Sona we all love you and support you! Your daughter and husband need you more than ever! Please call your doctor and therapist and ask someone to stay with you! Hopelessness is the depression, not reality. It can really distort your view. My sister talked like that a lot when she was severely depressed. Hope you can get the help you need and feel better ASAP.
XOXO lots of love and hugs,
Natalie

Sona, I hope you are not alone and that you are feeling better. Please remember that those feelings are the depression talking. You said Bebe is growing - she will hit an awkward phase and will need you so much... don't feel bad about keeping yourself under observation during these times; just think what would happen if your patients didn't come to you, right?

You are in my thoughts and prayers. We all love you here!

Dear Sona, I just saw this and I hope that you're all right and getting a good night's sleep. Things usually seem a bit better in the morning. Please don't try to go through this all by yourself; you need help. I care about you and I'm praying for you.

Thinking of you Sona!

Sona - waiting to here of you. You have people from all around the world thinking and praying for you. Hang in there

Sona, please search for a bit of strength to hang in there. You are needed by your lovely Bebe and DH. ((hugs))

Sweet Sona, I echo everyone else: I hope you were able to speak to your doctor and therapist, and that you were able to talk with hubby too. How are you feeling this morning, beautiful lady? I know it's very hard to do when you feel despaired, but please reach out to a friend, neighbour, family member or helpline when you're alone (or with Bebe) in the house. You take care of so many people all the time, and you deserve help too.

Thinking of you,

Inge
xxx

Sona, I am thinking of you and holding you close. I know how bleak this is, from experience and from watching my sister who is currently struggling. I hope you've contacted your therapist and spoken to DH. That you wrote on this forum really shows that you need and want to talk. Sending you my hopes for a better day today and some help moving forward. xx

Sona, I hope you'll chime in here soon. Imagine the globe and at so many spots on it are tiny lights - that's us thinking of you and sending you our love. And you know what - the globe glows! I hope you see it too.

It is morning here and I appear to have woken up... so that's that. I have to drop bebe off at school and I plan to come back and go back to sleep... its less dark when your eyes are closed anyway?

I did call my therapist cum psychiatrist last night: have not heard back.Hubby is busy with his research... left early...he did ask me when I would be seeing the doc again. He really does try... I can tell you that it is not easy to be in his shoes.

Thank you for caring...although I really am not so sure any of you should.

Sona, I woke up this morning and thought about you. I hope you are feeling better today! I don't think it's a coincidence that this came on after you'd been feeling physically unwell -- our bodies are remarkable, but so sensitive. I hope your husband has been looking after you and that you're able to talk to your doctor. Sending you hugs and support!

Oh wow! It's an incredible feeling to know you're on the other side just as I type

Sona, do not for a second think we should not care. How can so many of us be wrong in caring for you? Not possible.

Now, I have a question for you - is there anything we can do to make you feel better just a little bit, until you reach someone?

We just cross-posted!

Sona, sweetie, there are no "shoulds" when it comes to caring for someone in pain, especially someone as dear as you. Of course we care. And as for your husband, no, it's not easy to "be in his shoes" and share your life with someone coping with severe depression, but it's even harder being the one *with* the depression. I know because I've been in both roles. Don't worry about him, he will be fine. Give yourself as much loving care as you can. We're holding your hand.

Dearest Sona -- Of course we should care. You are SO worth that love and caring… do not ever forget that. You have been in my thoughts all morning and were the main reason I logged on here and keep checking back. I wanted to know that you were safe. Continued hugs and support.

Had to check back here first thing.

You matter Sona. We care about you so much.

In a real sense, I believe we are all one, Sona. You are a part of each of us. Sleep can be deeply healing, too.

Sona, please check in when you are good and ready. xo

Sona,I've been out town and just saw this. Just posting to say thinking of you.

Sona, I am so sorry to read all this. Of course we should care. How can we not when you are part of the sisterhood. As a doctor you know that dehydration and viruses can wreak havoc on our bodies. When you have no energy to fight the depression it can hit you hard.

Please check in when you feel up to it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sona sweetie - I just saw this and am so worried for you. Of course we absolutely care a TON about you - you are much loved. Please do not forget that.

Are you still alone? If you can't reach your therapist and you are still feeling so dark, please PLEASE call the national hotline that MaryK mentioned or 911.

I will be checking this thread frequently to see you check in when you can.

WE LOVE YOU:)

Sona, you deserve to be cared for the same way your husband and baby and patients do. That's what we are here for. Sometimes it's hard to be a caregiver that also needs to be taken care of herself.

Hugs to you - and please know you are in the thoughts and prayers of many.

Sona:

I'm traveling, so I'm slow to get on the Forum, but I wanted to let you know that my prayers and thoughts are with you. I also wanted to encourage you to ask your therapist about local support groups. You are so thoughtful to think of your husband's needs, and one of the best things for both of you is to have a support system that is both wide and deep. Sometimes a good support group can widen the safety net. An alternative would be a friend. Who in your life could you call in the middle of the night? Is there anyone that you could just drop in on? A writer I know wrote a book called "Refrigerator Rights." His main premise was that we need more people in our lives that are close enough that we'd raid their refrigerator without needing to ask --- and they could do the same in our home. It was a clever way of getting his readers to ask, "So....how close and supportive are you relationships, really?"

I have a dear friend who suffers from Fibromyalgia and deep depression. When I haven't heard from her in a while, and she doesn't respond to calls or texts, I text one line, either "Ferret," or "I'm coming in." That signals to her that I'm coming in after her in a light hearted way. Often she calls me right away, but sometimes I go in, and she's always happy to see me, even though she couldn't summon the energy to ask. I guess that makes me a terrier --- someone who'll dive into holes when needed. I have terriers in my life, too. While I don't suffer from serious depression, we all need a deeper level of friendship sometimes!

Sona, I am so proud of you for reaching out and letting us respond to let you know that you are not alone. This is not you, it is like letting a brain tumor or cancer speak for you... To your child you are everything and as a mother I know that you wouldn't want your child to say those things about themselves....You make a huge difference in this world, and YOU MATTER!!!!! Keep reaching out and don't let this disease win, you are stronger than you know... It is so hard when you are in it to see past this and remember this... Please don't let one call to a therapist be it, you need to reach out again, if not to that specific therapist for the hotline number that MaryK gave earlier... Reach a real person and make sure they know everything they need to know about how bad this is for you! don't stop unitl someone in the field hears you!!!! You are in my thoughts and my prayers!

Sona, have you explicitly told your DH how very low you are? Women are good at hiding their needs, and men can be good at not noticing. If he knows but is not able to be there for whatever reason, he needs to find a friend or family member who can be. I have been that person for a close friend. You matter in this world and needing to be supported through a dark time does not make you weak... Allowing yourself to be cared for is good. Please continue to check in or call someone. I am going to worry if you are alone...

I am trying to get in touch with Sona. I have texted and left messages at home and on her cell. She is not working today....I called there, too.

I will let you all know when I hear something.

She just texted. She is trying to get in touch with her doctor.

XXXXXX

Thanks Isabel. I am so relieved to hear this.

Thank you, Isabel.

Sona, we love you. You are an important and beautiful person and the world and your family needs you.

Thanks Isabel. This is one of those times I really think it's nice that we're have more ways to contact one another. Emails, phones...

Sona, one thing I think is hugely helpful in tough times is knowing - hearing - you are not alone in what you feel or experience. I hope you realise from this amazing group of women - who you are part of - that you are not alone in what you're experiencing.

I hope to see you here soon.

Hi Sona. Just saw your thread. Where are things at today? Did you manage to make contact with your doctor?

It makes sense that you're like an outsider looking in at yourself. Depression isn't an act of the will. It's more like getting hit in the head with a ball on the playground of life. Doesn't have anything to do with you, but human nature is such that one tries to relate it to one's self...