Good point, qfbrenda. I wouldn't wear a t-shirt to a wedding.

I think everyone who cares about how they look would strive for event-appropriate. In an unusual circumstance, I prefer to be slightly overdressed. I agree with MaryK about expensive restaurants, too - I am amazed at what some people will wear!

I think it is a sad reflection that culturally it is more acceptable to be under dressed, I mean jeans, fabulous as they are should not be appropriate for 99.5% of life.

I'm more at home on team polished and prefer to be slightly over dressed but in that oh so effortless way

Slightly overdressed here too -- and I'm of the RATE camp. But my version of overdressed might be different than someone else's version....

It's an interesting question, because the *objective* limits depend on how far down one dresses, when dressed down. Wearing the baggy sweats you've been wearing for a week to a wedding is beyond the pale, but cotton twills and chucks is not the end of the world.

In the old days, the rule of thumb for ladies who lunch was "better to be overdressed." But then again, changing clothes was a full-time occupation for ladies who lunch. There has to be a point to your existence.

Of course a real lady needs to be able to handle herself well in any unfortunate situation she finds herself in, so in some ways it doesn't ultimately matter.

In any case, these days I believe I'd prefer to be slightly under dressed. Not flip-flops at the opera under dressed, but times have changed. You dress to the nines and you look kinda scary. Like a Vegas showgirl up close.

Definitely overdressed. I tend to be more dressed up on a daily basis than others (at work and in my community) and I'm ok with that. As long as I feel comfortable and feel I look good then I'm happy.

Most definitely overdressed. I'd rather it looked as though I'd made too much effort than not enough x

underdressed and understated compared to the rest of our party. obviously not the whole place. i can't out-underdress those in shorts and flip flops without being naked!

this is very interesting....I think that I would be underdressed. I think that it was Tim Gunn who said it is better to be overdressed because you can always take things off. Underdressed leaves no options. I am not so sure about that. I do know that if I showed up in jeans and everyone else was in a ball gown, I would feel just as uncomfortable as the reverse.

Overdressed- I am used to it now, and my friends usually appreciate the way I am!

Overdressed definitely. I think I tend the dress up more because that's an extension of who I am. I prefer polished looks so I think my response was predictable.

For the most part I'd rather be on the overdressed side. I would still feel confident. If underdressed, not so much. The exception would be an event such as a company holiday party. Then I wouldn't mind being slightly underdressed in say, a suit, rather than be one of a couple of women in a flesh-revealing gown that's dressier than most. Maybe it's more a matter of coverage. Interesting question.

Overdressed. At least it makes it look like you care to take the time to put on something nice for someone's special event.

Besides, I'm used to it. I know my outfits probably seem casual to most of you, but believe me, I am always overdressed for lab.

It occurs to me there are different senses of the term "overdressed." You can be overdressed in the sense of being too formal or in the sense of being flash. I don't mind being overly formal, but I'd rather not be too flash.

My architect cousin used to joke that when people show up in certain flash cars, architects hang the "out to lunch" sign up because the belief is those clients never really have the money to see a project through.

I think I live in the same town as Mary K:) I've accepted the fact that just because I wear real clothes - not modified gym wear or wide cut-off pants - that I'm always going to be overdressed.

Rachylou, I totally agree with you re: formality vs. flash.

And it's funny, because out here I see people underdressed in the former sense at the very same time they are overdressed in the latter sense. I.e. cutoffs, tank top, and rubber flip-flops with an LV bag, Prada sunglasses, and an armful of expensive bracelets.

Jules, I grew up in the South in the 60s -- there were rules for EVERYTHING in that time and place. I don't know why "it's better to be underdressed than overdressed" was one of the few that stuck with me - most likely because it reflects what I prefer anyway.

At the time, I think there were a couple of reasons for the preference. One was that there was no cheap clothing in that era -- if you could afford to own fancier clothing at all, you were well off. So there was an element of "showing off" if you dressed in a way that others couldn't afford.

Secondly, the world was changing pretty rapidly then and more formal attire was beginning to be associated with being old-fashioned. (Remember Jackie Kennedy causing a sensation by going to church in a cotton dress and sandals?) So, if a woman went to bridge club wearing a dress when everyone else was in capri pants, she risked looking like a fuddy-duddy. But if she was the only one in pants, she could more easily characterize the "mistake" as "being modern".

Adorkable, I, too, am sorry you were made to feel awkward during a job interview -- a situation that is quite stressful enough!! That is absolutely a time when it is unquestionably better (in fact, I think expected) for one to be pretty formally dressed.

Ingunn, I was really taken with your comment that you'd prefer to be "overdressed in an understated manner." Upon reading that my immediate thought was "And I'd rather be tastefully underdressed." Maybe they are two sides of the same coin - we take the silhouettes and styles that we prefer and find ways to make them appropriate for different situations?

Holy moly! When I posted the question, I expected more "overdressed" responses than "underdressed". I did not expect such a landslide, however! Thank you for all your responses.

MaryK and Ruth, OF COURSE you said overdressed. I would have been willing to bet quite a lot of money on that.

Notice that I framed the question as "SLIGHTLY overdressed/underdressed". I'm not talking about showing up to a fancy cocktail party in ripped BF jeans and a tank top, nor a beach party in a tuxedo.

So, looks like once again I am in the minority. I am definitely more comfortable being slightly less dressy than the rest when at a function (excpetion: funeral), although truthfully I'd rather be dressed perfectly appropriately -- and that's always what I attempt to do! Maybe it stems from the long-held desire -- which I just can't seem to shake -- of never wanting to look like I'm trying too hard. You can't look cool if you're obviously trying hard. I think I was traumatized by being insufficiently cool in the ninth grade, and even as a 40-year-old, I'm trying to compensate. Haha.

The reality is, ironically, as it is for Mo and Una, that I am in fact often a little overdressed in my day-to-day life, because I live somewhere mighty casual.

Ryce: "tastefully underdressed" -- that's exactly it! Can I borrow your words?

I agree with dressing for the occasion and if that means others are under dressed that simply is not my problem.
P/A comments about being so dressed up will be met with a look of surprise and the response that "I like to honor the occasion".

overdressed hahah who doesn't? of course there is a limit

Put me on Team Polished! I find that if I am a little overdressed, I'm usually the first person to be seated, served, assisted, etc. And I don't usually pay for my own drinks

Probably overdressed a little bit ... and I find I usually am :p

But it'd be pretty embaressing to show up at a BBQ in a wedding gown. :p

Ohmigosh, you are so right MaryK about cutoffs with Prada. It's quite the juxtaposition. My writer's soul desires a word for this dynamic...

I think when you wear cutoffs with Prada, you're saying that you're casual and down-to-earth (cutoffs), but also rich. By wearing Prada with the cutoffs you're demonstrating that the cutoffs are a choice, rather than a matter of necessity/poverty.

Basically, it's not that you're poor, it's just that you're cool.

But you have to be listening on the right frequency to hear the message. Otherwise it just sounds like noise.

Ugh. That's not what it says to me. It says "I don't know how to dress myself properly in public but I do spend a lot of money on expensive status items!" To me that's the opposite of cool.

it depends on which prada shoe. cut offs with the neon strappy sandals, very fun and presumably appropriate for shopping or what have you.

cut offs with prada heels in broad daylight is tarty. at night, well, a business decision?

I prefer over-dressed. Being under-dressed says to me, I'm special, the rules don't apply to me, I don't need to make an effort. When I see people under-dressed at the SF Opera (the only dressy occasions in my lifestyle), it irritates me. The musicians are in tuxes, let's show some respect. Let's give the jeans and Cons a rest for tonight.

But I could see how my opinion could be perceived as snobby. I don't think it's an economic issue. You can find decent affordable clothing and suitable dressy outfits at budget places like H&M as well as thrift stores.

I think a lot of people are confusing "a little underdressed" with "a lot underdressed". Of course you wouldn't wear a t-shirt to a wedding! No one would (I hope), unless it was one of those ultra-casual beach weddings where the bride is Pamela Anderson in a white bikini.

Denise, to be fair, when you talk about the people at the opera wearing jeans and Converse, we're talking WAY underdressed. I agree that that's unacceptable because it broadcasts disrespect. But I was thinking, OK, I've never been to the opera, what would *I* wear? I'm not sure if it's a cocktail dress sort of thing or what, so let's err on the side of caution and wear something nice but not *too* nice -- say a pencil skirt, sheer hose and heels -- because I'd rather be a little underdressed than feel slightly awkward in a sparkly cocktail dress if that's not what everyone else is wearing. Ditto wedding. What if I upstage the bride? Ack!

A funeral, however, is the one occasion where I want to look as sober and formal as possible, regardless of what everyone else chooses to wear.

OK, thanks for the clarification. I think I was exaggerating to make a point, sorry if it sounded like I was judging yours / Ryce's and others' preference of being understated.

... But I was not exaggerating about the jeans and Cons at the Opera! I have seen attire like this at numerous performances.