Style 101 or How do I find my look - YouLookFab Forum

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Style 101 or How do I find my look

Anna

Besides introducing myself and commenting on other posts, I haven't posted any problems/questions. This is going to be a long one. So here is my situation: I am unsure what my style is or how to find it. I want to look put together, elegant and age appropriate. The problem is I just don't know how to attempt that and I am struggling. I buy magazines and have read all sorts of books on fashion but when it comes to actually purchasing clothing I get paralyzed. I end up coming home with the occasional pair of pants and scarves, lots of scarves. Here is my background. I am just coming off a major weightloss, just over 100 pounds. In the past I dressed to not call attention to myself and had a tendency to wear things JUST BECAUSE THEY FIT. So I had a wardrobe of dark loose clothing because I though it made me look smaller. No bright colors, no patterns. I ne re even wore jewelry. No heels, just flats. Nothing wrong with flats, I love them but I am finding I love heels too. I have a long torso and no waist and short legs. I was fortunate, hardly any loose skin except for my upper arms. So I can't wear woven fabric jackets or dresses in most cases because the size that fits my torso doesn't fit my upper arms. And sleeveless is out of the question right now. I have determined that narrow leg pants with no flare at the bottom are my best bet. And I love,the look of scarves! I just have no idea about tops. I know what colors are good but how do I find what is flattering on me.? I don't feel confident enough right now to post pictures here. However I hope to soon. I am 57 and want to look modern and sophisticated, just not "mutton dressed as lamb". I am starting a new job next month and want to look GOOD! Any help would be appreciated.

Dressing

27 replies

Latest reply was from Suz

SandyG

Veteran

I'm older than you and cheering you on! Major congratulations on your accomplishments! Think fearless. What type of fun do you want to have with your new stylish wardrobe ideas? It isn't just Fit or Color for me I love the Pinterest app for the library aspect of capturing images I like or love, to peruse later and admire, fantasize or delete.

In real life I'm a lanky 5'1" who can't pull off the look of a tall 116 pound model who'd look good in anything. But inside my head I can wear anything. Go forth and have fun with figuring out what you want. Angie and all have a wealth of ideas. And clothes are SO MUCH FUN. I really hope you have a blast here

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Congratulations on your weight loss My advice would be to go slowly. Put together a few outfits & start to notice how you feel in them.
The five adjectives exercise may help (you already said you want to look put together, elegant and age appropriate).

http://youlookfab.com/2011/06/.....fine-your-
style/

http://youlookfab.com/2012/01/.....e-persona/

http://youlookfab.com/2012/01/.....y-are-not/

rachylou

Veteran

100 lbs is amazing, Anna!

With a long torso and sleeve fit issues, my first thought was actually a woven - silky peasant cut blouses, which have wider armholes, worn untucked. I knew a woman with a work uniform of these tops and slim straight trousers and she looked just fantastic, elegant and professional, every day. Actually, I had some knit tops that were blousey in a similar way and loved them to death. I'm short waisted...the reverse yet the same issue...things can look odd at my natural waist line.

I find too that neckline matters a lot: V-neck versus scoop versus crew versus collared, etc. As do the different shaped hem lines. It may be easier to go through tops in shops if you group them by these kinds of details.

My other thought was, Angie always recommends starting with a professional bra fitting. One's underpinnings effect how clothes hang tremendously.

Are there other needs you might have? Like staying warm in office a/c? This might also narrow the field.

I'm sure Angie and Suz and Aida and everybody will come along with more brilliant organized thoughts. But these are my messy ones, lol.

ETA: And oh look! I took so long to type everybody has already arrived before me! Lol!

This post has 2 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Sal

Veteran

Welcome Anna and well done!!

It must be exciting to have more clothing options but on the other hand it can be a bit daunting.

I would start slowly, maybe with a couple of pairs of good fitting pants with narrow legs. Then maybe four tops that go with them, ideally both, and maybe a jacket to go over the top. If you like scarves then a scarf or two, and a pair of lovely shoes and you have countless outfits.

Here are a couple of ideas from the blog featuring slim fit pants.

http://youlookfab.com/2014/09/.....use-white/

http://youlookfab.com/2015/09/.....ck-cobalt/

http://youlookfab.com/2015/05/.....le-straps/

Style Fan

Veteran

Congratulations Anna on the weight loss. Lots of good ideas from the others here. I would echo Rachy on the bra fitting. I don't know where you live but I have heard that Nordstroms is the place to go.
Slim fitting pants seem like a good start.
A couple of woven blouses would be very pretty. I have seen lots of peasant style blouses in stores lately.
It might be helpful to look at Angie's picks. She describes the picks and that gives you an idea of how the garment fits, etc.

Staysfit

Veteran

Welcome Anna and congratulations! I'm a huge fan of scarves and wear them year round, even in the summer, although I find a different way to tie them when it's warm out so I don't overheat. I have different fit issues than you, but I have a long torso and I tend to wear my tops untucked over whatever pants (mostly jeans) I am wearing. if a top is too short I layer a longer one underneath. I am a lover of sleeveless tops, so don't look at my posts for examples. There are more sleeveless than sleeved. I love the idea of sleeved peasant tops, asymmetric tunics and classic tunics over slim pants may also work. Another idea may be to wear a sleeved dress over pants. There are some beautiful examples on the forum and I think this is a lovely professional look. I think these looks would pair well with scarves as accessories.

I like the idea of layers, meaning a top with a topper but have found that to look overly fussy when I add a scarf. I prefer a simple solid or print top with a coordinating scarf. Eileen Fisher does layers well so you may want to look at her designs. I think people who can pull that off look wonderful. She includes scarves (which is why I thought of it.)

Anonymous

Welcome Anna and congratulations on all of your accomplishments. You are an inspiration to others.

Do you need your wardrobe in place before your new job? If you can build your wardrobe slowly, I would suggest going that approach. With a slower approach, you can better decide what suits you and what doesn't. Very much like you did with your narrow leg pants. Some times things just click and you know you are on the right path.

I also use pinterest to collect ideas. I collect every picture that piques my interest. Overtime, I start to see clear and concise patterns.

Some things for you to consider: do you seem to prefer wovens or knits; what types of necklines do you like; what colors and/or patterns do you gravitate to; will you wear toppers with it or not; what lengths work coordinate best with your slacks? Once you get a grasp of these fundamentals, you can narrow your search.

Don't worry about posting pictures. It took me years to build up the courage. It is a big, big step. In fact, it took me quite some time before I even posted comments.

Best wishes to you.

Chris987

Veteran

Hi Anna, welcome. I'm pretty new myself. Everyone who answered already offered great advice! I would also say give yourself some time and expect to make a few mistakes along the way. What I mean by mistakes is I thought I'd like that but I really don't. It can take a while to get from yes to no (and vice versa). I'm trying to change my style which is a lot like what you are trying to do. ...

To help with the $$ part of the mistakes, I do three things

1) assume there will be a few of them that I can't fix, so be ok with that

2) sometimes buy very inexpensive things to experiment with new styles.

3) make sure to keep the tags on them when I bring them home and put them in m y closet...and keep track of how long they sit there so can return them if they aren't winners.

There are all kinds of YLF members' wardrobes...some are just at the start of trying to figure it out, many of us are in transition, some are pretty steady but looking for new ideas, and some have absolutely fabulous wardrobes that offer inspiration to us all. You will fit right in!

Chris987

Veteran

Oh and one more thing...we have the guidance and support of Angie about whom I just can't say enough.

Helen11

Veteran

It's exciting, but rather daunting to be building a new wardrobe.. I second the idea of starting slowly if you can. Your scarves might be a way to add variety and colour to some basics at the start.
I am not at all organised in my wardrobe, but am inspired by the wonderful Angie and all the lovely Fabbers. Welcome!

Bonnie

Veteran

Welcome. I've been working on finding my look for a year now and because I like so many looks, I still haven't found it. I've concentrated on narrowing my color palette so I have more outfit options and finding out which styles are more flattering given my height, weight, and shape. I take photos of me in my clothes to help me understand what is working. You have joined a very knowing and caring group who will be happy to guide you.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Congratulations on the weight loss and the new job, and welcome! A lot of us are here after some weight loss, actually (me included) and many have joined after or during big life changes. So you're in great company.

You've had great advice so far about how to begin, but another point is simply to be kind to yourself. It may take a while to figure this out if you have been ignoring style for a long time. We like to imagine that great style is "effortless" but really, like most things in life, it comes with attention and self-knowledge and experimentation. It all takes time, but you will get there!

RobinF

Veteran

Congrats on the weight loss, what a wonderful accomplishment. I am also pretty new here and figuring out my style so am not a lot of help but I encourage you to keep asking questions, keep trying on new things and post when you feel ready. I have only done one picture post and I was really nervous, but everyone was kind and helpful. You can't beat this community.

Peri

Veteran

That is fantastic!

What helped me when I got here was looking at everyone's WIWs. Some I could admire but not see for me...they just didn't strike that chord or were in some way not right for my life. Others I really wanted to copy from head to toe! After awhile I started to see what I was drawn to. That doesn't mean it was easy to find it in stores! But it helped me start thinking at least.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

There has been great advise given. So I will just cheer you on. For me I started with stuff I like on other people like inspiration photos. Then I went to the thrift stores trying to recreate the looks. After that I decided what felt comfortable to me and my life. I was one of those who had that capsule thing. I did not wear anything from it. It was too restrictive for my ummmmmmmm Dramatic Flair. Don't be to hard on yourself there are no mistakes when it comes to fashion.

Anna

Thanks so much to everyone that answered! I am overwhelmed! I read thru everything and am going to document some loose "rules" for my self. I am heading off to the stores tomorrow in a pair of my new pants and will try on everything that takes my fancy. I will also be taking back some of the "what was I thinking" purchases. I have been very interested in the WIW posts and took some pictures with my phone. I will be using those for reference. I will update and and let you all know how I do. I am kind of excited now, instead of dreading it.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Welcome, Anna. A huge congrats on your tremendous weight loss achievement.

Your style journey has officially begun, and you'll move into all sorts of directions before you settle on a style. And even once you think you have it all figured out, you'll yearn for change. You'll make mistakes and that's OKAY. Learn from them and rock on. You CAN make solid progress by making more informed decisions about your style and wardrobe. Reading these posts will lay the foundations:

http://youlookfab.com/2015/11/.....e-renewal/

http://youlookfab.com/2016/01/.....ip-of-all/

First thing to do is sort out your underwear. Get a professional bra fitting right away if you haven't already done so. If you wear specs - get the best frames that you can afford asap. Then sort out your hair if you aren't happy with it.

We are here to help you every step of the way. Good luck.

Anonymous

Welcome Anna! Congratulations on your weight loss and congrats on taking the first step to honing your style, by joining YLF. There's been lots of good advice already and Angie has given you those fab links to her blog posts.

Another thing I'd like to add is that even if you don't feel comfortable posting photos on here, I have a suggestion.... go to one of your favourite stores and try on a few things that catch your eye and even a few things you may not normally even consider. Take some photos in the fitting room or back home, just for 'you' to look at and evaluate...seeing a photo of yourself in a new item of clothing or whole outfit enables you to see any proportion problems...fit problems etc

Good luck!

catgirl

Veteran

Welcome! I just want to add that reading some of Angie's posts on body type and then finding forum members similar to you in type or style can be a big source of inspiration.

kerlyn

Veteran

Welcome Anna, and congratulations on your achievements!

I'm going to second Diane's idea of taking photos of your outfits, even if they're just for you to view. I don't post my photos, but I do take some to study myself. It really helps in figuring out why an outfit may or may not work.

I've been on YLF for about a year now, and I really feel like I've learned so much and find lots of inspiration from all of these stylish members. I hope you will too!

Vix

Veteran

Hi Anna --

Another welcome/congrats! Great ideas and recommendations upthread, so I don't have too much to add.

One thing that helped me when starting to figure out my style from scratch about 10 years ago was IDing what I *didn't* like. It's good to check in with one's dislikes in case they change or modify over time, but I found ruling out some things helped me clear the way way for what I wanted to rule in.

If you find yourself liking things that seem to belong to a couple of different closets, don't worry! I covet items both staid and flashy, classic and boho, and on opposite ends of the color-color vs neutral spectrum. Over time I've realized:

* too much classic feels wrong to me
* too much boho feels wrong to me
* too much “muchness” feels wrong to me

Which led me to see that overall I like to mix classic with shiny things, classic with color, and classic with boho.

Other people like to do really different head-to-looks from day to day.

It's all good, so just try to enjoy the experimenting and not beat yourself up if you realize you don't like something you bought and wore a few times. It is definitely less painful on the wallet to experiment with secondhand items from stores or online spots (eBay, poshmark, etc).

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Congrats!
Do you have an idea of how people dress where you will be working? Is there a casual Friday, air conditioning, etc.?

It may make sense to buy enough for the first week, change it up with scarves, and then see if you hit it correctly style wise. One thing you may have noticed referenced here a lot is to shop for your real life, not your imagined one. That doesn't mean you can't have fun in real life!
If you like it, a pencil skirt can be worn with your tops and jackets as a nice change. Or dressy kicks/crops/capris -whatever the appropriate term.

Oh, sometimes sleeveless works with the right thing over it. It's easier if things have sleeves, but it can be worth it if you find the right third piece.

Good luck on the hunt!

Cococat

Veteran

Welcome Anna and congratulations on your weight loss success. I'm also 57 and like to dress in a modern way that I hope looks ageless.

Ylf has been invaluable and I also follow over 50 fashion pages on Facebook for inspiration. Creating a Pinterest inspiration board really helped me too, because it allowed me to examine the elements of outfits that resonated.

For work I have a number of simple dresses that I fall back on when I don't want to think about creating an outfit. They're all knee length or longer, flattering but not too fitted, and cover my arms. Other times I like to create with different elements, and that's where Angie's blog posts or a great outfit that someone has posted or my Pinterest board inspires me. Some are winners, some are fails....but I feel that more are winners since joining ylf.

Have fun on your journey!

Aida

Veteran

Lots of great advice already so I just wanted to say welcome, congrats on the weight loss, and definitely try to have fun with the process

Anna

I have an update: I went shopping on Saturday and had a lovely day. I tried on so many things! I took my Fashionary notebook with me and bought some pieces I needed to complete a few outfits. I got a really nice white blouse that I am thrilled with. So then I bought the same one in navy! I bought two dresses, a navy/ivory pinstriped dress(sleeveless) and a black/tan floral print wrap dress. I also purchased a navy linen boyfriend type cardigan to go with the striped dress. The wrap dress looks like it was custom made it fits so well. I got a beautiful top similar to a peasant blouse. It has a white background with a purple, pink and gray floral watercolor print. That was my favorite piece of the day. I had nothing to go with it but it was so flattering I had to have it. I came out of the dressing room wearing it to look in the 3 way mirrors. Another customer told me it looked great on me. When I left the store she was carrying the same blouse! And about an hour later at another store I found a pale gray pencil skirt that is perfect with the blouse. I bought all the tops in regular sizes but the dresses and skirt in petite. I tried everything on again when I got home and still like everything. I will live with everything for a week or so to make sure I still like it.
I want to thank everyone for their advice. It helped take the pressure off when choosing. What a difference trying on clothes because they are pretty and flattering instead of just to cover yourself. I had a super fun day. And I had chocolate for lunch!

Brin

That is so amazing! Look at the difference between your original post and your post just now -- you are feeling the excitement! And it sounds like you have found some truly inspiring garments that you will enjoy wearing day after day (though I think you are wise in your decision not to take the tags off for a week or so, so that you have the chance to reevaluate -- you've already got the shopping process down pat).

It seems to me that you have laid the groundwork -- and will be able to enjoy continuing to develop your wardrobe and your personal sense of style (yes, that means you get to do more shopping as you go ... )

Suz

(website)

Veteran

That is so exciting! Congratulations on a great shopping day! Hope we see more of your style soon.