This is a concern that arises frequently with my clients. They want to step up their style quotient, but they don’t want to look too dressed up because it invites questions like, “why are you dressed up?”, “where are you going today?” or “are you going to an interview?”.

Why do people ask these questions? Why does it make my clients uncomfortable? And what can they do about it? I’ve thought about these questions a lot.

I think that the root of the issue is that human beings are very good at identifying differences and sometimes these differences make us uncomfortable. In the case of my clients, there are two main reasons that are driving people to ask about their new style:

1. They are dressed differently to other people in their environment
2. They are dressed differently to the way they dressed before

If you are dealing with this issue, it might help to think about which case is the most relevant to your situation.

Challenging the Environmental Norm

A typical example of the first case is the professional technical woman who would like to be more pulled together at work. But the rest of her colleagues, male and female, dress very casually (to put it politely). When she reveals her new style, she will stand out. People will notice her.

Another example is the stay at home mother who would like to look fashionable and cute. But she’s surrounded by women who wear jeans, t-shirts, hoodies and Dansko clogs. When she fetches her children from school in a casual empire cut dress, denim jacket and ballet flats, she too stands out and people notice her.

In these situations my clients have a decision to make. Should they dress down to the norm at work and on the playground, or should they be different? I would love it if everyone could dress exactly the way they pleased, but there are realities here. If dressing up too much will reduce their effectiveness then they need to think carefully about this decision. One thing to do is look at other people who have a higher style quotient than the norm. Are there role models who are effective and stylish?

Changing your Individual Norm

The second case is easier to deal with, and is actually more often than not the real reason for my client’s discomfort. People notice the new her. They see the change and they are curious, or even envious. Here it has little to do with the environmental norm, and everything to do with her metamorphosis. She is changing her individual norm.

In this case, the answer is clear. Persevere! She just has to get through a temporary period of adjustment – for her and the people around her. Most of the time, my clients persevere like troopers and I’m so proud of them as they establish a new norm for themselves. People settle into their new style, expect them to look fab and pulled together, and the questions fade away.

I’ve never been asked why I’m dressed up. I guess that’s one of the joys of being in the fashion industry. People let you off the hook when you’re “dressed up”, no matter what the occasion.

Do you deal with this issue? How have you dealt with it? Do you purposely dress down in order to fit in? Or do you stand your ground and set the stylish example?

There were great responses to my recent post on what you wear when you’re feeling blue. For many, having an off day is about wearing a tried and true outfit combination in comfortable fabrics and muted colours. Some even dress down to reflect their mood.  Nothing too out there or eye-catching.

Others deal with their blue mood by wearing a colourful dress, bright lipstick, fun shoes, a new accessory or flirty skirt. They dress up, and use their outfit to change their state of mind. Obviously there is no right and wrong — this is a personal thing.

I fall in the second group. It’s all about bright colours, strong colour contrasts and bold patterns. Knowing that I’m making a strong visual statement with my outfit renews my energy levels and makes me feel alive again. I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror during the day and my outfit literally shocks me into a better mood.

The picture above shows what I wore on my second blue day last week. I volunteered at Dress For Success Seattle, so smart casual was appropriate. The checked turquoise and cream retro trapeze coat is eye-catching to say the least, especially when paired with the high contrast backdrop of my black cowl neck tunic.

No more blue days though. I’m back to being my happy self and wearing all sorts of outfit combinations, from the bright and frivolous to the sophisticated and monochromatic. But always having fun with fashion no matter what.

Woohooo!!! Three cheers and hallelujah — one of my fashion prayers has been answered. I never thought I’d see the day, but it’s right there in black and white in Vogue’s Accessory Guide for Spring 2010. Move over sky high stilettos and platform wedges, you’ve got low heel competition. KILLER.

I’m giddy with excitement at the prospect of seeing a flood of one to two and half inch heeled shoes in stores. No flood yet, but I’m hopeful that Jeffery Campbell and Donald Pliner’s Spring collections are the start of good things to come.

As affiliates to many retail and fashion brands, we receive a steady stream of notifications about sales that they are running. I have occasionally posted these in “Sale Alert” blog posts. In order to organize things a little better, and also to keep the blog focused on non-commercial topics, we’ve decided to use these notifications to create a special section for sale alerts in the YLF store.

On the front page of the store you will see a new tab called “sales”. Clicking on that tab will take you to a list of the latest sales that we know about. There you can read a short description of the sale, comment on the sale if you have anything to share and read the comments that other people have left.

You will also notice a new section on the front page of the blog (today it is between the 3rd and 4th blog entries) that tells you about the most recent sales.

Let us know what you think of this new feature, and if you can think of ways that we could make it more useful.