weekend lunch date 2.11.23 - YouLookFab Forum

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weekend lunch date 2.11.23

LJP

Veteran

I'm having a tough time with the "new fashion " - which I've mentioned here before. I love keeping abreast of different trends and looks, even if I don't adopt every one of them. I really enjoy the longer. looser , less fitted jeans and cargos that are everywhere now, but anything I've tried on makes me feel fat (sorry to use that word, but it's my experience I'm sharing) and unattractive. I can't figure out what my version is of these new looks should be. My body has changed a lot in the past few years, and I've definitely gained a lot of weight, which is difficult to remedy. I know that we are to not let the clothes and the changes in silhouette boss us around ....so I revert to what I know, while not moving forward.

Feeling a little stuck I could use some visuals of these new looks on someone more my size - as opposed to the tall, thin models we see in Fashion Week photos . Surely I’m not then only one who struggles with new silhouettes on a body that wasn’t what it once was ??

I wore this for a lunch date yesterday with one of my best friends...weekends are where I get to dress, put on makeup and fragrance and do the things that make me feel fab. I joked to my gf that I have one " good blouse" (we love that term and often quote our mothers using it) and I wear it for every event . She was wearing a Kors mixed media bomber jacket from 2009 , cropped flare GAP jeans and Taos combat boots.

old kick crop flares in coated denim - Massimo Dutti
old chiffon print boho blouse - Anthro
new(er) chunky chain trim mules - Brown's Couture
fishnet knee his
old quilted coat - BR
old Coach bag
fragrance: Thymes Aqua Coralline (I used to rep this line and still have lots of product )
earrings : Nickle & Suede (pretty over the top, but eh, once in awhile they are fun)

* Please no "you are being too hard on yourself" comments? Thanks

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43 replies

Latest reply was from Carol

Tanya

Veteran

This is a wonderful and very cohesive outfit that looks wonderful on you! The shoes look great with the jeans, and the blouse, coat and bag work very well together.

As for the newer, longer and looser pants vs. older shapes, for me it is not an "all or nothing" situation. I have started wearing the new shapes and am still figuring my way around them, however I am still wearing a lot of older ones, especially crop kick flares which are personal favorites and don't think I will stop wearing them for a long time. I just wore a pair last night for an informal dinner at a friend's place. I actually like mixing up silhouettes and not wearing the same ones, even the most current ones, all the time.

Helena

Veteran

I love this Lisa and what strikes me is how the chunkier loafers you've got on really make the whole look "2023" ... Maybe accessories/shoes etc are a good day to keep your more tried and true silhouettes up to date ... Without compromising the fits you feel best in?

slim cat

Veteran

I'm having some trouble with looser fitting pants/jeans - mostly for the reason of the "flat" appearance of my behind. My older jeans were able to hug and give more roundness to my butt - lol. I think it was always my concern - how things look on the back view, and how to hide it with longer jackets, toppers/blouses . Now I feel that my fitted in hips jeans look somewhat off to me and that makes me feel confused a bit about what to wear now. So I know the feeling of being a bit lost in current fashion.

You look polished, put together. Your hair is fantastic - better than ever.
Your skin looks smooth and fresh - all that is envy of many women.
It'll take time to find our "take" on current fashion - hopefully this year
( I'm trying to be optimistic ).

Janet

(website)

Veteran

What a great look -- I'm loving how olive is looking with your new hair color too.

I like some aspects of the newer styles -- full-length pants have always been a little easier for me to work with, for some reason. When I tried cropped kick-flares I felt they emphasized how big my hips and thighs are -- I do much better with straighter cut pants that either fall fairly evenly from the hip down, or full-length flares that seem to emphasize the length of my legs rather than their shape or lack thereof.

But I'm already tired of oversized everything. I'm glad I didn't invest too heavily on oversized jackets -- I have a couple of cheap and trendy big jackets that I've worn an acceptable amount if they don't make it to next fall.

And I hear you on dealing with "how does this look on a non-model, middle-aged body?" I'm a bit annoyed with some of the IG fashion accounts that can't seem to show a look without it being on a stick-thin model. Especially when it comes to jeans/denim.

I am trying to restyle what I already have in a way that's a *little* different from what I've done in the past, in an effort to capture a bit of "chill" even when I'm dressing for public view. I'm becoming less matchy-matchy, wearing my graphic tees more, and trying to simply relax into what feels right to me at this point in my life. I think it's possible to incorporate little updates into the silhouettes and styles that make us feel good, even on days when we are not feeling our most self-confident.

Example: last week I was having a bad bloaty day when I had to dress for dinner with my husband and a work colleague of his, and his partner, at a trendy restaurant. After a couple of false starts with oufits that felt too stuffy or dressy, I wore a base outfit of COH boyfriend jeans and a basic black V-neck tee, and added the Huma Blanco boots, my new velvet blazer, and a studded black leather belt and black studded clutch/crossbody. I added an interesting necklace to fill a bit of the deep V neckline, so that when I got a little warm, I could remove my jacket and still feel "dressed." I felt comfortable physically and emotionally, which helped me enjoy the evening. To me, that's the goal of a good outfit!

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Angie

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KILLER

Love! One of my faves on you! The loafers are a gorgeous match with the knee-highs, pants and earrings! Super pretty blouse too!

Lisa, you look the furthest thing from stuck, or having a tough time with fashion. You look 100% STYLISH and this is "moving forward"! You are sticking to silhouettes that make you happy, and are wearing them with ease, verve, energy, and confidence. THAT is style. You are there! Please carry on

I see beautiful dark and thick short hair! The colour is magical!

Dee

Veteran

Although your lunch outfit is very nicely pulled together and looks great with your new hair, I get the idea of feeling a bit stuck with all these new pant styles changing things up now.

It can be very hard to figure out what would work best for our own body types, as well as what suits our own personal style aesthetic. I’m not sure how tall you are, but its likely going to take some experimenting to figure out what’s best for you with these longer wider/looser lengths.

I find most of these types of pants seem to work better with some type of shorter/ slimmer top. If the top is longer then I think it looks better tucked or semi tucked to elongate the leg more. Then there’s figuring out a good break for the hem length and the type of shoes/ boots silhouette and heel height so you don’t look overwhelmed or too sloppy in these pants.

ETA I’ve added a few visuals of some realistic cargo pant outfits, she’s apparently a petite. Not sure if this helps you any.

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kkards

Veteran

Lisa I’m not sure what to say here…I don’t think you look “stuck”. I think you look great…the quilted coat, 100% on trend, the cropped pants -coated 100% on trend. The hair and makeup perfect as always.

Is this on the cutting edge of trendy, no, but IMO it’s authentic and stylish, which is better. As I worked through my Jan challenge I struggled with boring and basic, especially on WFH and weekends, and just came to realize thats where I am now. And that I’m stuck in a life cycle now that my weekend wear reflects… and realizing I’m to old to change jobs but not old enough to retire…sorry to get this off topic, feel free to ignore.

LJP

Veteran

Kkards - oh I understand the life cycle issue all too well . I know we’re not supposed to use age as an excuse for anything , but realistically , who is going to hire ( in my case ) a 61 yr old ? I’m also too young ( and not independently wealthy enough ) to retire yet too old to switch jobs…..and would love to .

Dee - I’m around 5’5” . Thanks for those visuals but she’s still a lot slimmer than I am . I realize that fitted shorter tops , or boxier but still shorter tops are the key to styling the new pants silhouettes. It all looks horrible on me . ( I carry a lot of extra abdominal fat which is a health issue I know ) . Who is the woman you took screen shots of ?

Dee

Veteran

Her name is Jamie Lea Yarbrough.

Irina

Veteran

I like this look, Lisa. It feels authentic and true. Sometimes, I think one trendy element pushes an outfit into a contemporary realm. In this outfit, it’s chunky loafers. If I listened to my own advice, I would wear Tabi shoes and Row Banana bag with anything and everything while feeling cool and fab.

Most of us are having body issues at our age. I try hard to ignore mine.

And if may add - I would like to see some visuals of my age women who do not wear classic style. I mean, I understand it’s popular and almost synonymous with “a middle age woman”. But looks too predictable and boring to me. Your outfits are never that.

Sal

Veteran

A change in silhouette can be hard to incorporate especially if it's not the ones that come naturally.

If the mid section is what makes you self conscious with cargo or wider pants I think a jacket or cardigan rather than a sweater will make you feel better about the shape. It just breaks up the midline.

I like this outfit - trendy coat and footwear make it.

Kyle

Veteran

Love the kick crop flares, the shoes and the whole look with the coat, bag, etc. That color, as we have said before, is so good on you. I am getting hung up on the length of the blouse, though. I don’t love the slightly longer length with the cropped pants. I want to see something that hits mid-hipbone, I think, so it has the same saucy “attitude” as the pants, if that makes sense. I like your darker hair. It’s so pretty with your flawless complexion. I think I will like it even more when it softens just a tad.

Brooklyn

Veteran

I love this. The deep, lush palette looks sensational on you. I would personally switch the earrings for a metallic, to add in some more contrast.

As far as pants go, I like the long, oversized fits because they tend to disguise my thighs, which I am self conscious about. When I wear cropped pants, especially anything remotely fitted, all I “see” is my thighs. I think you like your legs (which is a good thing!), so you don’t feel happy when they are buried in volume, so to speak. I feel similarly when I wear volume on my arms (my favourite body part). I think what you should look for is a semi fluid fit cargo style. And not too long. More like a jogger. There are plenty of different styles to choose from. I don’t see any evidence that oversized is the “only way” to do the cargo/fluid fit trend. Make the style work for your preferences, not the other way around.

Jonesy

Veteran

It's hard...I commiserate with you about aging and body shape changes. WIWs are wacky because sometimes what I see in the picture isn't how I felt or thought I looked in an outfit, if that makes sense. It's an imperfect medium, IMHO. I also think we have it ingrained in us (as women) to always be thinking about what is "flattering," i.e., what makes us look thinner. Even though I push against it and reject it on principle--and have been drawn to loose looks that don't have much to do with making me look thinner--whenever I take a WIW pic a voice in my head notes whether or not something is "flattering." It's so ingrained that it's hard to shake! But all I can try to do is push back against that little voice :).

Re. incorporating new, looser pieces, cargos, etc.: One comment from Amy Smilovic from Tibi that has resonated with me is to pair something that's kind of "out there" or experimental (for yourself and your style) with something that is a "without fail"--something that is core to your style and makes you feel fab. That way it feels balanced and perhaps a little less like you are out on a fashion limb. I also do think that our eye can adjust to newer silhouettes and shapes with time.

LJP

Veteran

Brooklyn - smart advice , thank you .

Kyle - good point about the blouse . When I was thinner it hung better and slightly lower and probably looked better . It might work best with a straight / slim pant now . Hip length tops are still very tricky for me as I’m quite plump in the lower ab region and don’t wear anything shorter than crotch length . No way is anyone seeing that round belly !

LJP

Veteran

Jonesy - yes I know what you mean . I feel great in outfits until I see them in a photo and wonder what tricks my mind is playing . I wish I wasn’t stuck in the old mindset of wanting to look thinner and many days I don’t give in to that voice . And actually the more I ponder it the worse it gets , as is happening with this thread right now .

Sloper

Veteran

You had my at olive and quilted! A very good outfit.

I understand the frustration about wide legs - and I’ve worn them for decades. It isn’t the pants that have changed, it’s my body. The Case of the Disappearing Waist.

judy

Veteran

You and you in your outfit look fab! Love the hair color, the clothing colors...yes, carry on!

On aging bodies... I've just found there isn't really an alternative to an aging body, is there? So acceptance has been necessary! And even valuing it as the instrument it is vs the object we have been schooled to see it as.

As someone (with a young body) said to me recently (she heard it on TIK TOK, and I've probably shared it here before) "Our bodies are the least interesting thing about us!"

LJP

Veteran

Judy- you’re so right . I just want dressing to be easy and fun . Is that so much to wish for ? ?( Rhetorical question )

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I haven't read the comments yet but I love this outfit on you and I think you are hitting quite a number of the trends! For example -- the kick crop is about to have another moment. Ditto the statement earring. And always, the quilted coat!

As far as I am concerned, you are one of the YLF QUEENS of kick crops. I adore them on you. They look fantastic in every iteration. I wish I could wear them. I loved cropped wide legs and cropped slim pants but in a kick crop, all I see is my short calves and my relatively chunky thighs. You make them look cool, every time.

You look terrific with your new haircut. Love it.

And I also love that we got the description of what your friend was wearing!

Off to read what others said. So glad you had a chance to go out and have some fun!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

One more thought. I’m really feeling like now is more anything-goes in style than we’ve seen in a very long while. I like knowing what the trends are, but I’m happy to keep cultivating my own style. I think you always look current yet true to yourself!

Runcarla

Veteran

I’ve had a pair of wide legged trousers since 2019 (before I started counting wears) and I’ve worn them 8, 9, and 10 times in each of the three years since.

I wore them the other day in a strong wind and felt so silly with them blowing against my legs and out behind me! They look cool when I’m standing still and they puddle artistically - and they are comfortable travel pants (stretchy and soft like sweats) - but there are other silhouettes I like more that make me feel fab all the time.

I believe you have some great OTF full leg bottoms that you wear to work (and garner compliments.) Do you need to invest in this trend any more?

Besides, I don’t think they are practical for Canadian winters, and who wants to be that wrapped up once the weather turns nice?

I like the colour story of your outfit, and the luxe quality of the items all together.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Lisa you are so very, very relatable. I mean yes, it is hard when my body seems to have a mind of its own (ha ha?). Anyway, this is my honest reaction to your photos: hair - color has settled, you look great in the close up, outfit with quilted coat - fantastic, very current, the shoes do a lot here to make you look firmly in 2023, the cropped jeans aren't the star here, top - this is a bit boxy on you, I don't hate it but I love it less. I have been wearing gigantic jeans and loving it, but they do make me look like a balloon. I need to set up a mirror for selfies somewhere.

DonnaF

Veteran

I looked at your pics and thought, “If LISA wears kick flares, I can’t be so completely out of it if I continue to wear mine.” My non-feet vertical challenges have remained and will remain the same throughout my life so I am learning to accept them. Loose/wide legs will make short legged me look short and extra wide, and narrow pants will get hung up on my muscular calves unless they’re kick flares.

My sense is you may feel extra challenged and frustrated because you’ve been a professional in the fashion industry. I’ve been in a field where a few decades ago women were expected to look frumpy. And now that I am fast approaching age 70, I wear what I like and hope I don’t cringe when I see photos of myself.

Advice: Buy up olive green! Show off your ankles and when it’s warm enough the rest of your legs because as I recall you have nice gams.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Haha, remember that old sexist saying, the legs are the last to go?

It used to strike terror into me, because my legs were never anything great in the first place.

It's okay, though. As others have said, what's the alternative? I definitely feel and see aging-related changes, and my brow will never look like Madonna's -- but mostly I am okay with it. And on days when I'm not, I avoid all mirrors.

jussie

Veteran

Well I didn’t even know kick flares had gone out of fashion… So… umm yeh. I might not be the best person to give advice hahaha.
Ok, here’s the thing…. These full length wide pants so popular at the moment are tricky… because they necessitate a change in our tops too! The same tops often don’t seem to work as what worked before. So that’s a minefield.
One thing I did today, IDK if you like this look, but, because my jeans were wide, and I had a loose long button down shirt, it was all too loose and shapeless, so I did the old “tie a cute little knot in the bottom of the shirt trick”. See pic for an example. I’ve got to say it worked a treat. Gave some waist definition without any clinging.
As for emotional well-being, one thing I find hard is, I have to remind myself, I could have the best, most well fitting contemporary outfit on; but nothing in the world is going to make me look like a model. I will still look like me, with my flaws, so I just have to accept it. I always think people look their most beautiful when they are in motion, doing something, engaged in their environment, as a real live person, not a perfect mannequin. Sometimes that thought helps.

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April

Veteran

LJP - for what it's worth, my high school best friend is 61 and actively job-hunting. She cut the cord, since she's already announced her departure at the current employer.

A modern, stylish look such as yours is bound to counteract whatever negative thoughts hirers may have about age. Mr. A does a lot of hiring and he worries less about chronological age than about how current and "with it" a person seems. In his mind, this means no AOL email address on a resume and do not show up at your interview using a flip phone. In my mind, it means dress like this!

lyn67

Veteran

First of all, LOVE LOVE LOVE your dark hair and cut! Second, I so can relate to wanting to have fun with clothes---and agree age is not really relevant but it still can make a point- but carrying bit of abdominal fat- at any age or size can make things harder then maybe other flows.(I have many, but this one-which I have it too- is the trickiest to me:-).
Now about your outfit. I love your column of darks and olive is particularry good (not being all black+ there is texture and shine included on the puffer) and I think you have a good sense of your style- the chunky loafers and quilted coat immediatelly makes all things fab. I personally love showing off ankles so I love your 7/8 pants, too. The only thing I would change is that "one single"(haha!) blouse. Remindig again- I do have that front abdominal fat-pad, too :-(, so I never tuck in--- and have several of these kind of flowing printed bohemian blouses and...only seldom wear them nowadays no matter how tempting their camouflaging abilities are- because they now feel matronly to me. I still wear them when not requested to take off a coat/denim jacket or another layering piece (like a furry/puffer vest), etc.
For feeling more updated or fresh (ref the top part item) I now use rather a sweatshirt (not hoodied or zippered, but ideally welted, the perfect hip length and with normal shoulders, not oversized in a matching shade---my love is now is an off white with some guipure lace embelishment on shoulders and elbows(-but a decent graphic would also do a great job) and for me this one little piece it equals feeling more current and still be able to camouflaging hips.

https://www.c-and-a.com/eu/en/.....-2194705/2

Anonymous

The olive is so good with your darker hair, and you definitely look current! I'm shorter than you, but personally love the full length wider pants- cause the length balances out the width.

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