The way we dress expresses who we are and the extent to which we enjoy having fun with fashion. And like any form of artistic expression, it has an audience. The question is, who is your audience? When you wake up in the morning and get dressed, who is it for?

Is it for a partner, significant other or spouse? Is it for a prospective partner? Work colleagues and peers? Your boss? Friends and family? The blogosphere? Strangers walking by? Or is it purely for yourself?

My audience is probably a combination of all the above. As much as I dress for myself, I dress for other people too. I take an interest in fashion and style because it’s a delightful hobby and because dressing well makes me feel that I can take on the world. I dress for others because I want them to perceive me as a well put together individual. I dress for my spouse because I want him to find me attractive. Furthermore, fashion and style are my bread and butter and many of the people I meet are potential clients or YLF readers. I literally can’t afford to have a bad style day!

Who is your style audience? Has it changed over time? Does your style audience appreciate your efforts?

Over the last year we’ve had international YLF gatherings in Rotterdam, Brussels and Antwerp, and Edinburgh. Wow! I can scarcely believe it. And we’ve just had a gathering in London. So today’s post is written by fabulous forum member Fiona (londonkiwi) who hails from New Zealand but lives in London. Fi works for an arts charity and loves living in what happens to be one of my very favourite cities. She recently met up with other UK based YLF’ers and the city had to brace itself for their stunning arrival!

What happens when an English woman, Irish woman, American, Canadian and a New Zealander start planning? You have the first YLF meeting in London of course!

It was a post by Jean (Greenglove) on the YLF forum saying that she would be visiting London from Boston in August that started the planning. This was quickly followed by Louise arranging train tickets to come down from Birmingham and Dawn organizing flights from Ireland and Ele and I ensuring that our diaries were indeed free that resulted in us meeting at Sacred Cafe in Covent Garden on a Saturday morning in early August.

I was initially worried that it would be difficult to spot the others but as soon as Louise and I walked in we immediately spotted Dawn. Ele and Jean didn’t have any trouble finding us either – I think that YLF imbibes a certain confidence in style amongst its followers! As I think Ele remarked, everyone looked exactly how you would expect them to look.

Over coffee, tea, scrambled eggs, bagels, chocolate croissant and an almost forgotten caramel pecan slice we spent the next hour and a half getting to know each other. Topics ranged from the fashion related – (a shared love of Uniqlo, is Clarks in the USA better than the UK version?, what about Gap?) to the non-fashion related, from what we all did when we were not on YLF through to midwifery! Jean asked us for advice on a military inspired jacket she had purchased at H&M the day before – which, of course, looked amazing.

Then it was time to shop. The Covent Garden area of London (including Long Acre and the Seven Dials) offers many of the same shops as Oxford Street, but in my opinion it is not quite as busy and there are also some more unique shops as well. There are also lots cafes, restaurants, pubs and bars should you have forgotten your eight hour shoes and need a rest or have an urgent desire to indulge a craving for pastries or tea.

Our first stop was Hobbs – a lot of bright colours here and lots of fun prints too (a blouse with a pattern of terrier dogs anyone?). Then we popped into Cos, H&M’s grown up sister, the simple clean lines of their clothing were admired. After this stop, more browsing was done in Reiss, Dune, Ted Baker (free drinks on Saturday) and L.K Bennett, plus a few others that I am sure I have forgotten. Along the way there were many exclamations of – “that is so Angie!” and “I could see [insert YLF forum member] in that!”

It took perhaps longer than I expected for the first purchase of the day. Jean picked up a gorgeous red/brown scarf at a little ethnic shop. Unfortunately I didn’t note the name of this shop, but hopefully Jean will add it in a comment.

The next shop we visited was Banana Republic. This might seem like a strange choice of shop to pop into on a London trip, but they have only recently opened in the UK and are only in London at the moment, so Dawn and Louise had never been in to one. I think we spent more time here than any other shop, mostly because of the long lines for the changing room. I tried on the Martin skinny trousers (don’t work, but that is another story) and Ele tried on a very sweet green dress, but settled for a lovely necklace instead. But it was Louise who picked up the bargain of the day (if not in the history of YLF meet-ups) a leather belt reduced by 90%!

After BR, it was time for a few more photos, a quick stop in a vintage shop before it was time for Louise and Jean to head off home. Ele left shortly after as she had to pack for her holiday and Dawn and I finished the day by having lunch together.

For me, one of the best parts of the day was benefitting from Jean expertise about colour and Ele’s technical know-how having studied fashion. I never had quite appreciated the subtle difference that means one shade of brown could suit me, even though generally that colour doesn’t work on me, or that even though Louise, Dawn and I share fair skin, different shades of colour work on each of us.

To Dawn, Louise, Jean, and Ele it was a pleasure to meet you all, I had a fantastic day and I hope you did too. Hopefully, it will be the first meeting of many and perhaps next time we will be joined by others!

Of course, none of this would have been possible without the most fabulous Angie and her super husband Greg. Thank you so much for creating this wonderful community!

The “sit-down test” is a no-brainer for skirts and dresses because the length tends to creep up shorter when we sit down, and even shorter when we cross our legs.

I’ve found that the same sit-down test is also necessary with fairly form fitting clothes that button through, like blouses, shirts, shirt dresses, skirts and even certain jacket styles. Sometimes a button through item fits perfectly when we stand up straight or walk around, but not well at all when we’re seated. Hello gaps!

Our weight is distributed differently when we sit and this makes button through items fit differently. Sometimes we can remedy the situation by sewing in small press studs between the button fastenings. At other times we have to size up, or look for an alternative style.

Button through items gape less when the spaces between the button fastenings are small. It’s when they’re large that those dreaded gaps appear. So remember to prevent gape-itis by doing the sit-down test for all button through items before you make the purchase.

Does “flattering” mean tall, slim and hourglass? If you’re in the fashion industry then, yes, it does. This is why clothing ranges are showcased on tall, slim models or celebrities who have a defined waistline. An item is flattering when it moves you closer to this popular norm, what the industry calls the “ideal standard”.

The fact is that few people in the world are built like models. So what do fashion gurus and style experts say? They tell us to wear clothing and footwear that makes us look taller, slimmer and more hourglass-y despite our height and size.  Even when we’re nowhere near a size 4 and six foot tall, the aim is to get as close to the ideal standard as possible – because that’s “flattering”.

The question is: should you buy into this? My definitive answer: yes and no.

No, because you decide what flattering means to you. It is fun and rewarding to develop your own sense of style. Part of that is your own sense of what is and what isn’t flattering. Sally puts it well in her great post on figure flattery priorities. There is no one meaning for the word. Flattering to some is unflattering to others. And that’s fabulous news. Life would be very boring if we all liked the same thing.

Yes, because I don’t think we should completely abandon a shared notion of what is and what isn’t flattering. I don’t believe that everybody should have completely independent aspirations. The commonality we share is also important. After all, without it there would be no trends, and no fashion. Our style should set us apart, but fashion is what brings us together. And that is equally important. It adds a lot of fun to this shared experience that is fashion.

I see this commonality in my experience with friends and clients. Most women think it’s flattering to create an outfit with a longer leg line and a defined waist because it makes them feel feminine and eliminates the dumpy-stumpy factor. Fewer like to surrender their waistline or look short legged. This does support the more popular notion of what is flattering, but it doesn’t mean that you have to follow it religiously. You can pick the aspects of the popular norm that resonate with you and work with your body.

That brings me to what “flattering” means to you. Does it mean creating an hourglass silhouette. Wearing eye-catching clothing. Creating a longer leg line. Showing skin. Wearing colours that bring out the colour of your eyes, hair and complexion. Creating a defined waistline. Elongating your neck. Covering up lumps and bumps. Enhancing your bust line. Wearing well fitting clothing. Creating a balance between the top and bottom parts your the body.

Me? I enjoy seeing many of the above definitions of figure flattery reflected in an outfit, but not necessarily all at once. I am in the camp that likes to see a proportionally longer leg line on women in general. Hence my phobia about perfect pant lengths and leg shortening clothing styles. But that doesn’t mean that you have to be tall and wear heels (I’m Team Flats, remember). There are MANY ways to create a longer leg line and I spend lots of time talking about that on YLF. But I am also a big fan of surrendered waistlines which throws out the hourglass part of the general figure flattery approach – at least some of the time.

Your turn: what does “flattering” mean to you?