restaurants we’ve experienced outside of Japan, where you typically find yakitori, unagi and sushi all on the same menu.

Sushi is my favourite food and eating it in Japan was sublime. We ordered our favourites like hand rolls and tuna sashimi, and also tried a few new things under the supervision of our dear friends Tomoko and Brian.

Izakayas

These types of restaurants serve seasonal Japanese food on small and medium plates. What a tapas bar is to Spain, or a pub is to Britain, the Izakaya is to Japan. It is a place where you can grab a tasty snack while having a drink or two with friends or colleagues. The food types and price points at izakayas vary a great deal and we recognized very few items on the menus. But with Tomoko’s guidance we ate extremely well and had lots of utterly scrumptious food.

Our best Izakaya experience was a place alongside the canal in Kyoto, where we took Brian for his birthday dinner.

Department Store Food Halls

I grew up in Hong Kong, where Japanese department stores like Takashimaya, Diamaru, Sogo and Seibu, were very popular. So visiting them always brings back fond memories. I LOVE Japanese department stores, and one of the reasons is the large variety of the most exquisitely prepared gourmet “to go” food that they serve from counters as neat as a pin in their basement levels. People buy the delights to eat at lunch time, or take them home to have for supper. Tomoko told us that the food is discounted at 5pm each day, by which time most of it has already been sold.

We didn’t eat at a food hall on this trip, but we did go to Takashimaya and take photos of the wonderful dishes until one of the serving ladies starting scolding Greg.

Standing Bars

There are so many small, interesting bars in Japan. Some of them have the odd seat, but for the most part people stand at high counters and drink. They might order a small snack with their drink, but will stand while eating. The interiors are small, decorative and cozy, mixing up the modern with the traditional (a theme that runs throughout Japan). You’ll often see them full of men in suits straight after work. The interiors are festive and the alcohol itself becomes part of the decor. We found the huge bottles of schochu (a Japanese distilled spirit) particularly attractive. And the bartenders are pretty cool too.

Some of the guests moved to a particularly cosy bar after Brian and Tomoko’s wedding reception. This bar was also called a “one coin bar” because most of the drinks could be purchased with a single 500 Yen coin (about $6, which is very reasonable in Tokyo).

Vending Machines

Japan’s virtually vandalism-free society allows for a serious vending machine culture. They are all over the streets of Japan, like three or four around every street corner, and create a very colourful scene. They dispense both hot and cold drinks, snacks and cigarettes. The vending machine products are extremely affordable and come in very handy.

And despite taking every opportunity to consume large quantities of Japanese delights, both Greg and I returned from Japan having lost weight. It really does seem to be a healthy, balanced cuisine, as long as you eat the carbohydrates in the same proportion that the Japanese do. I think we have a tendency to overdo the rice when we eat Japanese here in the USA.

We’re almost done with the coverage of our trip to Japan, but we’ve left the best to last — the wedding itself — which we will cover early next week.