Shoe/dress dilemma - please help? ETA Possible dress option - YouLookFab Forum

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Shoe/dress dilemma - please help? ETA Possible dress option

Astrid

Veteran

Remember this post?http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....for-august

I just realised that I only have four weeks left to sort my outfit for this occasion. Then I'll be on holiday and I won't have much time left afterwards.

I thought to borrow my sister's dress, you can see it in #1 (that's my sister in the pic, but it should fit me too). But I don't have a pair of shoes to wear with the dress. And it's so sweet and pretty that I'm not sure new shoes that go with it would get much use afterwards. It's not really where I see my style going. I also have the problem that I a) wear only flats b) can't wear ballet flats and c) have wide feet. Difficult to find shoes...

I'm now thinking it might be easier to buy different shoes that will be used afterwards and then get a more modern (?) dress second hand on Ebay. Of course that might be rather difficult too, to find something in so little time. I also don't want to spend too much. I could see spending more on shoes that will really see some heavy use in the everyday wardrobe, but not for anything else.

Help?!

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65 replies

Latest reply was from Astrid

dakotacheryl

Veteran

I'm not going to be much help here Astrid...but that dress is really pretty. A pair of basic black flats would work here and could easily fit into your wardrobe. I'm picturing something from Bjorn.

Something metallic would look great with this dress too, but would it work with the rest of your wardrobe?

Astrid

Veteran

Thanks Cheryl! I did look for pewter or metallic flats, but I didn't find anything so far where I liked the style both for the dress and for afterwards. Problem is also the leather/material - I think there's something smooth/shiny/glitzy needed or if won't look good with the chiffon. This is really an cocktail type of dress.

Jeweled

Veteran

What a neat event to go to, Astrid!

This looks like a perfect dress for the occasion. What about a pretty pair of strappy black sandals? For an August occasion, even a super-dressy one, I think that would work well. Try shiny patent leather.

Think of a flat version of the strappy black high-heeled sandals many ladies wear to formal events. You'd be wearing the same thing, minus the heels.

And after the formal event, I think those strappy flat black sandals would be a good versatile shoe style for other outfits as well.

Astrid

Veteran

Thanks Jeweled! Do you think of normal open sandals? I thought something closed would be better, since it's in the evening and inside. But I have no clue about evening looks, so... I guess it would be warm enough for sandals, although that would mean no hose.

Diana

Veteran

Here's a snap of two shoes I own that would work, I think. They are both old so not available but maybe you can get some ideas. The black is patent and pretty flat (<1") and the gold is soft leather with w 1" wedge. Both are comfy enough for me to do my normal work commute (1 mile walk + bus each way).

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Jeweled

Veteran

I just did a couple of google image searches for "dressy flat sandals" and "dressy flat shoes". I was pleasantly surprised at what a major footwear category this is. You might get some good ideas for how to style them (as far as hose, etc.) by looking through image searches (google or pinterest) for those phrases.

Also, another idea: I think I recall that you sometimes get great pieces for your wardrobe from thrift shops? If so, what about finding a great pair of flat shoes there - and if they aren't black, you could spray-paint them a shiny black? (Faux patent leather.)

Elizabeth P

Veteran

I think "investing" in a pair of dressy shoes is worthwhile, if you can find something timeless and classic. You'll won't wear them a lot, but when you need them, you need them. This type of situation will arise again, I can assure you.

On the other hand, you could do the complete opposite, and try to find a pair of cheap shoes, that you have no intention of worrying about ever wearing again. I'm amazed at what is out there. I got a pair of summer sandals for my DD (ladies sizes) for an event, for about $10. She's not one to dress up, so I didn't want to spend much on something that may only be worn for a few hours. And they look fine! I actually saw the same pair on one of the mothers Check out local accessory stores, grocery stores, that kind of thing.

Astrid

Veteran

Thanks Diana!

Jeweled, thanks! I'll have a look at Pinterest to get some ideas. You're right that I've been buying second hand a lot lately, but only on Ebay. There isn't really anything in thrift stores here that I like. I could buy shoes on Ebay if it's one of the brands known to me and they're not too expensive.

Thanks Elizabeth! I agree, a pair of dressy shoes would be good to have. I haven't seen anything so far that really grabbed me though. Ideally some metallic would be nice, pewter or so. That would go with everything in the future. Cheap shoes are an option for some I guess, but in my experience cheap shoes just don't fit my feet very often. They're too narrow most of the time.

Jeweled

Veteran

I'll look forward to seeing your outfit from the big evening, Astrid!

Astrid

Veteran

What about these? Mixed reviews and Clarks normally don't seem to be made for my feet, but for the price it might be worth a try.

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Astrid

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Or these here. Although the style might drive me crazy? Not sure.

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Astrid

Veteran

By the way, the longer I keep the looking the more I think I might be better off with a different dress after all, if I can find something suitable. I just think I would feel too "teenie going to the dance prom" wearing the dress above, which is exactly what my sister bought it for... Know what I mean?

L'Abeille

Veteran

Astrid, I am picturing you in a flat heel or low wedge with a high, thick ankle strap, like they wore in the 40's. Or even a series of straps, like the Trippen Army. Something that is ladylike but also a bit funky, thus outside the trendiness timeline and should have longevity for you. Something that looks grounded rather than too delicate, but can still skew a bit glam as well as suiting more casual looks.

I don't have a pic of the 40's style shoe, but I had saved the Trippen on my Pinterest. So I'm also tossing out some other pretty shoes from my Pinterest board, that might not be suitable at all but at least show alternatives to the "usual".

Sorry, names; 1 is the Trippen Army, 2 is called Sansa Ballerina, 3 is Billy Ella.

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Astrid

Veteran

L'Abeille, thanks! Yes, that's it - I want something that's grounded at the same time as dressy. And that's why I feel like I need to look for a different dress as well. I just can't see the dress above working with the kind of shoes I'm usually drawn to. I LOVE the third option you pictured, although pointy toes might be difficult for me.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

That is a beautiful dress! I don't think it will look like a prom dress -- it's more youthful cocktail to me, or maybe wedding guest....

I am not sure about shoes, but do Eccos fit your feet? I am with Elizabeth in thinking that investing in a pair of pretty dressier shoes is a good idea -- you will not wear often but it's so helpful to have them available.

I know it is tricky to get flats without straps to stay on...but you might get lucky. (The single pair of pumps I own that do stay on my foot are by Ecco. Not all their open vamp styles work, but a few do.)

http://ca.shop.ecco.com/akita-.....id=women-d...

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L'Abeille

Veteran

OK I have looked up some of the 40's style I was talking about. This style made a vivid impression on me because back in the 70s, when I was fascinated by fashion and design, the only relevant book in our public library was written by Edith Head, and all the illustrations showed this type of shoe. I was intrigued by the style, which (for a girl self-conscious about her height) gives the look of a heeled shoe with the high-vamped strap; however, by lengthening the foot at the expense of the leg.

Now that high-vamped straps are in again, you might find something like this in the shops. The 2 red shoes are from Re-mix, a vintage-style company, and the pink ones are Modcloth. The street scene is from Life magazine.

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L'Abeille

Veteran

The lacing on the Billy Ella shoe is the traditional ghillie lacing of highland dancing slippers, worn by men and later also by women, but with a rounded toe. That lacing style would be used in solidly soled shoes as well, but who knows where you would find them outside Scotland.

Astrid

Veteran

Thanks Suz - I saw these on the Ecco online shop with the new styles and really liked them, but I think they might be tricky. I had black Ecco ballet flats that I couldn't wear and I finally sold them a while ago. Another problem with Ecco is that I'm between sizes, so the 38 is always a bit too long. Makes it even harder to get the ballet flats to stay on my feet. A size 37 is definitely too small though.

L'Abeille, thanks for the visuals! That's the only way I can keep a shoe like that on my feet, with a strap. Although I think I prefer something crossing the feet or even a t-strap because it makes the feet look less wide. ETA That's really interesting about the Billy Ella!

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

I love that dress Astrid. I think you'll be gorgeous in it.

I read all above suggestions and have to say they're good. Also, it'll take more time and money to buy a new dress AND new shoes. Just concentrate on finding a pair of shoes with some detailing you like - say ankle strap, or buckle, or patent leather. It doesn't have to be black either, though I do love both of Diana's shoes.

As for whether open sandals work, why not?! Open sandals are perfectly acceptable with cocktail dresses as long as they look trendy, slightly dressy, and in-sync with your sense of style. Look around. 4 weeks is a long time to find 1 pair of shoes. Don't give up!

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Here are some images I like

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Astrid

Veteran

Thanks Maneera! I guess it sounds easy, but I have hard to fit feet. I actually do best in "comfort" brands because they have the necessary width for me, but of course most of them don't offer dressy modern shoes that would go with a dress like this. If I went with a dress that were less "cocktail" and more "dressy daytime" I would definitely have an easier time with shoes. And I don't want to spend money on umcomfortable shoes.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Hmm. I get your dilemma.

I think you should go with your gut on this. If you feel you won't find the kind of shoes you envision with this cocktail dress, you do know your feet and your shoe fitting challenges best and are making the right call.

If you think it'll give you more peace of mind and less of a headache to find a dress and shoes that'll be a better (and more used) addition to your wardrobe, do it!

Greyscale

Veteran

I think my feet are a similar shape to yours so I sympathize. Also, the ghillie shoe trend is charming to me because I do Irish dance, so I wear dance ghillies every week. I'm keeping an eye out for a nice pair of dressy shoes with that style just because it relates to my most important hobby!

I think you have a good idea about finding shoes that you love and would get a lot of use out of, then finding a dress that goes with them. I've had much better luck finding second-hand dresses than shoes, because so many people buy a dress for an event then sell or donate it after.

I should admit that I don't own a single pair of dressy shoes! A few pairs of nice, professional flats I can wear with a dress, and one pair of heels, but none are delicate in a way that would work with a dress like that. Somehow I've survived many years like this.

Astrid

Veteran

Maneera, yes. I think I'll keep both variations in mind for now.

Greyscale, you understand me perfectly! I need more shoes for everyday dressing anyway, so in a way it makes more sense to buy shoes I can wear on normal days too. And I agree about the dresses, there are so many options going around. And not too expensive either, you can find great stuff for 30-50€. I never had dressy shoes either. For years I would wear the dancing shoes you can see in the first picture for such occasions, but they are too small now. Then I had several pairs of ballet flats over the years, bought for funerals etc. Otherwise I always just wore my oxfords with a dress.

approprio

(website)

Veteran

I'm going to propose a casually dressy solution to your dilemma.

I'm looking at the lovely skirt you showed us here:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....e-wardrobe
...and thinking you could lace your taupe oxfords with satin ribbon to dress them up a bit for the occasion. Then purchase a silk tee, which could be a more versatile addition to your wardrobe than a pair of dressy shoes you'd never wear.

Astrid

Veteran

Approprio, great idea!!! Only problem is that the skirt can't be worn with a tucked in top - the combination of wide waistband and gathers makes for a very unflattering silhouette, unfortunately. So it would have to be an untucked top that goes over it. Something with a banded hem? Maybe something with a bit of a 20s vibe? I'll try to take some pictures to illustrate the isse. But I love the idea of it. That is such a practical approach.

Astrid

Veteran

Okay I took some quick pics. Ignore the tired look and bad hair, I'm getting a cut on Monday. With a tucked in top that skirt makes me look like I'm permantently sticking my bum out, which you know - I'm not.

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Gaylene

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If I recall the dinner part correctly, it was a rather upscale posh event? If so, what could you see yourself wearing that would be your more style than a black chiffon cocktail dress? If you have some specific ideas about what could be YOUR formal, dressed up look, then it might make sense to see what you could hunt down in the next few weeks. On the other hand, if you can't figure it out, it's rather hard to find something when you don't know what you are looking for... In that case, I'd wear the borrowed dress for this one occasion since it won't cost you anything and concentrate on finding a pair of dressy shoes that you can use as the starting point of a dressy capsule.

Trying to find a hybrid day/dressy evening shoe is tricky business even if you have an easy-to-fit foot. It might be more realistic to think about what shoe would go into an Astrid dressy capsule and use that as your starting point. That way, even if the shoe isn't a perfect match with the borrowed dress, it will still be a worthwhile building block in your wardrobe. And you'll look presentable for this year's event.

Astrid

Veteran

Gaylene, yes - it was rather posh. My friend actually wore a long evening dress and I didn't look out of place in my maxi skirt two years ago. So you're right that the first dress would probably mesh well with the things other people are wearing. It's actually not black, it's navy. It's from a big departement store, one of their evening brands. You can see their dresses here. I guess that's why my associations with this dress are ambiguous, it's just like every other dress every girl buys for prom/dance course/graduation etc. So it's pretty but to me it just doesn't feel special. I felt rather good in my custom made combination of skirt and top last time, actually. Because to me it meant I didn't just wear one of those dresses. For me it's mostly the fabrics I guess, this typical satin/chiffon/mesh stuff. You're right that starting a dressy capsule in general might be a good idea. I guess it wouldn't be a bad idea to start with some shoes, as long as I make sure they're comfortable.

ETA And no, I've never thought about what I would want my dressy capsule to look like. But I guess made up of things I always like. Silk, velvet, velours leather? Simple but with some interesting detail? Embroidery or drape or something like that?

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