The fashion world holds youth in high regard. Models are usually in their teens or early twenties. Most fashion bloggers are in their twenties and thirties. Older celebrities are “smoothed out” by Photoshop to look younger in magazines. And the media onslaught of information on “how to look younger” is absolutely relentless. 

Somewhere along the line our society made the implicit assumption that after we reach a certain age we should suddenly adopt the goal of looking younger than we are. Most of us become aware that we are past this point when we start to see physical signs of aging. For a while, we hope that we’ll defy the aging thing because we’re special, but it catches up with everyone. Good genes and a careful skin regimen can only go so far.

Aging will always be a tough issue. After all, it is a reminder of our mortality. But the combination of a society that fears the aging process and a trillion dollar industry that reinforces these fears makes it a lot tougher than it needs to be.

I’m 43 and the visible signs of aging are well and truly here. I have hectic laughter lines, crow’s feet, drooping jowls, a spindly neck, a sagging bust line, countless spider veins, and feet that have become fussier with each passing year. Our bodies all show signs of older age in different ways, and this is how my body shows my age. It is what it is. 

I cannot turn back the clock, so I can’t reverse the signs of aging without “having work done”. For some things I might take that route — for example, last year I had a procedure to remove some of the spider veins on my legs — but for the most part I will try hard to embrace these “undesirable” physical changes. I will think of the aging process as a rite of passage. I’ve made it this far, and this is the next chapter of my life.

All of us will strike a different balance. When it comes to holding on to one’s youth, I don’t for one moment judge the decisions other people make about which battles they choose to fight and which ones they simply surrender. Accepting these physical changes is much easier said than done. It’s a shock to see them in the mirror, especially when your mind and spirit feel stronger than ever. And when society seems intent on penalizing you for aging.

I dress women of all ages, sizes, and body types for a living, so I am privileged to have a very realistic vantage point on the aging process. It inspires me enormously when I see my clients and YLF forum members having fun with fashion and looking fabulous at every age beyond mine. But more than that, I am constantly humbled by their wisdom, and by the inner beauty that is the product of their rich experiences. And even as I am critical of my own signs of aging, I find myself marveling at their outer beauty.

Getting your head around the fact that “wrinkles are fine” requires lots of cognitive discipline, some soul searching, and a certain amount of denial. But it all gets a lot easier if you focus less on superficial signs of aging and more on what is truly important. Yes, some of our outer beauty changes, but our inner beauty benefits from our experiences.

There is beauty at every age. The sooner you embrace the next phase of your own beauty, the easier it will be to stop fighting the aging process and start celebrating the miraculous journey that is your life.

Here are some interesting Nordstrom items from the sea of black and grey we’ve been seeing at retail over the last few seasons. This list has several V-neck options. The neckline is resurfacing, which has made some of my clients very happy. Grab them as you see them because they might not be around for long. 

• Kenneth Cole New York Hudson Leather Flat: I’m in love with these in the black and white and will get them soon. They are so, so comfy, and have arch support too. Soft, cushioning, buttery, graphic and refined. A perfect Summer shoe for people like me who prefer to wear closed toe shoes year round. Also available in black. 
• Kenneth Cole New York Ciao Ciao Oxford: A versatile oxford that adds edge to girly outfits. 
• Eileen Fisher Washable Wool V-Neck Tunic: My heart skipped a beat when my almost 6 foot tall, size 12/14 client tried this on in the dressing room. The cut is genius. Plenty of volume with plenty of structure. Gorgeous drape and non-scratch. My client was enamored with the piece herself, so much so that she ripped off the tags in the dressing room, paid for it, and wore it for the rest of the day. Go Team Wear. 
• Eileen Fisher Crewneck Tunic: A flattering flowing cut in a thick rayon jersey knit. Read the rave reviews. 
• Sejour Envelope Back Tee (Plus): Another genius cut with just enough volume and structure. A great V-neck for the shorter neck and/or larger bust. Check out the fun back detailing. 
• NYDJ Barbara Stretch Black Bootcut Jeans (Plus): A fantastic shape and fit. The fabric is thick, providing extra structure. Read the rave reviews. 
• Michael Kors Zip Detail: Modern, sleek, tailored and a little avant-garde. Love the gold trim and low stance.  
• Free People Textured Stripe Linen Blend Blazer: When we look for these types of Summer blazers in July, we can’t find them, so sometimes it’s a good idea to buy things in advance. I love this piece on petite and/or curvy, short waisted gals. It’s softly tailored and flirty, but not overly feminine. Check out the fun back chevron stripe. 
• Kenneth Cole New York Beverlie Jacket: Modern, minimal and interesting. 
• Eileen Fisher Roll Sleeve Crinkled Jacket: I have several happy clients in this interesting casual topper. It is a repeat style from last year and is available in a warm stone-grey or bright tomato red. The crinkle fabric is sublime and the architectural silhouette is arty and creative. You might need to size down a size. 
• Bobeau Woven Track Pants: A nice way to try the baggy and slouchy pants trend at a more affordable price. 
• French Connection Zip Code Clutch: A good size and fun asymmetrical zipper closure. 

I love to wear black in combination with shades of white and brights, so I never stop looking at black wardrobe items for my own style. While I’m not all that fond of grey, it is fantastic with white and citron, which are both colours I wear often. So I am not opposed to adding grey to my wardrobe, very carefully. 

One of my style goals for 2014 was to update my eyewear. I wear specs all day, except when I’m cooking or at the computer, and I have three pairs in rotation. The newest of these is 5 years old, so it is definitely time for a style and prescription update. 

In the past I have always bought eyewear in a specialized, brick-and-mortar eyeglasses store. For me, specs are like jewellery, so I’m very particular. Frames can be handmade works of art, with quality, craftsmanship and detailing that are sublime. I also enjoy the retail environment, the process, the service, and the assortment of styles available in these stores. 

On the other hand, new companies like Warby Parker and Rivet & Sway offer a compelling alternative. The model is convenient — you choose several pairs and they send them to you to try at no cost — and the prices are much, much lower than traditional eyeglasses stores.

As much as I wanted to try the new online model, I couldn’t find anything even close to the aesthetic I was looking for in their ranges. Even if I had found frames that I liked, I must admit that I would miss the uniqueness of a pair chosen from a specialized store.

After trying on frames in all sorts of shapes and colours, I found myself at Market Optical in University Village, Seattle for the final cut. These frames, shown below, were special ordered so that I could see them in different colours. Sometimes changing the colour of a set of frames makes all the difference. Most stores will do special orders for you to try, but will require a deposit before doing so. 

I am particularly fussy about the fit of my frames, and uncompromising about the following: 

1. No nose-pads because I find them very uncomfortable.
2. The top part of the frames must follow the line of my brow very deliberately, 
3. The frames must “lift” at the bottom corners near my cheekbones. No drooping. 
4. My eyes must be centered in the frames.

I find it hard to find frames that fit well. My head is quite small relative to my facial features, so I often feel overwhelmed by frames. Kiddies frames do not work at all because my eyes are too big, and adult frames are often too wide and deep. And wearing ultra trendy “geek-chic” oversized specs doesn’t work with my features.

Aesthetically I wanted frames that were softer and deeper than the Retro, Graphic and Sporty ones I have today. They have to work with my style descriptors, Modern, Simple, Clean, Dressy and Bold, and not be overly dramatic, arty, or oversized. 

This is the pair I chose. Greg and I loved these bright apple green frames best because their fit, colour and style integrity were spot on. Chunky, yet refined and interesting. They add a softer element to my outfits (another style goal) and make my dark green eyes look greener. Not to mention that this shade of sour apple or lime green is my favourite colour. If you’re a golden oldie YLF’er, you might remember that this was the predominant colour on the site when we launched in 2006. 

Just for fun, here are some thoughts on the other pairs that made my final shortlist:

• The dark blue frames are a pretty colour and flattering fit from the front, but two things made them not the frames for me. First, Greg thought they looked a little conservative and not modern enough for my style. And second, I didn’t like the narrow width of the temples. Although my old black half-rimmed retro cat’s eye specs have narrow temples, they work with the overall daintier scale of those frames. I much prefer wider temples on deeper frames.
• The red frames are a good shape, although the angular bottom corners are a little harsh. I first tried these on in grey and felt very “Hugo Boss”, which wasn’t a bad thing because I like the style integrity of that designer. Knowing that I’m not a fan of grey, Greg suggested I try them in red instead. But neither of us liked this shade of red. Ultimately, I felt like these frames were wearing me so they were cut from the list.
• The black frames are by the same designer as the red. A very similar shape, but smaller and more round. The shape is flattering, and the rounder bottom corners soften the entire look of the frames. But we did not like the harshness of the black, and the temples were a little long for my small head.  
• The white frames were a strong contender and took second place after the apple green. A fabulous shade of white, a flattering shape, super modern and simple, chunky yet refined, nice and bold, yet adequately soft. Greg loved them until he saw the fancy silver hardware on the temples. That was a dealbreaker for me too. Had the temples been plain, I might have come home with these frames.  

Wearing high-end eyewear is part of my high-low style, and it’s worth every penny to have a pair that I absolutely love. I received them yesterday and couldn’t bear to take them off. The colour makes me so very happy, and it doesn’t hurt that I can see a whole lot better with the new prescription. 

Apart from wide legs and more avant-garde styles, we’re down to straight legs, boyfriend jeans and bootcut silhouettes when we’re not wearing skinnies or jeggings. 

I haven’t worn bootcut jeans for years and don’t even own a pair these days. I am, however, going to retry a pair of baby bootcuts because the silhouette feels fresh amidst a retail landscape with an oversupply of extra tight skinnies. I love the look of baby bootcuts with refined, low heeled pointy toe footwear, so I’m excited to bring the updated silhouette back into my wardrobe. 

As for the poll, I can’t choose between straight legs and boyfriend jeans. I love both silhouettes equally and wear them frequently. I love the volume on the lower leg of straight legs, which are wider than skinnies, but not as wide as bootcuts. I also wear them roomier all over which is a nice change from skinnies. I wear my boyfriends baggy and slouchy, which makes for another nice departure from tight, tight, tight bottoms. So I’m sitting this one out on the bench with a slice of Greg’s made-from-scratch buffalo mozzarella and olive pizza. Choose your team and no batting for more than one side.