The huarache post last week sparked off a few thought-provoking comments:

Starry: “I find I am drawn to so many different styles, partly from being exposed to persuasive styling in magazines/stores, or admiring how something looks on another person… and I don’t always have the clearest picture of what is ‘me’ and what isn’t. I suspect having that kind of clarity makes a person much better at shopping and building a good, functional wardrobe.”

Budget Babe: “Starry makes a good point. I often struggle with passing up those trends that truly aren’t “me”, i.e. I might go ga-ga for something on the rack, but then it’ll end up sitting in my closet because it doesn’t work with my personal style. I was loving the huarache trend until I actually tried them on and it just felt way too “boho”… maybe the heels you showed above would work, but the flats, nope.”

I know that I am very open to wearing new trends and am constantly trying them out, but I also have a strong sense of my own aesthetic preferences. For example, because my individual style is modern, retro, trendy, professional, fun, modest and practical, I’m automatically attracted to items that are in line with those descriptors. On the flip side, I’m less attracted to items that are overly casual and sporty, eclectic, earthy, bohemian or too revealing. But then again, it doesn’t mean that I don’t adore those types of styles on others. Instinctively I just know that they are not for me.

I occasionally force myself to step outside of my comfort zone, but it is hard to trust your own judgment in these situations. How can you tell whether it’s a question of getting used to a new trend, or whether it just doesn’t work with your personal style? What does it mean for something to be “you”? Sometimes you will love a style on other people, be confident that you can pull it off, but still feel that it isn’t “you”. How can you tell whether your individual style will adapt and incorporate the new look over time?

This is an area where I can really help my clients. They need an objective opinion that they can trust in order to get past their comfort zone and extend it into new territory. This objective opinion could also come from your friends and family (including your friends and family on the YLF forum), or even from complete strangers – sometimes the best thing is to wear a new look and see the response that you get from other people. Often my opinion is enough to get my clients to wear something new, but it is only when they get lots of spontaneous positive feedback that they really open up to the new style.

Do you have a clear picture of what style is “you” and what isn’t? If so, how did you arrive at these conclusions? How do you test the boundaries of your comfort zone?

Ray-Bans were the sunglasses brand two to three decades ago with their Aviator and Wayfarer designs (remember Tom Cruise in “Risky Business”?). They never really went completely out of style, but their designs lost market share to the oversized, oval wrap frame. The style took off as a fashion statement and even today virtually all celebrities sport a pair of gigantic oval sunglasses. Ray-Ban introduced its own range of oversized oval wrap frames to keep up with competitors, but the brand has also held onto the classic styles that originally launched it to fame.

I have never been a regular sunglasses wearer and I can’t really tell you why. I owned a pair of Ray-Ban Aviators 20 years ago, which I loved but barely wore. Ten years ago, I spent a fortune on a pair of black prescription sunglasses, and they too have hardly seen the light of day. Crazy.

But I admire lasses and blokes in fabulous sunglasses. It’s a killer accessory and a practical one too. In the spirit of fashion’s revival of 80’s looks and trends, the classic resin Ray-Ban Wayfarer has regained popularity. This particular pair of shades has really tickled my fancy so I’ve ordered a white pair and I can’t wait to try them on. Hopefully, the fun and nostalgia associated with wearing Ray-Bans again will make me actually wear them.

Note to self: stop squinting Angie and wear your new sunnies.

Today’s Ray-Ban Wayfarers. The design was originally brought to market in 1952 and it was popular for almost two decades. They returned in the 80’s and early 90’s, and are back again today.

I’d like to dedicate this post to all YLF fathers and in particular to my dearest Dad who happens to be visiting right now. Papa, as I call him, is 76 and manages to fly out to Seattle twice a year from his home in the Netherlands where he lives on his own. He doesn’t have computer access back home so he’s going to get a real kick out of seeing this post today.

Papa is the opposite of my Mum when it comes to style and fashion. He loathes shopping for clothes and shoes and considers it punishment when he has to update his wardrobe. (Being a little colour blind doesn’t help). But my Mum set a high style standard and would not tolerate sloppy dressing, so Papa relied heavily on her to ensure that he was well turned out at all times. When Mama was still alive, I remember Papa asking her the same question every morning as he stood in front of his closet: “Wat moet ik aantrekken?”, which translated from Dutch means “what should I wear?”.

These days Papa has to get it right on his own. With a little help from you know who, he’s managed extremely well over the last nine years and I’m proud that my Dad has not let himself go. As a tribute to his late wife and a sign of self respect, Papa is well groomed, well put together and stylish every day.

His day to day uniform consists of nice jeans, cords or wool pants with tucked-in button down shirt, cashmere pullover, belt and leather shoes. When it gets colder he adds a trench, leather jacket or wool coat with scarf, gloves, umbrella and tweed hat. When it’s hot, he substitutes the jeans for tailored bermuda shorts and slip-on mule sandals. Papa finishes off his look with great classic specs or hip sunglasses, along with his wedding ring and gold watch. He also keeps his hair and beard super short and his hands immaculately buffed. Brilliant.

Thank you Papa for paying attention to your wardrobe and daily dressing routine. You are proof that style is achievable at any age. Yvonne watches over you from her fluffy white cloud and totally approves of your dress sense. You look fab.

Over to you ladies. Let’s hear about your Dad’s style. Are you planning any style and fashion related gifts for Sunday?

(1) This picture was taken over three years ago when my best friend Lori and I went to visit my father in the Netherlands. He’s wearing his favourite suede jacket, navy scarf and gloves, giving us a heartfelt smile. (2) Papa with me and my brother Hugo in 1971. Nylon polo shirt, checked pants and of-that-fashion-moment specs. Fabulous. (3) My Mum used to say that it was Papa’s sports car that got her hooked. Here he is cruising along Hong Kong’s coastline after a hard day’s work in 1961. The top is down and the sassy sunglasses are out. Uber cool. Happy Father’s Day everyone!

You desperately want to renew your style. Ideally, you would purchase the best set of bras, and then cover each wardrobe category so that you have a range of complete, current and fabulous outfits to wear each day. But that’s not possible because you have budget constraints. Now what?

The answer is to take a gradual approach that respects your budget. To build your confidence and motivation, start by changing three things that will have a powerful visual effect: your hair, your shoes and your handbag.

1. Re-evaluate your hairstyle: It’s true: your hair can make or break your look. Kendall Farr’s suggestion of getting your hair style sorted BEFORE you assess your wardrobe is one I have begun to introduce to my clientele. Your hair is the first accessory to change when you’re stuck in a style rut because it creates a big impact. Take advantage of that power and get right to it.
2. Update your footwear: Shoes are usually expensive and hard to purchase when money is tight. But if you don’t have fussy feet, you can get perfectly fine footwear at places like Target, JC Penny, TJMaxx and Payless. If your feet require better-end shoes, scout the sales and check out bargain sites like smartbargains.com and 6pm.com. And don’t forget the option of thrift stores either. Purchase two versatile pairs of peds that you can wear right away.
3. Sport a fab handbag: You don’t need to spend hundreds of dollars on a handbag. H&M and discount stores offer super selections and you’re bound to find a bag you love for $25.

This is not a complete renewal, but by giving attention to these three areas of your style, you’ll look and feel better right away. A visual and motivating change that can tide you over.

The right bra is the next essential step, because you can’t judge fit unless your foundation garments are correct. Purchase one great bra if that’s all you can afford. If at all possible, get a professional fitting.

After that you can gradually add items as your budget permits. Identify the most important everyday clothing needs that you need to refresh. It might be a pair of jeans or slacks, or an assortment of tops and a jacket. Or perhaps a couple of easy frocks that you can dress up or down. Watch the sales for these items.

With your hairstyle, handbag and shoes in place it will be easier to have the patience to slowly and selectively build up the right wardrobe pieces. Before you know it, dressing each morning will be a pleasure, not a chore.