I am feeling kind of lost. I came home sick with GI stuff on Friday : 'everybody' had it I was told and it was nasty...anyway when you are the doctor it is kind of hard to leave so in between heaving and other fun stuff I saw my morning patients (rubbing my hands with alcohol cleaner every few minutes) and then came home. I felt better by Saturday morning.. and bebe and I went shopping for spring clothes for her as well as PJ's and underwear because she is growing like a weed.

Anyway last night as I was reading a book when I suddenly felt my hearing disappear and I could not read the words in my book. I called hubby and we were both worried about me possibly seizing. My head felt heavy. I took my night meds and hubby made sure I was asleep but he found me sleepwalking a while later muttering gibberish so he dragged me? back to bed. I still think he made that bit up...

All day today my head has felt heavy. I feel lost, desolate. I have neglected bebe all day.. left her to her own devices. Hubby is on call and in the hospital. I have become more desolate as the day has gone on, My depression coming in so fast and dark surprises me a little- I look at it as though I am an outsider and not the one experiencing the feelings, thinking the dark thoughts.

I have dark, dark thoughts. Writing them will only frighten the reader and that I cannot do neither is it my intention.

The intensity and rapidity with which I plummeted from normal mood to despair is shocking even to me.

I have followed the advice of my Guru- water, fresh fruits, chanting prayers,taking my meds on time but today nothing seems to be working.

Depression is a dark abyss and sometimes crawling into its depths.. it is hard to see the light,....any light

I have read a few posts on the regular (not off topic) forum and I have not been able to muster any useful thoughts to comment upon.I apologize for that.

My head is heavy. As is my soul.