When Natural Scent Becomes Body Odour

RoseandJoan

Ah yes after holidaying in a country where body odour on males was acceptable, I’m quite happy it is not socially recommended in the UK. Would I have the courage to tell someone if their odour was effecting me? No!

November 22, 2010 at 5:33 am

Barbara

Veteran

Like most Americans, I shower daily, preferably in the morning. Most of my European friends, however, bathe or shower less frequently, but they have NEVER assaulted my nose with BO! Cleanliness is important, and, IMHO, daily bathing and using a deodorant/antiperspirant is absolutely necessary. Who would actually prefer to STINK?
I DO understand differing cultural norms, but reeking of BO isn’t one of mine.

November 22, 2010 at 5:34 am

Diana

As someone with virtually NO body odor (seriously) and a really, really good sense of smell, I totally HATE smelling it on others and find it even a bit nauseating sometimes. I prefer people to smell like nothing at all, or maybe mild soap. Really strong perfume is just as unpleasant to me as BO. In my opinion, people have different levels of tolerance for BO, so smelling like nothing is the best bet – that way nobody will be offended!

Unless it was a very good friend or close family member, I probably wouldn’t have the guts to tell someone they smelled. I’d probably just try to surreptitiously get away from them.

(Also, a good tip for those hot sweaty days when you think you smell but are at work or somewhere you can’t shower immediately – spraying some purell on your armpits (or whereever you are smelly) can be a quick fix since the alcohol kills the bacteria!)

November 22, 2010 at 5:49 am

krishnidoux

Veteran

I wish somebody could tell my 14 yr old boy…! I feel I’m constantly on his back about this. He’s so relaxed with BO I think I’m the neurotic one.

November 22, 2010 at 5:50 am

Kari

Veteran

I really do not like smelling it either on myself or on anyone else – I find it quite unpleasant – and I am one of those people who does tend to sweat and needs to shower daily and wear deodorant.

(Actually, my discomfort with my own scent probably is more noticeable and bothersome to me than it is to anyone else. In the once-in-a-blue-moon occasion when I forget deodorant or tooth brushing or something like that before leaving the house, I am self-conscious about it all day and try to do immediate something like wash with soap in the restroom or chew minty gum.)

A few thoughts:
* A family friend who is currently living in a very hot and humid part of the world mentioned that wearing deodorant not only isn’t a cultural norm, but it’s totally impractical because it literally gets sweated off before it can take effect. You just kind of have to get used to the odor of yourself & others around you.
* In a previous job, I actually did have this issue with a colleague, and we were never sure how to handle the topic. Our consensus is that we would only bring it up with the person if a customer actually said something, but it was clearly noticeable when this person walked into a room.
* Like Diana mentioned, I am almost as bothered by strong perfume as I am by body odor. When my allergies are acting up in the spring, and I encounter someone with a strong perfume, I end up sneezing uncontrollably with very itchy eyes until the person leaves. I had this happen once at work and chose not to say anything because the allergies were “my problem”, but if it had occurred on a daily basis I’d probably have been tempted to gently take the person aside and ask if she could possibly refrain from wearing the scent as strongly. (I really don’t think you should be able to smell someone’s perfume unless you are standing right next to them!)

I’d probably say something (gently and privately) to a close friend or family member who had noticeable body odor – if it were me, I’d much rather know about & do something to fix the problem rather than being the “smelly person” all day.

November 22, 2010 at 6:05 am

Ann

I think I could tolerate a little natural odor on someone who presented her/himself as otherwise clean and tidy. If the clothing is dirty and unkempt, or if the person was visibly grimy- I would be looking for another bus seat!

November 22, 2010 at 6:51 am

Kate

Veteran

Hmm, I think there is a difference between a person’s unique natural scent that you can detect when you hug them, and the body odor that you can smell when someone walks by. I prefer not to have any noticeable scent to the general public, so I keep clean but also don’t use many scented products. But if someone hugs me, I’m ok with smelling like “Kate” rather than like “the perfume Kate wears”.

November 22, 2010 at 7:04 am

Maya

Veteran

Oh dear, this is complicated.

I have pretty uniform standards regarding scents, whether natural or perfume: Keep it to yourself, please. Sometimes I will wear a bit of Bath and Body Works Sweet Pea, but just enough so that I can enjoy it without invading another person’s space. Not everyone likes the same scents and I respect that. The idea that everyone must be forced to tolerate your “marvelous” BO is just the height of arrogance to me, though. I don’t want to make perfume wearers feel badly at all, but I have the same feeling as Diana: smelling like nothing or perhaps clean laundry is best.

That said, Kate’s comment definitely made me think. Even with regular bathing, most people have a unique scent–not an odor really, just a personal identifying smell. It’s usually mild enough that you aren’t going to detect it unless you are in very close proximity. If you’re that close, odds are it won’t bother you…and might even be the reason you’re so close! Pheromones! A whole other layer of discussion.

November 22, 2010 at 7:19 am

rae

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Kate, natural scent and body odor are different things to me. For example, if I borrow a shirt from my sister or bf, I can smell their scent on it — and it’s a different smell than when they sweat (a smell I don’t particularly enjoy).

A friend of mine has a very sensitive nose and often rejects dates because she doesn’t like a man’s scent — but even if she’s in a relationship with someone, and like’s their scent, she still doesn’t like them to get all sweaty and grungy.

November 22, 2010 at 7:26 am

Joy

Veteran

Discussing someone’s BO with them would really depend on who they are and our relationship. I did have to have this conversation several years ago with my dad. He was suffering from senile dementia but we were not yet aware of it. He just plain didn’t want to bathe. Later I found out that this is common in older people, not so much because they don’t want to bathe but because trying to take a bath has become an overwhelming task which requires remembering how to remove clothing, how to operate the tub or shower, etc, and has the added danger of slipping or getting burned with hot water. It’s also probably one of the last things they would want family members to help with.
People seem much more open to discussing use of perfume. Just last week our church bulletin had a notice asking that members not wear scent. It had become a problem for those allergic and for those who are undergoing chemo.

November 22, 2010 at 7:36 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Kate, Rae and Maya, just to be clear, it’s your natural scent that has the potential to become masked by body odour when bacteria multiplies in perspiration. I too believe that they are not the same thing

November 22, 2010 at 7:37 am

DanaLynn

I think our culture is obsessed with sterilizing everything. The idea that bacteria on the skin is unhygienic is simply unrealistic. Unless you bathed in purell you will always have bacteria on your skin. On the other hand, some people mentioned being able to smell someone when they walk in a room, I think that is obtrusive, whether it is due to your body chemistry or a jaunt into Bath and Body works. I’ve never experienced someone naturally smelling that strongly- normally it is an overwhelming perfume or lotion. Either way, I think it is only polite to tone it down a bit.

I personally love the scent of my husband when he wakes up in the morning, before he showers. That’s when he smells most like himself. After he showers and shaves he smells like water and soap- which is pleasant, but not him. Both these scents are really only detectable when you’re snuggled up together though.

November 22, 2010 at 7:42 am

Jill

Tricky topic. Although I’d like to think I’d address a BO problem with a close friend or co-worker, it’s not quite so simple. My husband and I have a good friend who has bad BO and also hallitosis. He’s an otherwise very attractive guy. I know for a fact the hygiene problems have caused him to lose out in the romance department; one of his former girlfriends (and a friend of ours) fessed up, privately, that she broke up with him due to the unpleasant odors. But have my hubby and I talked directly with our friend about it? Sadly, no. Although my husband and II have discussed this possibility, neither of us have been able to figure out how to kindly raise the issue.

For infrequent bathers who think they have no BO (or who assume that, if it were bad, someone would point it out to them), not so fast. People get used to their own regular scents, so if you have BO on a day to day basis, you generally won’t be able to smell it. And even well-meaning friends and employers find it difficult to bring up. You might very well be missing out on social and professional opportunities due to a problem you don’t realize you have.

November 22, 2010 at 7:46 am

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

This is one of those area where so much is personal- sense of smell, how accustomed you are to natural body smells, etc.
I actually do know someone that has an ongoing body odor issue, and nobody will discuss it with her (least of all me- too chicken!). It’s so bad that people will rearrange their chairs at the park not to be sitting downwind of her. It’s sad, because she is a very nice person.

November 22, 2010 at 7:49 am

taylor

Veteran

This could be touchy!
Maya captured it for me! ” To be forced to smell someone else’s marvelous BO absolutely IS the height of arrogance ” for me also.
I don’t like to smell anything that is unpleasant or stinky. I won’t eat food if it smells funky…no matter how good it might taste to someone else.

I think it is just common courtesy and good grooming to NOT smell offensive around other people., and BO is offensive.

November 22, 2010 at 7:55 am

Pink Overalls

(website)

Active Member

This is a fascinating topic, Ang. I’ve read how fragrances in general can be serious hormone disruptors, an important consideration for women. And many people are have allergic reactions to fragrances. But what’s a gal to do? I love to smell pretty!

I’ve found that if I don’t eat meat or dairy foods, I don’t have any problem with body odor and don’t need a deodorant. I always stay away from antiperspirants unless I’m going to be in a stressful situation and close to others, which limits my need to when I am flying.

Did you know that during the Vietnam War, the Vietnamese could always smell the Americans because of the difference in diets? They called us “butter stinkers.”

I hope some readers can recommend healthful alternatives to unhealthful fragrances. I have a friend who uses vanilla.

I think as long as we shun fragrances, we have to be extra diligent about daily or twice-daily bathing.

http://www.safecosmetics.org/article.php?id=222

November 22, 2010 at 8:27 am

bj1111

Veteran

i love how hubby smells a trifle masculine when i snuggle at the end of the day. on other men, i doubt i would find it as attractive. i also would not find it as attractive if i could smell his “masculinity” from a distance greater than a foot.

November 22, 2010 at 8:58 am

Cricket

So interesting! I’m convinced hormones play a role in this too, because I was pregnant through the hot summer and only needed to use baking soda as my deodorant. But since giving birth at the end of September, I can’t anymore! So strange.

November 22, 2010 at 9:22 am

catgirl

Veteran

Okay, I’m going to be the odd one out here. I think Americans can be just plain silly about body odor and hair. I was born and raised in New England, so I am more than familiar with the most uptight of social mores. There is of course a huge difference between a little sweat and genuine ongoing skank, which is always offensive. But I would SO much rather smell even a stinky person just back from a workout than a woman slathered in perfume, cologne, or cigarette smoke. Sweat and BO do not make me sneeze, my eyes water, or give me breathing issues.

I also think a lot of people attribute BO to “foreigners” (including my own immigrant father, who hands deoderant to all our visiting male relatives from India!).

I do understand how smells can be offensive to people, but I think it’s also a matter of perspective. In countries where BO is not considered offensive, I think the perception of it is not even there, and when I travel to such places, frankly – my nose adjusts.

Just my two cents.

November 22, 2010 at 9:22 am

RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

Okay, “butter stinker” is making me laugh!

As others have said, personal scent – be it natural or a touch of perfume – can be very enjoyable. I have a very poor sense of smell, so take that into account when I say the following:

I can recall 3 individuals whose scent was ridiculously over-powering and to two of them I did say something.

The first was a co-worker at a veterinary office. 8am. November. This guy reeked like BO. It was offensive to clients and something had to be said.

The second was fellow student in college who wore far too much cologne. Enough that you didn’t want to ride the elevator with him as it was over powering. I don’t think anyone ever said anything to him.

Sadly, the third is my DH. Normally he doesn’t smell badly, but he went through a phase where he refused to wear deodorant but also has a very physical job. I was terribly blunt about it: “You stink!” It didn’t fill up a room, but if he walked past you’d get a whiff on those sweaty days. He finally came around, thank goodness!

I also find it problematic when I’m walking through a public space and I smell someone’s perfume but they are long gone. I like perfume, but I only want to smell you when we’re close, thanks!

November 22, 2010 at 9:24 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Wow. Great comments and thoughts. Keep them coming.

Cricket, pregnancy tends to change our body chemistry. Makes sense.

Jill and Chewy, that’s sad. I’ve have conversations about B.O. with work employees and close family. It was uncomfortable at the time but totally worth it.

Kari and Random Thoughts, thanks for sharing your experiences.

The visceral reaction to perfume and cologne tends to surprise me. Please don’t get me wrong as I *am* empathetic to those who suffer from allergies. It’s awful to suffer! It’s just that the often negative reaction surprises me since it has never been a topic of conversation since I moved to the US. Very interesting

November 22, 2010 at 9:39 am

Kim from Nebraska

Sometimes they smell because people don’t launder their clothing often enough. I had a coworker who always looked clean, but he did smell, because he only washed shirts, pants, etc. after two, three or four wearings. Yuck. We got our boss to tell him to wash his clothing more frequently. I had season basketball tickets next to an obese woman who smelled terribly…I am sure it was because she did not launder her clothes (she wore the same outfit to every game). She did not look dirty but she did smell bad.

There was some forum I was reading recently where they suggested putting high-end denim in the freezer to “refresh” rather than wash, as frequent washing apparently damages expensive jeans. I guess I would rather buy cheap jeans and launder. I shower daily, sometimes more often, because I work out and am a profuse sweater and need to get the salty stinky out of my hair and off my body.

November 22, 2010 at 9:47 am

Joanne

I also think we are too fastidious about normal body aromas. I bathe every day in summer and use antiperspirant/deoderant, but often switch to every other day in winter unless I get sweaty or dirty, like when doing a deep clean in the house or heavy yard work. Daily showers in winter dry my skin too much,and if all I’ve been doing is paperwork and maybe getting dinner, I don’t feel it’s absolutely necessary. A soapy washcloth on the face, armpits, lady parts, and feet will hold me over until the next day.

People who wear enough perfume or cologne to smell them any farther away than when you are getting a hug are wearing too much, IMO. I rarely wear perfume, and find the scent (on myself or my man) of lightly sweaty RECENTLY WASHED skin delightful. It reminds me of summer, hikes in the woods on a fine day, and romance in a field of tall grass. Ah, how I miss those days of my youth.

BO you can smell from several feet away is another story, and is easily prevented with the proper underarm product and resonably frequent baths.

I also agree that a slightly sweaty body due to exercise or summer temperatures, on someone who otherwise looks clean, is less offensive than the smell of too much perfume or stale tobacco.

Why are we so averse to the natural smell of the human body that we do anything we can to eradicate it in favor of smelly artificial scents is a mystery to me.

November 22, 2010 at 9:55 am

Mac

Veteran

I’d never tell anyone that they had BO. Some people genuinely cannot help it. A college housemate had a boyfriend who smelled so rank we had to open all the windows and air out the entire building (no joke) after he’d spend the night. He showered twice/ day and wore lots of deodorant; telling him that he befouled the air everywhere he went would have just humiliated him, I think.

I don’t like stale body odor on myself or others. Sometimes, like when my ex would come in from a long run, he’d smell very sweaty before he hopped in the shower and that didn’t much bother me: short-lived and appropriate. But in Paris 2003 (during the European heatwave when literally thousands of French people died), I found the stench on the subways, offices and stores really quite dreadful. And knowing that I probably didn’t smell particularly fresh myself was tough, too.

A French boss I had – a powerful woman, CEO, from a good family and regularly featured in newspapers, etc. – was known throughout both our offices and our industry for her BO. I sat next to her quite a few times and, alas, the reputation was well-deserved. I found this upsetting; how hard to be a bright, accomplished woman (especially in a relatively sexist culture like France) who is mocked because of smell! In that case, I do wish that her husband or close friend had mentioned something to her. The combination of her high professional position and level of stench would have even warranted talking to some doctors to see if some kind of medical cure could be given.

November 22, 2010 at 10:00 am

Zapotee

Let me throw a pickle on this conversation with a slightly similar issue. Not necessarily BO, yet it is in the ballpark.

I’m currently working on a case with someone who appears to be a heavy drinker. You can smell the alcohol in her breath every morning. The representatives of the company we are visiting appear to have noticed as well. You would think that HR would bring the issue up. To date, no one and I mean NO ONE wants to start that conversation.

I guess BO is to be suffered in silence.

November 22, 2010 at 10:22 am

Claudia

Poor hygiene that causes BO is one thing, but culture specific diets and food seasonings/spices, medical conditions and individual body chemistry are something entirely different. Because there are so many variables that may cause this issue, bringing up bad BO to a person is an incredibly personal and highly sensitive thing. I would only carefully bring up the topic to a very, very close family member — and only in the context of an obvious first scenario: poor hygiene habits.

The only other exception I can think of would be to mention to close family members, and avoid close contact with my intimate partner when he has garlic breath and taste. Ugh! But then I have to understand and not be overly hurt and sensitive when I am pointed out as the garlicky one.

Personally, I don’t think that people with noticeably bad BO are as big a problem in our overly sanitized culture as those that are overly scented with purposely applied perfumes, no matter how great that person may find “their special scent,” and the many layers of additional product fragrances (in soaps/laundry detergent/shampoo/hair styling products/deodorants/moisturizers/cosmetics) that combine together and waft in the air around them and us. I agree with the others that mention smelling heavily applied perfumes as highly offensive and hugely inconsiderate, mostly because this is an active choice. I work with a lovely woman that I really like, she’s beautiful and beautifully dressed, very clean and well groomed but whose perfume makes me want to gag. It literally burns the back of my nose when she stands near me. I would not be able to bring myself to complain about this to her, even though this is something within her power to change, because I am able to move away from her as soon as possible. If I had to sit next to her all day, every day, with no quick escape, I don’t know how I’d handle it and I’m relieved to have never been put in that position. Obviously this woman must find this perfume scent enjoyable herself, and most likely her husband and others must have complimented her at some point, but I sure wish she used a much lighter spritzing.

My heart goes out to anyone that has to be in close quarters with someone that has bad BO, whether than can help it or not.

November 22, 2010 at 10:39 am

April

Veteran

I am definitely the product of a culture that does not find body odor pleasant or socially acceptable, though I can’t imagine having that conversation with another adult. I think my chosen course if faced with that situation would be silence and avoidance.

November 22, 2010 at 10:48 am

biscuitsmom

Veteran

boy, does this subject hit home…my sister has really severe psoriasis (over 85% of her body) and showering for her is like holding a lit cigarette to the skin. So she showers *very* infrequently, often stays in the same clothes for a few days and is a heavy smoker. Not a good combination…so when I have to be in very close quarters (like a car, especially in winter) I literally feel sick to my stomach. I tried -very gently- broaching the subject once and was met with near hysteria. So I suffer in silence…

November 22, 2010 at 11:28 am

Claudia

Zapotee, I don’t know if this is the case with your co-worker but someone can smell strongly of alcohol from diabetes, or a yeast infection.

November 22, 2010 at 11:39 am

firefly

Active Member

I’ve only had the delicate conversation once, with someone close to me. I tried to bring it up in a way that was reasonably light hearted but made it clear that it was a problem, and it seemed to work, as there was a fairly marked change in habits subsequently.

I’m a crew member for a dance company where I have a lot of contact with beginners, and I always try and make a point of mentioning that partner dancing is a close contact physical activity. Again I make it lighthearted by saying that I have definitely showered, brushed my teeth that day and have refrained from eating strong-smelling foods so hope that I am pleasant to be in close quarters with. Hopefully putting myself in the limelight that way rather than singling someone else out, even in private, highlights the issue without causing anyone embarrassment.

I understand where people are coming from about not wanting to mention the issue; it can be a very delicate matter. However I hope someone would bite the bullet and tell me if I was ever causing people discomfort; I’d be very embarrassed but hope I would be grateful that someone cared enough to overcome their own embarrassment and talk to me.

November 22, 2010 at 11:56 am

Kylara7

DanaLynn already said what I was going to say…I adore my partner’s natural scent and don’t like how it disappears under soap/shampoo smell after he showers. There is definitely a difference between “natural scent” and BO though…after he works out at the gym or does some strenuous physical task, it’s a completely different smell. He likes my natural scent as well, and we have gotten in the habit of NOT showering daily as a result. Biology and body chemistry varies widely (as most bio-based traits tend to do), so some people may just be naturally more “odiferous” and need to bathe more often while others can get away with going days between washes. I have good friends who would tell me (and I’ve also just plain ASKED) if I stunk so I think I’m ok with my periodic showers

November 22, 2010 at 11:57 am

Kyrania

Active Member

I live in Switzerland and although I will not venture into the whole Europeans rarely bathe and women never shave thing, I can say that here the Swiss people take such great pride in their bathing rooms (and everything else Swiss). Top of the line and state of the art facilities….even in public restrooms one can find an ULTRA clean uber modern shower….and people DO use them.

After the last post I tried NOT washing my hair for a day….although it is not a horrific odor I found it unpleasant. Hair has a natural smell but I feel unclean unless I scrub from head to toe…..After my kidney transplant I could NOT shower…..Uuuugh bed baths or whatever they’re called was better than nothing….BUT the moment I was allowed to shower (13 days later) my spirits were lifted, I FELT invigorated and I know this affected my positive thought and healing process.

I cannot bear horribly strong and pungent BO or unclean hair. And yes…I have told people, that I know, only because I’m not sure they are aware of it. I sure hope someone would tell me IF I smelled unpleasant…

OH…and I ALWAYS carry mints. If someone has very bad breath I will OFFER the mint and If they decline I then proceed to tell them that YES…you really NEED it. Of course I am considerate…I know there are illnesses and what-not and usually I am intuitive when I meat such people….at which point I’ll smile and stand upstream.

November 22, 2010 at 12:34 pm

Gaylene

Veteran

Coincidentally we just were discussing this topic in my nonverbal communication class last week. It was an enlightening discussion since approximately half my class this semester are from outside North America.

As other respondents have pointed out, what is an “acceptable” way to smell is very culture-specific (and I don’t mean “culture” just in the sense of different countries.) What really caught my attention, however, was the almost universal distaste for overly scented bodies– whether BO or perfumed. And, surprisingly, men who wore too much fragrance came in for the most criticism.

When I asked the class the question “Would you prefer someone to tell you if you had a scent problem?”, every one of my students responded in the affirmative. They did qualify that they would prefer the information to be conveyed privately and sensitively so they could take corrective measures. As one student summed it up, it’s not right to talk about my problem with others but not with me.

November 22, 2010 at 12:44 pm

Kyrania

Active Member

I also believe in BodyMind and Louise Hay has a great book Heal Your Body and YES…mental/thought patterns that create body odor…This kind of thinking is well outside of the box and requires one to REALLY look deeper into the self…

” Some people may not be aware of Louise Hay; Louise has been writing self healing books for a number of years and has put forward the concept that every illness is a manifestation of unresolved emotional thoughts and experiences. In fact, she stated that, “for every effect in our lives, there is a thought pattern that precedes and maintains it. The way we think creates our experiences and by making changes to our thinking patterns, we can change our experiences.” Our unchecked emotions are often responsible for dis-ease that we create in our bodies: Emotions such as Criticism, Anger, Guilt and Resentment.”

and here is what it says under Body Odor: Fear. Dislike of the self. Fear of others.

November 22, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Mimi

Stress can trigger nasty BO which smells totally different from sports sweat. I’m fine with the latter.

And I have told a male coworker that we were all having a problem with his personal hygiene, but since the men all just talked about him and did nothing I took on the task. It was actually a good experience to have taken action.

November 22, 2010 at 1:44 pm

wilson

Active Member

Certain types of body odor bother me than others. Under-arm odor does not bother me at all in casual settings but I it does if I expect more professionalism. Sour and yeasty body odors bother me and so do heavy artificial scents. I would rather sit next to a person a on a plane with a mild underarm odor than someone wearing perfume. I don’t talk to people about their body odor unless they specifically ask me. It seems like the people in my life with bad breath or too much perfume usually have a genuine smile and lots of love that more than makes up for it so it becomes a moot point.

November 22, 2010 at 1:49 pm

Cecilia

Ever since I moved to the US as a teenager and my parents berated me for BO, I have been paranoid about it. I always carry an antiperspirant/deodorant stick. And even though I don’t perspire all that much, I haven’t yet found a stick that is efficient for more than a couple of hours. When I was pregnant, nothing worked for me, and I was mortified by the thought that anyone would “smell” me.

When my youngest brother became a teenager and had very strong BO, I made sure that he knew that it was noticeable. I would hate for people to have to suffer in silence near him, or worse, talk about it behind his back! I also approached a student in my classroom once, and tried to make it as lighthearted as possible because other students were commenting behind her back. As much of an embarrassment as it must have been for her to hear it from the teacher, I felt that it was much better than being the butt of jokes… It is a very personal and sensitive subject, but I hate being the source of malicious gossip and if I can help, I won’t let anyone be in that spot…

November 22, 2010 at 2:35 pm

LegacyOfPearl

(website)

I’m generally easy going if it is a rare situation, but consistent BO tends to trigger angry feelings in me towards the other person. I keep reminding myself it is still the same person, but can’t help my emotions. Sometimes it is not the person, but the clothes smell.

I had three situations (friend, colleague, cousin) I talked to the other person about consistent BO and they all turned out to be positive experiences for both of us. Now I enjoy their company much better.

November 22, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Beth

Veteran

After spending the last 20 years in mental health services of one kind or another, I can still remember certain adolescent boys who refused to bathe. It took literally hours for me to get the smell out of my nose after spending time with them. Uggghhh.

I don’t like strong scent of any kind. Another work-related encounter was with a middle aged male teacher whose aftershave filled a room long after he had left it. He left his cologne on desks, chairs and worst, the telephone receiver. I’m sure he thought he smelled delightful. I don’t know if he intentionally doused himself of if his nose had just adjusted over time.

Having a strong smell of any kind is inconsiderate of those around you. Pheromones are an entirely different animal though, and the research on them is interesting. I can say that DH is the best smelling person I’ve ever sniffed in my life. Besides his other sterling qualities, I think I was a goner the first time I nuzzled his neck. *blush*

November 22, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Sihaya

Veteran

Very interesting topic. I look forward to reading the comments later, just browsing quickly from an airport right now. I think you nailed it Angie when you said it was a question of a delicate balance. There are some men where I get a slight and not yet unpleasant whiff that I can even find somewhat attractive. However, when it gets to the level of what I would label odor, it’s a huge turnoff. Also, sometimes, some types of body odor can be an indication that something is wrong health wise for the person. For instance, my body cannot chemically process garlic so I have a VERY rancid smelling aura about me if I mistakenly eat something with even a little bit of garlic – much more than what people typically experience. I was in the unfortunate position once of having to tell an employee about their BO problem. It was so bad that his co-workers were complaining that they could no longer bear to work in the same space as him. So I had to work up my courage and all my diplomacy skills and smell er, spell out the message to him. Fortunately it was a happy ending as he was open to the feedback and took action immediately.

November 22, 2010 at 5:12 pm

annoyed wife

I am currently married to someone who believes he has no body odor, and washes once a week. He also re-wears clothes he has worn all day at work. I find it appalling. That being said, I have moved into another bedroom because I cannot stand the smell, and will be “moving” even further if it continues. The worst part is when his employees complain to me about it!

November 22, 2010 at 5:23 pm

shana

Veteran

I’m the camp of not liking too much of any scent. Natural human scent I can handle and a hint of perfume can be quite pleasant but anything I can smell from more than a foot away, including, BO, perfume/aftershave, bad breath etc is not so great. To me the worst offender is cigarette smoke – it gives me an instant migraine, the have-to-go-lie-down-in-a-cool-dark-room-otherwise-I-will-vomit kind of migraine.

With some people it really is not BO as much as stinky clothes. I remember visiting my BIL in Cologne when he was a student and though he showered every day, it was obvious he did not launder his clothes as often as he should have. They reeked!!

Diet has alot to do with it too, especially a spicy one. I remember my brother teasing my young cousins freshly arrived from India about their BO. The fact of the matter was that they showered twice a day and since my mom did their laundry, I knew it wasn’t their clothes. I didn’t specifically talk to them about it but I did buy them Victoria’s secret gift sets with scented body washes, splashes etc for Christmas. I think they got the hint. But it wasn’t until some time later when they adopted more of a western diet that I noticed their body scent change.

Likewise, I remember going to India as a teenager and trying to score a deal on something in a local shop. My uncle had advised me to keep quiet and not reveal my origins. I was dressed and looked like everyone else – traditional clothes, long braided hair but the shop owner instantly recognized my ruse and asked me where I lived in the states. I asked him how he knew and he replied that it was the way that I smelled!

November 22, 2010 at 5:51 pm

Irene

Veteran

I have a Bulgarian female friend who, (I think) doesn’t shower so often or otherwise her natural odour appears very easily and it kind of bothers me a bit, but would never tell her. As for me, I hate it when I smell. This weekend I went to London and of course I overdressed myself (it was really cold outside) with a long-sleeved t-shirt, a very thick polar fleece jacket (look this one up on google lol) and one of those jackets stuffed with feathers that are perfect for the snow. And I had to wear everything for two or three hours inside the airport as I had too many things to walk around with already and nobody to help me with them, so I ended up smelling a lot. I don0t think anybody else noticed, since after noticing myself I would not take off the fleece jacket no matter how warm it was, but I felt so so so bad. First think I told my friend when I finally met her was: I need to shower and change clothes, don’t hug me, I smell like sh*t.

November 23, 2010 at 3:36 am

An

Active Member

I don’t appreciate BO and I even moreso detest the smell of unwashed, musty clothes. I was being assisted by a sales assistant in a shoe store recently and she looked fab but it was all ruined by the smell of musty clothes – really unpleasant!

As far as telling someone who smelt of BO – I would find this really hard and probably wouldn’t do this unless it was a close family member. When I was in high school (about 14 or 15 yo) one of the boys smelt quite badly of BO and one of the girls organised for everyone to bring in their empty deorderant cans which where all put into his locker. Awful, awful, awful, it still makes me cringe to think about it even 20 yrs down the track. Why do kids have no empathy??? Poor guy. Luckily he took it quite well and went on to be a good friends with the same group that gave him a hard time.

November 23, 2010 at 3:42 am

Meredith

Active Member

This is a very tricky subject. I loathe body odor, and it literally almost makes me want to gag when I smell it on other folks. If I had bad body odor, I would certainly want someone to tell me. (I’m nervously smelling my pits right now!)

On the other hand, I know a few folks who have chronically bad body odor. They are wonderful people, and I don’t know if they don’t care or truly don’t notice it. I have never talked to them about it, but I truly cannot imagine bringing such a mortifying topic up with someone else.

November 23, 2010 at 8:53 am

Scarlet

Veteran

I currently encounter many unpleasant people smells in my day, but to stay on topic, I think that if someone does not use deodorant but washes up every day and wears clean clothes, even though they may have a little BO, it is tolerable because it is only detectable up close and does not linger in the room. When I can smell where a person has been or smell them from a short distance away, it is really disgusting. Nevertheless I have not brought this up with anyone directly. I think I need Kyrania to join me at work one day and sort people out. She could work on the folks in the subway too.

November 23, 2010 at 11:48 am

C

The problem with ignoring the rules of hygiene of your present location (US, 2010) is that you can’t smell yourself, so you have no idea if you are creating a problem. You are gambling, and though other people may be offended by your scent level, the person you’re really hurting is yourself. 9 times out of 10 no one will tell you something is wrong and so you will be known as the smelly kid no one wants to be around.
I try to offset that by saying something in situations where it is appropriate. Colleague with slight B.O.? I usually let it pass. Waiter in a fancy restaurant with such a strong scent that is was physically nauseating? I told the manager. It was just awful, and I’m pretty sure the guy had no idea. When I am trapped with a smelly person I tend to get pissy.

November 23, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Lisa

Veteran

I’m not a fan of natural BO. It flat out stinks, literally and figuratively. I understand it is a natural process but I’ve grown up in an environment where I do not appreciate this natural “beauty” of the human body. If someone smells offensive, I will try to distance myself as soon as possible from them. If it is a close friend or relative I will tell them. Ditto for smelly breath.

November 23, 2010 at 4:28 pm

style consultant prince

(website)

Body odor is embarrassing and so is unhygienic. When bad scent is present, bacterias are present. I learned something from herbal medical doctors called the acid that kills bacteria. The specific acid is the acid from oranges or calamansi fruit. Apply them on your armpit and it can guarantee a 100% free body odor. Try it and be amazed.

November 23, 2010 at 11:53 pm

Pristine

Actually, I would like to know what the proper etiquette is regarding informing a friend about their body odour. It wouldn’t bother me much if I didn’t have to spend much time with the person, but if you’re good friends with someone, the body odour from not showering regularly becomes an issue when you meet up often. What’s the right thing to say?

November 24, 2010 at 5:22 am

Ljubica

Active Member

I’ve had to inform a close relative of the bad smell. It wasn’t a pleasant moment.

November 24, 2010 at 7:10 am

Lotus

Active Member

Ewww, body odor. A slight amount is fine, especially when it’s been really hot or the person has been doing work, but I’ve had to stand downwind of people who stunk like onions rotting in the sun. If I know them, I try to subtly and privatedly just let them know. I’ve also sat on a bus with someone wearing so much cologne that I could smell him when he was still outside. Also very unpleasant.

Most people have a slight natural scent, though, which isn’t unpleasant. It’s somewhere between too much and too little hygiene.

August 30, 2011 at 11:23 pm

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