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Choosing Neutrals

Anonymous

Angie's post from yesterday haunted me. There were lots of ideas to think about, but the one idea that stayed with me was her comment about black/charcoal.

When I graduated from college, I did not own one single garment that was appropriate for a professional setting and I did not have any money. Since YLF didn't exist, I resorted to those lists of what every professional women needed in her wardrobe.

Those lists didn't serve me well and I made a lot of mistakes as I tried to find my fashion "voice." What I did do right was to select a very limited color palette that included black, white, and the clearest of red.

Black and white continued to be the backbone of my wardrobe until early 2016. For some reason, black began to feel oppressive to me in the spring. I thought this was a seasonally thing and that my love of black would bounce back in the fall/winter. It hasn't. I have come to understand that for whatever reason I am not in love with black anymore.

Ink navy has been replacing the black in my wardrobe. It is a slow process. I still own lots of black in my work capsule. I am not as disciplined about sticking to a color scheme as I was right out of college, but I am still trying. I am concerned that the next couple of yeas might be chaotic as the old disciplines fights with the new. For example, I bought these jeans because I thought I should own a pair of black jeans. Does that even make sense?

KUT from the Kloth 'Diana' Stretch Skinny Jeans (Regular & Petite)

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27 replies

Latest reply was from Susie

Tanya

Veteran

Well, I do not think that you have to limit yourself to only black or only ink/navy. I happily own and wear both, and also enjoy mixing them together in the same outfit, especially with a touch of white. Sometimes the mood and occasion call for black, the other time for navy. If you still like black, I don't see a reason of why you shouldn't continue wearing it. If you are sick of it, though, then I would stop buying it, but keep some of the favorite pieces. Those jeans look great, but do you like them, that is the question?
I have a wide palette of neutrals, though they are mostly on the cooler side: white, off-white, all shades of grey from palest silver to darkest charcoal, navy and ink, black; with little touches of taupe and cooler olive, and couple of warm tans/cognacs in accessories, that I love how they look with both navy and black. I would happily wear any two or even three mixed together.

El Cee

Veteran

I agree with Tanya. It is not an either/or thing. You can have and enjoy a range of neutrals in your closet. Black comprises the largest part of my wardrobe, but I often insert gray, dark blue or olive as my neutral... or mix my dark neutrals in one outfit. I also also enjoy mixing cool tones with warm tones (like black or gray with cognac or olive). And yes, your neutrals can change with the seasons. I wear less black in the warmer months... favoring lighter shades.

Of course, if you are no longer enjoying your black pieces, perhaps it is time to phase them out... gradually... as you build your wardrobe around your preferred neutrals. And do not add any more black unless you start "feeling it" again.

Anonymous

Happy Belated Thanksgiving, Tanya. I still like black. I am just wondering if I shouldn't stop buying it for a while as I sort out what colors make me happy and what colors depress me. Right now, black seems oppressive to me. That is why I was surprised I bought the black jeans. I wonder if I am not defaulting to some weird voice in my head that says "everyone needs a pair of black jeans in their wardrobe!"

I hadn't thought of mixing the black with the ink!! That might be exactly what I need to freshen things up. Thank you.

Anonymous

Hi El Cee. I hope you have a lovely Holiday. I think this post was more about whining than anything constructive. I am not sure what my point really was. BUT like you and Tanya suggested, wearing black with ink may be a GREAT solution. I am going to try it tomorrow.

El Cee

Veteran

I adore black with ink! It feels very chic to me. You will look terrific in that combo. And thanks -- My holiday was fab. Hope yours was fun.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Sounds like a color shift is about to happen. Take your time there is no race or rules saying you have too right now. Color is on the beginning. I would start with identifying a color that makes me happy or smile. In the past I've never ever worn anything pink or colorful.

Then this dress and color made my heart go pitter patter. It is the only vivid thing hanging in my Wadrobe and I just love it. Doesn't mean I'm gonna fill my wadrobe with bubble gum pink but I'm open to the journey of color.

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Suz

(website)

Veteran

Black does not make my heart sing, either, but I do include it in my wardrobe -- more as an accent than as a neutral, if that makes any sense. In other words, most of my "core" items are navy or ink or grey, but I do have a few in black as well. Like Tanya, I'll freely mix black with ink or grey or white/ ivory. Black can be useful and grounding. I'd do what others have suggested. Look for ink or navy when buying new but don't get rid of everything in black. And even though we often do get hooked in by those "every woman should have" lists, black jeans can in fact be useful at times. I should know; I don't have any and have been regretting that fact!

Anonymous

Hi LeDonna. I hope you are feeling well and happy. That pink dress is gorgeous on you. It was meant to be. It makes me smile every time I see you wearing it.

Suz -- you just get me. If those black jeans are a lighter weight fabric, I am keeping them. If they are a heavy (winter only) fabric, they have to go back because I am not buying for a few weeks of winter any more. By the way, I did learn that lesson from Angie as well. THAT was a hard and painful lesson for me to learn. I might have wept. But I finally get it.

Anonymous

One additional comment on color schemes. I DO LOVE white. I always have. I currently own two pair of "experimental" white jeans. I have proven that I wear them and they contribute to my style quotient. I am going to upgrade the white jeans this spring.

I have been researching color schemes. I have finally accepted the reality of climate. I am considering upgrading my color scheme to be more climate appropriate as well. I have made no commitments yet, but I have started to collect color schemes for future reference. A BIG change is underway.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

You definitely don't have to choose when it comes to neutrals. The basis of my wardrobe is neutrals, and I wear a wide variety- black, white, cream, shades of gray from pearl to charcoal, shades of brown from taupe to cognac to chocolate, and denim from pale to dark washes.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I can understand wanting to get away from black (unless it's a signature for you like it is for some). But I still like to have at least one pair of black jeans/pants because I think they work well with some of the tops that I find hard to pair with blue denim. I agree you can pair black with ink or other blues.I'm not much into the denim on denim look for myself, but I like chambray with black or olive or tan - so it also works for me that way. Gray jeans usually have quite a distressed look to me and that's not my style so I ended up getting rid of my gray ones.

cindysmith

Veteran

I defaulted to those must-have lists for a long time, too. I wasted quite a bit of time and money figuring out that most of that stuff just didn't work for me. Great white shirt? White washes me out. Great black blazer? Washes me out. Much like you, I had to figure out what MY basics were. Ultimately, most of my basics are not basic at all (which makes it interesting trying to figure out what to wear to my mom's, since she doesn't like my preferred aesthetic LOL)

The good news, IMO, is that you don't have to make any sweeping decisions right now. Most of our wardrobes are constantly evolving; that gives you time to see if you want to completely abandon black or keep it in your closet for those days when it feels right. I generally keep black relegated to pants because it is entirely too harsh next to my face, but I love mixing those black bottoms with inky blue or navy tops. As long as the two aren't so close that it looks like I got dressed in the dark, it's a fun color combination for me.

Joy

Veteran

Lost my reply but the gest of it was that, at one time I eliminated black and other colors are difficult to collect at different times and still go together. Now I think of black as a basic to use to build outfits. I also experimented and found " my" black. It is not a rich deep black, which can be more harsh. I think that you will still find your black jeans to be useful.
Mixing navy and browns with black has helped. Also, after seeing it everywhere in Japan a few years ago, I love blush with black. That can extend to tans. These colors pull black into early spring/ late winter.
As Suz said, there is a place for black, maybe not so much under your chin.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I defaulted to only black, and sometimes grey, for a long time. Navy felt too stodgy to me, and brown didn't do a whole lot for me either. However, I have expanded my neutrals a bit and am happier for it. I still wear lots of black, no question, but for example my outfit yesterday had only the tiniest touch of black (in a plaid shirt and the straps of my handbag) -- instead it was a combination of navy/blue and brown shades ranging from a deep reddish brown to lighter mocha.

So I think it's possible to enjoy a larger range of neutrals, and find versions that are flattering, to stave off the boredom we tend to get with just one.

I learned a long time ago that those "must-have" lists don't apply well to me.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Sweet, Sterling. Let the "haunting" become powerful problem solving energy.

As Suz mentioned yesterday, sartorial preferences are very personal. For some, black and grey is their thing - like for Greg who looks AMAZING in very dark neutrals. That said, he's switching to ink blue and navy these days. I can hardly believe it. I guess he feels like a bit of a change from all the black.

I also literally woke up one day and fell out of love with black. BUT. I LOVE to wear small doses of black with white or cream, and ink blue or navy. Lots of WHITE pearls, and as an accent colour with brights. (Fably '80s). I don't wear dark grey. That's one way to utilize your black wardrobe items. You love white, shocking pink, and ink blue. Wear black with those colours.

Furthermore, I think you'd look great in earthy shades with your pretty brown hair.

Anonymous

Angie -- how you manage to know each of us so well as individuals is shocking to me (in a good way). I wish I had your people/observation talents. I would tell you that you will go a long way, but then you already knew that.

Hi Janet. This idea of experimenting with naturals is new to me. I think I am going to love it. One day, my color wheel will be composed of neutrals with touches of color. Something to play with this coming weekend.

Joy -- I love the idea of blush with black. Blush and black have always stopped me dead in my tracks. Yes. I do stare, but only in a good, non-threatening way. When I start asking complete strangers if I can take their picture, that is when I cross the line into odd.

Hi CynthiaWalkerSmith. I'm glad I am not the only one that defaulted to those "lists." I laugh about it today, but .... Well, you know.

Texstyle -- I also got rid of my grey jeans. I wasn't exactly sure why I came to hate them, but I did. They seemed to be so nondescript, boring, and icky. Denim on denim is not my style either. Too hot looking. Or just too much denim. I have some wonderful tops that pair black and ink blue together. Not denim. But really useful in making everything look intentional.

And finally ChewySpaghetti. I love the idea of expanding my neutrals. I might have written this post tongue-in-check, but I got a lot of really useful information back. The most important of which is mixing black with ink blue and expanding my color scheme. I'm going to work on that this weekend.

Sal

Veteran

I am late to this and you have had good advice already.

I have a fair amount of black (NZ is the land of the long white cloud, but we all dress in black!!). Black is our national colour for sports, and it is everywhere in retail.

I like black best in an all black outfit, with coloured accessories. I love a black top and black pants look, with cognac footwear, or even white sneakers. I also wear black with charcoal, with red and with cream. I own a pair of black jeans and find them a useful winter basic.

I agree, try not to add too many more black pieces until you see where your direction is going. And maybe experiment with your existing pieces, I wore a black pants, black tank, cream jacket look last week that I really enjoyed.

Anonymous

Kiwigal -- I am certain you look fabulous in your black ensembles. The black pants, black tank, and cream jacket sound sumptuous.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

HAH, Sterling. You make me smile. Thank you for the kind words. THIS is what I do. It's a calling, and you develop a memory and knack for a calling. It's like getting fit, I guess. Let the new neutral leg of your style journey begin.

Kaelyn

Veteran

I haven't had that problem because I legitimately do love wearing black. I've adopted more white and experimented with more grays (I always liked charcoal), and I've taken more of a liking to white. I DO feel that way about brown, and if it was the standard neutral, I'd be miserable if I tried to make it work. I like very specific browns in very small doses but I will never have a ton of it in my wardrobe, and that's okay. And it's perfectly okay that you don't love black.

Anonymous

Thanks Kaelyn. I was surprised that after having worn it for so many years that I could just wake up one morning and not be feeling it anymore. Things change. I adapt.

By the way, I don't care for brown either. There is something about it that is just a bit depressing in my mind.

Joyce B

Veteran

Sterling, sorry to reply late. I think the fact you realized that black does not make you happy is a major step. Maybe when you wore a lot of black you lived in a place with less daylight in Winter and now where you live there is nice daylight year round? I like my black jeans only in late Fall and Winter, maybe for that reason.
Lighter neutrals must look fab on you as they will work nicely with your hair color. Go with what makes you happy but don't get rid of all your black yet as it may still be useful.
Now your post made me realize that last year I bought a super warm Winter coat in *black* as it was the only color that it came in. A huge expanse of black, as in a long puffer coat, does not make me happy, either, but it does keep me very warm in the coldest Winter days. I just wish it was in a different color...
I will be watching how your choices of neutrals evolve. White must look fab on you.

Anonymous

Joyce -- you might have a point. I lived in Minnesota when I first got out of college. Today I live in North Carolina (a huge transition and a major culture shock). That, and the fact that I am dressing for my real climate, all factor in.

I could never purge black from my wardrobe. I would literally have next to nothing to wear. I think my goal will be to avoid buying more black in the future and focus on ink blue. I am also going to try combining the black and ink blue into outfits. That seems so fresh and interesting to me. I would have tried this morning, but I woke up late and brain activity was absent.

Oh, and you are never late to any post. I love hearing your insights whenever you have time to join in the conversation. Happy Holidays.

Joyce B

Veteran

Thanks, Sterling! Happy Holidays to you, too! Black and ink will look very nice.
At least your moving to NC helped you escape the harsh Winters, I would not miss those at all.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

And try to keep an open mind about browns. I sense things will change. There are many shades of brown. Cognac is brown for example.

Kaelyn

Veteran

I shouldn't have said NEVER, but it is highly unlikely. Like Sterling, I know my taste sometimes changes and I'll adapt if it happens. I think if you suddenly realize something you didn't use to like, it's good to just let it happen. I never liked the idea of wearing orange, but here I am wearing a bright orange pashmina scarf as I type this. There are exceptions to everything aren't there?

Susie

Veteran

I feel like I found a whole other fashion world, sterling, by adding ink! And it's been just this year and probably because there are such fab choices now, where in the past navy pieces seemed to skew more conservative or preppy, neither which appealed to me. I really hadn't worn navy in years and now I love ink, especially mixed with black! And it feels especially fresh in fall, as I always thought of it as more for spring and summer.

I still love black and it still holds a large place in my wardrobe. But more and more it's not flat black- instead it has texture or pattern or shine.

Welcome to the new dark side!