What to Wear to a Funeral

This is a sensitive subject, but one that many people have questions about. The definition of appropriate funeral attire varies a lot across different cultures and religions. This is particularly true for colour. For example, in western culture black is the colour of bereavement, but in other cultures it is white. 

But I think it is safe to say that a funeral is not about us and our outfit. It is about paying one’s last respects to the deceased and supporting their family. That’s why I suggest the safe “M-D-M” dressing rule. Wear a “muted”, “dressy” and “modest” outfit and you’ll look and feel appropriate.

Here’s the checklist in more detail as applied to a western funeral:

  1. Keep it muted: Dark colours like black, charcoal grey, navy and brown are no-brainers. Deep burgundy reds, greens and purples, or muted pastels and beige are also fine as long as you don’t wear anything too bright, flashy or bold. Generally, no lively pops of colour for this outfit and that includes make-up.
  2. Keep it dressy: No jeans please. A funeral is a not a casual occasion so at the very least think dressy business casual, but business formal is best. Skirts and dresses are the traditional choice but dress slacks are just as acceptable. Closed toe shoes are not a must but covering up neon toe nail polish is a good idea.
  3. Keep it modest: Tailored clothing is fab but anything too alluring is inappropriate. If an item of clothing is too short, too tight or too low-cut to wear to work, you probably shouldn’t be wearing it to a funeral. Hose is not essential especially if it’s hot, but it does add a polished touch to your skirt or dress ensemble.

Sometimes funeral attire is specified to honour the personality of the deceased. For example, you might be requested to wear their favourite colour, or wear T-shirts that were printed for the funeral occasion. In this case respect the request and go with the flow.

I’ve been to four funerals and in each case I wore a black suit with hose, pearls and black pumps. For my Mum’s funeral I added a crisp white shirt and red handbag to a black pinstripe suit ensemble, just because she would have preferred it that way.

I’d like to hear your thoughts on funeral attire. I’m particularly interested in the appropriate dress for non-Western funerals. Does my checklist still apply? The more we hear about different cultural traditions the better.

How to wear a tunic shirt: casual dress code

Casual White Tunic ShirtHere’s the first tunic shirt outfit in action and I’ve chosen to wear it casually. I opted for a white tunic shirt with fun side entry pockets because crisp white cotton-rich button downs are close to  my heart. But you can choose any colour or pattern in a similar silhouette and the look will translate just as well.

I’ve matched the tunic shirt with faded jeans, 20 eyelet Dr. Martens and a slouchy handbag. I’ve accessorized with a dainty vintage pearl necklace. The biker jacket will keep me warm if it gets chilly.

Remember that I’m wearing the tunic shirt true to my style, which might not be to your taste. For example, you can substitute my combination with boot cut jeans, casual ankle boots, a blazer and scarf if that’s more your look.

I prefer my tunic shirt loose and flowing because it spells arty and fun. But you can also add a waist-cinching belt for more structure. I also like to pop the collar and scrunch up the sleeves of all my shirts for extra textural interest. The effect is a thrown together, yet pulled together look.

Simple, clean, easy and very comfortable.

Tomorrow I’ll cover how to wear the tunic shirt in a smart casual setting. This will be an easier interpretation because button down shirts are generally thought of as more dressy than casual.

Arty and fun: boxy tunic shirts

The long button down shirt wafts in and out of fashion. We saw it make a huge statement in the 80’s and then it disappeared. It came back in the 90’s sans shoulder pads, but disappeared again. It’s been an on and off trend during the noughties too, especially since the resurgence of tunic length tops. I don’t know if the tunic shirt will ever be as popular as it was back in the 80’s but it’s making a strong comeback for 2010.

I fully understand the challenges with classic, hip-length button down shirts because they are hard to fit. As soon as they work on the bust, they’re ill-fitting everywhere else. Or they’re too short, too long, too constricting, too boxy, too matronly, or just too blah. But hear me out because the new roomier button down tunic (or tunic shirt) might change your mind.

Tie-Belt TunicMedium Body ShirtLongline Shirt

This style is not as voluminous as the painters shirt, but not all that tailored either, meaning you’ll get away with a boxier silhouette. In fact that’s how the style is supposed to look. Leave it free flowing over skinnies or cigarette pants, adding heels and a statement necklace. Pop the collar and scrunch up the sleeves for instant textural sass. Or add a belt for extra waist definition. If you’re allergic to belts, layer over a fitted item like a jacket or cardigan for more structure. Empire cut tunic shirts are also an option if you prefer torso definition and volume on the tummy and hip area.

A well made tunic shirt can be worn casually, smart casually, incorporated into a biz casual ensemble and take you to a semi-formal event. I’m going to show you how this week so stay tuned.

Shirt TunicLongline Pintuck ShirtLong Sleeve Shirt

I’ve been a button down gal forever. I think of the item as a vehicle that enables other items to shine and not just as a wow-top that stands alone. So needless to say, I adore the tunic shirt because it looks crisp and has endless versatile layering possibilities. Remember that you don’t need to choose white either. Some colours look more crisp than others, but most colours in this silhouette are fab.

Roundups

Simpler Items

This week's list of top picks list is about basic pieces.

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Assorted Items

Items for Summer, both in and out of air conditioning.

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Casual Summer Vibes

This week's top picks are good for a casual Summer vibe.

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Summery Earth Tones

These items are for those who like to wear casual earth tones in warm and hot weather.

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Hints of Spring

Some tried-and-tested winning items to refresh your style for Spring.

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Dressier Items

An assortment of dressier top picks might be just what the doctor ordered.

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Camouflage trend: yay or nay

I don’t love camo print, but I don’t loathe it either. I can appreciate items in camouflage print when they’re very feminine and worn in a dressy way because it’s an unexpected interpretation. And in the name of creative fashion, that’s fab. Items like drapey silk blouses, soft breezy dresses, slinky scarves, the odd handbag and high heeled shoes spring to mind.

But as soon as camouflage looks casual, I’m turned off because it reminds me a little too much of authentic combat wear. For example, baggy shorts and cargo pocket pants in stiff cotton fabrications, distressed twill jackets, rugged T-shirts and sneakers leave me cold. Looks cute on kids, teens and adult blokes for that matter, but somehow, I can’t get my head around it for ladieswear.

Paul's Boutique Camouflage Pockets Bag Diane von Furstenberg CHALE Print Blouse

Oh-so-90’s camouflage print is trending. If the items look pretty and dressy like the ones above, I vote yay, otherwise I vote nay. How about you? Do you like camouflage print ?

Fab Find: Shimera seamless boyshort panties

Panties (or knickers and undies as I like to call them) are an incredibly personal thing. What works for one person might not work for another. I’ve found that there is absolutely no panty preference consistency with my clients. Everyone is into something different and is usually looking for an improved version of what they currently have. For comfort reasons, style and fabric are of extreme importance, not to mention price, durability and  aesthetics. Some prefer cotton-rich bikini cuts or synthetic high-cuts, while others prefer lacy thongs. Some prefer neutrals whereas others prefer colours. With such an abundance of panty variety, it seems insane that we still struggle to find that perfect pair.

My preference is boyshorts. I love the coverage that this style provides and enjoy their retro flavour. For a while I wore Jockey’s modern modal brief. Then I switched to Soma’s boyshorts which were great until the dryer started stretching them out. I have since discovered Nordstrom underwear brand “Shimera” and I’m hooked. I can’t get enough of their boyshorts.  They are seamless, lightweight and stay put. So far, they launder well too, so I’m stocking up for my happy buns.

What do you look for in panties? Care to share your fab panty finds?

Shimera Seamless BoyshortsShimera Seamless Boyshorts

The price isn’t bad either (you’ll save $2 per pair if you purchase three at a time).