Does “flattering” mean tall, slim and hourglass? If you’re in the fashion industry then, yes, it does. This is why clothing ranges are showcased on tall, slim models or celebrities who have a defined waistline. An item is flattering when it moves you closer to this popular norm, what the industry calls the “ideal standard”.

The fact is that few people in the world are built like models. So what do fashion gurus and style experts say? They tell us to wear clothing and footwear that makes us look taller, slimmer and more hourglass-y despite our height and size.  Even when we’re nowhere near a size 4 and six foot tall, the aim is to get as close to the ideal standard as possible – because that’s “flattering”.

The question is: should you buy into this? My definitive answer: yes and no.

No, because you decide what flattering means to you. It is fun and rewarding to develop your own sense of style. Part of that is your own sense of what is and what isn’t flattering. Sally puts it well in her great post on figure flattery priorities. There is no one meaning for the word. Flattering to some is unflattering to others. And that’s fabulous news. Life would be very boring if we all liked the same thing.

Yes, because I don’t think we should completely abandon a shared notion of what is and what isn’t flattering. I don’t believe that everybody should have completely independent aspirations. The commonality we share is also important. After all, without it there would be no trends, and no fashion. Our style should set us apart, but fashion is what brings us together. And that is equally important. It adds a lot of fun to this shared experience that is fashion.

I see this commonality in my experience with friends and clients. Most women think it’s flattering to create an outfit with a longer leg line and a defined waist because it makes them feel feminine and eliminates the dumpy-stumpy factor. Fewer like to surrender their waistline or look short legged. This does support the more popular notion of what is flattering, but it doesn’t mean that you have to follow it religiously. You can pick the aspects of the popular norm that resonate with you and work with your body.

That brings me to what “flattering” means to you. Does it mean creating an hourglass silhouette. Wearing eye-catching clothing. Creating a longer leg line. Showing skin. Wearing colours that bring out the colour of your eyes, hair and complexion. Creating a defined waistline. Elongating your neck. Covering up lumps and bumps. Enhancing your bust line. Wearing well fitting clothing. Creating a balance between the top and bottom parts your the body.

Me? I enjoy seeing many of the above definitions of figure flattery reflected in an outfit, but not necessarily all at once. I am in the camp that likes to see a proportionally longer leg line on women in general. Hence my phobia about perfect pant lengths and leg shortening clothing styles. But that doesn’t mean that you have to be tall and wear heels (I’m Team Flats, remember). There are MANY ways to create a longer leg line and I spend lots of time talking about that on YLF. But I am also a big fan of surrendered waistlines which throws out the hourglass part of the general figure flattery approach – at least some of the time.

Your turn: what does “flattering” mean to you?

I wore a school uniform for 12 years, so back to school shopping meant getting another uniform if you had outgrown or outworn the one in your closet. But back to school time also meant having your hair done. So when I was in high school in the 80’s, loads of girls had their hair re-permed and peroxided just before school started. I wasn’t one of those gals, but I did get a fresh new crop a week before my peers and crushes would lay eyes on me again. I think I was never quite as vain as I was during my school days – uniform and all.

These days I run into Mums taking kids on shopping sprees during the back to school season and it’s fun to watch. Mums saying one thing and kids saying another. Kids desperately negotiating for an item and Mum saying they can have it if it comes out of their allowance. And that’s usually followed by a “But, Mooooooooommmmmm……”

I’ve asked this question before, but the topic intrigues me so I hope you’ll indulge me again. What did back to school shopping mean for your style? New clothes and shoes? A bonding opportunity with your parents? A different look? And as a parent, what does back to school shopping mean for your kids? Do you take them shopping? If so, where? And what do they want to wear?

Autumn’s ankle boots and booties have started to hit stores and there are several good looking and comfortable options on offer. The elusive one to two and half inch heel has re-surfaced, so start stocking up if this is your preferred heel height.

Here are my top picks so far. Most of the styles can fit orthotics and insoles. Don’t worry too much about heel slippage because it’s inevitable with these styles. Remember to click through to all the colour options if the ones displayed are not to your taste:

1. Blow Fish Hold True ($68.95): For the price, this bootie is a steal. The wedge heel is stable while the studs are fun. I preferred the edgy integrity of this style in black but if you’re an earthy gal, go for the chocolate instead. Runs small. I had to size up half a size with insoles and socks.
2. Nine West Cleeo ($108.95): A killer bootie and my favourite of the lot. Extremely soft leather, a cushioning footbed and just so, so refined and feminine. I could charge around town in these at the speed of light. If I didn’t have a similar pair in my closet, I’d be snapping up these babies in duplicates. The cream pictured below is more of a tan in real life. Runs true to size.
3. MIA Sergeant ($139.95): Very fabulous and the white colourway makes my heart sing. A very roomy toe box so a good option for wider feet. Rugged casual style at its best. Runs true to size.
4. Clarks Indigo Turkish Blend ($125): Simply divine and my second favourite on this list. LOVE the ruched front lace-up detailing, asymmetrical top and textured heels. Surprisingly, I like  the grey suede colourway best. They’re Clarks so comfort is almost guaranteed. Great support too. Runs true to size.
5. Clarks Indigo Nottinghill ($100): This is a bootie with both a  sporty and bohemian vibe. The black looks more urban, but the burgundy trim on the brown is interesting. Clarks comfort all the way. Runs true to size.
6. Madden Girl Singsing ($59.95): Fabulous price! These are my third favourite and you’d have never guessed that from its three inch heel and synthetic upper. Very comfy, quite roomy and soft all over. The turn back cuff can be turned up for a different look which is just as sweet. The dainty little buckles are adorable and the criss-cross strapping is unique. Loved it in grey. Runs true to size.

Please tell me you’re wearing booties or at least that you intend to try them this season because they instantly transform an outfit to “right now”. Also, no calf width challenges. Do any of these styles appeal to you? If so which ones.

We used to be in love. Madly in love. But the chemistry has faded. We haven’t parted ways completely, but we’re keeping things platonic and are just good friends. We meet a few times a month and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company in small doses.

So ruffles and I have ended our passionate love affair and we’re sticking with good clean fun.

It has been a year of complete and utter ruffle explosion here in the US. Ruffles are still on everything. The saturated retail market has my eyes wondering and flirting elsewhere. What’s your relationship like with ruffles? Are you romantically involved? Wed for life? Divorced? Dating? Or playing hard to get.