Why Do You Want to Look Fab?

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Angie is co-founder of YLF and its resident fashion stylist.

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Why Do You Want to Look Fab?

— by Angie

on December 14, 2009

Why wear flattering clothing? Why bother with accessories, a nice hairdo, make-up and clear skin? As long as you are clean, your body is covered and your clothes are comfortable, why should you expend any effort at all to look appealing. It’s an interesting question.

I guess you wouldn’t be reading this blog if you weren’t interested in fashion, personal style and your physical appearance. Your reasons for being interested in this subject matter might be different from mine though. Here are the things that drive my interest:

Style is aesthetic. This might sound shallow, but I’m a very visual person. I get a kick out of being surrounded by beautiful design. From the interior of our house to the wrapping of packages and the car that I drive. The collars on our dogs are important and so is the tissue holder in my handbag. I even make the food on our dinner plates look pretty. So the way I present myself to the world is a natural extension of my aesthetic appreciation for everything. I guess it’s just the way I’m wired.
Dressing is an art form. A part of being a visual person is seeing the art in everything (I almost studied art instead of psychology). I like looking at the way other people are dressed because dressing is an art form. People are walking works of art. It’s fascinating to look at and appreciate all types of style.
Fashion is fun. I LOVE clothes, footwear and accessories. I thoroughly enjoy looking at them in stores and trying them on. And I love to shop, both for myself and for other people.
When I look good, I feel good. The way I look on the outside effects the way I feel on the inside. When I’m happy with my outfit and look attractive, I feel that I can take on the day. Obviously, my outer appearance is not the only thing that gets me through a day, but it helps knowing that I’m at least well turned out – in my eyes anyway.
I like to look good for other people. I actually do care what other people think and even though I am not always affected by what they say, I’d like the world to perceive me as a well put together individual.
I enjoy compliments. Who doesn’t?
It’s my bread and butter. I have to practice what I preach! It doesn’t make sense for a fashion stylist to be disinterested in the way they present themselves. Also, I’ve been immersed in the international fashion scene for 17 years and it’s part of who I am. I eat, sleep, drink and breath this stuff.

Do these reasons resonate with you? Why do you want to look fab? A penny for your thoughts.

Individual Style

65 comments · Add a comment

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

For many of the same reasons as yours, Angie (heh, except for the professional stylist part). When I’m dressed well, I feel more in control and I tend to handle stressful situations better. I also like to dress well out of respect for others, or for the situation (like when I attend church). And also – dressing well is fun!

December 14, 2009 at 9:19 am

Phoebe

Veteran

A truly philosophical question.
I can´t put it any better than you did, apart from the last argument I´d sign everything you said, Angie.

– I love being surrounded by beauty. I try to keep everything around me as stylish as possible, from pencil to architecture. Of course my clothes play a very important role in that concept. I expect my family to be dressed nicely, too, simply because I have to look at them.

– Art: I studied literature and was surrounded by students who considered it fancy when they had clean clothes on (they literally turned their pullovers inside out when there was a spot on it…). I don´t get it: how can you professionally deal with aesthetics and don´t give a damn about your looks?
And that takes me to the most important point:

– RESPECT!!! Looking fab means paying respect to others. At my breakfast table, at work, in the streets, everywhere. We dress up for special occasions, so we can dress in a nice way for the people we meet every day. That´s what i expect from others, that´s what I do.
(And, of course, it´s so much fun!!!!)

December 14, 2009 at 9:28 am

marianna

Veteran

The way I look is directly related to my happiness. It sounds shallow, but when I look frumpy, I feel frumpy and unhappy. When I know I look fab, I *feel* fab and my attitude is so much more positive and I am happier. Generally if I’m dressed in something that I don’t feel good in, I have a bad day.

I’m not an artistic person, but I love clothing and I love admiring how people dress. I like pretty things!

December 14, 2009 at 9:49 am

Cricket

You put so much thought into these, I can hardly think of any other reasons to want to dress well. The reward for the effort is well worth it. Its very much in us to enjoy beauty in nature, in our homes, in our lives, in our dress.

December 14, 2009 at 9:52 am

Rhonda

I ditto all your reasons, except the last one. I love my home, yard, dinner table, car –everything– to look beautiful! I spend a lot of time making it happen, but I think my family and friends appreciate it, even expect it from me. (No pressure! Haha!)

December 14, 2009 at 9:53 am

Ele

(website)

Active Member

What a great question! Seems simple but is actually quite deep. While most of your points resonate with me, it’s the first one- just caring about aesthetics in general- that matters the most. I’ve always been a visual person, and how something looks is important to me, whether that something is an outfit I wear, a room in my flat, a book I buy or the food I make and photograph.

This question reminds me of my interview for design school. I had a great time with the professor- hit every “question” out of the park, she loved my portfolio, etc- and right at the end she asks “Why do you want to be a designer?” and I froze. It had never even occurred to me to ask myself WHY- being creative and loving clothes was just a part of me, it always had been. I scrambled for a “textbook” answer and likely sounded like an idiot. Thankfully, I still got in

December 14, 2009 at 10:00 am

Marlene

For me, how I dress is an expression of myself and my personality. I feel best when I am wearing an outfit that fits my personality and can tell others about myself without saying anything. I often feel at my worst about my appearance when I am wearing something that is in disconnect with my personality.

I found YLF at a period when I was going through a stage where I was having challenges putting together outfits that expressed myself and discovered that I was having challenges because I was struggling with what I even wanted to express about myself. My style journey has actually been a deeper philosophical journey than I ever expected.

December 14, 2009 at 10:02 am

journey

the visual yes. but also the feel. the feel of a lovely material against your skin. the feel of solidly made quality boots cradling your feet. satiny, silky, soft, caressable, they’re some of the things that make clothing so vital to life.

December 14, 2009 at 10:02 am

greenglove

(website)

Veteran

I feel exactly the same way that you do and it flows into every part of my life. As a visual artist it is also how I am wired. I care about the wine bottle label coordinating with my home at a party and will not buy paper towels unless they are completely solid white. It sounds crazy but those pink and blue flowers drive me crazy!!

December 14, 2009 at 10:05 am

Sally McGraw

(website)

Active Member

FOR SURE! I think you’ve hit all of my major reasons for dressing well and learning to flatter my figure. The look good/feel good connection is definitely my primary motivation.

December 14, 2009 at 10:05 am

rute

Veteran

The way we present (the outfit, the hair, make-up, etc.) communicate to others who you are.
The first impression is determinant professionally, among co-workers, clients, etc., but also in our private life, it’s so important, the way you dress tells a story to other and somethimes speaks louder than our words.
Also because when we feel good with ouselves we feel confident (others notice that too) and we feel much happier.

December 14, 2009 at 10:06 am

Violet

I agree with what you have posted, Angie. For me, the main reason is that when I look good, I feel good. Even if I’m having a rough day, feeling pulled together and polished definitely helps put me in a more positive frame of mind.

I also like to make a postiive impression on people in both work and social situations. Finally, I think fashion is fun too! I enjoy shopping and trying out new clothes and putting together outfits.

December 14, 2009 at 10:19 am

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Hah! Jean, the pink and blue flowers on paper towel drive me batty too.

MPJ and Phoebe, I like how you brought up the notion of “respect”. Being well turned out is something my late Mum ingrained in me at an early age. Looking too casual was a big problem in her eyes. She used to say it was disrespectful to others to be poorly turned out at any time. It’s an old fashioned way of thinking, but I guess there are parts of me that are still very much old fashioned because I totally get my Mum’s point.

Lots of look good/feel good motivation here. Lots of dressing well for first impression judgments too. It all makes sense.

December 14, 2009 at 10:37 am

Lula

One of the reasons I like to look fab is because I have the freedom to do so. This isn’t a cultural distinction, but rather a function of living in a big city and having a job with a flexible dress code. For the first time in my life (which hasn’t been that long), I feel free to wear what I want and make my own rules. Plus, there is always someone who is more outrageous than me (like a 7 ft man in a huge top hat, with his cat on top of the hat, wearing a trench coat walking down 10th Ave.), so I never can go too wrong.
I also like to look fab it’s fun, it makes me feel good, and it gives me stuff to talk about with other women, like my coworkers. Basically, I don’t like to go out to bars and fancy places or watch girly films, but I feel like we all have our love of style in common.

December 14, 2009 at 10:45 am

Meredith2

Yes, Angie, I agree with everything you said!. #1 for me is also about fashion being an aesthetic. Even if I don’t always hit the mark or have the money to spend, I LOVE looking at and owning beautiful things. Antoher example for me is china patterns – after deliberating meticulously over our wedding registry items 15+ years ago, I swear I could work in a china/crystal shop. There are so many beautiful patterns and objects of beauty.

No, it’s not saving the world, but fashion is art and art feeds the soul. And ditto to all the other reasons and comments on this post so far!

December 14, 2009 at 11:04 am

Kristine

Veteran

For me, it’s primarily aesthetic. I used to spend so much time on my house and garden, only to realize I wasn’t looking as nice! How many gardeners do you know who are well turned out? A few, but many have grubby hands, saggy pants and messy hair. I realized that how I looked was just as important, more important, than how my garden looked.

I also see the difference it makes in the way other people treat me. People are nicer to you when you’re dressed well! When I’m feeling confident I can make more eye contact, be courageous, not feel intimidated.

I see style and beauty as a luxury that I’m fortunate to enjoy. I used to feel that it was shallow to care about the color of my sweater when so many people don’t own a sweater. I’ve realized that caring about style doesn’t take away from anyone else’s happiness, it may even add to it in a small way. It doesn’t have to get in the way of helping others, in fact it makes me a more powerful advocate.

December 14, 2009 at 11:18 am

Kristine

Veteran

For the record, I only buy white paper towels also!

December 14, 2009 at 11:19 am

Laura

Dressing well is an act of creativity — and considering how casual our culture has become, almost an act of rebellion against society.

I say, thank goodness for artists and the beauty they create. Writers, painters, architects, graphic designers, fashion designers, stylists … how dreary our world would be without them!

December 14, 2009 at 11:20 am

klauren

Active Member

I’m with you! I also believe and have experienced, dressing well and appropriately gives you the respect Phoebe talks about – respect for others and the respect of yourself. Even if I’m not “feeling” it – dressing well, by the end of the day, seems to make me feel at least a little pick-me-up and usually fools others into thinking I know what I’m doing! Seriously, I usually feel better about myself and others seem to treat me differently (better) when I’m dressed well.
And like you said, Angie, I do care what others think of me, not like I’m worrying constantly about it, but I do want to make the best impression that I can, and also be perceived well – it takes only takes a few seconds for that 1st impression, and it seems it takes a long time to dispel a bad one.

December 14, 2009 at 11:21 am

malcontent

Many of your reasons resonate with me. Foremost, when I look good, I feel good and have more confidence to face the day. As well, I am old-fashioned enough to believe that deliberately looking sloppy is disrespectful. And, as you stated, I enjoy compliments and feeling as though I’ve managed to turn myself out in an aesthetically pleasing way.

December 14, 2009 at 11:22 am

SusanH

I agree with everyone above who says that it’s about respect. Of course, respect for myself and others isn’t the only reason why I pay attention to what I wear, but it’s a big one.

This is an interesting point to me because I find that I have a hard time explaining it to people. Some of my friends simply don’t think that it’s in any way disrespectful to appear sloppy in public (unless you’re at a wedding or a funeral or something like that). “How does what someone else is wearing affect me?” they ask. And I don’t know how to answer. I guess either you feel it or you don’t…

December 14, 2009 at 11:28 am

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Angie, what a great thought provoking topic!

I wish for my personality to be expressed through my clothes and grooming. We do live in a visual world where people make judgements based on our appearance within 30 seconds of meeting us for the first time.

If I had dirty hair whilst out with the children there would be assumptions made about my parenting. If I wore a short skirt to the office there would be assumptions made about my professionalism.

It may be shallow but I wish to project the qualities of my character which I consider important.

December 14, 2009 at 11:39 am

Georgia

Active Member

As a stay at home mom of two young boys, getting dressed and doing my hair is my “me” time. I may not even leave the house, but I feel put together and in control if I’ve taken care of myself. If I feel like I look good, I really feel better about myself and am even more productive. Getting dressed and styling my hair is sometimes the only time I have just for myself and it’s nice to pamper myself, even if it’s something as small as putting on a pair of great fitting jeans or feeling like I’m having a good hair day. As one of my friends says, “A happy mommy is a good mommy”.

December 14, 2009 at 12:09 pm

san

This is my favorite YLF Blog topic ever, and I love everyone of the answers.
I love style and I have always loved it for as long as I can remember. As a teenager I found a book in the school library on the history of clothing or style. I cannot remember the name of it but I found it fascinating.
I love home decor, design, architecture, color, style, food style, the list goes on. I’m not saying I am talented in all of these respects, but I am interested and when I think about it I know that I spend most of my time studying these things. I have been known to say about myself, “I’m so materialistic!” I like all of the reasonings above better.

December 14, 2009 at 12:16 pm

Kyrania

Active Member

I know I rarely post but I DO read your blog EVERY chance I get. This topic grabbed me though…

I am a professional artist/illustator so the aesthetic is SO part of me…INSIDE and out.

Art Form is FOR SURE..to me it also reflects the inner, the Spirit revealing itself on another unique level.

Fashion IS SOO FUN! I create my own Childrens Book, Manga and Comic Book characters…designing their clothing and style to VISUALLY express their personalities. FUN! FUN! FUN!

For others…yea! I LOVE hearing people describe my appearance as exotic, unique, ethereal and beautiful.

BUT…when I look good I feel good hits the core!
Being a type one diabetic (illness) i NEVER wanted people to perceive me as sick, I mean diabetes does NOT have to dress itself in the illusion of sickness! When my kidneys failed I ALWAYS went to dialysis dressed up creatively, makeup included. I felt ALIVE and i KNOW my appearance had/has a lot to do with it. When I had the Kidney transplant (thanks to my loving husband) i was told that I should not be attatched to “Looking Good” because i would gain a lot of weight. This just catapulted me OUTSIDE of CONDITIONING! I dressed in clothing that was six sizes larger than I was USED to. I took it as a GREAT opportunity to move BEYOND the known into the unkown….shopping for a larger figure was quite challenging AND most definitely rewarding. EVERY size has its beauty! I still dressed in a unique way and found it EXHILIRATING and most refreshing to use fashion to express my NEW form.

I am now a U.S. size 6-8 and in constant flux….BUT feel great, ALWAYS great when i know that fashion and style can enhance a more positive IN look and OUT look during this lifetime….well, for me anyway! ^__^

December 14, 2009 at 12:28 pm

rae

I love all the comments! Especially the ones about Art. I think my clothes are my main medium for expressing my mood, personality, favorite music — even my preferred proportions, I guess. I like how my clothes can make me feel connected to different eras in time, social movements, cultures/subcultures, philosophies, etc.

December 14, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Taler

(website)

Angie: Your mother’s notion of respect in terms of dressing well might not be so old-fashioned. My mother take the same position, just a couple of years ago (i.e middle school), she would refuse to let me outside without looking presentable.

I’m 19 now and although it irked me at the time, I now appreciate her being so strict. Appearances to some extent matter but also if one feels confident in what they are wearing, it shows. That’s a great incentive to dress well-because it makes you feel fabolous.

December 14, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Mac

Veteran

oooh, I have lots that I want to write here but only have 2 minutes. One point I wanted to make is that other people tend to treat me differently when I look good/ pulled together. Now, when I lived in Paris, many people could be quite rude when I didn’t bother with my clothes/ looks and I have to say that made me feel like making LESS of an effort, since it their behaviour felt shallow and snobby to me. I firmly believe that even if someone is in an outfit that isn’t at all stylish, he or she deserves to be spoken to with kindness and respect.

However, back in North America, I’m almost always treated with politeness and common decency even if I’m in my gym clothes, running back from a workout; I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this! But, I definitely notice that when I look stylish and/ or polished, foks seem to take me more seriously. I don’t think it’s a conscious effort on others’ behalf, but I definitely notice it, and it makes me want to strive to do better.

I have lots of other reasons that I’ll write about later, but this is definitely one of them.

December 14, 2009 at 12:49 pm

PalmFronds

What a great thought provoking question. I have struggled with that this very weekend after I dressed in an “okay” sweater dress for a kid party and then racked my brain for two days afterwards wondering why it even bothers me so much that I wasn’t as put together as I wanted. No one complained,my husband thought I looked fine, so what’s the deal? And you have hit right on it–some of it is others’ perceptions, but a lot is my own barometer. Danja touched on this when she did her MOTG blog a few weeks back as she stated that she likes to be a bit more dressy than the usual version of “put together”. If I don’t feel put together, whatever that may be for the occasion, then my whole mood is bothered.

I think it stems from my mother as well who always put thought into her presentation, clothing, grooming and carriage, no matter where she was going. Not in a fussy way, but a thoughtful way. She too read that as respect for herself and others around her. And while I am not always swayed by what others think, I do care how they perceive me especially because I am a mother, a wife and a professional, three roles that can really take a thrashing if presentation isn’t within some realm of “acceptable.” But who wants to just be “acceptable” when they can be “fab!?”
And at the end of it all, I just love clothes and fashion, always have

December 14, 2009 at 12:51 pm

taylor

Ditto to everything you said…even the last one:)

Beauty and fashion are an extension of ones creativity…I guess the more creative ones personality is the more it affects all aspects of your life…

December 14, 2009 at 12:55 pm

Cecilia

Angie, the thing that attracted me to reading your blog is that your posts show that “throwing” an outfit together takes as long as as “pulling” an outfit together, but the latter does wonders for yourself, inside and out. That’s my main motivation for dressing myself up. I was tired of felling frumpy. The only annoying thing is when I come across people, mainly in my SAHM circle, who feel compelled to criticize any minor changes that I have managed to accomplish. Putting on an extra accessory makes me “all dolled up” all of the sudden…

December 14, 2009 at 1:24 pm

Secondhand Shopaholic

(website)

Thank you, Angie, and everyone else who has commented for saying it’s OK to want to look good without being accused of being narcissistic and self-centered.

I agree totally with “When I look good, I feel good” to the point of I used to have a job where there was no dress code. Everyone wore shorts, sweat pants, wrinkled clothes, etc. and there was me, showing up in my skirts and jackets, ready to tackle the day.

I didn’t have meetings to attend, nor did I leave the office for lunch. Pure and simple, I felt more productive and more serious about my work when I dressed the part.

So thanks again for acknowledging that looking good is not covering up insecurities or trying to impress people. For me, sometimes emotional well-being has to start from the outside – in.

December 14, 2009 at 1:55 pm

PalmFronds

Oh my goodness, SS, thanks for putting it so well when you said sometimes “emotional well being comes from the outside-in” and without involvement f insecurities etc. I totally agree and it has been interesting coming to terms with that because the vast majority of folks I meet do assume if you take time to CARE about your presentation beyond a cursory glance, then you must be TRYING too hard etc. Good to see I am not the only one for whom it is a natural extension of myself and not a fancy put-on to cover something up

December 14, 2009 at 2:11 pm

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Many of Angie’s reasons for valuing style make my list too, but for me there’s a different factor at play. As a blind person, one of my primary goals is to be able to function in the sighted world and interact with my peers without feeling at a disadvantage. My clothes are a crucial way in which I help to define that interaction. For me it’s not enough to simply have clothes that don’t clash and aren’t marred with stains. If I want to be accepted in the sighted world, I better dress the part. To that end, I feel it’s important to wear clothes that are current, suitable for my body and appropriate to the occasion in question. It shows my understanding of the sphere in which I’ve chosen to operate and hopefully helps to prove that I belong there. Obviously there are other factors that need to be considered in this question, but appearance is really key. Some blind people I know think I’m absurd and superficial to pay such attention to my clothes, but I don’t care. I readily admit that I’m trying to break away from a stereotype and feel no shame about doing so.

The rest of my reasons are more universal; I feel better about myself when I’m polished, I like to show respect by dressing well, a versatile wardrobe that can be adapted to any occasion boosts my confidence in the various settings I encounter during my day, and I just love clothes!

December 14, 2009 at 2:20 pm

shiny

Veteran

What a great thread! I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s comments. I agree so much with Journey: for me it is more about the feel of the clothes. And as Marianna says, when I feel frumpy it spoils my whole day.

Otherwise I have to dive deep into my past… some of my earliest childhood memories. I told my mom about YLF over thanksgiving, so if she’s reading this, she will be chuckling.

My mom used to make all my clothing. In Kindergarten, there was a pair of horrid olive green polyester pants. I hated these pants… including the feel of them (which is why I’m deeply averse to synthetics… and very surprised to be loving my ponte knit pants). One day, they split up the back, exposing my flowered undies to all the class. It was a mortifying experience that to this day, I still remember and shudder….

Flash forward to 6th grade. We wore light-wash bell bottoms in 6th grade. I had a bunch of them. When I was entering 7th, the fashion changed overnight, to straight leg dark wash jeans. My mom would not buy me any new jeans, because I had yet to outgrow the bell bottoms. I endured teasing at school (also because I wore Jox sneakers… oh, horrors)… until I took matters and the sewing machine into my own hands and made all my bells into straight legs. My mom was impressed with my initiative and finally bought me a pair of Levi’s… which I then proceeded to wear every single day…

Flash forward to my teen years. My boyfriend invited me out for New Years Eve. It was 21+. I wasn’t 21+ but his brother had some strings… I wore jeans to this event, and everyone else was all dressed up in fancy dresses… horrible!

So there you have it… I am afraid my need to look fab is deeply rooted in wanting to fit in, and avoid horrible embarrassment! Throw in a long history of never being able to find anything that fits me quite right… since I’m petite.

It’s about all the other stuff too… but deep down, that is the crux of it. I did try a long period of attempting not to care what I wore; beauty comes from within, and all that. That only worked so far. Learning to dress well has turned out to be a great form of therapy… it has also done wonders for my body image too, so I’ll add that reason.

December 14, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Sihaya

Veteran

What a great topic. It gave me much food for thought as I was running on the treadmill today! I am not a super visual person. So the main reason on your list that I like to look fab is that when I look good, I feel good. It’s sort of like an automatic switch that goes ON and shines brilliantly through the day. My second reason is that authenticity is a value that I hold very dear to me. That means, I want to look, speak, walk, write, work, love, foster relationships, all in accordance as much as possible with fundamentally who I am. With Angie’s help, I have really been able to express my personality with it’s unique idiosyncracies through how I dress and look. So it completes the picture.

December 14, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Marley

Agree with all of the above. Kyrania – your post is inspiring! Thank you!
I care about the way I look because it is an easy and non-threatening way to express who I am to other people. Perhaps I don’t always have the words to describe who I am or what I am thinking/feeling – but I can SHOW people by my appearance!

December 14, 2009 at 2:52 pm

cindykay

(website)

I want to look fab because I want to

~be ready for whatever the day throws at me (I’m a SAHM, but I never know when I’ll suddenly need to jump in the car and run an errand. Or have to open the door to a delivery person or someone stopping by. Or meet the neighbor at the mailbox.)

~have people respect me and think I look good.

~feel good about myself.

~be complimented by my husband!

I love everyone’s thoughts about being visual, and I agree, but I also have a high priority of comfort and practicality. So that’s my fashion goal right now: learning to create my own blend of fashionable and looking fabulous, while being comfortable, warm (speaking from a week of below freezing temps) and able to DO stuff (like wash dishes and bake bread and cook).

December 14, 2009 at 3:02 pm

cindykay

(website)

P.S. This is related also to the post you wrote about what kind of shoes we wear at home. I didn’t comment because I didn’t know how to explain why I wear “real” shoes around the house. But it’s because of the reasons I just listed about looking fab: I’m ready for anything; I’m looking good (because I’m DRESSED). Also, I’m still in the habit from when my children were small and used to step on my feet!

December 14, 2009 at 3:17 pm

sinead

Active Member

Angie, a wonderful, thought-provoking blog. I’ve had to really evolve since first joining YLF, from “I need to figure out what to buy” to “Wait- I need to figure out my style”. And I want to look better, more my style, out of respect for myself, not just those around me. I finally realized I wasn’t dressing well because I wasn’t valuing myself. Others needs had overwhelmed me and putting on a cute outfit (even when I had to practically force myself) was part of my journey to regaining my self-respect.

And I want to pay attention to aesthetics because that is a challenge for me- I am not the person who can easily decorate a room or turn out a beautifully wrapped gift. I so admire you and Jean and all the other visually gifted people on this site- but for me it is darned hard work and takes loads of trial and error before I hit the right note. And I’ve learned it is worth it, both in how I feel and how others treat me, to put in the effort.

December 14, 2009 at 3:24 pm

dynadhana

I wholeheartedly agree with all reasons above. Additionally I feel like when I dress well and look fab, I am showing respect for my own self and that bolsters my spirits. That in turn makes a world of difference in how other people perceive me.

December 14, 2009 at 3:52 pm

Melanie

Active Member

I love this blog Angie. It’s made me really think and so has reading everybody else’s reply. I am so happy to have joined a little online community where wanting to look fab is understood to be human and ok, not narcissistic and crazy.

I am a highly visual person who is much affected by the appearance of what’s around me but who still struggles badly with what looks good, on me, in my house, etc. I get the help I need here now and it really makes a difference to my life. I’ve realised that quite a number of my friends are style aesthetes too and I love to look at them too.

It took me years to realise that looking good takes time, money and flair for most ordinary mortals. I do it to feel happy and to make my loved ones happy. I love to see my family looking healthy and chic and, well, I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs (much) but I allow myself the pleasure of looking correctly dressed these days.

Thanks Angie.

December 14, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Kyle

Veteran

Angie has captured my thoughts perfectly. Although I understand it certainly is not true of all women, most of the women that I know feel this way. I can especially identify with the idea of fashion as fun. It’s also, for me, part of an ongoing challenge in that I am rarely satisfied with the status quo and always want to do better, feel better, look better, etc. (This is a double-edged sword, but that’s a different topic!). Great blog today.

December 14, 2009 at 4:42 pm

velvetychocolate

Veteran

What a great blog post – and I’ve really enjoyed reading everyone’s excellent comments. I hope I’m not too late to chime in.

I was just thinking about this the other day, and I’ve concluded that the reason I want to look ‘fab’ is because I have decided that I am just as important as everyone else in my life, and furthermore – it represents a decision on my part to be present. To ‘count’, in a way. Hard to explain, but when I gained a whole bunch of weight – I sort of disappeared. I got used to being ignored. I didn’t count, and I felt like a nobody.

Someone (secondhand shopaholic I think) said something about how emotional well-being can be from the outside in, and this really hit the nail on the head for me.

Meanwhile, deciding that I am going to learn how to dress well (and I’m a real newbie, not very good at this at all) is deciding that I am going to take up space.

This is a surprisingly emotional subject for me, and I’m only just grasping at it very recently. I hope people don’t think this is strange, but I was in tears in the dressing room at Macy’s the other day. Why? Because for the first time in a really long time, I felt like I mattered *to me*. After the weight gain, I stopped caring about myself. Even as I was losing the weight – I was still ignoring me, my likes and dislikes. Wearing nothing but the same Wal-Mart jeans and JC Penney golf shirts. I did this for years. I felt like I didn’t deserve to look nice, and it never occurred to me to ask myself what I liked.

I got very overweight, and I just sort of ‘went away’. I wanted to disappear.

I want to look fab because I am taking my life back. Not only am I not going to disappear after all, I am going to be present. You know how you can look at someone and get a feel for what kind of person they are – just from looking at them? That is (was?) *not* me at all. Plain, basic and as nondescript as possible.

I want to know what I like, and what kind of style I’ll end up developing. Truthfully, I don’t what to expect because I simply did not ask myself these kinds of things. I went very utilitarian after gaining weight. And I kept this up through my weight loss too.

I’m looking forward to this, but also nervous too. It almost feels a bit like unwrapping a present. I have no idea what’s in there, and I’m not sure what’s coming out of this box I’ve kept myself in

December 14, 2009 at 4:44 pm

Tanya

Veteran

My reasons are almost the same as yours Angie, other than the last one of course. I was also brought up that it is a matter for respect, first towards yourself, and then then towards everyone else too. And it is a fun thing to do that is very different from my daily job, which makes it very relaxing for me.

December 14, 2009 at 4:47 pm

The Budget Babe

(website)

you’ve nailed it. fashion is fun and a means of self expression!

December 14, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Cari

I am becoming interested in fashion because I have worked extremely hard over the past two years to lose over 80 pounds. Needless to say, I’m proud of myself and the clothes are getting cuter, but I’m also now having to learn how to dress my new figure.

I’m stepping out of my comfort zone of plain tops/pants and trying new things. Keep those tips coming!!!!

December 14, 2009 at 7:50 pm

JewelryGirl

Active Member

All of the above for me! But mostly, because it makes me feel good when I know I look good!

December 14, 2009 at 9:12 pm

Jenni

For all of your reasons (bread and butter reasons excepted), and also, it slows me down and makes me look around myself.

I rush through many things; thoughts, ideas, phone calls, life in general. The feel of a cashmere sleeve from a jumper I feel special in sliding down my arm on a frosty night helps focus me in the present and indulge in that present. It pulls me up short and makes the red wine taste better, the conversation sweeter and the washing up seem eons away!!!

December 14, 2009 at 9:17 pm

lori

Ditto! When i look good, i feel better. It’s just that simple! Thanks for the post today! It’s fab!

December 14, 2009 at 9:56 pm

Frances

Active Member

Angie, thanks for such a great post today–I’ve been looking forward all day to reading everyone’s responses once I finally had some time.

For me it’s all about energy. You know that drained feeling you get when you come home to a cluttered mess? And by way of contrast, the almost exuberant feeling you have when you come home to a clean and organized environment? There’s a great quote in Jayme Barrett’s “Feng Shui Your Life” that speaks to this: “Each time you enter a home or office, you make judgments instantaneously. People react the same towards you. You are in control of how people perceive you because you control how you care for yourself and your belongings. Set an impressive example of how you expect others to treat you by respecting yourself. A clean, orderly, and beautiful environment will establish a high standard.”

That’s the way I feel about my appearance. If I really try to pull myself and my attire together, I can walk out the door with a spring in my step, feeling confident that I’ve done my best to be presentable and that I can cast aside concerns about my appearance. I can get on with my day and focus on my work and interactions with others. But if I’m haphazard about how I put myself together, it weighs on me all day, affects my mood and drags down my energy level. It’s a distraction I don’t need.

I grew up watching a number of the women in my family let their appearance go due to a variety of unfortunate circumstances. And along with the appearance went the strength, autonomy, happiness and self-esteem. As a little girl in a very drab world without a lot of color, beauty, or excitement, watching the fictional Mary Richards drive to her new life in as an assistant producer in Minneapolis (wearing beautiful toggle coats and miniskirts, sweaters and heels) was just the medicine I needed! She may have been fictional, but the wardrobe imagery was powerful and stuck with me all my life. It may sound shallow to some people, but the joy of shopping for beautiful clothes and figuring out creative ways to style them has continued to see me through some of loneliest, bleakest, most devastating periods of my life. But I am happy to report that the ongoing quest to look fab has accentuated some of the happiest periods of my life as well.

December 14, 2009 at 10:15 pm

Mary

I am *not* a visual person, I’m a verbal one. I see and respond, deeply, to beauty around me, but creating it myself? I find it exhausting–there are too many choices, too many details to keep track of. It’s just not intuitive to me, which is why I find this site so helpful. It’s giving me analytical tools and a framework to work from in my ongoing style-revampment project. I’ve always been able to look at myself and see that things are all wrong with what I’m wearing; after spending time at YLF, I can start to figure out why it’s wrong, and whether I can fix it. (And also realize that the problem is not me! It’s just what I’m wearing!)

The reason I’m on a self-improvement kick in the first place was four years of pregnancy, nursing, and total absorption in small people, after which I found myself with like, 3 stained tshirts, some ill-fitting jeans and a reflection I didn’t recognize in the mirror. I got lost in my kids for a while and didn’t know who I was, and the way I looked showed it. I’m sure my husband is a little puzzled that I am spending so much time on my style these days, but there’s not much that I have that is all to myself! Lavishing a little love on me ain’t so bad, and treating my physical person with respect and attention helps remind me to treat the rest of myself that way too.

December 14, 2009 at 11:42 pm

nafisa

What a great question! And wonderful responses, most of them reasonate with me. My primary reasons for putting effort in my appearance is about appreciating aesthetics, self expression and having fun. I also realize that I am extremely fortunate to have the resources and opportunities in my life to focus energy on this pursuit, so why not!

December 15, 2009 at 12:39 am

Joy

Veteran

It was fun and inspiring to read all the responses. I’m in total agreement with my reasons for wanting to look fab, including sharing Shiny’s childhood fashion horrors, Cindykay’s wearing shoes at home and afrances’ idea of feeling energy in her day when she feels she looks good. YLF has been a hugely important tool and motivation in my fashion journey. Yesterday I got an unexpected compliment on how I looked from a fifth grader! Children notice too.

December 15, 2009 at 8:21 am

JennyK (NC)

Active Member

When I’m walking down the hallway at work, standing in line at the supermarket, or doing anything else, I’m not having one-on-one contact with the vast majority of people I encounter. I know that the way I present myself is the way I “speak” to most people.

I say lots of things with my appearance. – Sometimes I shout and say things I later regret.
– Sometimes I mumble and hope no one hears me.
– Sometimes I speak clearly and elegantly.
– Sometimes I speak very seductively.
– And sometimes I just shout, “Look at me! Look at me!”

I agree with the concept that Americans are far too casual, but I truly thought I was alone in that until I started reading this blog! I feel very annoyed when I go to a restaurant and see people in sweat pants and flip-flops. Until now, I couldn’t put my finger on why that bothered me, but you gave my feeling a name Angie: Respect.

As a P.S. – when I lived overseas it was obvious to everyone who in a nightclub, restaurant or even supermarket was an American. They, almost without fail, looked too casual and out of place. It was my mission never to be mistaken for an American by my appearance!

December 15, 2009 at 8:42 am

Style Eyes Fashion Blog

(website)

When I first read the title of the post. My response was that I have no idea. I spend so much time choosing clothes but I have no idea why. You have summed it up perfectly, these are the reasons why I want to look fab.

December 15, 2009 at 9:12 am

mari

Thank you YLF, for this great question, and for being a big motivation in my life.
I am a high school teacher and being well dressed gives me a big boost in selfconfidence. Every day hundreds of eyes are looking at me, and the better I feel the better I can act in front of them. And being well dressed is a big part of how I feel.
I am soon hitting my forties and somehow I feel, if I do not care for myself, I will become one of those “invisible, average middle aged women”.
A funny thing happened the other day. Some fifth grade students told me, they voted for me for the “Best dressed teacher in school”. And I work in a very big school, with a lot of young female teacher. This is a huge compliment. Well, as Joy already said it, children notice.
(And even my mother noticed a change. She used to criticize the way I dressed a lot. But some month ago, she started to take pictures of my outfits because, how did she put it, I would wear so many great clothes lately!)

December 15, 2009 at 8:05 pm

Kyrania

Active Member

velvetychocolate: “Wearing nothing but the same Wal-Mart jeans and JC Penney golf shirts. I did this for years. I felt like I didn’t deserve to look nice, and it never occurred to me to ask myself what I liked.”

i kinda felt the same way…hiding large form beneath LARGE loose and unflattering clothing. it took me time before i learned to ACCEPT my new self. it was just that i did NOT know that so many options, styles are available for BEAUTIFUL women with lush figures. it took time but i finally got it….

like i mentioned, i had to look IN before i could SEE out. like a Queen Alexandra’s Birdwing i emerged from my cocoon of dull, unimaginatve and frumpy clothing REALIZING my NATURAL beauty….the excitment in CREATING an EQUALLY beautiful wardrobe, my “New Wings”….OPULENCE that complimented BOTH inner and outer self!!

in my opinion ALL sizes ARE MAGNIFICENT! and ENHANCEMENT of that which is already there, of beauty through FASHION is an affirmation to the self…an affirmation of ACCEPTANCE, APRECIATION, APROVAL aaaaand LOVE of one’s true loveliness!

December 16, 2009 at 9:52 am

Darcy

(website)

My friend just sent me your article, and I’ve enjoyed it as well as all the comments. As an artist, I feel it’s my duty to bring beauty into the world. I enjoy clothes, and feel better about myself when I’m well dressed, or wear something unique. I feel like a lot of artists roam around in hand-me-downs, and ill-fitting clothes, or “statement” clothes, and I actually find it much nicer to wear something more conservative, nicely tailored, and well-fitting. I usually throw in one funky or unique accessory to add a touch of “artist”. I recently ran into an issue though. I enjoy wearing makeup and my boyfriend told me he hates it when I wear make up and I look prettier without. I feel like makeup is part of my self-expression and confidence, and at the same time, I want to be attractive to him. What’s a girl to do?!

December 16, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Mariyn

If you don’t care about yourself, why should anyone else.

December 16, 2009 at 2:07 pm

gina

(website)

I like fashion for most of the reasons you said. I also enjoy fashion as a way of expressing myself and drawing attention to myself. I am frequently complimented on my outfits or certain items I wear. I am a quiet, reserved individual, but I enjoy people. My clothing items and accessories give people a reason to approach and speak to me, which means I can enjoy interacting with people even while they are the ones doing the initial approaching. I’m working on becoming more outgoing and expressive, but in the meantime, anything I can do to open the door to others and then be receptive when they approach, the better that is for me too.

December 19, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Why you want to look fab (revisited)

(website)

[…] question I posed last week — “Why do you want to look fab?” — generated a lot of very interesting responses. Not surprisingly, many readers saw […]

December 24, 2009 at 9:22 am

Dillaner

I went through 15 years of hating my body. Now I want to look fab everyday to do justice to my once poor unappreciated self. I discovered your blog a couple of months ago and love it. Here are some other reasons why I NOW want to look fab.

1. This is a laid back culture, people don’t really dress up. The bad side is that we are an army of frumpy. The good side is that you aren’t judged or treated according to how great you look, and if you look fab here you REALLY POP because everyone else is so casual.

2. I was raised by loving parents who have a really warped attitude to others who dress up. My folks would mock people who dressed up to do day-to-day things like shopping. Wearing make-up? Shame! So i grew up thinking that to dress well meant that you were vain, superficial, unproductive and weren’t using your brain for important things like studying or working hard.

3. My teenage years were uncomfortable and traumatic for several reasons. One of the ways I hid from myself was wearing clothes that fit so badly they looked like harem pants and batwing blouses. This became a habit and it never occurred to me to change until a year ago when some new work friends asked me why i wore such clothes? I wasn’t overweight, why hide?

So I did an experiment: I started dressing differently, trying to compensate for my figure flaws and enhance what I had. So enjoyable!! I find the process of picking a combo quite scientific AND artistic in balancing assets and flaws, colour, pattern and style. It also taught me there’s no such thing as a perfect body, and that mine wasn’t the sack of flaws I once thought it to be.

May 29, 2010 at 6:51 am

When in doubt, listen to Aretha! « Eyeronic!

(website)

[…] and dozens of others were discussed in depth over on YouLookFab in a fascinating thread on why people want to look their best. One of the common themes emerging from that thread is one that resonated strongly with me, but […]

July 4, 2010 at 10:38 pm

Clem

Like most cliches it’s true – when you look good, you feel good. And it’s not about bagging compliments from the people around you. I firmly believe that when your hair has turned out perfect and your outfit is gorgeous you are perfectly aware of it. I feel more confident, happier, perkier. It’s also about showcasing your identity – and since human beings are egotistical little things we love telling the world who and what we’re about.

September 12, 2010 at 11:26 am

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