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WIW and hair ambivalence

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

It has been about six weeks since I had my hair chopped and, style wise, it has been quite confusing. My debut on YLF went over well (and really helped me face myself in the mirror) but I was sort of braced for the variety of reactions I expected to get in the rest of my life. Well, I have been a bit flabbergasted about how many positive comments I got, even from people that I would not normally expect to notice my hair one way or the other, and certainly not to comment. This is not to say everyone likes it - but more do than I expected.

The problem is me. It is not so much that I don't like it as it just confuses me when I look in the mirror. The tomboyish looks I am used to wearing don't look right to me at all, and I have been feeling the need to girly up my look. Suddenly I more drawn to ballet flats (which I have almost never worn) than oxfords.

Anyway, my hair has grown enough to take on a bit more personality, and I have still not decided what to do next. I will say that so far I am happy with the grey - some people think I got highlights and a few have said I look younger (!). The main problem is that it is even drier and more ornery than my old hair, but with a lot of product I am coping.

So in short, I haven't felt much like taking my picture but I am trying to get into the groove again. These are four outfits I have worn in the past week - all variations on my summer uniform, but I would love to know your thoughts on what is working or not working, including my hair!

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30 replies

Latest reply was from Aida

Deborah

Veteran

Shevia, I love your style and these variations on your summer uniform as really fab! I particularly like #4. And I just love your short hair and the grey is very flattering. My immediate thought is would you consider trying something like Angie's current style? You would have length on the top and volume and I find it very feminine ( not that your hair doesn't look feminine, it does).

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I think your hair looks great! I also admire your minimalist style in these photos, but I understand how you might feel the need to add a little something. How about a cuff bracelet or some cool architectural earrings to add a bit of shine?

Those shoes in #2 are awesome.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

First of all Shevia, your style is fabulous. I love how you can rock a tomboy look and still look feminine. I don't think this is easy and that's why I admire it all the more. All four of these outfits are perfect AS IS, and I especially love #2 - adore the color combination, silhouette and proportions. I agree with Janet that the shoes are particularly fabulous.

I loved your haircut the moment I saw and I have not changed my mind at all - in fact, I love it more each time I see it. Are you maybe wanting to "girly" things up a bit because you feel the shorter hair is a bit too masculine? Is it the loss of your curls that makes you feel less like yourself? FWIW I think the short hair has amped up your look even more (if that's possible) and is very, very flattering. But you have to love it too.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Well, I agree with Shannon, 100%. Your style is distinctive, comfortable, tomboyish, yes, but also feminine -- and these outfits illustrate it. For me, your short hair actually showcases your femininity, showing your pretty features to advantage. And your hair looks great.

But. I understand. You may be attached to your curls, or may feel more comfortable with a bit of a screen between you and the world. For me, personally, longer hair acts as a subtle barrier - - my glasses do the same. When I am wearing them I am a teeny tiny bit removed, vs. when I am bare-faced.

And when I first cut my hair as a teenager, I felt compelled to wear earrings all of a sudden. Just "something" to make me feel more feminine. In that environment, cutting one's hair short was almost tantamount to saying that one didn't care about being feminine. That is how many in the environment interpreted it. It takes a certain kind of determination to ignore those social attitudes. And a certain kind of self-confidence, which I didn't have at the time, but learned to fake.

My special fave here is #2. Gorgeous!

Sara L.

Veteran

I think these are all great outfits and the shoes in each one really make each outfit special (especially love the shoes in #2). As Janet says, maybe some accessories such as a long pendant necklace or earrings would add the more feminine feel that you are looking for.

Vix

Veteran

Hi Shevia --

Love the hair cut and your natural color, and think the hair/outfits look very harmonious in terms of color and shapes.

To me #2 accomplishes what you're looking for the best, and I have a feeling it's those decidedly non-unisex heels you're wearing! If you want to up the femininity of the other outfits a bit more I agree with the above about adding simple strong jewelry -- a long pendant, cuff, earrings -- but there's certainly no need to do so IMO.

Since you said your hair is feeling dry to you I would suggest a couple of things:

making sure shampoo/conditioner is sulfate-free
checking your products -- I have coarse wavy hair and some products dry it out way, way too much and get passed along
"washing" with conditioner (as if it were shampoo) more frequently than shampoo

Grey hair is more fragile than other types and does have to be babied a bit.

Liz A.

Veteran

Shevia, I am new, so I didn't see your hair before, but it does look very flattering at this length. However, I say let it grow if you are not comfortable with it.

Just so I understand, are you saying that you are embracing the sudden urge to feminize your look? Or would you rather retain your tomboy look and become more comfortable with the hair?

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I want to thank you all for your support and understanding.
Deborah I am thinking of trying to grow out the layers but keep the general shape and length - I am just not sure what my hair will say about that!
Janet the first thing I did after my haircut was start trying on my (many) earrings. The problem is nothing but studs seem to look right - anything with a drop seems to pull my face down whereas the hair is trying to bring it up. Maybe I just don't have the right pair of architectural earrings though!
Shannon, that's it, I think I miss the curls and the haircut, which is made of a lot of short layers, does look sort of masculine on me. I certainly don't think that about you, or Suz, or Angie, or anyone else with a short cut so I am not sure what my problem is!
Suz, you are so right, I am used to using my hair as a buffer and with this haircut I am all out there - of course a big hat is a great substitute buffer.
Vix, you are absolutely correct about grey hair. My hair was rough before and I rarely use shampoo, but I have had to ramp up my conditioner use a lot with my new super dry hair.
BTW, #2 is definitely my favorite above, and I am glad to see a lot of you agree! I think in reaction to the combination of short and grey hair I am moving toward a more ladylike vibe, and that is about as ladylike as I get so far.

ETA Liz, you asked the right question and I am just not sure I know the answer - that is just what I am trying to figure out!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

You look sensational in these outfits Shevia, and you are still an ELEGANT Tomboy - not just a tomboy. I LOVE #2!!! That's my best, best, best!! I love you in sleeveless Queen Long Shorts! It's feminine

I hear you on your hair epiphany. My new punk-y-do is less feminine and pretty than my pixie and as a result, I do want to add in a little girly flair amidst my tomboy looks. Like low heeled pointy toe shoes!!! I just bought a pair and another is on the way to me.

Shevia, you have beautiful curls. I wonder whether you can use product to bring out the curl while it is still so short? Also, adding in the girlier shoes is the way to go. As well as the "pretty" top. Your bottoms can stay all boyish :). Not that you don't look killer already - but you have to feel killer too.

Welcome to the next leg of your style journey

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

I love your style, Shevia, the short hair brings out your beautiful face with that gorgeous smile! I think you are both feminine and smart looking, and my favorites are #2 and #3. The length of your pants is really flattering.

deb

Veteran

You look wonderful and playful with your hair this way. It highlights your eyes and smile. #3 is my favorite of you looks but I like them all.

Jonesy

Veteran

As I mentioned on one of your earlier threads, I loved your curls and I think they worked beautifully with your clean, edgy, elegant tomboy style. The juxtaposition was fab. Can you enhance your curls now, as Angie is suggesting? I love these outfits, btw! You rock the dark blue and longer shorts like nobody's business :)! You look very modern to my eye.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I think #4 is my favorite here - I think due to the color and ever so slightly more feminine edge to the top. I really like #3 too. It seems that finding the balance of feminine/tomboy is the key so you are already on to this. But I'm guessing your style is minimal so just the slightest touch of a lace edge or hint of a ruffle may be all it takes. And your hair looks fantastic to me but I don't know how it looked longer - I'll have to go back and see if you have pics still up.

If longer earrings seem to draw down, maybe stick with studs but go for bigger ones with more style/color impact. More substance to them. And maybe experiment with bracelets to add just a bit more of a feminine edge to your existing style. I like to do this when I don't want to wear a necklace or sometimes in addition to the necklace.

Oh and semi-tuck using belts with decoration might be a good way to feminize an otherwise minimal outfit. I like to think of belts as jewelry. I think Angie is the one who gave me that concept.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Great advice here already about making the look more feminine - belts, cuffs & shoes are my go-to touches.

I really love the cut but if it doesn't feel like you then my advice would be to experiment. I think you would look fab with short curly hair too:)

Anonymous

Oh Shevia, I missed your haircut post! I love it, and the first thing I noticed was how pretty (and feminine) the shape of your face is. The grey looks so good and you look completely transitioned, yay! How long were you hiding in the cocoon?

On your thoughts about hair and femininity, I totally understand. Your hair is probably your most noticed accessory and it changes the vibe of whatever you wear. The color and the cut, and you've just changed both, so it makes sense that it will take time to figure everything out. If one element is suddenly more masculine or feminine than it was in the past, it throws off a formula that has been working for you. (I feel my new specs add a masculine element, so believe me I've been playing with earrings, etc. too! Everything seems strange).

FWIW I am totally smitten with outfit #2, which seems very "Angie in Las Vegas" to me. I love the ink with the black, the shapes, everything. You rock the long shorts like nobody's business! Maybe you should try these tops with a denim skirt. JUST KIDDING.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Love #2.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I don't know what your hair looked like before, but I love the way it looks now! It's a little longer and wavier than a couple of weeks ago, and I really like the waves showing up here (though I also liked it shorter). These are all super looks on you, and I especially like #2--it's a little more dressed up looking than the others, and very chic. Your style is just as Angie says, elegant tomboy, and I think a little RATE. So unfussy yet still elegant.

I just love your oxfords on you. Whatever you need to do to keep wearing them, do it--if you have to add earrings, go for it! Maybe try some simple, medium-sized, non-shiny hoops?

On "ornery" hair (I love your description!): my hair, too, tends to get dry sometimes. I discovered that products (the very ones I use to smooth frizz, add moisture, tame the curls) can tend to make it drier feeling. So once a week, I've taken to using a clarifying shampoo, to really clean out any product that may be lingering, and follow with a moisture mask (a thick conditioner you leave on for a few minutes before rinsing out). Works wonders; my hair is feeling a lot softer and is on its best behavior much more of the time since I started this routine.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Thank you all for being so understanding about my hair woes! I have certainly had bad haircuts in my life that made me feel upset - but this is time it is a good haircut that is upsetting my sense of style. Who knew?

Angie you totally understand me! I am also desperately looking for pointy toed shoes wherever I go! (If you do a pointy toe round up, I might just order something!) My hair is the sort that gets curlier the longer it is, so I am going to let it grow another bit and then talk to my hairdresser about how to make it more curly. But I beg to differ on your assessment of the prettiness of your hair. Your longer blonde hair is very pretty indeed!

Thank you Ingunn! This is the most flattering shorts length on me so I stick with it more or less. Also thank you and Deb for mentioning #3. I think that one looked better in person because the shorts fit better in motion.

Hi Jonesy! I am always so thrilled to "see" you, thank you for commenting! Yes, I want some curl back - I just need a bit more length to get it. I think.

Texstyle you made some great suggestions, and I am indeed on the lookout for some less conservative, more interesting studs. And you are very right about using belts also, which is one of my new favorite things to do thanks to YLF.

Caro, thank you. I am trying!

Claire you are so wise and so funny! I chopped my hair about 6 weeks ago because I was tired of looking at the growing out roots, and then I participated in the movie poster challenge, and then I went into picture taking hibernation while I waited for my hair to grow or my eye to adjust.

Anna thank you!

Carla

Veteran

I have to say that I do love your short hair very much. I also thought you had a signature style before the big cut, but keeping that style would have meant a long awkward transition to your natural hair as you grew out what was coloured.

You could grow your hair back to your previous style, but play with and enjoy the different steps. If it turns out that you love shorter hair more, you can cut it again, since now you know it does work for you.

If you have the time and inclination, check out the blog Karla's Kloset. She has been growing out a pixie for a year, and has very curly hair.

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Beth Ann

Veteran

Good to see you again, Shevia! Lovely, modern looks, particularly in 2 and 3. I'm another one loving the way your haircut opens your face. I think you've gotten lots of feedback already, but I'd encourage not to force yourself to "like" it, but to continue to explore the changes and the new possibilities. Even if you grow you hair out again, you will have made new, valuable discoveries about your style and the nature of femininity.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I like your hair strategy, Shevia. Product and length will bring out the curl very successfully :). And high five on the pointy toes! (Thanks for the kind words).

Vicki

(website)

Veteran

Shevia, you are so adorably chic and a "chic tomboy" at that! I particularly love #2 and #3 and would copy #2 in an instant (as long as my top had sleeves). I'm also loving your shoes in #1 and #2. Isn't Angie amazing with her suggestions, too!

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Oh, Shevia, I think I understand a little better where you're coming from. My hair gets curlier when it's longer, too. I'd love to wear it shorter, but then the curls practically disappear. It will be fun to see you as your hair as it grows a bit and more curls appear! You look so fab now, at any rate. During the movie poster challenge, I was struck by how your face resembles Audrey Hepburn's quite a bit!

Mochi

Veteran

Wow, Shevia. You and others here today are rapidly disproving my thesis that warm weather leads to fashion laziness and lack of creativity in the name of staying cool and practical. Your looks are not fussy but they are interesting and varied. I love your shoes, all of them. I think your haircut really frames your face nicely, and balances out your entire look, and is so perfect for summer.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Runcarla - I would love for my hair to look something along the lines of your second picture of Karla - not sure my hair is up to it but it is a great target.
Vicki - I am flattered to the tips of my toes that you would copy anything anything I would wear!
Firecracker - I thought I recognized a hair sister! I already pounce on your pictures for hair inspiration. And I think I literally blushed when I read your comment about AH - I don't resemble her at all but the short hair inspired me to ham it up!
Nancy - you are a sweetheart! And another sister in curls - thank you!

Indeed Angie is amazing with her suggestions (and her pointy shoes)!

pil

Veteran

Nothing new to add, Shevia. You and your hair are gorgeous, and with those outfites you should be in someone's fashion blog under the heading "Wow!".

Kiwichik

Veteran

Well I haven't read everyone else's posts so forgive me if I am repeating what has already been said. I really like your short hair I particularly like the first photos you posted when it as even shorter than it is now. From what I can see your hair and usual style work well together so maybe you haven't really gotten used to it?

nancylee

Veteran

You really look beautiful in short hair or with your previous hair length, Shevia, but I understand how the short haircut might throw your style into a bit of a tailspin. Short hair has different requirements, and you might have to fumble around a bit to feel comfortable with your new look...and tweak your style a bit to feel like everything is working together.

You've gotten a lot of good advice from Angie, Suz, Shannon, and other short hair lasses...so I'll just chime in to say *don't worry*. You might feel a little out of sorts with the new look, but the rest of us see a super fashionable woman with great style.

Sarah A

Veteran

I have no great hair wisdom (I think it looks good though!) am loving 1 and 3 outfts

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