I shared some inspirational hairstyles with my stylist last week so that we could figure out how to refresh my ‘do for 2020. The look I liked best worked with my fine hair, but not for my often wet, cold and windy urban walking lifestyle. It required long front flat ironed sections that would blow out of place and into my face, and lose their sharp appearance in the rain, or under a beanie. The style would have worked if I commuted in a car, from our home directly to the destination. But the reality is that I’m often on foot, exposed to the elements, AND I wear specs. That meant I had to adjust the cut and look to suit my needs. The result is not quite as dramatic and trendy as the original inspirational cut, but I’m very happy with it. It will allow me to get on with work and play with hair that looks polished and professional.

This got me thinking about how regularly I have to blend fashionable fabness and practical necessity. I refuse to call it a compromise, because that implies sacrificing something. Instead it’s about finding the right balance between aspiration and reality by customizing a look to suit personal needs. That’s a gigantic nod to the most important trend of our fashion era – Do Your Own Thing (DYOT).

Another example: I wear practical fashion sneakers or classic flat loafers and ballet flats with my fashionable dresses and skirts instead of fabulous heels or strappy sandals because I have zero tolerance for foot discomfort. I walk 13,000 to 20,000 steps a day and need happy feet. Luckily, wearing fashion sneakers with anything these days is actually trendy!

Also, I’ve chosen to wear specs daily instead of contact lenses because my eyes can’t bare the discomfort of contacts. Although fashion is more accepting of specs than it used to be, contacts are still more fashionable in some, especially dressy, occasions. But I always wear my specs because I’m nearsighted. Rather that seeing a blurred world, I’ve made eyewear a signature and dramatic part of my style, and my most important accessory.

Over to you. How do you blend fashionable fabness and practical needs with your style?

This is a great, no-nonsense Modern Classic dress that is flattering on a range of body types. It’s just the type of item that Ralph Lauren does well season after season, which is why I’m loyal to the brand. It is a great length with a good neckline, sleeved, very comfortable, and breezy.

It’s tailored, yet flowing. No need for shapewear, but you need to wear knickers with a high waist so that the seam doesn’t cut across the belly to give you muffin top. It’s 94% cotton and 6% elastane, machine washable, and going for a song because the sale price is discounted. It’s available in petite and regular sizes at Macy’s, and in plus sizes on the Ralph Lauren site. There are some colours, fabrics, and necklines to choose from. It looks better in person. My hope is that it will launder well too.

The tomato red and navy striped version with the boat neck is already hanging in my closet because I start refreshing my wardrobe for Spring and Summer VERY early. When an item is right, it’s right. I tried the dress on and it fit perfectly, ticking all the boxes. It will be four to five months before I can wear it, which is fine by me.

Note that this is a very casual dress. It’s been styled in the picture as a dressy frock with strappy high heels, which looks off to my eye. I will wear mine with chunky white pearls, white sneakers, and a denim jacket in air conditioning. It will look fab with flat sandals and mules too.

Inspired by Laura, my friend and loyal fabber of thirteen years, I chose a word and colour for 2019. I chose the word relaxed and the colour red. I enjoyed the process of choosing them, and they helped me to set my priorities for the new year. During 2019 I found that the exercise also helped me to follow through on my priorities, so I’m joining the word and colour party again. Thank you Laura for creating a new and meaningful tradition in my life.

I love the simplicity of having a single word to keep top of mind, and the power and symbolism of a single colour. With a milestone 50th birthday coming up in July, I took extra care in choosing my word and colour for 2020. I also threw the topic around with hubs Greg, because he gets me.

Word: EXPERIENCE

I’m celebrating the privilege of living for 50 years because my late Mum wasn’t much older than me when she passed away. I’m sharing what I’ve experienced so that I can help and inspire others. I’m appreciating and learning from past experiences so that I can be a wiser, nicer, more thoughtful, self-aware, and fulfilled person. More importantly, I’m prioritizing the creation of significant new experiences — big and small. These are things that touch my heart, are embedded in long-term memory, and continue to spark joy and satisfaction decades later. I’m looking forward to being a little more adventurous, sassy and celebratory this year, and being surprised and energized by some of my choices. One big new experience already on the agenda is a trip to Greece in June.

Colour: BLUE

I was hard-pressed to choose one colour for the year because I have many favourites. But I woke up one day and blue came to mind. Since we recently moved close to the Seattle waterfront, and are planning a trip to Greece, blue seems dead right. It is associated with stability, which I feel greatly in my fifth decade. It is also thought to symbolize wisdom, confidence, loyalty, intelligence, tranquillity, good health, expertise, calm, serenity, and precision. These are all things I aspire to as I age.

From a fashion and style point of view, blue is mainly my dark neutral. But I wear and love all shades of light and dark blue, French blue, Tiffany blue, turquoise, and denim blue. I find that these blues work well with my beloved sour brights, all shades of white, blush pink, earth tones, and black. I’ll be adding more blue to my wardrobe, with a new navy, turquoise or light blue wool coat at the top of my shopping list. I would like to add light blue sneakers, blue patterned clothing, and maybe a few blue accessories too. Here are some new blue arrivals that tickled my fancy:

If it’s your cup of tea, feel free to join Laura and me in choosing a word and colour for the year. Don’t overthink it too much, because your first and freshest thoughts on the subject are usually the best. Share them in the comments section, or on the forum. I’m looking forward to hearing them.

I bet most of us have compared and despaired at some point. I definitely have. I was especially guilty of doing this when I was an impressionable teen, and later while climbing the corporate ladder in the fashion industry. I became more self-aware as I approached 40, breaking the futile cycle that was preventing me from accomplishing my goals and feeling content. 

It’s human to compare ourselves and our lives to others. But that can turn into despair when we start thinking we’re not sufficiently attractive, toned, fit, healthy, slender, clever, eloquent, witty, wealthy, worldly, disciplined, organized, strong or accomplished. We feel inferior, especially when we compare our weaknesses with others’ strengths, and what we don’t have with what others do have. It can easily lead to a self-destructive, downward spiral that’s a waste of energy and cerebral capacity. Our energies are much better spent focussing on the positive aspects of our lives, and the constructive changes we want to make. 

One new development that heightened the compare and despair cycle in the last decade is social media. As wonderful as the technology is for connecting us, it also creates an unrealistic picture of our lives. It’s natural for us to post things that are happy, inspirational or aesthetically pleasing. Euphoric moments, the best pictures we take, and the things that make us most proud.  

I’m guilty of this. I’m almost always upbeat online, and deliberately so. I very seldom post about things in life that are sad or tragic, because I am a private person and I do not dwell on the negative. That doesn’t mean that my life is always stress-free and happy. Far from it.

Of course, so-called social influencers take this to a whole new level. It is their job to be inspirational and aspirational. Some have taken this to an extreme, where what they post is intentionally a somewhat fictional persona based on reality, rather than a transparent reflection of their every day lives. Celebrities have been doing this since celebrities existed. The world of social media has merely opened the opportunity of building an audience to a wider range of people. 

The fact is that we never really know what is going on in a person’s life unless they share that information with us. We all have our challenges, big and small, even when we don’t speak about them openly and publicly. Intentionally or unintentionally, people tend to create an outward facing impression that is an idealized version of what’s really going on in their lives. This is something I try to keep in mind when I stumble across a social influencer, celebrity, friend, colleague or family member who appears to have an easy and perfect life.

In my experience, there will always be someone who is doing better than you by some measure, and that’s so okay. When I started to accept, appreciate and celebrate who I was, I started to aspire to being a better version of myself rather than an inauthentic version of someone else. I try to focus my energies on the positive aspects of my life, and the constructive changes I want to make. I try to view others as inspiration, not competition. I have found this liberating. And I believe it has made me more accepting of others.

We have the power to think positively. We can use that power to look for the happiness that exists in ours lives, and, as much as possible, choose joy.