Don’t let fashion and style boss you around. It’s there for enjoyment and upliftment, not stress and sadness. Use the power of fashion and style to boost your confidence and feel fabulous. Don’t let it prey on your insecurities. Think for yourself, rather than worrying about what other people think. 

Here are ten things I make a point of remembering to stay in charge of my style:

1. The buffet of trends is there so that you can feast or fast as you please. Don’t feel obligated to try a trend that doesn’t feel right. Continue wearing a trend that sparks joy.
2. Do your own thing (DYOT) is the most important trend of all. Stand out or blend in, it’s all good as long as you’re achieving what you want with your style, and are confident sporting it.
3. Don’t let anyone make you feel that your sartorial choices are inferior to theirs. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and style is extremely subjective. Conversely, don’t make anyone feel bad about their fab-for-them-style, no matter how different it is to yours.
4. Don’t obsess about your physical appearance because there is much, MUCH more to life. Having a fab-for-you style can be confidence-boosting and therapeutic, but keep a balanced approach. Try to find a style, beauty regimen, and workout routine that you can manage regularly, afford, enjoy, and feel good about instead of trying to keep up with some idealized benchmark of perfection that makes you unhappy.
5. Don’t take the fashion world too seriously because it’s fickle, ridiculous at times, and not nearly as diverse as it should be. Laugh at it. A lot!
6. Compare, but don’t despair. Aspire to being the best version of yourself rather than an inauthentic version of someone else.
7. You can’t please everyone in life, so stop trying to do that. Choose a small subset of people whose stylish opinions matter to you. Throw the rest of the peanut gallery out the window and rock on.
8. Your favourite colours, neutral and non-neutral are ALWAYS in style. A colour is wrong when it makes you feel less than fab, not when it’s off trend.
9. Don’t wear things to please other people unless it pleases you too. People pleasing and dressing to suit your audience is thoughtful and sensitive, but only up to a point. Be mindful and in control of that threshold.
10. When you do feel that fashion and style are bossing you around, re-read this list, or step away and focus on something else. Soul search to pinpoint what makes you happy, and incorporate as much of that as you can into your life.

Be bossy!

Light-coloured snakeskin boots are a maximal classic that come in many variations. So much so that the pattern will bookend any shade of hair if you choose the right warm or cool tones to complement it. Some versions are more brown and earthy, while others are grey and icy. Some patterns are tonally light, and others more contrasting. The patterns with a strong black component are great for black hair. The lighter and grey versions are fab for blonde and grey hair. The warm brown tones are good for auburn hair and redheads. The collection shows a nice assortment of patterns.

Snakeskin boots make a bold statement, so you have to be okay with that. They are versatile because they can effectively bookend your hair. For that reason light snakeskin boots will happily stand alone without matching anything else in the outfit. I used to have a cream pair of snakeskin booties that I wore into the ground and with everything. Maybe I’ll get another pair this year.

On to the outfit formulas for inspiration.

1. Pattern Mixed

Despite the bold appearance of snakeskin, it’s a good pattern to mix with. Here the boots work well with the floral blouse because the same black and earthy toffee are repeated in the patterns. The toffee is further repeated in the model’s hair and the pink in the blouse is repeated in the model’s lips. Gorgeous.

2. Bright Dress

This is a great example of how the snakeskin boots stand alone and don’t match anything in the orange dress. But the black components in the boots effectively bookend the black in the model’s hair thereby creating a harmonious visual. Easy.

3. Neutral Separates

Light snakeskin boots with a high-contrast pattern look amazing with outfits that combine neutrals like black, navy, grey and cream. Here, the light components of the boots match the hair of the model, which is visually effective. Blue jeans will work well too.

4. White Jeans

This is the reason I would like to get light snakeskin boots – gorgeous with white jeans, and especially for Spring. You could combine the look with a top that works with the palette of the snakeskin, or throw in something completely different like this mustard top. Plenty of possibilities, so do your own thing!

I shared some inspirational hairstyles with my stylist last week so that we could figure out how to refresh my ‘do for 2020. The look I liked best worked with my fine hair, but not for my often wet, cold and windy urban walking lifestyle. It required long front flat ironed sections that would blow out of place and into my face, and lose their sharp appearance in the rain, or under a beanie. The style would have worked if I commuted in a car, from our home directly to the destination. But the reality is that I’m often on foot, exposed to the elements, AND I wear specs. That meant I had to adjust the cut and look to suit my needs. The result is not quite as dramatic and trendy as the original inspirational cut, but I’m very happy with it. It will allow me to get on with work and play with hair that looks polished and professional.

This got me thinking about how regularly I have to blend fashionable fabness and practical necessity. I refuse to call it a compromise, because that implies sacrificing something. Instead it’s about finding the right balance between aspiration and reality by customizing a look to suit personal needs. That’s a gigantic nod to the most important trend of our fashion era – Do Your Own Thing (DYOT).

Another example: I wear practical fashion sneakers or classic flat loafers and ballet flats with my fashionable dresses and skirts instead of fabulous heels or strappy sandals because I have zero tolerance for foot discomfort. I walk 13,000 to 20,000 steps a day and need happy feet. Luckily, wearing fashion sneakers with anything these days is actually trendy!

Also, I’ve chosen to wear specs daily instead of contact lenses because my eyes can’t bare the discomfort of contacts. Although fashion is more accepting of specs than it used to be, contacts are still more fashionable in some, especially dressy, occasions. But I always wear my specs because I’m nearsighted. Rather that seeing a blurred world, I’ve made eyewear a signature and dramatic part of my style, and my most important accessory.

Over to you. How do you blend fashionable fabness and practical needs with your style?

This is a great, no-nonsense Modern Classic dress that is flattering on a range of body types. It’s just the type of item that Ralph Lauren does well season after season, which is why I’m loyal to the brand. It is a great length with a good neckline, sleeved, very comfortable, and breezy.

It’s tailored, yet flowing. No need for shapewear, but you need to wear knickers with a high waist so that the seam doesn’t cut across the belly to give you muffin top. It’s 94% cotton and 6% elastane, machine washable, and going for a song because the sale price is discounted. It’s available in petite and regular sizes at Macy’s, and in plus sizes on the Ralph Lauren site. There are some colours, fabrics, and necklines to choose from. It looks better in person. My hope is that it will launder well too.

The tomato red and navy striped version with the boat neck is already hanging in my closet because I start refreshing my wardrobe for Spring and Summer VERY early. When an item is right, it’s right. I tried the dress on and it fit perfectly, ticking all the boxes. It will be four to five months before I can wear it, which is fine by me.

Note that this is a very casual dress. It’s been styled in the picture as a dressy frock with strappy high heels, which looks off to my eye. I will wear mine with chunky white pearls, white sneakers, and a denim jacket in air conditioning. It will look fab with flat sandals and mules too.