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The Wedding Dress Code Primer

Many of the questions I receive are about wedding-wear. This isn’t too surprising – weddings nowadays take many shapes and sizes and along with that comes an abundance of dress codes. A simple description of some of the popular wedding dress codes will hopefully make things easier. And remember: if you are still in doubt – it’s always safer to dress up then to dress down.

Casual beach wedding:

  • Ladies – a cotton knee length dress, flat sandals that you can take of easily in the sand, small clutch bag and your sunglasses. Take along a cropped cardigan for when it starts to get chilly.
  • Gents – a plain short sleeved cotton or linen shirt (un-tucked is perfectly acceptable), paired with cotton or linen casual flat front pants and leather slip on mules.  

Informal wedding:

  • Ladies – a festive knee length dress and strappy sandals matched with a small bag.
  • Gents – a plain or printed long sleeved shirt (un-tucked is again an option) paired with flat front cotton or linen pants and closed leather shoes.  

Jeans are still inappropriate for even the most casual wedding. Wedding casual is not the same as stay at home weekend casual.

Semi–formal / Dressy Casual:

Business Casual for both ladies and gents is the order of the day. Skirt and pant suits, a dress or separates with heels for her; and a long sleeved shirt (tucked in) with dress pants, belt and dressy shoes for him. This is the trickiest of all dress codes – ask the bride and groom if you are still unsure about the level of formality they have in mind.
 
Formal Daytime:

  • Ladies – a smart knee length dress or dressy suit separates with heels and accessories.
  • Gents – a dark or light suit with white or pastel shade of shirt and matching tie. Tuxedos are inappropriate for daytime formal weddings unless specified. 

Formal / Black-Tie (for evening weddings):

  • Ladies – cocktail dresses, dressy evening separates, dressy suits or long dresses are options. Heels, wraps and accessories are a must and so is a small elegant evening bag.
  • Gents – Tuxedos are optional unless specified. Dark suits with dark shirts and dark ties are best. Trendier versions of tuxedo jackets with black shirts and no tie are also acceptable. 

Ultra Formal / White-Tie (this is Oscar night!):

  • Ladies – Glitz and glamour galore! Only your best long ball gown, accessories and highest heels will do. Hair is best up or left loose with structured curls.
  • Gents – Three-piece full dress with waistcoat, white tie, shirt, cumber band and shiny shoes.

Congrats to the bride and groom, have fun at their joyous occasion and above all, arrive with style!

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9 Comments on...
The Wedding Dress Code Primer

One more question…I am getting ready to attend my son’s wedding…you can guess who it is…and I am trying to figure out what to wear. I have gone through my closet (very slim pickings) and am at a loss. Is there a way to get your advice long distance for my particular situation?

Yes Susan. Ask your question on the “Ask Angie” option on the side bar of my blog and I’ll be happy to assist. It shall only be me that reads your email.

I am about to attend my cousins wedding.At the wedding shower everyone dressed really nice, so what do I wear to a really fancy wedding? Do you think that gouchos would be okay with a pastel color shirt?

What to do about weddings that are at 4 pm followed by an evening reception for dinner dance? 2 outfits? Day then change to formal evening? Go Day? Go evening? Advice appreciated

What to do about weddings that are at 3 pm followed by an evening reception for dinner dance? Dress code is Formal – I am the mother of the bride. Can I wear a long sequinned dress and my husband a dark suit? Advice greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Our wedding colors are apple red…. What are the MOB and MOG color dress are they supposed to wear?

I really learned a lot here!Thanks Angie!I am about to attend my best friend’s wedding!It is a casual beach wedding!I think we could have fun there!I am looking forward to it!

I’m about to attend my husband nephew weeding In october the bride requested purple dress for the bridesmaid I found a sequence Purple dress sleepless up to my knee and Im trying to find q nice coat to wear on top, does that sound good for the weeding.

With respect, men who follow the advice here for men will be putting their foot wrong.

Black tie means tuxedo and it is only optional if it says “black tie optional.” Otherwise men have two choices: wear a tuxedo or politely decline the invitation. To wear anything short of a tuxedo for an affair that says “black tie” is extremely rude and disrespectful to your hostess.

When it says “black tie optional,” it means that they want you to wear one, but aren’t insisting if doing so would be a great expense or inconvenience If you own one or can rent one without stretching too much, you should. If you can’t, come anyway but dress-up as much as you can.

Semi-formal traditionally means black tie, (although your host may have gotten bad advice about that) in which case “formal’ means white tie. (The Oscars are black tie, not white tie, by the way.) More recently, people have come to refer to black tie as “formal” and white tie as “most formal.” (Not sure where “ultra formal” comes from. I’ve never seen it on an invitation.)

As the author says, if it says “formal” or “semi-formal” these days, you’ld better check with the host what that means to them. But if it says “black tie” or “white tie” (or even “most formal”) then the meaning is clear and you can’t get away with a dark suit or a shirt that isn’t white. Unless you want to be a bad and rude guest that otehr people are snarking about.

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