Learn From My Shopping Mistakes

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Angie is co-founder of YLF and its resident fashion stylist.

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Learn From My Shopping Mistakes

— by Angie

on November 28, 2016

I help others shop for a living, but that doesn’t mean that I’m immune from making my own shopping mistakes. I’ve learned from them (sometimes the hard way), and I’ve become a more savvy and successful shopper because of it. Each season I have a wardrobe that I’m more in love with than the season before, but it’s taken time and patience to get there.

This is what I’ve learned:

1. Never Say Never When it Comes to Fashion

Keep an open mind and poison eye to a minimum when you shop for new-to-you pieces, because the item you thought you disliked last season, or even last month, might grow on you sooner than you think. This is especially important when you’re bored with your style, which is why I keep the trends flowing through my own seasonal purchases.

2. Don’t Shop for an imaginary Climate

After living in hot and humid Hong Kong and Cape Town for most of my life, I was used to having a large inventory of what I call “proper Summer clothes”. I did not change my shopping habits when we moved to Europe and the US. As a result I amassed a lot of clothing that was inappropriate for my climate. It took me years to get that right because shopping for Spring fashion is my weakness. Now I keep a tight inventory of Summery items because I live in Seattle and run cold.

3. Choose your Neutrals Carefully

I used to purchase lots of items in black and charcoal thinking that I would wear them because they’re neutral and “go with everything”. They were often orphaned because large doses of these two neutrals do not make me happy. Black footwear and outerwear especially does not make me happy. What does make me happy is large doses of light neutrals like cream and white, and dark neutrals like ink blue and navy. I’m also loving neutral earth tones like cognac and toffee, and there’s even a smattering of light pearl grey in the mix.

4. Keep The Colour Flowing

Getting the right assortment of neutrals is one thing, but an overly neutral wardrobe doesn’t make me happy either. I’ve learned to keep a stream of the right colours flowing through my purchases as I refresh for the season.

5. Prioritize Structured Items

Although I can be attracted to highly unstructured, very drapey, and avant-garde clothing items, it normally does not work on my slight frame and narrow shoulder line despite being 5ft 6. When I’ve purchased these items they languished in my closet, because I just don’t feel great in them. I look best in semi-structured and structured outfits, and that’s that.

6. Focus on the ITEM not the Price

Many years ago, I used to be attracted to something because the price was right although the item was wrong. Allow this shopping habit to escalate, and you end up with a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear. And ironically, it’s a colossal waste of money. I’m happy to say that I do not wear sales goggles, and am a lot more discerning about whether the item will earn a spot in my wardrobe regardless of the price.

7. Duplicate Items that are Signature to your Style

I believe in a moderate sized wardrobe, and as a result have learned that item duplication is a GOOD thing if the items are signature to your style. That’s why I rarely allow the fear of duplication to stop me from adding items like cream or white footwear, white jeans, lace dresses, chunky pearl necklaces, sour green toppers and tomato red tops to my wardrobe.

8. No Uncomfortable Footwear

Unless they are “siting shoes” for fancy occasions, no more heels higher than two inches. The Sam Edelman Okala pumps are the only exception because I can miraculously walk in those quite comfortably. For the rest, heels between half an inch and one and a half inches are best for me.

9. Don’t Shop When You’re Not in the Mood

I’ve found that if I’m shopping when I’m hungry, tired, distracted or cold, I make bad decisions. I’m definitely more focused when I feel like shopping.

10. When in Doubt, Ask a Friend or Significant Other

Find sounding boards whose opinions you trust. If I’m unsure about the way an item or outfit looks, my in-house fashion stylist (hubby Greg) helps me make the right decision. His fresh and objective eye is an invaluable resource.

Over to you. What have you learned from your own shopping mistakes?

Shopping Strategy

70 comments · Add a comment

Forum conversations about this post

Shopping Mistakes: Not keeping "occasion outfits" at the ready — by April
Choosing Neutrals — by

cheryl

Veteran

These are wonderful tips for everyone! I need follow your advice on paying full price. I tend to only bargain, clearance and thrift shop because of a small budget but am learning it’s better to buy a few pieces that you love even if it’s not on sale! I am thinking about a new shopping strategy to put into place in the new year.

November 28, 2016 at 4:29 am

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I really can appreciate this post Angie.

I found myself nodding in agreement.

Themes that are continuously running. Happiness, and never say never.

These can truly apply to the foundation of a fully lived life.

I would add be open to the journey. It is never ending.

Great and we’ll done. Thank you

November 28, 2016 at 4:29 am

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Oh meant to say I agree with the price point quality over quantity. I feel as if that is why I purchase from independent artist and clothing makers.

November 28, 2016 at 4:32 am

Janet

(website)

Veteran

All great lessons! I’m getting better about these, but I’m still learning. I’m being more careful about purchasing from retailers with very restrictive return policies. Sometimes I just don’t know whether something will be a hit or a miss until I get it home and have a chance to put it to the real-world test of: “do I want to wear this?” It allows me to be a bit more adventurous with my purchases and my style while still having that extra “I can return it” stopgap in place.

So, Angie, I would be curious to learn more about a specific shopping mistake you’ve made recently, and what you learned from it. Would you be willing to share? I think sometimes we can really learn from those specific examples.

November 28, 2016 at 5:04 am

Gail

Veteran

Wonderful tips. I am SLOWLY managing to ask myself all these questions before I purchase. Sometimes I listen to myself and sometimes not ! Seriously though on the whole I am improving, I’ve gone from a D to a C+

November 28, 2016 at 5:04 am

Sisi

Veteran

I have to print out this list and keep it in sight! Thank you for the very useful tips. My “historical” shopping mistakes have been: buying for non dominant season, buying for imaginary liefestyle, buying beautiful but uncomfortable high heel shoes, buying when not in the right mood. I would very much like to add more color to my wardrobe, but this is difficult: I see a lot of dark neutrals around!

November 28, 2016 at 5:42 am

Runcarla

Veteran

Having realized I’ve let the colour seep out of my wardrobe (and thus some of my happiness factor) I’m committing to put it back in this coming season.

November 28, 2016 at 5:54 am

RobinF

Veteran

What a great list! Some of these apply to me but some I am still figuring out, especially regarding what my style is and what colors work best for me. I agree with Janet’s comment regarding generous return policies, sometimes it takes me a little while to decide if it is a keeper or not. And love your first point about never say never. So true and something I need to remember!

November 28, 2016 at 5:54 am

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This is a wonderful list, Angie, and it’s visible in your wardrobe for anyone who has been following your journey.

My biggest shopping mistakes before I started reading and learning from YLF:

Buying on sale/ shopping *only* discount/ thrift (despite poor options in my city for thrift).

Buying for an imaginary lifestyle.

Buying for the wrong climate.

Buying items that attracted me but didn’t suit me. (Hello drapey avant-garde).

Of all these, the trap I still fall into occasionally is buying for an imaginary lifestyle. This year, for instance, I purchased several new booties to upgrade/ replace items that were becoming worn or dated. Well, guess what? The pairs I’m wearing are the booties that can take the elements and a bit of rough treatment. I love the others (CK cream, Topshop silver and red) but they’re simply too dressy/ fragile for the life I currently lead. It’s frustrating that I keep making that mistake. The reason I fall into this trap so easily is that our spring/ summer weather *does* allow me to wear sandals or shoes at an equivalent level of delicacy/ refinement and I wear them frequently. So I always hope against hope that the light coloured booties made from delicate leather will end up working for me, too. And alas….so far, not so much. Ah well. I do have a row of beautiful booties to smile at when I open my closet!

November 28, 2016 at 5:54 am

Tanya

Veteran

What a great set of guidelines, Angie! I am nodding my head at all of them, especially the comfy footwear. After 10 years with YLF, I have become much better with avoiding shopping mistakes, but still make some of them. My main ones in the past years are buying too many similar items and thus splitting wears; and similarly overbuying into a specific trend and once it is out having to get rid of lots of items.

November 28, 2016 at 5:56 am

Suz

(website)

Veteran

ETA: I think these lists will be personal. Angie’s “Keep the colour flowing” (which also applies to me) might be someone else’s “Prioritize black and grey items over all others!” And so on. It has to do with our individual needs and happiness.

November 28, 2016 at 5:58 am

merwoman

Veteran

Great list, and I’m nodding my head in agreement with Suz’s post regarding footwear. The bulk of my mistakes/learning points have to do with shoes and boots. There are so many factors to consider. I’d like to say I’m improving in this area…but, truth be told it’s a struggle.

November 28, 2016 at 6:08 am

Sisi

Veteran

Oh, sorry, that was not the right answer to your question. From my shopping mistakes I learnt to keep in mind the following things before going shopping:
– think carefully of what you really need
– don’t buy anything just because you like it
– stay away from high heels!
– be careful with jackets (I adore jackets but then I don’t wear them much for various reasons)
– don’t buy anything just because it is cheap
– don’t buy anything that is in the right shape but in the wrong color – you will not wear it.
And despite this, I continue to make mistakes …

November 28, 2016 at 6:09 am

jlpp

Still shopping for my dream life of daily artsy events and my desire for a cooler climate and layers. Less so, but it still happens. Much better about watching shoe height and remembering I am rough on delicate shoes.

November 28, 2016 at 6:23 am

SW Ann

Veteran

Oh my gosh….I need to copy this and keep it attached to my credit card! Despite the fact that none of these are great revelations after following ylf for awhile, it is easy to be seduced by color or price at a weak moment….we are human after all. Thanks for the enumeration and explanation of the lessons you have learned. I will definitely use these for myself. Your advice has made such a difference in my choices, as I have become more and more discerning, and less “settling” as I have come to realize that I will not have to go naked, and I have nice clothes and I can wait until I find “just the right thing”……

November 28, 2016 at 6:26 am

Susie

Veteran

Great lessons here, Angie. I’ve definitely gotten better at shopping but still make occasional mistakes. In the past, I fell prey to buying because it was a good price or buying without really loving it. I had too many things that I wore once or twice and didn’t reach for again. My closet was filled with clothes rather than a wardrobe. I didn’t really think in terms of building a wardrobe before finding YLF several years ago.

While I agree with ‘never say never,’ I also don’t want to try every trend; I would rather choose what works for me and be ok with not jumping on every bandwagon. I am more interested in having a wardrobe filled with things that work together and that still make me happy beyond their initial season. But while I want to limit the number of pieces in my wardrobe in order to insure that things do get worn enough times, I am still drawn to new. When there’s a season when I am loving what’s available, I want it all!

I did recently notice a lack of color in my closet (though I still love my inks, blacks and grays) and am now waiting on several tops I’ve ordered to try and add more color. They are still primarily darker shades but that’s my preference for fall/winter. But I was thinking of you, Angie, when I added a cream sweater to my order!

Season-wise, I am the opposite. I adore fall and winter clothes but we have a long hot summer. Right now I am reminding myself that with December days away, I will only have 3-4 more months to wear my cold weather stuff. Which means I have plenty and should stop shopping!

November 28, 2016 at 6:27 am

Patricia

I had several big shopping errors: shopping for an imaginary lifestyle where I would NEED fancy formal clothes and dressier items. I was spending most of my shopping money for a very very tiny part of my life.

Next, if something was on sale,and looked good on me, I’d buy it, whether I actually needed it or not. I could say no to anything except a bargain.

And I kept buying the same thing over and over. A little duplication of basics may be good, 12 pair of black pants nearly identical to each other? Not so good.

These issues are mostly in the past. After a gigantic weed out where I confronted all my fashion mistakes over and over, I’ve put myself on a fashion diet. I only replace basics as they wear out or I find a much better version.

My current motto is “buy less, but buy better”.

November 28, 2016 at 6:29 am

Eliza

Veteran

Great tips, Angie. I am getting better at some of the trouble spots; a few continue to require vigilance on my part. “Never say never” has both elevated my happiness factor and created a couple of closet orphans. I am learning to the invest less heavily in items that may not ultimately feel enough like me to get worn. Agree that flexible return policies help there. I also am learning that if, over a time, an unexpected piece keeps calling, it is worthwhile to pay attention.

I do a fair amount of duplicating, particularly of super comfortable footwear, wardrobe basics and colors of tops with varying silhouettes. As I get more refined about preferences, becoming specific about what works is easier and I shop more carefully. It is also becoming clearer what to splurge on. YLF is always a source of knowledge and inspiration. Thank you all.

November 28, 2016 at 6:36 am

April

Veteran

Most of my mistakes have come from NOT buying the things I need rather than from buying things I don’t need. The first two are exceptions:

No high heels. No bright colors unless the item is a handbag.

Here are the ones I have learned from YLF to address by aiming some of my shopping in this direction. The mistake I was making before was leaving empty spaces in my wardrobe where these items should have been:

DO buy “occasion outfits” BEFORE the occasion presents itself, to prevent “occasion panic” when the occasion inevitably does present itself. Because it will.

In fact, do this for several seasons, if you live in a four-season climate. It doesn’t do much good to have the perfect dress for a summer wedding if your occasion arises and it’s a destination wedding at a snowy ski retreat.

(Learned that one from Angie and have been forever grateful for it.)

If you live in a place where you need some sort of coat three seasons of the year, it’s a good idea to have multiple coats if you can do so without causing economic strain. Don’t start getting rid of coats merely because you have an artificial idea that one winter and one spring coat is all you “should” have. Only get rid of it if you hate it or it doesn’t fit.

Likewise, if you have a pool, it’s okay to have multiple bathing suits. There’s nothing worse than pulling on a clammy suit that hasn’t dried yet from your last swim because, as with the coats, you carry an artificial idea that “one bathing suit is all anyone ‘should’ have.”

I guess I used to be an “underbuyer,” even though I felt like I shopped a lot. I just wasn’t buying the things I actually needed.

November 28, 2016 at 6:40 am

Chris987

Veteran

What a terrific list Angie. I made a LOT of these mistakes before I found YLF. I still struggle with buying only at low price points and focusing on structure rather than flowy looks, but I’m doing much better at the rest.

I love your examples of how some of these took you a while to learn. Hearing about the different climates you have lived in is especially enlightening. Also love that many of these lessons apply, with just a little modification, to life in general. For example going with colors that make you happy in clothing, home decor, etc is such a good idea! Doing simple things that make you happy is so important.

It cheers me up to know that others keep making mistakes too….part of being human, no doubt!

November 28, 2016 at 6:40 am

SarahTheWhite

Veteran

This is an incredible list, and I can identify with all of it. I am learning recently to be much more discerning about foot wear, and my feet are happier for it! I have also always struggled with settling for items that are almost right – perfect shape in an iffy color that I won’t wear more than once, or prefect color in a shape that has to be tweaked or fused with. I keep falling into the trap that I’m never going to find anything better, and then I do find the perfect thing but can’t get it because I’ve already spent the money on five lesser items that sit in my closet and mock me. So I am definitely still learning, but thanks to your wonderful example I have recently realized that I’m feeling much less desperate when I shop. Part of that is because I finally do have enough pieces that I love so I can shop for fun and walk away with nothing if the perfect items don’t present themselves. I also think that I’m finally understanding the concept that my wardrobe will constantly evolve and never be done and settled, so I can move slowly and cautiously, enjoying the journey as well as the results. Thank you for your part in that!

November 28, 2016 at 6:49 am

Joy

Veteran

Great list, Angie. We need to be reminded and learn from mistakes. I need to be wary of nice pieces in good brands that are discounted, especially if fit is a bit off or too dressy for my life style.
I have learned to buy the best I can afford after realizing that most items that don’t last are the cheapo ones.
I’ve learned to not buy place holders. The money spent on them and room that they take up would better spent on what I really want.
I need to stop and make a plan for at least the season before shopping.
I have nearly stopped buying off season. I did buy a sleeveless blouse recently but liked the pattern and the way it could pull black and blush together.
I need to remember your words about keeping the color flowing, especially for winter. I’ve been concentrating too much on adding light neutrals lately.

November 28, 2016 at 6:50 am

zoiechic

Nodding my head to many of these. I am trying to be better about buying for my real life which is kids, dog, & outdoor activities!

When I look back over this past year and identify items that didn’t perform well and are already departed from my closet, I see two trends. One is that I had several items which I really liked, but the fabric ended up being poor quality and pilled very quickly. Not sure how to prevent this absolutely in the future, but for now I am just aware of those particular brands and trying to be more careful when assessing items to look carefully at the quality of the fabric in addition to fit, color, & style.

Next I had a couple of mistakes with jeans, essentially because I really wanted the pairs in question to work, one for the style and one for the color, but they did not ever make me feel fab, so out they went. More patience is needed!

One thing I am slowly realizing is that there will always be more items to try in the future, so if a particular shopping trip does not pan out, that’s ok!

November 28, 2016 at 6:50 am

Roxanna

Veteran

Angie – i love this, and I love your honesty. What really resonated me was ‘choose your neutrals carefully’. I too used to buy a lot of black because, what doesn’t go with black? What I didn’t realize is that to my eye, I didn’t like high contrast with black (which ruled out a lot of my colour pairings) and low contrast with black made me feel dark and drab. So, I actually had almost nothing to ‘go’ with black in my closet, and those items languished. Now that I am gravitating towards neutrals, I have a lot of pearl grey and blush tones that pop with black, so I’ve brought it back, and phased out the warmer cognac and burgundy tones I wore when my hair was warmer. It seems like a small change, but it’s been critical in helping me pull my wardrobe together.

November 28, 2016 at 6:52 am

Aziraphale

Veteran

Great suggestions, Angie! I used to fall prey to a few of those too — especially saying “never” (and then having to eat my words later, once my eye adjusted!). Now I make myself keep an open mind. There are still a few things I haven’t yet warmed up to, despite years of exposure, but there are many that I have.

I’ve never had sales goggles (I think I have the opposite: fear of “what’s wrong with it” if it’s on sale!), and I cheerfully duplicate items I love. The difference now with this second one is that I duplicate in the same colour, rather than a different colour. If I buy the same item in two different colours, I’ll invariably wear the first colour about six times more often.

The only thing I’ve learned that’s not on your list is to avoid colours that I like but that make me look like I’ve got the flu. No more cobalt blue or lavender for me!

November 28, 2016 at 6:52 am

JAileen

Veteran

It’s hard to believe you used to be like us! It gives me hope that someday I can learn to avoid mistakes too.

November 28, 2016 at 6:54 am

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Yes to all of these!

In order to unearth the mistakes I was making, I started tracking what I wore. I’m not the most data-driven person in the world, but the process helped me immensely. I made a spreadsheet of my wardrobe items by category, and noted every day for a month or two what I wore.

This method uncovered my mistake of buying far too many tops and not enough bottoms, for example. It also helped me see that I was making the mistake of skimping on the basics in favor of “fun” items. For example, I discovered that I badly needed to duplicate camis, tanks and leggings because they were getting very frequent wear. With those essential purchases made, my wardrobe functions much better.

November 28, 2016 at 7:08 am

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Thank you for sharing your list Angie. Not buying uncomfortable shoes is my number one mistake, but I am doing much better. I am also much improved in the imaginary lifestyle department, although sometimes my imagination does get the better of me!

November 28, 2016 at 7:22 am

Sigrid

Great tips!My list of things to keep in mind, is very similar to Sisi’s.

While I try to have a small and cohesive wardrobe, I do have clothes I have never worn or worn just ones. Most av them are dresses. While I do need dresses for special occasions several times a year, I keep reaching for the same dresses over and over again. The ones I don’t reach for are either to dressy or to revealing. I don’t have a ife style where I need many of those, unfortunaltely!
I’ve also learned not to make purchases to try to make something work that doesn’t. I’ve done this several times and only end up with more items I don’tlove and resulting outfits that I don’t love either!

November 28, 2016 at 7:24 am

Peri

Veteran

I’m always torn between the opposite pole mistakes of buying for occasions that never happen and April’s idea of buying before the occasion presents itself so you don’t have to hurry shop and get something last minute from what you can find. Twice I’ve bought beautiful LBDs when I don’t live the LBD life and got no use out of them at all. Several other times I’ve had to cobble something together that I wasn’t thrilled with because I wasn’t prepared. I’d love advice on that conundrum!

And I’m also agreeing with Janet about return policies. I’d love to support local but local has ended up being shopping mistakes several times when something I thought would work didn’t once I got it home. Now I won’t support local unless local supports me with a reasonable return policy.

November 28, 2016 at 7:30 am

Alexandra

(website)

Veteran

This is a great list of lessons learned! I found myself nodding along as I read it. My main issue is buying for the wrong climate. We move so often in this military life that by the time I figure out how to dress in one place, we’re packing to go to the next assignment halfway across the planet.

November 28, 2016 at 7:34 am

Bonnie

Veteran

Your list works for me, too. Another thing I learned from YLF is to find items that work well together and let the orphans go.

November 28, 2016 at 8:40 am

cindysmith

Veteran

Shopping while hungry or sad has produced far too many mistakes in my closet. It took some effort to break that habit.

November 28, 2016 at 8:43 am

Valentine

I’m interested in seasonless dressing…fabrics and colors

November 28, 2016 at 8:53 am

Mirjana

Veteran

These are wonderful tips for everyone, thanks a lot.

November 28, 2016 at 8:55 am

Sue

This list is very helpful to me. I do have to always think twice when I see the loose drapey tops – so abundantly displayed in stores, catalogs and online. Since I am 5’2″, I KNOW these styles do not flatter my shape. Like you, I look better in fitted and semi-fitted styles. Thanks for the timely reminders!

November 28, 2016 at 9:14 am

rachylou

Veteran

Everything I know about shopping, I learned from you, Angie. Most recently applied lesson: Try it on!!

November 28, 2016 at 9:15 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

It’s a pleasure, ladies. Lots of resonating….

Sounds like a plan, Cheryl, Chris, Sarah, Joy, zoeichic, Susie, Sisi, Robin, Eliza, Beth Ann, Aziraphale, bonnie & Cynthia.

Be open to the journey. Nice one, Ledonna.

HAH, Gail. I’m sure you’ll be an A+ in no time.

You crack me up, JAileen and Shevia.

Janet, a great point about return policies, (although I LOVE to shop when I travel). To answer your question, I can’ think of a recent shopping mistake I actually made, but I did recently prevent a potential problem just in time. My Fall & Winter refresher purchases were looking very neutral, which I know doesn’t make me happy during the course of the season. Hence I added three new bright jumpers, a chartreuse coat, and chartreuse scarf in the last six weeks. Phew!

High five, Runcarla.

Thanks, Suz. What a lovely thing to say. And right back at you. Furthermore, regarding the boots – and that goes for merwoman too – can you think of your fashion boots as having a shorter lifespan, and just wear them?

Tanya, purchasing fewer items of a trend you love is a good way to go.

April, good job filling those empty closet spaces with items you DO need. And yes, in our climates we need an assortment of coats across various thicknesses.

Roxanna, that’s a great personal epiphany about the colour black.

Laura, that’s a good way to keep you accountable to what you actually wear and therefore need.

That DOES seem challenging, Alexandra. Best of luck.

November 28, 2016 at 9:18 am

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Angie, thank you. That’s a good suggestion. Putting it to effect today. With two of the booties, though, it might prove difficult as their soles are too “slippy” — I need to look into bottoms that can go on them to stop them from slipping on sidewalks. I wore the red ones recently on a damp day and nearly took a spill!

I also want to add another shopping mistake of the past — maybe my biggest one — that I’ve finally learned to avoid (for the most part): Don’t buy because of colour alone! Colour attracts me so much and if I find something in a beloved colour I’m always tempted — but it also has to be the right shape and fit with the rest of the closet or it’s no bargain.

And I also agree wholeheartedly with April — FAILING to buy can be as big a mistake as overbuying. I never used to have a special occasion capsule; now I do and wow, am I the happier for it, even though these items rarely get worn.

November 28, 2016 at 9:33 am

Dana

(website)

Veteran

Fab post! I’m rushing out the door and will have to read more posts and comment on my mistakes…like you, continually perfecting my wardrobe!

November 28, 2016 at 9:40 am

lisap

I can relate to some of what Susie and Patricia said, especially Susie’s comment about buying too many things and still not having a “wardrobe”. I buy too much. Bottom line. I love clothes, but I have also trained myself to buy clothes to fill some kind of emotional hole and am always looking to a piece of clothing to be that magical thing that will finally make me look good. I have far too many pieces in my closet – and because I am pretty particular about what I like and will wear, I have a lot of the same thing : black pants, jeans, grey sweaters, black boots. etc. I think the one thing that “saves me” is my disinterest in on-line shopping. It stems from personal/financial reasons, but it has also stopped me from going totally nuts on clothes buying. I don’t live in a city with the most fantastic resources , but in a way, that keeps my wardrobe as limited as possible. My goal still is to pare down – way down. And hopefully someday I’ll figure that part out. It takes a lot of skill, time and patience to turn a pile of clothes into a functioning wardrobe, and that’s where I still fail and have a lot to learn.

November 28, 2016 at 9:51 am

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Almost all my blunders involve dressier clothing. Either not wearing evening clothes more than once because the 8 events were for the same 4 cousins and I didn’t want to be in the same dress in family photos. And not realizing until the 8th event that separates would be more useful.

And I have either an ongoing style shift or a mistake. I bought a lot of dresses at NAS thinking I could wear them in winter, but I’m too cold. And I liked how 2 of them looked in person, but later I discovered, not in photos. I’m going to try them with warmer leggings or tights, and by themselves again also. So, either I am shifting to more dresses, or I bought for an imaginary dressier life.

And I have two fancier items that need sleeves to work, and I haven’t found the right items to go over and under them, respectively.

I fell into an old trap at NAS and bought something for an event in February at my projected size if I had kept losing weight. Wishful thinking and scarcity thinking, worrying that I might have a challenging time finding something seasonally appropriate to wear if I waited.

The good new is my casual wardrobe really works. It all gets worn. I’m going to give myself credit for that.

November 28, 2016 at 10:24 am

klauren

Active Member

Yes, yes, YES! Now if I could just move that imaginary climate to where I live, everything would be terrific!

November 28, 2016 at 10:56 am

Syrie

Active Member

This is an interesting topic. My mistakes? Too many to itemize probably. I rather agree with April that you should have “occasion” stuff in your closet before you need it, so that you’re not panicking when you have to go to a wedding, but that philosophy can lead to buying things you love because they’re beautiful but don’t wear enough. I do have this problem. The way I try to correct though is not to throw things away, but to really focus on creating outfits with all these odd things I love too much to part with, so they’re not orphans or outliers. That’s why I read and love blogs like this one and others — they give me ideas about how to wear things I already have so I don’t feel so guilty about all those mistakes I’ve made and will continue to make.

November 28, 2016 at 11:11 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thanks for your thoughts, ladies. Very interesting.

Suz, thanks for chiming back in. A cobbler can put grippy soles on your boots in two ticks. An easy fix. And colour evokes an incredible amount of emotion, doesn’t it! Good job.

Lisap, despite the challenges you’ve spelled out in your comment, you always look fabulous! You are definitely doing something right.

Barbara Diane, do you have tall boots and the right coat to wear with those dresses? That’s the key to Winter dress wearing.

November 28, 2016 at 11:31 am

Gaylene

Veteran

Great post, Angie! And I agree with Suz follow-up that these lists need to be personal

What I’ve Learned From My Shopping Mistakes:
Don’t buy something just because a similar item was a workhorse in the past. Times change–and so do I.
Be open, but exercise caution. Just because I like it on someone else, or in theory, doesn’t mean it’s right for me.
Never buy when FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is uppermost in my mind. Regret is easier handle than guilt because the dollars stay in my wallet.
Wardrobe essentials are personal so stay away from lists. That classic white shirt stays pristine because it stays put in my closet. Same goes for dressy dresses, skirts, and coats. Put those $$$ into a pair of evening pants and a tuxedo jacket–and real jewels(!)–which make me feel like I’ve won the lottery when I need to get all dressed up.

November 28, 2016 at 11:39 am

Sal

Veteran

The main mistakes I have made (and sometimes continue to make) are not being fussy enough about fit or shape and getting sucked in by the lovely pattern or colour, and over buying tops compared to bottoms. I also really struggle with layering over summer/spring outfits which is often needed in our changeable temperate climate. I have lots of lovely patterned colourful tops in different shapes and styles, but struggle to wear them as I don’t have the right topper to add in.

As a slight aside, I am finding more and more tops have features that make layering a challenge ie splits at the back, bell or dolman sleeves…

November 28, 2016 at 11:42 am

Style Fan

Veteran

Great post Angie. I find it helpful to read all the posts from the members. I can relate to #5. I love the drapey, arty, edgy look. I so want to look avant guarde. And I do not look avant guarde in those clothes. Mr SF kindly told me I looked like a Christmas tree. Well I will stick to semi structured clothing and wear interesting accessories. And that is that.

November 28, 2016 at 12:38 pm

SarahF

Excellent advice. I’m dealing with #4 right now, after coming to the realization that my fall/winter wardrobe (especially when it comes to tops) is lacking some much-needed color. A lot of what I have at the moment is dark/neutral, and it’s just not making me happy. I’m working on it, though!

November 28, 2016 at 1:15 pm

Dana

(website)

Veteran

I’m back and have had time to read posts and reflect on my wardrobe. I think the biggest problem I fall prey to is being too picky about what I buy. Since I’ve learned (finally) what my body type is, Inverted Triangle with wide shoulders and a wide torso, I could say I have a poison eye to anything other than low necks and V-necks, which aren’t the predominant style or as warm in the winter.

As a result, I am severely limited on casual sweaters. (And unfortunately, my shopping budget is severely limited this season.) Professional clothing (esp. tops) is much easier to find, and I feel okay about that part of my wardrobe; however, I am in a big rut with my casual clothes. I think I need to start experimenting more with tops and even potentially buy a few that are JFE but that I love.

November 28, 2016 at 1:16 pm

lisap

Yes to Gaylene’s comments about must-have lists. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson after years and years of lists – but my mistakes come from thinking I have to have a trench coat (which makes me look like a brick house ) or a white shirt (see Gaylene’s comments) or a pencil skirt ( that ship has sailed ). Make your own lists from experience .

November 28, 2016 at 1:38 pm

Brooklyn

Veteran

This is a great topic Angie. I identify with many of the things that have been said. My mistakes usually come from:
Buying for the wrong climate (I love cold weather gear but rarely need it and am better off layering because I overheat easily)
Buying on sale (when I don’t need it or it’s not quite right)
Buying to cheer myself up (see above)
Buying something that I really like the look of but which doesn’t feel right on my sensitive skin (I won’t wear it or will rarely wear it)
Buying colours I like but which don’t suit me (see above)
Buying colours that do suit me in items that don’t fit properly or are otherwise less than perfect (this particularly happens when a colour that works for me is scarce at retail – I miss it so much I grab anything)
Trying something new, eg a new silhouette, that doesn’t work out (I try not to feel bad about this one but experience has taught me to limit expenditure on “experiments”)
I think/hope I am getting pickier and making fewer mistakes. But it’s a work in progress.

November 28, 2016 at 2:45 pm

lpr200

Veteran

I love all these comments, so helpful!
My mistakes, which I now try to be conscious of include:
1. Shopping for my imaginary life
2. Not wearing beautiful clothes because I feel too dressed up, or am afraid to wear an eye catching color, no matter how good it looks on me; this is the one I’m really working on
3. Shopping for an imaginary body– now I try to buy only what works for my current body
4.Holding on to fashion mistakes; they only made me feel worse when I looked at them and they money is already gone! Good bye!
5. Shopping when I feel bored or lonely; being aware of this has helped
6. Wanting more of a good thing– dilutes the good thing (though I am relieved about duplicating signature looks
7. Holding out–especially for pockets!
Wow, this has been so self. Thanks, Angie!

November 28, 2016 at 3:16 pm

Chris987

Veteran

LisaP and Gaylene your comments about thinking you need specific items really hit home with me. I see those lists of “top 10 things every woman must have in her wardrobe” all over the place and it’s easy to fall into believing them, but they are NOT the right list for everyone. It’s taken me a long time to realize that, and to realize that following them exactly can be another huge mistake. For example, I have worn a LBD exactly once in my entire adult life, and a colored one would have been fine for that one Valentine’s Day dinner many years ago. I don’t need one, don’t have one, and the sky hasn’t fallen nor have I been inappropriately attired at events where LBDs are worn

LisaP I also can relate to buying stuff to fill an emotional hole and looking for that magic piece. I haven’t quite figured that one out, but at least I’m making better choices.

November 28, 2016 at 3:30 pm

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Thanks for sharing your lessons-learned with us, Angie. I can identify with a lot of them. And what lisap wrote really resonates with me, too. I think my main problem is just overbuying. I think shopping is too much of a pastime for me; I do it when I’m bored or probably craving something else in my life, and I have a very full wardrobe because of that. I have more things than I can actually wear often enough for it to make sense having them. Probably I could use a good closet edit/intervention. It may not be that I have a lot of unwanted clothes, but I empathize with lisap’s comment about the skill and time required to turn a “pile of clothes into a functioning wardrobe.”

November 28, 2016 at 3:42 pm

Maryanneyoung

This is a very good post, with helpful tips. I have made several shopping mistakes over the years. Like you, I have learned from them and try hard not to repeat them.
Growing up, our clothing had to be practical. I carried that belief into adulthood. As a young adult I tried to build a practical, professional looking wardrobe while on a strict budget. The results were that I had items of clothing that I needed, but they were often in unflattering colors and styles and were cheaply made. I remember my Aha moment….when I saw my picture in the faculty photo. I had a smile on my face but my outfit was boring and I looked much older than my age of 23.
With a very small clothing allowance, I began to shop much more carefully. I carefully selected two scarves with colors and patterns I loved. I also bought a classic navy blue blazer (on discount) and a pair of navy pumps. Those purchases helped me begin my style transformation. I waited until I could afford to buy better quality clothing and made sure I chose flattering styles. I still sometimes missed the mark when it came to colors. I really could have used YLF’s help when I began my career in the early 80s!

November 28, 2016 at 4:02 pm

Darleen

Active Member

Thank you for sharing this list. It has made me feel so much better about the shopping mistakes I’ve made and the money I have wasted doing so. I’ve learned alot and am still learning. My biggest challenge has been changing my clothing needs from the wardrobe of MANY YEARS OF SEATTLE LIVING, where jackets are needed even sometimes in July, to eastern Wash, and summer jackets are “orphans” because it is seldom you need them even in air conditioned buildings from May to October. (Our local joke is that we have 2 weeks in April and 2 weeks in October to wear light weight jackets, before we have to drag out WINTER clothes.) And my mistake is I love “summer” jackets. But that is probably why there are so many of them at the Goodwill, now some of which I have donated back when I find I just don’t use them. (Have to keep a couple for my summer trips to Seattle.)
My next big fashion mistake is wanting some REALLY NICE HANDBAGS, so I bought 2. Spent way more than my budget should have permitted me to. I have since realized that I do much better with cheaper, PVC handbags, because nice leather ones weight way too much for my old shoulders. So I have had to sell them at a great loss on e-bay, and replace them with good looking “plastic”. Forget the rule of you need to buy “really good quality handbags” Live and learn.
Many of my other shopping mistakes have been minor, as I have been aware of my preferred color choices and styles for years, having done wardrobing for sewing clients for 30 years. And the few errors I’ve made I have for the most part been able to re-home to a really good consignment shop in the area, but she doesn’t take summer jackets. (Wonder why!)

But really good article Angie, love it.

November 28, 2016 at 4:34 pm

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Angie, thanks for the suggestions. I wore booties with them.
I bought my first knee high boots in years two years ago. With stretching, they just fit. Unfortunately, that was my lowest recent weight so they no longer fit. Boots are really hard, and the same pair did not fit any better in wide calf. I was resisting buying a similar boot in black, so maybe I’ll look for a gray or pewter colored pair.

Ah, coats. Mine finally bit the dust. And I haven’t found one I like enough. I’ve been wearing my lightweight puffer or my rain coat. But my problem is that I was cold indoors, and I’ve never been one to wear a coat indoors.

In the meantime, I’ll try the silk tank I recently purchased. And look for the boots. Wide toes, thin ankles, thick calves, flat or low heels. Streamlined or slightly equestrian. Wish me luck!

November 28, 2016 at 5:21 pm

MTBGirl

Veteran

It was very interesting to read your learnings Angie, thank you. I have made so many mistakes, especially before YLF as I was all over the place. I am still learning and hopefully minimizing the mistakes. Two big ones were if I liked the item and it fit or was on sale, I’d buy it. More recently I debate whether to duplicate or not. I lean towards doing it and then hold back. I think there have become more times of wishing I did than wishing I didn’t which used to happen a lot.
I remember the first time shopping at a store after being on YLF for a little while and feeling like I knew what I was doing. It felt very powerful!
I’m constantly learning thanks to YLF!

November 28, 2016 at 5:26 pm

Jill

It’s a lot of what I do, too. And it’s made my shopping (and getting dressed) so much easier!

My caveats:

1. Know your colors. And buy the heck out of them when they’re “in”. True red, emerald green, serious purple, chocolate brown…these are some of “my” colors. And sometimes they’re impossible to find, with the proliferation of black, gray, tan, and white that I encounter. So when I find something that is my style *and* in my color, even if I have to occasionally stretch the budget a bit, I’ll grab it. Because it might be literally years before my color shows up at retailers again.

2. I also duplicate some items. Not the memorable items, the wardrobe standouts, but the basics. When I find a really good crew neck tee (or a tank top, or a pair of leggings), I will buy more than one. Sometimes I’ll buy two or three in the same color. Because I know they’ll suit me just as well in a few years, and I hate spending time searching for the “right” basics. I even have a couple of pairs of cords (one of my fall and winter staples) in both red and teal. But same basic cut / fit, which works really well for my body.

3. No uncomfortable shoes – but slightly different – I can be comfortable in a variety of heel heights. *But* no matter how lovely a shoe is, if it’s not comfortable right when I put it on, it’s not going to get better. Some shoes simply don’t fit my feet, and they’re better left in the store. There are plenty of other pretties that *do* work for me.

4. Buy what you love. I don’t apply this to basics, because they’re…basics. But everything else? New coat? Shoes? A gorgeous top that drapes just so and makes me feel like a million bucks? There’s no question. Unless it’s ridiculously outside of the budget, I don’t even hesitate. Those items are often worth far, far more in “feel good” dollars than whatever I’ve paid for them.

November 28, 2016 at 5:38 pm

Lisa

Veteran

A great list here. For myself I would add that I’ve learned to only shop for shoes last during a trip. My fussy feet need all the time they can get to swell up so that I get a proper fit. Every time I shop for shoes first, the shoes end up in the donate pile.

November 28, 2016 at 6:58 pm

Cococat

Veteran

Great topic Angie!

I’m definitely still learning, but I’m doing better.

I almost always bought on sale which played a huge role in my mishmash wardrobe which often left me feeling that I had nothing to wear. Now I will happily buy at full price because most purchases are planned instead of a ‘treasure hunt’.

I’m learning that some styles just don’t suit me, so I should stop dreaming and embrace what does suit. I now have a capsule of work appropriate wiggle dresses and interesting separates that make it so much easier to get dressed for work.

I have also learned not to buy uncomfortable shoes, but I have learned not to buy ‘comfort shoes’ either because physical comfort does not necessarily equal mental comfort, so it’s a bit of give and take. I like my heels but I’m more careful now.

November 28, 2016 at 10:30 pm

Kylie

My mistakes are

1. Only letting myself buy things on sale and hoping things I love will not sell out before they go on sale!

2. Buying lots of semi-okay sale items just because they are cheap.

3. Buying too many t shirts and too few pants shoes coats etc because they are so much more expensive.

4. Having only one pair of shoes or boots that I wear every day and don’t even match some of my clothes right.
And while I would often spend up to $100 on shoes, this year it was a $20 pair of horribly uncomfortable shoes that gave me foot problems.

5. Buying random things rather than thinking of what I could wear them with!

6. buying jeans off eBay that turn out to fit wrong because I don’t want to spend money on something regular like jeans. Buying a second hand coat that is just alright, because coats are expensive but ending up wearing it ALL the time. Etc.

7. Buying clothes online that I would like to like because they look good on the model or fashionable but they don’t actually suit me.

8. buying extra things I don’t love or need to get over the free shipping threshold!!

November 29, 2016 at 12:41 am

Summer

Veteran

It’s taken me a long time to accept mistakes as nothing more than learning opportunities – as demonstrated by all the wise comments above.
I used to think I had to live with my mistakes, and try to make them work. Sometimes that is possible, of course: alterations, or styling in a different way. Mostly, though, it’s better just to learn the lesson and move on.

November 29, 2016 at 2:53 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

WOW. Lots of great insights here. Thanks for sharing, ladies.

Barbara, you’ll need a warm sleeved dress with hosiery. And I’ve used my woolly scarf as a wrap for indoors too.

November 29, 2016 at 7:49 am

Mac

Veteran

One mistake I’ve often made in the past is “Size Goggles.” When I lived in Paris, for instance, Size 14 clothes weren’t easy to find so when I’d travel to the US I’d just grab clothes ~ almost any clothes ~ that fit me out of sheer relief and gratitude. No surprise: I made many poor choices. Hope I’ll never make that error in the future.

November 29, 2016 at 11:44 am

Great advice, especially #8.

November 30, 2016 at 7:16 am

Lyn D.

Veteran

I have made all of the above mistakes and still run at about 1 in 10 purchases not working out.
I don’t let this worry me though because playing with fashion is such a fun and enjoyable game!

November 30, 2016 at 12:21 pm

unagi

Active Member

This seems like a very complete list of what could go wrong :-). I’d maybe add “imaginary lifestyle” to it, as in you’re not working in a large corporation any more and should ditch the suits.

I totally second your item about the climate. A move of a mere 250 miles South, coupled with noticeable global warming, means I still retain a good San Francisco-level collection of scarves, but now mostly have a solid-Summer wardrobe. The odd silk long johns or merino tee are amply sufficient for supplementing in the few days of real winter. I mostly need one good warm jacket that lives in the car for beach walks.

And thank you so much for encouraging duplicate shopping. Since I read that here, I’ve had many fewer difficulties with laundry because of duplicating a few items like black tees. I’ve also done a much better job of wearing current items frequently, while they’re still current, even if that means wearing them out in a single season :-).

December 7, 2016 at 11:00 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Glad this was helpful and resonated, ladies.

December 9, 2016 at 7:14 am

About the Author

Learn From My Shopping Mistakes

1. Never Say Never When it Comes to Fashion

2. Don’t Shop for an imaginary Climate

3. Choose your Neutrals Carefully

4. Keep The Colour Flowing

5. Prioritize Structured Items

6. Focus on the ITEM not the Price

7. Duplicate Items that are Signature to your Style

8. No Uncomfortable Footwear

9. Don’t Shop When You’re Not in the Mood

10. When in Doubt, Ask a Friend or Significant Other

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About the Author

1. Never Say Never When it Comes to Fashion

2. Don’t Shop for an imaginary Climate

3. Choose your Neutrals Carefully

4. Keep The Colour Flowing

5. Prioritize Structured Items

6. Focus on the ITEM not the Price

7. Duplicate Items that are Signature to your Style

8. No Uncomfortable Footwear

9. Don’t Shop When You’re Not in the Mood

10. When in Doubt, Ask a Friend or Significant Other

Forum conversations about this post

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Recent Ensembles

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