Applying lipstick in public: yay or nay

malcontent

I do it, but I try to be discreet. I don’t like the dry lip feel either, and I feel so drab when I am socializing and I know my lipstick has come off due to eating or drinking.

January 13, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Jamie

Angie, you always hit on the most interesting topics! I was taught that this type of activity should occur in private. Like you, I like to freshen up my lipstick after a meal or a cup of coffee, so I always feel a bit uncomfortable if I can not find a restroom – but if I am short on time or in a location where it is not feasible, I have my lipstick in a cute little compact with a mirror and can perform the “freshen-up” very quickly!
I do have to admit, that I do find it somewhat distasteful, given my upbringing, when one of my girlfriends does her “freshen-up” whilst folks at the table are still eating, but I think that is just one of my little quirks.

January 13, 2010 at 4:24 pm

Luinae

(website)

I do it too- but I don’t walk down the hallway applying lipstick. I think if you’re sitting or have just finished a meal, sure. But walking down the street looks a little bit tacky to me.

January 13, 2010 at 4:36 pm

Kathleen

I am from the South and raised in a home that required proper manners/etiquette in social circles. I was taught it was within proper social graces to refresh your lipstick at the table after the meal is finished.

January 13, 2010 at 4:46 pm

Meredith

Nay – At a dinner table.
Yay – Everywhere else.

January 13, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Beth

Veteran

I’m OK with a quick swipe of lipbalm at the table, but less comfortable with the whole lipstick-and-mirror thing. I never said I was rational!

January 13, 2010 at 5:05 pm

Michele

Interesting question. I hate seeing women apply makeup in public, and that includes checking yourself out in a hand mirror – it implies vanity and self absorption. However, I do apply lip balm (usually in the car) but that doesn’t require a mirror. I can run it around my lips and don’t need to see what I am doing. But I would never ever do that with a lipstick. I guess the decider is whether you can see the product……at least for me.

January 13, 2010 at 5:07 pm

marianna

Veteran

Nay, but I still do it. :o)

I don’t think it is the classiest thing to do, but I also can’t stand dry lips so I will apply lipgloss and lip balm in public. But I try to be as discreet about it as possible.

January 13, 2010 at 5:10 pm

Debbie

Big nay for me if you’re with other people. I don’t equate it with stylish or not, more like good manners. I think personal grooming should be done in private.

January 13, 2010 at 5:22 pm

mare

I agree with Michele – lip balm implies health while lip stick (or other cosmetics) imply vanity and I feel vanity should be maintained in private.

January 13, 2010 at 5:25 pm

Margaret

being discreet is the way to go – I apply lipgloss quickly without a mirror until I can groom behind closed doors with a mirror for a better application.

January 13, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Interesting!

I’m not sure whether applying lip balm lets you off the vanity hook. It’s a good question.

January 13, 2010 at 5:56 pm

Beadbug

I am addicted to Burt’s Bees Pomegranate Lip Balm and apply it often but then I don’t need a mirror for this. It has become a bit of a bad habit.

January 13, 2010 at 5:59 pm

jeune

I agree with Kathleen as I was taught the same thing. I’ve taught myself to re-apply lipstick discreetly WITHOUT a mirror. It’s easy. I just turn away from my fellow diners and swipe it on. I can’t stand dry lips or that little bit of lipstick left in a ring around the lips while the rest is bare.

What I can’t stand is when women whip out an arsenal of lipliner, lipbrush, lipstick and apply it all in stages at the table. Ugh. Some women even slap the whole makeup kit on the table and go at the eyeliner, mascara, etc. Double ugh. Discreet quick lipstick application or lip balm is ok, nothing else is, in my book. Particularly not lip liner.

January 13, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Maya

Veteran

I always thought the whole point of manners and etiquette was to make people feel MORE comfortable, not less. I have chronically dry lips and apply lip balm religiously, more so in the winter. Anyone who thinks their arbitrary idea of politeness trumps my cracked chapped lips isn’t someone I want to eat with anyway!

January 13, 2010 at 6:40 pm

mamark

I will not do a whole lipliner, lip color, gloss thing but I will do a swipe of lipstick. I have a pretty compact I use for the mirror and use really pretty lipstick tubes. I think it’s OK and I think I recall Miss Manners saying so. I bought a book written by Clinton Kelly and I believe he said it was “gross” but then again, he probably doesn’t wear lipstick. (publicly.)

January 13, 2010 at 7:01 pm

AJ

Veteran

I don’t wear lipstick because my lips are very dry and no matter what I’ve tried, I can’t find a lipstick moist enough. I also do not like the little lipstick ring on a glass/cup/straw after I take a drink. It looks so gross to me and I feel the constant need to take my napkin and wipe if off the straw/glass/cup. (Anyone else do that?) So lipstick is just too much of a hassle for me.
I do put lip balm on at the table or if I’m just chatting with friends. I guess I’m with most in that I don’t have to whip out a mirror in order to apply it and it’s all done quickly so I’m OK with it.
I’ve never been with anyone who reapplied more than llipstick at the table. I’d definitely have a problem with that.

January 13, 2010 at 7:34 pm

malcontent

Active Member

To clarify, I will only do a quick swipe of gloss or a sheer lipstick. If I’m wearing red, I head to the bathroom to re-apply. And I would not pull out pencil or a brush and make a big production out of it.

Anyway, I’m okay with a little vanity.

January 13, 2010 at 7:34 pm

kimana517

(website)

Active Member

I’ve never applied/reapplied lipstick in public because 1) I rarely wear lipstick, and 2) because of that I must use a mirror to do so, and I don’t carry one with me. But I have absolutely no problem with applying lip gloss or chapstick anywhere, any time. If my lips feel dry, I reapply. (Hey, that rhymes!)

January 13, 2010 at 7:36 pm

janestigee

Member

I agree with the vanity versus health crowd – I recently spent time in single-digit temperatures and it was essential to apply balm upon going outdoors and frequently thereafter. I’d have swiped a color product if I’ve had one, but anything involving precise application – take it into the Ladies Room, Frida Kahlo.

January 13, 2010 at 7:42 pm

taylor

Veteran

guilty:)

January 13, 2010 at 7:56 pm

journey

the image of a well dressed woman applying lipstick reminds me of a scene from a glamorous old movie. yet being caught primping is excruciatingly embarassing for me, even if it’s in the privacy of a restroom. even if it’s just a quick swipe of burt’s bees chapstick!

January 13, 2010 at 8:07 pm

Cricket

So many Burt’s Bees fans! Me too!

I will reapply lip balm anywhere, but with lip gloss I’m usually more discreet. The only reason being that I am clumsy with it and need a mirror.

January 13, 2010 at 8:22 pm

Maya

Veteran

Journey reminded me–when I think of applying makeup in public, I think of hip little flapper girls in the 1920’s. It doesn’t bother me. I hate using public restrooms unless I really *need* to so I can see why some women would just rather do it wherever they are.

Lip balm is the equivalent of using hand lotion, but on your lips. I don’t see what the big deal is. Maybe I am just an incredibly rude person, but it always fascinates me to see what other people consider unacceptable or impolite because it is so often the kind of stuff that I never even think twice about (like the whole conversation about bare legs and boots).

I have seen people clip their nails on the subway. Now THAT is disgusting. Even I draw the line there!

January 13, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Tanya

Veteran

I reapply my lip balm pretty much any time, any place ( well I wouldn’t in front of my boss) because my lips get really dry. But for real lipstick I prefer privacy.

January 13, 2010 at 8:29 pm

Queen Mum

Veteran

I’m with most of the other gals- I do it but try to be discreet. Some factors might come into play too, such as who I am with (people I am more familiar with I am much more apt to whip out the lipstick without hesitation). It would also depend on what others are doing and how much I feel people are focusing on me. I guess I assess the situation before I pull out the lipstick…..

January 13, 2010 at 8:45 pm

Lesa

(website)

In public–all the time!

January 13, 2010 at 9:18 pm

Moni

I carry my lipstick in a beaded vintage lipstick case, which has a mirror built in, and I have no problem whipping that out and reapplying my lipstick. Like journey, I’m reminded of the glamorous film stars of the 50’s. Obviously it also depends on the situation. Dinner with family or friends? Lipstick’s coming out! Business lunch? Discreet lip balm or quick trip to the bathroom.

January 13, 2010 at 9:20 pm

Stephanie

(website)

I’d say go ahead with the lip balm, but avoid lipstick re-apply in public. Pop into the restroom really quickly; that way, you’ll be sure to put it on properly (thanks to mirrors!)

January 13, 2010 at 9:38 pm

lisawork2@msn.com

Some women make a big production out of putting on lipstick. I think they should go somewhere else. I don’t need to watch! Yuck!!

January 13, 2010 at 9:50 pm

Marley

No for lipstick. Yes – if discreet – for lipbalm.

January 13, 2010 at 10:29 pm

Mac

Veteran

I was always taught that it’s not acceptable to apply makeup in public WITH THE EXCEPTION of lipstick or powdering the nose. Now, I’ve never powdered my nose in my life, but I have been known to apply lipstick in public. Like most of you, I’d never do the whole lip primer/ liner/ lipstick/ gloss shebang out in full view, but a carefully drawn swath of colour or – yes – even a swipe of chapstick seems perfectly fine. In fact, I think it’s quite charming when I see other women applying lipstick after a meal, as long as it’s done relatively quickly and doesn’t include additional steps like blotting her lips with a napkin (yes, I saw a woman do that in a restaurant once).

January 13, 2010 at 10:33 pm

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I will apply lip balm in public, no problem, but I do retire to the rest room to reapply my lipstick. I wear red lipstick and use a brush to apply it. I feel like I would draw too much attention too myself if I did this this at the dining table.

I have no problem with other people applying lipstick in public.

January 13, 2010 at 11:06 pm

chelsea

i remember in the first year of medical school, someone (i forget if it was a clinical education professor or an upperclassman) really emphasized keeping the toiletries to the ladies room. if you’re in a service job like a doctor or a hotel manager, i would totally agree. save the public touch-ups for more casual settings.

January 13, 2010 at 11:39 pm

rute

Veteran

Oh.. Angie, I do this all the time to, I’m also obsessed! I MUST have my lips always moist. In public I apply lip balm and glosses because they are easy to apply without a mirror.

January 14, 2010 at 1:17 am

Kyrania

Active Member

One of my pet peeves is seeing lipstick stains smeeared around coffee cups, tea cups, napkins on somebodys lap and drinking glasses…..YUK! Yeah, maybe it works in forwarding a scene during a Romantic, Crime or Thriller MOVIE….

I used to blot before eating or drinking when wearing regular lipsticks UNTIL the color stay formulas came ’round….long lasting lipsticks and stains are the only lip colors i Use.

So, YES..I apply the shine coat everywear and only when I want shine except the dinner table…don’t really need it because even after a meal coffee and a snack, i still have a NICE flat color and shine can wait.

January 14, 2010 at 2:03 am

Phoebe

Veteran

Lip balm is medicine and a necessity, I use it 100 times a day. Lipstick is make-up, and unless it´s a very light color that you can apply without looking, in a discreet manner, you shouldn´t go for it in public.
Applying tomato- or dark-red lipstick in public is vulgar. It can even have a sexual connotation, which is of course totally inappropriate.
Personally, I hesitate applying lipstick even in a public restroom – I really need the privacy of my own bathroom.

PS: the most unbelievable thing I saw a few weeks ago in a (fancy) restaurant: an elderly lady CLIPPING HER NAILS AT THE TABLE!! That´s another league, I guess…;)

January 14, 2010 at 5:56 am

Dusty

(website)

Active Member

I’m okay with lip balm, but I think lipstick should be done in the restroom. More of a manners thing than a style thing, though. To me, it’s more an issue of keeping your attention focused on the people you’re dining with than anything else. Lip balm can be completely automatic, lipstick takes more concentration.

January 14, 2010 at 5:56 am

Kelly

I’m not a lipstick person, but I have no qualms about applying balm or gloss in public. I could care less if someone reapplies lipstick in public either. Who am I to say my lip balm is any different from their lipstick?

January 14, 2010 at 6:24 am

Sally McGraw

(website)

Active Member

Nah. In fact, I think it’s a wee bit sexy to see a woman reapplying!

January 14, 2010 at 6:39 am

Kristine

Veteran

I usually only wear sheer tinted lip balm and I’ll apply that discreetly in public, but not at the dinner table. For me lipstick requires a mirror, so I’d find a bathroom for applying that.

Doing more than a quick touch-up implies your appearance is more important than the company. It’s no different than texting or talking on a cell phone in front of people. There are shades of grey though, dinner with a close friend is different than a business lunch for example.

January 14, 2010 at 6:41 am

redhead

Wow…I am waaay out of the majority here. Refreshing lipstick is not like checking/reapplying deoderant or spraying hairspray at the table. I have no problem with it, especially since it takes seconds to accompllish. I also agree with Sally, I have been told that men find it alluring.

January 14, 2010 at 6:56 am

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

I don’t usually do this, but I should. I just forget. I use Aquaphor to moisturize my lips several times a day, so they never get crackly.
I don’t mind when someone does this, it’s just when somebody makes a scene of it. That usually only happens with young girls who feel the need to constantly re-apply makeup.
Angie is super classy when it comes to re-applying lipstick. I bet you don’t get that compliment every day.

January 14, 2010 at 7:22 am

malcontent

Active Member

I collect old etiquette books, and, once women started wearing makeup, it was generally considered acceptable to apply lipstick or powder one’s nose with a compact mirror in public, if it was done quickly and discreetly. Long-wearing lipsticks aren’t an option for all women. They dry my lips out and turn a funny color on me.

I’ve been wearing lipstick since I was ten and it’s not something I could give up, despite the occasional smear on my water glass. I’m very fair-skinned and when I don’t wear lipstick I’m forced to answer prying questions about my health.

January 14, 2010 at 7:56 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Great comments. (Thank you, Sarah!)

So, if you can apply gloss or lipstick in a quick swipe, sans the mirror and lip liner rigmarole – I see no difference between lip balm and lipstick. It’s the same thing in my book and takes less than two secs.

As for public rest rooms, that’s where I draw the line. Unless they’re in fancy department stores or hotels, I wouldn’t dream of taking out my lipstick or lip balm in the loo. It freaks me out. Horses for courses! I too avoid public rest rooms as far as possible.

Maya and Phoebe! I can’t believe you’ve seen people cutting their nails in public. WOW.

January 14, 2010 at 7:57 am

Joy

Veteran

Like Sarah I use Aquaphor and find I don’t need balms. I’m with the group that says maybe lipbalm in a casual all-girl situation, otherwise seek out the ladies’ room…probably how I was raised. I very rarely see a woman applying lipstick in public, so it seems odd when it does happen. It seems a bit like cleaning your teeth in public, maybe necessary after a meal but best not done at the table.

January 14, 2010 at 8:11 am

marianne

Active Member

I do it, too, but I try to be discreet. My mom and grandma would think it unappropriate, so there is some guilty feeling associated with it

January 14, 2010 at 9:15 am

Christina F.

Active Member

I think it’s perfectly fine to apply lipstick, lipbalm etc. as long as you’re discreet about it. I’m with other commenters here as far as wanting to get out of public restrooms ASAP. I do not want to hang out there, touching up my face. Does anyone remember those great little mirrored dots that stick onto a lipstick tube end? So helpful since you can skip pulling out a purse mirror for lip touch-ups. And yes, I’ve also seen some too-intimate grooming going on in public. Ick.

January 14, 2010 at 9:36 am

shiny

Veteran

First, some background is necessary:

I rotate between lipstick, lightly colored lip gloss, and chapstick, and carry all three at all times. For months now, I’ve been sticking to the lip gloss for a subtle bit of color, but now that it’s winter, I need more color to my face.

I apply the lipstick before I leave the house. I really need a mirror, and access to kleenex to blot it properly. It’s rare I need to reapply it when I’m out – it’s a long lasting formula. If I do, it’s definitely done in the bathroom.

Meanwhile, I apply the lipgloss over the lipstick. The lipgloss doesn’t last as long, so yes, I reapply throughout the day – and occasionally at the table. I can do this without a mirror. My preference is to go to the bathroom, but if my husband is still finishing up his meal, I figure it’s ruder to dash away, so if dry lips are driving me batty, I apply it discretely and quickly as possible.

The chapstick – I hate to use it too much, because it’s not good for your lips. But my hubby bought me a key chain that has a holder for chapstick, which he’s addicted to, so I’m always pulling it out for *him*!!! He does not apply at the table though. He waits until we’re outside, or in the car.

January 14, 2010 at 9:51 am

MBZ

Discrete solution.

http://tinyurl.com/ydzu3wl

Little tubes of goodness. Slip out of purse or pocket, dab on pinky, apply…2 seconds max elapsed time. Voila! Lucious lips.

January 14, 2010 at 11:30 am

All Women Stalker

(website)

I do it all the time. Just lip gloss, though. I cannot stand having dry lips.

January 14, 2010 at 11:38 am

The Budget Babe

(website)

I’ll reapply lip gloss with lightning speed when I’m in public, but not lipstick which requires more time (and a mirror). I try to be as discrete as possible. I was raised not to apply makeup or brush one’s hair in public so I’ve stuck with that but I have absolutely no problem with anyone else doing it

January 14, 2010 at 11:47 am

Becci

I was once in the company of a woman who, upon finishing her dinner in a restaurant, whipped out her compact, her liner, lipstick, and gloss and did a full application. Unacceptable. Save that for the ladies room.

A quick touch up, or application of lip balm is ok…I do it. But not when I’m walking down the street. Not coordinated enough for that. And one commenter was right, I don’t look so cool trying!

January 14, 2010 at 11:58 am

Inge

I don’t hesitate to apply lip balm in public, but I can do that without a mirror. I’m not very handy when it comes to applying lipstick without smearing, so I never do this when out and about.

Come to think of it, you don’t see this very often in Belgium: a woman applying lipstick in public, people would probably stare at you for a few seconds;-)

January 14, 2010 at 12:42 pm

taylor

Angie,
Your comment cracked me up. I agree, the LAST place I am going is to a public restroom to contaminate my cosmetics, as well as everything else . I avoid them at all costs.

January 14, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

It never ever occured to me that publicly applying lipstick would be frowned upon in some circles, which is odd as I’m usually highly sensitive to public opinion. I don’t have the benefit of a mirror for any of my makeup application, so I suppose any touchups will seem relatively simple to me. Lipstick is the easiest cosmetic for me to apply by just simply following the contours of my lips. I do it in public without hesitation or shame. But I, too, would also draw the line at a full face refurbishment at at dinner table or other group setting. Lipstick is as far as I’d go for that.

P.S. I once walked into a conference room at a bank to find nail clippings on the table. Beyond disgusting!

January 14, 2010 at 2:34 pm

gina

(website)

I put on my Carmex anytime my lips feel chapped or dry, regardless of where I am.

I wouldn’t apply lipstick in public though; I’d look for a restroom or wait till I was in my car or my office. I don’t find it rude if others do it, but I personally feel more comfortable putting on and touching up make-up in private, or in a “designated” public space (like a public restroom).

January 14, 2010 at 9:26 pm

Isabel

Veteran

Hmmmm.

I apply lip balm everywhere except at a table, I will get up and do it at the entrance or foyer of an eating establishment ( even McDonald’s ). I won’t apply lipstick if I am with only one other person unless I excuse myself. If there is more than one other person and they are talking to each other and distracted from me, then I will do a quick apply, but not at a table. ( I know, bizarre ……).

To be honest, I used to have a supervisor that applied lipstick ALL THE TIME. While we ate, during conversations, at meetings with clients, etc. and it drove us all nuts. Because it seemed that she was distracted and not caring about what was being said.

January 15, 2010 at 6:16 am

kim

I apply lip balm in public, and I don’t see anything wrong with a swipe of lipstick at the table after the food has been cleared, but anything more than that I think is a big no-no. The worst was when I was at lunch with a friend, she pulled out a huge toilet seat cover and proceeded to blot her nose and forehead with it. She claimed that they work just as well as oil blotting sheets, but it TOTALLY grossed me out and I lost my appetite. It’s gross enough with regular oil blotting sheets.

January 15, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Cathy

I’m sorry – definitely nay on this one. I will tuck myself away somewhere for a couple of minutes to apply lipstick or lip balm. I find if very tacky to watch another woman (especially at a restaurant) reapply lipstick. Love your topics and your website Angie.

January 16, 2010 at 8:16 am

What you wear when you’re feeling blue

(website)

[…] outfits on days when I’m feeling a little sad in hope that they’ll cheer me up during the day (extra lipstick helps too). For me, a happy outfit means bright colours, strong colour contrasts and bold patterns, as […]

January 19, 2010 at 6:43 am

Anne

No no no!
Please don’t ever apply lipstick in public. Just WRONG.

January 29, 2010 at 5:56 am

Becky

I’m not posh or anything but i feel just a touch uncomfortable putting on even lip balm in public but thats just me. I don’t find it rude though because anyone who wears lippy knows its bound to rub off so a touch up in public isn’t exactly bad. I would only find it rude if someone did their makeup from scratch in public cuz that would be a lil odd!

October 17, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Lisa

I agree, it’s all about the mirror. If you can do a quick swipe with something that does not require a mirror it’s not so bad.

October 28, 2011 at 7:26 pm

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