Why are flats so unflattering on me? - YouLookFab Forum

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Why are flats so unflattering on me?

agrace

I love to see Marianna rock her flats and Angie and so many others on here. I try to do the same thing but I really am just not comfortable in them. Even a 1 inch wedge makes me happier. BUT they are really hard to find. So frequently when I'm about do I admire the way other women look in flats - I saw a mother to be today wearing a simple black dress and gold thong flat sandals and it looked great.

I feel dumpy when I wear flats. Last year was the last time I posted any pictures, but for any who remember, I have muscular (read: thicker) legs and ankles. So I feel like even a 1 inch lift makes my legs look sooo much better.

Do most of you feel good in flats?

General

34 replies

Latest reply was from Mamapicklejuice

Maya

Veteran

I usually feel better in flats than in heels but I won't beat a dead horse explaining why.

It's probably just your perception that they look bad on you. Flats can look fabulous on anyone.

Beth

Veteran

I was thinking the same as Maya. Are you sure flats are unflattering? Looking down on them really isn't the best angle to get a good idea. Personally, I can't think of anyone I've seen who doesn't look good in flats:)

I love flats. I think I wore flats 4 out of 5 days this week!

taylor

Veteran

Wear what makes you feel most comfortable and suits your lifestyle. There is no right or wrong...whatever works. You have not posted in a long time...care to let us see you in flats?. we just might surprise you, as I am sure we will see something different than you:)

agrace

Maya, I wish you would beat the dead horse LOL! My little theory is that those of you who look great in flats probably do not have the thick legs that I have.

Someday I will post some pictures of my legs in flats vs. my legs in heels or wedges and let the jury decide. I just feel really uncomfortable in flats. Probably the way many of you feel in heels, I feel in flats.

taylor

Veteran

agrace, I don't own a single flat (and I have alot of shoes). They just don't feel right on me...so I get what you are saying:)

agrace

Taylor, I would wear heels, mostly in the form of wedges, every single day if I could! I do need to post the 'leg match' of my legs in flats vs. some heel. But even if I were to be told I look okay in flats, for some reason I just feel yucky in them. Kinda dumpy. I think it has something to do with this desire i've always had since I can remember to be tall (as it is I'm 5'5) and wearing flats makes me feel, well, flat LOL!

Steph

Veteran

I have very muscular calves but thin ankles and I look horrible in flats; I look very squat. My calves are so muscular, and when I wear a flat shoe the shape of my calf is very wide. When I wear a heel it makes my calf muscle contract in the back, which makes my calf appear slimmer and longer.

taylor

Veteran

YES!!!!!! I hear you.:) Your~ style~ and proportions, balance, height , perception of yourself.... all play into...

kaycee

Well I have worn flats, and felt ok in them but I do know that they look bad on me. I have very wide large feet (with bunions! Sounding better by the minute aren't they? lol) and thick ankles so my feet distort the shape of the shoe and my ankles turn in slightly leaving an unsightly fat crease there. A bit of a heel works better though I will forgo this occaasionally for the right (casual) "feel"to the look. I think I like the idea of flats but they probably aren't the right look for me.

FiestyWife

I have thicker calves as well (thanks Dad) and know that heels would make me looker leaner & longer. HOWEVER, I've recently admitted to myself that they just don't work for me & my life & my fussy feet. I can stand them for special occasions but flats just make me happy. I'll be looking into lowish wedges when my spending freeze is lifted. I think you just need to decide what works for you and then be happy with it. I'd love heels (they're so gorgeous) but the difficult search for the perfect flats will make them all the more special!

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

I don't think I look all that great in flats either, but I have come to realize that there are so many kinds of flats it's dangerous to make a blanket statement like that. The ballet flats aren't the most flattering to my legs, but I like the Audrey Hepburn attitude they bring to my outfits. That said, I love flat sandals of all kinds, and peeptoes can be adorable.

So, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater! Experiment with different styles.

marianna

Veteran

Thanks for the compliment! I don't know why I feel better in flats, I just do. They're girly and pretty and "me." I know my legs don't look a mile long in them, but I don't really care. I don't feel like myself in heels -- that's where I have my mental road-block. To each her own! Wear what makes you feel fab!

marianna

Veteran

Also, I want to add that I have HUGE feet... as big as they come... and my feet look fine in flats. Also my legs are not slender. That said: ANYONE can wear flats if they want to!

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

I have *very* large calves and thick legs in general, and I siport flats a few times per week because the comfort factor is just so wonderful. Do whatever feels most comfortable for you, and if that means bypassing the ballet-flat trend, so be it!

Jamie

I don't look good in flats either.. Same reason, I have flat, wide feet and thick ankles, so a shoe with a little heel, even 1/4 in is better for me. The only flats I wear are my beloved Havianas (which I know are not popular, given the recent post on flip flops) and my Converse tennis shoes! But, I can rock a pair of heels like nobodys business, while admiring those gals in their darling ballet flats. It is really all about what makes you feel good, right?

Frances

Agrace, I know exactly where you're coming from! I long to rock a pair of chic French ballet flats, but I have thick, muscular calves and they just are not flattering on me with most outfits. (But they do seem to work with my wider-leg hiking pants for some reason.) I know this sounds counterintuitive to most women, but my legs and thighs ache like crazy after a day of walking around in flats, and my mother, who was one of the least style-conscious women you could have met--had the same trouble with any kind of flat shoe. We both just seem to need some kind of arch in our shoes, even a small one. I usually wear heels most days and my legs thank me for it with a pain-free night's rest.

That being said, I do have 2 pairs of Clarks ballet flats that I can get away with--maybe because they are not strictly a flat in the skimmer sense, but have just a tiny bit of a heel. Here's one of the pairs:

http://www.amazon.com/Clarks-W.....038;sr=8-1

I can't recall the name of the other or provide a link, but you'll get what I mean if you look at the ones linked to above. The tiny bit of heel helps, but I suffer intensely if I wear them beyond 3-4 hours. And I don't think it's the flats' fault!

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

I could have written your original post. I have very muscular thighs and calves, and I'm also very curvy. Flats get lost on me, and the proportions just don't look quite right.
I feel most fab in some sort of heel anyway, so I'm okay with that. I've slowly been buying up the Kenneth Cole wedge sandal collection.

Lisa

Veteran

I think everyone can wear flats, but sometimes it takes a while to find the right one's. Sometimes I think a pointy toe is best, for others a rounded ballet flat. I also think how far up the foot the flat falls makes a difference. Some flats are cut awfully low and you start to see the toes, I don't think that works on wider feet.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I think it can also have alot to do with the outfit. I have a pair of ballet flats that I like best with bootcut jeans. I have worn them with skirts but I'm not as wild about the silhouette. Flat sandals are a different story though-- for me because they are much more foot exposing, they work with jeans and skirts alike.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

My dear agrace, if you feel better in a one inch heel or higher - then that's the way to go! All heel heights are fabulous as long as you are confident and can get on with your day :0)

Refugee

Veteran

Like any other garment, I don't believe all flats are created equal. At least not for the individual. I love flats but but can't wear every style. I like a ballet style best on me. Pointy toed flats are not for me. I also have to be careful that the top does not come too far up on my foot because of my high arch. They can end up digging into the top of my foot. I almost always have to add an arch support as well. What I'm on the hunt for now is the perfect fitting pair of plain flats. Then I want to get some shoe clips to play with so I can change the look up without taking up my limited closet space.

Vix

Veteran

Agrace, I have the same ankle/calf situation and while sturdy and muscular has its upside, I pass most flats by and stick to the suggestions I've seen for enhancing one's qualities.

[I actually pass most flats by unless I'm exercising since I need tons of arch support and my legs are proportionally short. And yes, I am on the Wedge Bench with you there!]

IIRC Trinny says:

* The more substantial the ankle, the more substantial OR open the shoe. So loafers, clogs, backless sneakery things OR thongs, preferably skintone.

* "Not the best" = kitten heels, pointy/skinny toes (fine when heels not flats), or ankle straps.

Another tip I've read many places: If you have a wider foot (I do) avoid anything that goes straight across the toe area -- look for diagonal lines instead. And avoid an open ballet shoe look -- go for a flat with a V vamp and more foot coverage on the sides.

It sounds ridiculous, but delivering myself from ankle straps and kitten heels made me appreciate my ankles/legs so much more, ha. More gladiators for others....

[It's funny because while in other matters I'm not particularly conventional or a rule follower, with proportion-based clothing stuff I find it hard to "go back" now that I can compare and contrast. At most I will usually try to split the difference between "recommended" and "can do better."]

shiny

Veteran

Agrace, it's possible that your eye just isn't used to seeing yourself in flats. I sometimes feel as you do, and my calves and ankles are rather slim. If I've been wearing heels a lot, and I switch to flats, it simply takes time for my eye to adjust to the new proportions in the mirror.

Also I think choosing choosing the right flat can make all the difference: you want one that is deeply cut (I am forgetting the term here) and doesn't cover too much of the top of your foot. This will elongate your leg. A nude or lighter color will do the same - much better than a black or brown flat.

As for sandals, a thong is going to elongate much more so than a gladiator sandal or a slide, because it bares more of your foot. I can't wear thongs, so I do break this rule - but only with nude or light colored sandals.

When wearing skirts or clams, you need to make sure the hemline is just right!! At the knee. If any longer, then yes, flats are going to make you look dumpy and stumpy. With heels, you can get away with a slightly longer hemline because you're giving your legs an extra inch or two.

As for jeans, for some reason, to my eye at least, it seems that skinny jeans work best with flats compared to bootcuts. I don't know why that is. It may be all in my mind.

Maya

Veteran

Also, if you're used to wearing heels, switching to flats can be uncomfortable because you have caused your leg muscles to contract. It's not good for your feet, legs, or back to wear one or the other exclusively. I rotate between flats and 2" heels and every length in between. I know some women only wear flats or only wear heels and feel fine, but everyone could benefit from switching it up.

I honestly think it is very hard to be objective about your body and see what other people see, and that results in some unduly harsh criticism about things that no one else probably even notices. I once sat in Madison Square Park while I had a long time to kill (before meeting Tanya for pastries), and I spent my time doing a survey of how many women walked by wearing flats vs heels, dividing them into categories by height. Flats won overwhelmingly, and the frequency decreased as the height increased...just as expected. That said, the women who were wearing flats were all different shapes and sizes and had all different types of legs, calves, and ankles...and not once did I even notice. I still don't notice. The vast majority of women in NY wear flats or low heels, and I can't think of a single time I noticed a woman and thought "OMG HER CALVES ARE HUGE."

Ok...actually that isn't true. There was one time, but it was more like "her calves are too big for those shoes, it must be so painful!" They were a pair of sandals that were basically more like boots. They had a series of very densely packed, skinny round straps that wrapped around the entire foot and about 1/4 of the way up the leg. There was no breathing space in between the straps at all. Only the toes were exposed. She had the calf equivalent of muffin top going on in those shoes, spilling out over the top of the boot shaft. It was unsightly and looked horrendously painful. She must have had red marks all over her legs. and those skinny straps must have dug in like knives. I wanted to cry just looking at them. And they weren't even cute! Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent...

Kyle

Veteran

I can totally relate. I love the IDEA of flats, especially since I am 5'10." But when I put them on I almost always feel frumpy. And I really have no idea why.

sinead

I also feel frumpy in flats and I figured out that, for me, the problem is a super short distance between my knee and ankle. Having short shins (and thus, short legs) is always throwing off proportions, so I always go for some heel, even if it's just a slight wedge. Makes all the difference.

agrace

Gosh, Thanks everyone! I love the diversity here - so many of you can identify and so many feel great in flats. It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I actually walk better and feel more balanced in a bit of a heel.

The problem? As a MOTG, there are times when I feel like I should wear flats (park, zoo, for example) but I'm so uncomfortable in them. Low wedges are actually really hard to find. I love a high heel but I can't wear them for daily life. I am trying to build up my low wedge collection though.

Inge

(website)

I can totally relate too, I just don't have the ankles for them, although - with some convincing of Angie - I am willing to give them another try.
I do know that I need flats with a wider toe box and with some interesting detailing on the nose, if possible a low vamp as well.

Like you, I'll probably always feel my best in higher heeled shoes and I absolutely love wedges, because they often provide more comfort and stability. And I just love the look too.

You're right though, finding low wedges isn't always easy. So I hear you!

Sarah: grin;-)) I've been eyeing some of those myself too.

How high a wedge would you prefer for daily MOTG outfits? Would any of these work?

http://www.zappos.com/type-z-trendi-green-patent

http://www.zappos.com/ecco-cas.....ho-leather

http://www.zappos.com/me-too-sweet-red-patent

http://www.zappos.com/french-s.....rint-suede

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....VmP2oyjFEQ

Vix

Veteran

Well, you know I hear ya! Below are a couple of styles that have worked for me (or seem like they should!).

For flat-flats I will always look for a D'Orsay like the Seychelles Get Outta Town if I can't do a straight-up thong thang or chunky-heeled mule.

http://www.zappos.com/seychell.....?zlfid=111

In other Seychelles news, Angie posted these low wedges; the vamp looks like it has more of a V than a rounded shape and if you're palish the pewter metallic should blend well with your skin:

http://www.zappos.com/seychelles-sophia-pewter

http://youlookfab.com/store/20.....-toe-flat/

Don't know how sporty you want to go, but the 1.25" Hush Puppies have some nice diagonal detailing as do the Merrell's, which are also fairly open:

http://www.zappos.com/hush-pup.....er-leather
http://www.zappos.com/merrell-savannah-tan-leather

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