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Readjusting my mental attitude

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

So the blog post about being size 10 and up, I need to take to heart.
Currently I'm probably in the size 12 to 14 category, as much as it pains me to admit it. I'm the size I was back in 2008.
This weekend I did a big cleanup of my bedroom & floordrobe (someone far wittier than me came up with that term here) to get a new mattress set delivered. I realized that I don't fit into at least 80% of my closet.
So I'm looking for new clothes; I keep looking at brands I used to wear but don't make my current size. Trying to grapple with the fact I'll be looking at Mango's Violetta line & ASOS Curve. It's one thing to gain weight & having to get the next size or two up, a whole 'nother thing to be sized completely out.

Dressing

34 replies

Latest reply was from judy

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

You might be sized out on the low end, but have you looked at Navabi? They say they start at a 14, but some of their items go down to a 10.

https://www.navabi.us

Jules

Veteran

My commiserations. I'm a little bigger than that and while I don't shop very trendy or high end, I definitely notice that Joe Fresh for example doesn't make their trendier stuff above size 10. Well, I had no idea Mango was available in Canada at all, or that they had a line running 10-18 - I'm in the middle of that. Interesting, thanks!

Gaylene

Veteran

Well, as the song goes "unrequited love is a bore", so I give an unladylike flip of my hand at designers who refuse to see anyone over size 8 in their vision. But, with your devotion to fashion, Anna, I can't see you happily shopping only in mass market brands. Those lines might serve for basics and essentials, but they'll end up making you feel like a kid with his/her nose pressed up against the window of the candy shop when the rest of your friends are inside having fun.

It might take some sleuthing (at which you excel!), but I think the path forward lies in finding smaller design shops, and independent designers, where customizing isn't a foreign language. I'm thinking of designers like Muriel Dombret in Ottawa who design, create, and, then customize the fit for each client. Muriel's designs might be too conservative for your taste, but you have all of the US to search for your designers.
http://ottawacitizen.com/life/.....s-of-style

The prices won't be Old Navy, but, then, you've never been a shopper who just looks at the price tag. And you can thumb your nose at those recalcitrant designers who shut the door to their shops in your face.

I also want to say, I'm sorry all this has to be happening at the same time as you have other family issues. You'll get through it eventually, but it's hard path to be on when you suspect the end won't be neat and tidy. You need fashion to be your friend, not your foe, right now.

Anonymous

1. I saved this thread for last, well, because of the title. and because I knew i would relate whatever it was.

2. Gaylene wins the comment of the day. She is absolutely right and so, so insightful.

3. I too am sorry that this is happening with all of the other s&*t going on with you right now - and all I can say is that I've been there, and in fact still am to a certain degree, and know how utterly demoralizing it can be when the one thing in life you love and know a lot about isn't making you feel good.

4. whoever created the term floordrobe gets a high five from me - and clearly has been peeking into my bedroom.

5. it comes down to "how hard do we want to work for this? " This meaning finding great clothes that fit and flatter and make us feel good. That's where I am stuck - part of me wants to say , well, it's a four letter work followed by "it" - and stop caring about clothes so much. But I know that will never happen.

Anyways - Gaylene is right - eventually, all will sort itself out, as things usually do...it's just no help in the interim. Hang in there - you have friends here

unfrumped

Veteran

I think the idea of a personal seamstress/ boutique us fab. Sure, it woulc be fewer, but better. Some kind of strategic use. What items can be support acts and found in regular retailers, and what items could be seen to order as the outfit- makers? Blouses, jackets, vests, trousers each night be found.
Another thing is that a fairly ordinary style of something-- a simple top in a conventionally flattering style- could be very striking in a special fabric, either luxe, of quirky, or unexpected, or with unusual button or trim treatments, which would never be offered at regukar retail.
Perhaps our YLF sewists could comment.

Inge

(website)

I hear you, Anna, and I completely understand as I'm in the same boat (highest weight I've ever been, and mostly size 14 now (sometimes 16), so sized out of stuff I love pretty often too). I know it's even harder for you to find what you want as your style is more avant-garde and experimental than mine.

I like what Gaylene says, it will take more time and effort, but will be worth it because you like one-of-a-kind items.

More "mainstream", in addition to Asos Curve and Violeta, I've just looked at some sites and searched for sizes 12, 14, XL... I didn't really filter on styles, brands etc. because I just wanted to see what they have in these sizes ... so you will see a lot of stuff that is definitely not you, but there are some interesting things on all these websites, so I think they are still worth checking out regularly to see what they come up with.

- All Saints
- Topshop
- Barneys
- Bergdorf Goodman
- Matches Fashion
- Neiman Marcus
- Net-a-Porter
- Shopbop
- The Corner
- Bloomingdale's
- Whistles
- Selfridges
- Saks Fifth Avenue
- The Outnet
- DKNY
- Yoox

Oh, and COS. You can't filter on sizes, but there are many styles that would fit a US size 12-14 well.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I have lived right on that cusp my whole life....literally since high school. Even when I had lost 70 pounds and was at my skinniest I was sized out of a lot of brands. Now I'm sized out of the plus size lines that worked for me when I was a little heavier. It's frustrating that this is the most common size range for American women, but it's the most under represented in manufacturing.

Inge

(website)

ETA: I'm also keeping an eye on the brands & websites I collected for Link Love last week:
http://youlookfab.com/2016/07/.....s-in-2016/

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I've been trolling through many many sites, including the ones listed in your roundup Inge.
I really don't want a whole lot as my social life isn't what it once was and the future is bleak. A few dresses for the opera, etc. probably two would suffice. I'd love something like that Coach dress I posted a while back, but haven't found anything.
Maybe a pair of jeans.
I do need more tops after the great laundry saga of summer 2016.
And a few jackets. All my leather motos are too small.
I'm honestly trying to not beat myself up over the weight, because of everything that is going on in my life. I'm still a true hourglass, just fluffier. I still have awesome legs.
DKNY fit me pretty well at this size back in 2008, hopefully fit will be similar.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Anna, I am totally on Gaylene's page with this. She hit it on the head. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this on top of other family crap. I believe Violeta etc. might be a good source for essentials and simple backbone stuff. But I just know you'll find your statement pieces elsewhere, I hope from great designers up to the challenge of creating beautiful clothes for all bodies. And DKNY is brilliant, too.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

(I missed the laundry saga. What happened?)

Anna, I've seen you recently, and you are no less stylish than before. In fact, I think you're more jolly and smiley than I have ever seen you! I LOVE THAT. Remember that style is from the inside out, and you have that covered. You have also been blessed with a positive body image. ROCK ON.

Practically, I'd like to offer an extra thumbs up for COS, Violetta, Navabi, and ordering online.

My yoga invitation is an open one, and I hope that steroid injection has kicked in. Much love to you.

Sara L.

Veteran

You've received some good advice here and I hope you find some interesting fun pieces soon. Did any of your tops survive?

Bijou

Veteran

Anna you style and wit shines through in everything that you do. YLF always.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Laundry saga: Anna was without a washer and dryer for faaaar too long, and at one point recently, she accidentally left a load of tops in the washer at the laundrymat. I guess the people there dried them for her on low, but most of it shrank. This is what I've surmised....she can fill in the specifics. Oh, and she finally has a washer and dryer....she purchased a new set back in May, finally has it installed just now!

Gigi

Veteran

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, Anna. You get such joy out of wearing clothing that really expresses your style. It must feel like starting from scratch if most of your wardrobe isn't fitting and you can't find what you need at your favorite labels.

Whatever you do find, make sure you get something that shows off those legs.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Hey Anna, I hear you I was a size 8 for most of my military career and because of the way muscle mass formed on my body. I was still considered overweight. I had to maintain that size and get measured and taped to show I had very little body fat.

Leaving the service. I gained weight went from a 8 to an 18. Where I currently am. My body does so much for me. I know you like high end items or specific looks. Have you considered having items custom made.?

My Wadrobe is expanding with them. I see a piece I like then I have it made. Well now. Just a thought. I'm sorry to hear about your laundry.

Inge

(website)

Anna, I've no doubt you'll find those pieces you mentioned above. It may take a bit longer than usual, but you'll get there (and please shout if you need help looking).
Your legs are KILLER, and so is the rest of you, really!!! (and yes, life is complicated enough already to let the extra weight get you down - *hugs*).

And oh boy, so sorry to hear about that laundry accident, grrrrmmbbl -((

Style Fan

Veteran

Anna I have always loved your style. You have a great fashion sense. I am sorry to hear about the laundry accident. How awful. You have so much to deal with right now. Clothing is such a great creative outlet and now it is causing frustration.
Lots of suggestions here. Have you considered having clothing made?

Amy

(website)

Veteran

Anna, your future is not a bleak one. It may seem that way right now, but you've got a lot of great friends (if I don't say so myself) who will be around to celebrate the good things in life and support you through the hard things. I can't tell you how grateful I've been for your friendship during these past couple of years when everything seemed terrible to me, but you and others kept me going and things look better now.

If you want a new hobby, I can teach you to sew!

Love you, girl!

rachylou

Veteran

1. I like the Navabi stuff, gosh. Good colours.

2. Whoa to the Laundry Saga! Here's one for you: my old neighbors had their laundry stuck in a machine in our communal laundry for a week! The laundry ate clothes, I swear.

3. The designer scene is DOA anyways. You know, my Nordstrom I noticed added Madewell. I think this is all wrong, especially because Madewell has a shop next door. What is the point?

4. Which, 3, is kinda interesting. Personal styling is everything now.

Diana

Veteran

I'm sorry everything seems to be hitting the fan all at once, Anna. *hugs*

I like the idea of custom or semi-custom made. I wonder if Etsy might be a good place to look for more unique stuff/statement pieces, although there is obviously a ton of stuff to wade through there.

(And I think I probably introduced the term "floordrobe" although I cannot take credit for inventing it. My friend Paula came up with it!)

Aida

Veteran

*more hugs* It sounds like you've got an idea for what would get you the furthest while life is chaotic. Love the idea to find a couple opera dresses (that might be where custom would help most) and a killer pair of jeans (because, come on). Plenty of jackets will pop up as fall stuff comes through. I'd vote maybe also look a few dressier pieces to play along with your sporty stuff. That should be enough to get you through life while life demands time away from yourself. And YES definitely show those legs off!!

Beth Ann

Veteran

Yes, it is definitely more work to create a great wardrobe over size 10. If you're trying to save money (like me) or enjoy cutting edge fashion (like you), it's even harder.

I'm longing for a jacket or to with great shaping, but also with real ease. Oh, and I'd like it for less than $150, OK?

For all these difficulties, there are bargains, and awesome garments to be had --- and Angie and the Forum are a great resource, too!

Of to check Violetta and COS........

DonnaF

Veteran

So sorry about your frustrations, Anna. You know that stress messes with hormones, right? So as long as you have all this stress in your life your body feels like it needs to hunker down and hold onto every last ounce because The Famine/Calamity/Ice Age is coming. Or just the November elections?

Your dazzling footwear and legs will have us forgetting or ignoring whatever else you're wearing or not.

BrieN

Veteran

I have so been there- a closet of clothes and nothing to wear that fits! Hoping you find some newer labels/designers that are interesting enough to earn a place in your stylish closet!

kkards

Veteran

anna, thought of you when i read this -
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08......html?_r=0
(from the article)
The New York designer Rachel Comey has licensed her patterns to McCall since 2010, where they appear under the Vogue Patterns brand. She didn’t do it for the money. “I just like the tradition of it,” Ms. Comey said. “Sewing is a great craft. It’s exciting and confidence building. I wanted to support it.”

another way to get the designer fashions you want....

rachylou

Veteran

https://carmakoma.com/en/new-in/aw16.html

I like some of the things on this site. I wonder about their quality.

And darn it, I want this Dolce Vita dress: http://www.annascholz.com/onli.....s-red.html

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I've been coming back to this thread, not really having anything to add. Now I recall some long-ago post of yours about shoes making such a difference in how you feel about an outfit. (I feel this way, too.) I think if you find some sources where you are somewhat inspired (if not moreso) and you can reliably find a good fit, your amazing shoe collection will enable you to continue putting your very individual, ahead-of-the-curve style stamp on what you wear. I'm also always admiring your sunglasses (and how gorgeous you look in them), your hair, and your makeup. Those cannot be discounted, either, in thinking about an overall style and amazing look.

rachylou

Veteran

So do I, Firecracker. I think it's because I feel a dearth of appealing high design just all together. I'm on the lookout for a brilliant find.

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