Would you rather be over- or underdressed? - YouLookFab Forum

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Dressing

Would you rather be over- or underdressed?

Aziraphale

Veteran

Suppose you are at some kind of special event, and you look around and realize you are not at quite the same "level of dressiness" as the majority. Would you prefer to find yourself a little overdressed, or a little underdressed?

My answer would be neither, of course. But if pressed, I think I'd rather be a little on the underdressed side. Except for a funeral, in which case I'd rather be overdressed.

I'm not talking about daily life here. (For me, it's difficult to be underdressed in daily life, since I'm surrounded by women wearing Uggs and sweatpants...so even though I err on the casual side, I'm still overdressed compared to them!).

I wonder if the polished gals and the RATE gals will have different answers?

Dressing

74 replies

Latest reply was from cciele

Thistle

Veteran

I would rather be overdressed, especially if it is a work event.

transition

I'd rather be overdressed too. In my circles, for a special event, overdressed might get you a compliment; underdressed will certainly get you criticized.

But I'd say overdressed every day, too. And yes, I'm on team polished, even though I almost never attain it.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Overdressed, but within limits. For example....if everyone is in jeans and glitzy tops, it won't bother me to be in a dress, but it WOULD bother me to be in jeans and a boring sweater. If everyone is in simple dresses, it won't bother me to be in a slightly dressier version. I don't mind wearing a jacket when no one else is, or a suit.

But if everyone were in a short cocktail dress and I showed up in a full length gown, I am not sure I would feel at my best.

Anonymous

Overdressed any day.

MsMary

Veteran

Over, please.

When I was just beginning my style evolution, I worked with a very chic lady whose style I really admired. One day at lunch we were talking about this subject and she laughed and said "I'm almost always the most dressed-up person in the room, wherever I am. And that's okay with me." I thought that was a great attitude and I've adopted it as my own.

Mia

Veteran

Slightly overdressed.

A friend once advised me to "dress for the event and the venue and don't worry about the rest". Works for me. I hate being underdressed.

shedev

Veteran

overdressed, I bat for team rate. My life is really casual so I really like to dress up for occasion calls for it.

Kalli

Overdressed but recently I've been criticized by it, it's sort of a backwards compliments isn't it when someone says "My you're kind of dressed up for a Sunday". To which I usually reply "What's wrong with trying to look your best everyday?" To my knowledge, since when is it a crime to want to dress well so you look good, meaning you'll feel confidant. Clothing is our armor against the world and how we present ourselves to the world!

adorkable

Veteran

Overdressed for sure. Better to look like you're aiming high than low.

I had an odd moment at my job interview last week. Someone made the point to me that people don't dress up in the Northwest - I was of course overdressed because I was interviewing - and I mumbled something about not wearing heels except for this kind of occasion. But goodness was it awkward.

amiable

Veteran

Slightly over for me too - same reasons and shedev

catgirl

Veteran

Believe it or not I am usually overdressed here, and I don't mind that because I'm wearing what I want. Even in BFs and a half-tuck, someone else is in yoga pants...

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

Definitely overdressed.

Anonymous

Ariraphale, I guess we're in the minority. Like you, I'm more comfortable being slightly underdressed at a special event. That's the rule I learned growing up in the 60s and it still feels right to me.

As a practical matter, when I go to black tie or cocktail attire event, I usually am dressed a bit less formally than most of the other women. That's mostly because of the styles I prefer -- matte fabrications, no sequins or bling, knee-length dresses rather than midi or full length. Same for jewelry -- lustrous gems like pearls, lapis, etc. seem to suit me better than glittery stones.

Mona

Veteran

I would rather be overdressed and I usually am.

Parsley

Veteran

Another overdressed (within reason).
But truly it would be hard to be underdressed at most of the places I go around here.

Jules

Veteran

Overall I would prefer to be slightly overdressed, I think.
Ryce, you learned an actual rule to be underdressed? I'm not trying to challenge you, just curious and trying to understand what you mean. As an aside, I guess pearls and lapis are more underdressed than diamonds etc, but I see that as understated rather than underdressed... I guess some would disagree and feel formality requires glitz but I'm on your team I think for me it's that I can't afford real diamonds and gold, don't want to fake it, and refuse to feel less appropriate just because I have less money.
adorkable, it is terrible that your interviewer felt the need to comment on your clothes and make you uncomfortable

DonnaF

Veteran

Out of respect for the host/hostess/deceased/bride & groom/whatever, I would much rather be slightly overdressed. That being said, I can't recall going to any truly dressy events in recent memory, but I am still a bit shocked at how sloppily some people are dressed for church, weddings, etc. I don't expect suits and the like, but flip-flops? Shorts?

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I remember someone wearing a full length lacey gown at a wedding and mentioning being uncomfortably overdressed. In that situation I think I would rather be slightly underdressed in a skirt and top maybe.
But in every day situations, I find myself in Una's shoes. Even my casual wear is often a notch dressier than those in my surroundings. Whenever the BF and I go to the casino, the timeshare barkers always try and sell us, thinking we are tourists, and can't possibly be locals. We have to explain each time we live in our own paid for house here lol.

Raisin

Veteran

Overdressed. I think I'd be much more embarrassed to be underdressed compared to everyone else.

biscuitsmom

Veteran

I would prefer to be overdressed, as well (within reason) but my DH would far prefer me to be underdressed I very rarely dress anything but the 'smart casual' that Im trying to achieve, but I think he'd be more comfortable if I lived in flip flops and sweats

Anonymous

The times I have been most aggravated by it is when I find myself overdressed. It just pisses me off a little, like I think to myself, "Dang it, I could have worn something more casual".

qfbrenda

Veteran

overdressed

MsMary

Veteran

DonnaF's comment reminds me that there is a restaurant in our town where I am always shocked (SHOCKED, do you hear?) at how sloppily the patrons dress. This is a very nice, upscale steak house you can drop $100 on dinner for two without breaking a sweat, and people show up looking like they are going to work in the yard! I swear... men in shorts, rubber flip-flops, and underwear-type t-shirts, women in sweatpants or short-shorts and tank tops... Mr. K and I always just shake our heads in amazement! It's really gotten to be a joke between us that when we walk in we raise the fashion bar by a mile! LOL

rnb

Definitely underdressed.

If we're clubbing and everyone else is in dresses, I'd feel more chic in a t-shirt and jeans than in a glitzier version of the dresses everyone else was wearing.

I think overdressed stands out more than underdressed. I showed up one time in a strapless dress to a pub crawl (laundry day) and I just felt dorky.

Overdressed says "I took the time to dress up for this event, and got it wrong." Underdressed says "I didn't have time to change."

(Hi everybody! I never post here, but I wanted to chime in, because I have passionate feelings about this subject. I used to be overdressed all the time because I was overweight and I felt like I had to compensate for my body or something.)

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

I'd prefer to be overdressed in an understated manner:)

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Hi, rnb! Welcome!

I guess my "within reason" qualifier makes things a bit unfair, perhaps. I'd feel equally awkward in a strapless party dress for a pub crawl as I would in my gym clothes.

What a crummy choice, eh?

I guess in the end it really depends on the "event" one has in mind. I am ordinarily dressier than everyone in my immediate circle, even though I am usually wearing jeans! Yes, it is true. Sigh....Even if I am wearing the distressed slouchy skinnies, I STILL look dressier. Why? Because I've added a jacket or a scarf and nice booties. So, you know...I just go with it.

jayne

Veteran

I would like to be overdressed, as I am usually the one underdressed and feeling a fool

qfbrenda

Veteran

Not to sound argumentative... but whether being under-dressed says, "I didn't have time to change" will depend on the event. For a trip to a bar or two, that absolutely fits. For other events, it will have a strong message of, "I didn't care enough to change", especially for personal events like a wedding or a funeral. If someone ends up over-dressed, at least they made a decent effort.

Either way, it's an interesting question. I hadn't thought a lot about the special event issue, but I end up over dressed in regular life all the time.

rnb

Hi Suz! I'd feel pretty awkward in gym clothes too, but at least I'd be in good company. And at least I'd be comfortable.

That said, I'd rather wear a totally blingy dress that fit me perfectly than a pair of terrible jeans. There's more than one axis!

(Also, my gym clothes could probably pass for street clothes. I am always overdressed at the gym.)

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