A plus size perspective

Today’s post is written by fabulous forum member Marianna who hails from San Jose, CA, but lives in Chicago. Marianna is a recent college graduate who works as a part time television production assistant and retail sales assistant at Anthropologie. She wowed us with her flawless style when she won our TJ Maxx competition and continues to impress us with her knowledge, generosity and kindness on the forum. I asked Marianna to impart some of her wisdom and this is what she had to say.

MariannaI won’t sugarcoat it: dressing my plus size body is a daily challenge. My weight has been a lifelong struggle and only recently have I started the process of size acceptance. The first step in my size acceptance journey has been coming to terms with the fact that I am indeed plus size, that my clothing options are comparably limited, and that I have to shop in a segregated section of the store. Stepping foot into the small “women’s” department and figuring out what clothes flatter my apple shaped body is a never-ending emotional journey of trial and error.

I have been overweight my entire life and I have always loved fashion. From infancy my elegant plus size mother dressed me in the cutest clothing – she prided herself on having a well-dressed daughter. Naturally, my mom’s love of clothing passed down to me and as I grew up we bonded on frequent shopping trips. My mom has never let her size get in the way of being successful and dressing beautifully. Always immaculately polished, with gorgeous clothes, funky specs, and stunning jewelry, my mom is the epitome of a stylish plus size woman.

Despite having such an amazing role model, as a stubborn teenager and young adult I insisted on wearing what I wanted to wear and what I thought looked good. Prior to stumbling upon YouLookFab I had never truly succumbed to shopping in plus size departments. My weight has fluctuated from fat to fatter, but regardless of weight, I always shopped in straight size stores and squeezed myself into ill-fitting clothes. I had absolutely no idea how clothes were supposed to fit. If it looked pretty on the hanger and fit over my head, I would buy it. I was clearly in complete denial about my weight. My mom would kindly voice her opinions on my less than fab ensembles, but my stubbornness got in the way of listening to her insight. For years my clothes were clearly too tight, showcasing my belly instead of hiding it, and doing absolutely nothing to flatter my shape. I came to YouLookFab feeling frumpy. I knew I had stylish clothes in my closet, but I didn’t understand why I didn’t feel fab. That’s when I discovered the world of proper fit and dressing according to body type.

The absolute first step in overhauling my wardrobe has been realizing that I am apple shaped. It has been a humiliating and humbling experience learning my true size, yet it has also been eye opening to see how much better I look and feel in clothes that actually fit.

It hasn’t happened overnight, but slowly I am figuring out what styles look best on me and what clothes I feel best in. I would label myself as a true modern classic – my style incorporates simple classic garments with updated prints, colors, cuts and fabrications. I also adore statement jewelry and am rarely seen without a statement necklace or long earrings.

Marianna Outfit 1Marianna Outfit 2Marianna Outfit 4Marianna Outfit 3

I am no fashion pro, but I do feel I have learned some very valuable lessons while overhauling my wardrobe. Here are some of the important ones:

  • I can wear everything Angie blogs about, including bright colors, bold patterns, stripes, skinny jeans, leggings, boots over skinnies, and fitted clothes. Just because we’re a little bigger does not mean we have to ignore current styles and trends. We just have to search a little harder for the items, make sure they fit well, and then style them correctly. I wear my skinny jeans all the time – but only with a tunic on top!
  • I shouldn’t be afraid to be stylish or draw attention to myself. I wear gigantic statement necklaces that are impossible to miss and I feel fab.
  • Plus size items are virtually identical to their straight sized counterparts. They’re just bigger! This is especially true at stores like Nordstrom and Macy’s where you see some of the same items in the plus size department as you see in the straight size sections. The plus size items simply have a little more fabric and are sometimes cut to accommodate a larger bust.
  • The size on the tag does not matter. Recently I went shopping in Macy’s women’s department and had to buy one sweater in a 2X while I bought a different style in a 0X. I usually do not wear 2X, but this particular style fit better in the larger size, so I got the larger size. I am not stressing over it.
  • There is a large Internet community of “fatshionistas” and “fatshion” bloggers. These women are an incredible source of inspiration.
  • The plus size department is not so bad. It may be tucked away into a small corner of the store, and you may be the only one there, but at least you have a peaceful shopping experience and there is less competition for sizes!
  • I should follow Angie’s mantra and leave no retail stone unturned! Plus size departments may be small, but they are in almost every department store. I am very loyal to Nordstrom, and Macy’s is great too. Torrid is one of my favorites for trendy pieces. Forever 21’s new plus size line Faith 21 is another fun venue for trendier options. Talbots has an amazing women’s selection and their quality is unbeatable. Lane Bryant has stunned me with their recent collection. JC Penney and Sears have plus size departments with good basics. Target is also great for basics and trendier pieces. The list goes on and on.
  • There are a multitude of online plus size shopping resources. When brick and mortar stores are leaving you disappointed, you’re sure to find what you’re looking for online.

Most important of all, there is no rule stating that only thin women are allowed to dress well and enjoy fashion. Plus size women are women too! We are allowed to be as girly and stylish as we want to be!

I am so thankful that YouLookFab came into my life and gave me a much needed reality check. I still have a long road ahead of me with accepting my body and learning to dress it, but now I welcome the challenge with an open mind. I feel empowered knowing that I am plus size and look fantastic.

1000 thoughts on fashion and style

Three years, eight months and four days later. I can scarcely believe it. This is the one thousandth post on YLF! Time flies when you’re having fun.

When Greg suggested I start a blog, I said, “okay!”, and then I said “what’s a blog?”. This is what poor Greg was up against. And I didn’t actually like to write, so how on earth was I going to enjoy writing a blog. But Greg had the insight to recognize that I have a lot of experience and passion to share. He also knows that I’m social and love to yak. So as long as I treated each post as if I was having a simple, daily conversation with you, the words would flow freely from my keyboard. So with Greg’s technical expertise and my voice, YLF was born.

I looked back at my posts since April 2006 and noticed a few things about my blogging style. My voice has remained the same, but the subject matter has changed and broadened. In the beginning I blogged about short instant style tips, fashion trends and body type dressing for the everyday person. My focus is still the “how” of style — it’s easy to purchase an item for your wardrobe, but it’s how you’re going to wear the item that counts. But these days the posts are sometimes more serious and sometimes less serious than they were in the beginning.

Anne Fontaine

The blog today also has more of me in it. When I write for YLF, I try to make it more about the reader and the subject, and less about me as an individual. So for the first  two years of YLF I deliberately kept all details about my physical appearance off the blog. I finally revealed myself in a series of blog entries on Paris. You got a glimpse of what I looked like in a post I wrote about my Anne Fontaine experience, and then full portrait shots of Greg and I by the end of that week. It was unexpected and a long time coming, which made it all the more fun.

And while there is more of me in the blog these days, it is also more about you. It was just over a year ago that forum member Antje wrote the first guest post, and since then 14 others have added their voices. This has made for richer and more compelling content, where the guest poster’s words often speak louder than mine. I look forward to accelerating this trend and incorporating as much diversity as possible into the blog.

I’ve learned two big things about blogging. First, it takes discipline and hard work. Those of you who have blogs know how much time it takes to put together a decent post and participate in the discussion that follows. Especially when you have a “day job”. Second, you need to develop a thick skin and take the high road. When you dish out your thoughts and ideas for the world to see, you have to take the heat that goes along with it. People who comment don’t always agree with what you say and some rudeness is inevitable. But being defensive is not the answer and learning the art of self restraint has proved invaluable.

Most of all, I’m grateful for what YLF has become. So many wonderful people, interacting with intelligence, compassion and sincerity. I just love being a part of it.

The floor is open to you. Do you have any questions about fashion blogging or being a fashion stylist? What type of post do you enjoy the most and why? How can we improve YLF? I’m ready to write the next thousand blog entries and making sure I keep you engaged is my main goal. Let’s hear it!

Behind the Scenes

Greg is sneaky about taking candid photographs and these are some behind the scenes moments that he captured. They include writing a blog entry in a Hong Kong hotel room, fixing lips before my NBC interview, and “take a photo of that!” in a department store. And always, always with tea in hand.

What’s new in the YLF store

I’m having a lot of fun slowly but surely filling up our new store. Hopefully you have noticed the new items arriving every day. Note the visual summary of the latest additions that will always appear just below the first post on the blog.

Here are my favourites for the week:

Thanks to Christie for pointing out a problem with the star ratings early this week. We have fixed the bug, so please go back and add ratings if you didn’t manage to do so in the beginning. If you already wrote a review, feel free to add another one for that item to register your star rating.

Finally, Thanksgiving weekend has come and gone, but the sales continue. Through 7 December you can get an extra 25% off the Friends and Family sale at macys.com and free shipping when you spend $99 or more (use promo code MACYSFRIEND at checkout). Bloomingdale’s will be offering discounts of between 20% and 40% on more than 1000 items between December 7 and 9.

Happy shopping.

Roundups

Simpler Items

This week's list of top picks list is about basic pieces.

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Assorted Items

Items for Summer, both in and out of air conditioning.

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Casual Summer Vibes

This week's top picks are good for a casual Summer vibe.

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Summery Earth Tones

These items are for those who like to wear casual earth tones in warm and hot weather.

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Hints of Spring

Some tried-and-tested winning items to refresh your style for Spring.

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Dressier Items

An assortment of dressier top picks might be just what the doctor ordered.

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One wish for your fashion and style

If you were allowed to make one wish relating to fashion and style, what would it be? There is no wish too outrageous and everything is possible.

You could ask for a limitless clothing budget, enjoy perfectly styled hair for the rest of your days, sport a flawless complexion till you’re a hundred, or wake up with a body like Jennifer Aniston. You could live in a fashion capital, be a super model, enjoy the fruits of a fancy walk-in wardrobe, have a stylist pull together a fabulous and appropriate outfit each morning till you retire, entrust someone to do your wardrobe shopping so that you never need to worry about it again, meet your style icon, make all clothing magically fit, or have blue eyes.

My wish is a tall order: I wish for magical comfort levels for every shoe and boot on the planet right now and forever to accommodate my forever fashionable and fussy feet. That way I would be able to wear absolutely any ped and never worry about comfort issues again.

The sky is your limit so let your imagination run wild. Remember though, you’re only allowed ONE wish and you have to live with it forever. Think carefully and let’s hear it.

Amp up your party ensemble with a bib necklace

Instead of purchasing new dresses each party season, I often rejuvenate the look of my frocks with new accessories. I don’t wear earrings so necklaces are my number one choice of jewelry for any outfit. The plainest frock or top comes to life with an eye catching item of neckwear, and for this reason I enjoy the effect of bib necklaces. Simple and bold.

Bib necklaces come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, metals, colours and materials, especially at his time of year when party wear is in full retail swing. Some bib necklaces are wildly ornate, chunky and glitzy, whereas others are earthy, tarnished and dainty. Pop them over either a low or high neckline for instant drama and watch your ensemble transform from drab to dazzling.

Do you like the look of bib necklaces, or is it too much necklace? What’s your preferred choice of jewelry for fancy occasions?

Tasha 'Cleopatra' Jeweled BibSilent Film Bib Necklaceb

These necklaces are silver and monochromatic, but bib necklaces are effective in every metal and in stones and beads of every colour. You’re not limited to pairing bib necklaces with party dresses either. Pop them under a button-down shirt or over a dressy knit top for a more casual party occasion. Easy.