People keeps telling me what to wear and what to buy

Since I earn money and I spend a lot on clothes before (Lately no), my friend and my cousin give me a lecture about what I should buy and all.

My cousin would always try to tell me to stop buying the same thing such as black shoes and I should try other colors. She would tell me how she would spend it if she has my money. Last year and this year, she will buy me a top or something, I like them but it does not give her any credibility that she should dictate what I should buy and all. Beside, she does not have any credibility herself as to how she dress, she looks practically the same since elementary grade and she recently is undergoing a dramatic change which I personally think she will be buy her new look with her boyfriend and parents money.I may not be right but seeing she does not work and goes out a lot with her boyfriend who has a race car and tons of money to spend on her.

A few hours ago, I was talking about how I want to renew my wardrobe and how much my savings have drop because I've been spending a lot on clothes.

Our conversation is like this:

Cousin: Ooooh you should try something new you know. Like don't be afraid to try a new look from times to times.

Me: Yeah I know, I want to make sure it gets as much wear as possible and that is something I am comfortable in.

Cousin: Okay let me give you an example. Would you like your husband to look the same like same face, same hair and same style? No? You'll grow tired of it right? Then you should try something new?

Me: Okay... (What kind of example is that?) I did try something new...

Cousin: Euh...

Me: Yeah, my style may seem the same but I did upgrade it to make it look more modern.

Cousin: Yeah~

Me: The thing that I changed often is my hairstyle. How bout you? You've been sporting the same hairstyle for I don't know how long.

Cousin: Euuuuuh... Yeah I will sport a new look! I'm going to do... (I just cut her off because she already told me what she is going to do)

Me: Yeah I don't want try everything since I know what look I want. I am just going to incorporate new things little by little with my style. I also want to travel more in the future so I can't afford to always try new things. (I blab on and on)

Cousin: Don't care about your wardrobe! Don't care about your wardrobe! Don't care about your wardrobe! (She tries to cut me off with my blabbling)

Anyways, this is how the conversation actually goes. I think she thought I will buy the same thing over and over again and never try a new look. Okay, I personally think she does not know what I meant so I forgive her. The thing is, I barely see her. Whenever I do, I always dress very simple. The times I see her is almost once per month or once per two months. I really hate it whenever she tries to talk to me about fashion like she knows a thing or two and her advices does not make sense. Once she tells me that if I buy something that don't match with anything, that is okay, because I will find something that will match in the future. I told her: Yeah it may works in some occasion but not on all your mismatch clothes. I don't want to wait 2 - 3 years to find something that goes well together. She still thinks her advice is really good.

I used to buy random things because I didn't know what I want. After finding this site and other fashion sites, my ideas become more clear. I am currently on a shopping ban because I'm trying to figure out what I am going to buy next by looking at my wardrobe. I clean out my clothes and donate 1/2 of it to my friend who almost took everything I gave her. I grew tired of looking through my closet to find a new outfit. The last two semesters in College, I've been playing with my clothes by mix and matching them in creative ways. My cousin does not go to the same school as me so she barely sees me try "something new". Since I've written down what I want a few months ago here, now I am currently saving my money, finding what I can do with my wardrobe and what I need.

A friend of mine used to push me to buy this or that and she would pursuade me to buy it. I stopped being friends with her for six months before I renew her friendship. The reason is because I felt like I lost my identity with her. She did help me on wanting to look nice. She stopped ever since.

Anyways, this is my rant. I want to know what you think of all this and did you guys have any similair experience?

By the way, my cousin is recently into clothes a few years back but her style personally was never amazing to make me believe she has the right to judge what I wear and what I buy.

16 years ago

Louise

Veteran

That's so annoying especially when the person giving the advice isn't stylish!
A woman at work (who's a pain in the bum anyway!) said to me the other day that skirt's a bit short (knee length YLF approved) so i turned to her and said knee length is the most flattering length (she was wearing a terribly unflattering mid calf length bias cut effort!)

Stick to your guns and wear what flatters you and you feel comfy in but don't forget to occassionally step outside your box you may find a new fav outfit ((hugs)) x

April

GXT, here are some threads of previous conversatons about the difficulties of dealing with other people's reactions to our own style choices:

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....nt-outfits

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....compliment

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....an-culture

In general, I think people do things like this because they are insecure and easily threatened; somehow reducing you makes them feel better about themselves. Don't get pulled into it. Words to live by from the brilliant singer-songwriter Ani DiFranco:

I'll never try to give my life meaning
By demeaning you...

Anonymous

I agree with what is said above.
You look fabulous and your cousin is trying to steal some of your thunder. Just keep doing what you are doing and understand that she feels intimidated which comes from feeling insecure.

Vani

People, especially those close to you, will always have something to say about your style. Especially when you're talking about clothes and shopping. For example, my sister-in-law and aunt, who I go out shopping with frequently, just cannot wrap their mind around leggings or jeans under dresses. And they frequently pressure me to buy something that is "SO cute" (and sometimes 2 sizes too small) but totally unflattering on me. I just firmly say no and turn the topic to their purchases. We have completely different styles and ideas of what is flattering or not. I just go along, and almost always end up not buying anything for myself. It annoys and sometimes offends my aunt (she insists on being the one buying for me when she's around) , but hey, it is money saved and not stored in the back of my closet.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, simply ignore and be firm. You have great style and only you know best how you want it to evolve.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

*chuckle* Loulou.

GXT, you have great style and you do enough experimentation which is especially fun at your age. As a professional, I can sincerely say that your style is NOT boring and that you mix it up. Keep up the good fashion eye and let’s see more of your funky looks!

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