K/R, how do you decide? - YouLookFab Forum

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K/R, how do you decide?

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I'm interested in hearing how you decide to keep or return (or even purchase to begin with) and item? Case study, this blue knit tank. I bought the outfit but decided the trousers don't tickle my fancy or really work this the top for me.. The top, I'm not sure...

Eta, with a pair of blue shorts.

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31 replies

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Anonymous

I like it more with the second pair. I think I know straightaway. The things I keep just feel right, like they belong to me.

SarahD8

Veteran

Is #1 or #2 the outfit you bought?

I ADORE #2 on you, fwiw. Sort of gently retro without being costumey, if that makes sense -- which I associate with your style.

Thinking about the top in isolation, my decision making questions would be about the use case (is this work only, casual only, or crossover? What season/s might it get wear?)? What does it add to your collection of items you might wear in similar instances (do you need summer tops desperately...or like a hole in the head)? Does it actually work with the bottoms you have for those situations? And when would you choose this over another option that's already in your wardrobe?

All that said, "I'm not sure .." is usually a No for me.

Sloper

Veteran

My keep/return decision is a combination of practical and emotional factors.

I try to buy carefully in the first place, though. "Try", that is.

Buy criteria in no order:
Can I afford it.
Does it already work with other things I own (style, color, purpose).
Does it work for my body.
Will I really wear it (i.e. no buying for imaginary life).
Do I already have multiples.
And if I fall in love with the most amazing thing I'll ever see and it's the only one in my size - sometimes these criteria go out the window.

Decision to keep/return
Does it fit.
Is the quality ok.
Does it REALLY work for me and my wardrobe.
Am I just kidding myself (i.e. an emotional buy that I have to get real about.)

Admittedly this can all be very intuitive too. I don't buy many variations of a thing to try them all. I try to narrow down the purchase before I pull the buy trigger.

LaPed

Veteran

The top is beautiful, and very "you" to my eye. Agree that it plays better with the second pair of pants than the first. If you need more sleeveless summer tops, I think this is a good one!

I try to stick to a mental list when I shop, and often have a handful of potential candidates for any given item on the list. If I try one of those candidates but still find myself thinking about the other options, that's a sign that I should return it and keep looking. If there's some element that bothers me, even if the item is mostly great, I usually return it. It's not like I *need* more clothes in general, so there's not much reason to settle for things that I have reservations about. And once I've noticed a problem, it's hard to un-notice it. It's always kind of a relief to me when I realize something isn't going to work out before I've cut the tags, washed, and worn it!

rachylou

Veteran

I really like the top. If it were me, it would probably depend on what I had that went with it or what I could buy to go with it. To me the top rides high, which in turn means high-waisted bottoms to me... and a flat, featureless front. Tbh, I don’t know if the second pair of pants would qualify for my schemes.

slim cat

Veteran

The second outfit is great - keep the top, looks great on you!
For myself - it's first the color/pattern/fabric in tops ( can deal with off fit or shape ), the fit/shape in bottoms over colors or even fabrics ( very difficult to fit my slim short waisted frame ). Of course price range and practicality is ever present ( always on a budget ).
Once in a while I just fell in love with some particular item - it could be just right for me ( yay! ), or it could be for my imaginary lifestyle - total failure ( return to the store ) .

Joy

Veteran

If I know I will be still looking for a replacement for the piece under consideration, it gets returned. I also ask myself “ If I don’t have this what do I have that I could wear instead? It’s a way of decidiing if I really need something no matter how much I like it. Sometimes it helps to think of the money I would be spending going toward something wonderful.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I usually know instantly if something is a keeper. If I have to think about it too much, or convince myself...then it really isn't worth keeping.

Synne

Veteran

You do the best colour combinations! So pretty, both outfits!

Sally

Veteran

Its a pretty top and looks lovely on you.
If I love something I usually get it but I do run through my head how versatile it will be and what I will wear it with.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I think incredibly hard first before I buy it. I am mainly buying shoes online rather than clothing. Having said that the last 6 pairs of shoes I have bought online since 2018 have all been successful. It is being really strict with myself about heel height, shape, practicality and colour.
I spend a long time trawling clothing websites searching if I have a particular idea in my head and then try to shop B&M once ideas are narrowed down.
I think the second outfit shown is stunning on you here.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Pretty top — you always wear pastels so beautifully!

For me, it’s a combination of emotion and practicality. Sometimes it’s just falling in love, in a sense. Other times, it’s just knowing an item like a basic or essential will be very useful (good solid color tees, etc). But most choices involve some bit of both of those factors: I will need to have some sense of “love” in it but it also needs to feel good, not be fussy or uncomfortable, fit well (or have only minor issues that can be easily altered), go with my existing wardrobe, and fit the life I live now. If an item falls short in any of those ways, it needs to more than make up for it in others!

Irina

Veteran

This is a lovely top, looks great on you. Do you like it?

I always have a list of things I consider adding (or buying a replacement) to my wardrobe. I have it written and I edit it throughout a year. The goal is to stay on that list with my purchases. I haven’t been able to do it, yet Items on the list sometimes are clearly defined like “black, midi wool coat “, sometimes they are just a category “summer lightweight pants”. This year I started a Wish List board on Pinterest, where I pin items I consider.

Keep/Return: fist I check how new item fits, second how much I like it, third is versatility within my wardrobe. Color is not often a concern for me, I don’t buy much outside of my palette. If it’s a yes to all three, I keep it and am confident it will work well for me.
Once in a while, I find a piece that fits well, I love it but it’s not really versatile and works with only some of my clothes. I might keep it if I think it would be an interesting addition to my wardrobe. Most of my mistakes happen with this kind of things.

cat2

Veteran

The top looks great. If I have stretched on price because I think I need it for a specific outfit that doesn’t work, I will send it back. I will also send it back if, looking at my actual closet, it’s not different enough from what I already have to lend more variety, and it’s not a basic where a duplicate will get lots of wear.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What Janet said! Top is lovely on you!

For me, it's usually a quick intuitive decision based (probably) on fit, feel, and sense of how I'll wear it or how easily it will fit in). Sometimes I will keep something I'm less sure of if I'm intentionally trying a new silhouette, etc. If the fit or colour or feel or practicality are doubtful, back it goes.

Jonesy

Veteran

I buy almost everything online, so I have developed a routine. I have certain ideas in mind when I shop (e.g., is this for work? gear? what hole will it fill?), and fit is key. I've also developed more certainty about what suits me and what doesn't, as well as indicators of quality, especially regarding items for work. When I take it out of the packaging and put it on, I usually know instantly. Then I will try it in multiple combinations with other items (wearing the shoes I will wear with it), to make sure it will work with what I already have in multiple combinations. If it's quite expensive, I will try it on, set it aside, and try it on a few more times over a week or so, just to be sure.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

If it is a thrifted item that is in the keep/sell category I tend to try it on with a bunch of functionally similar things and see how I feel about it. If it is an actual returnable retail purchase I take a lot of pictures. So emotional rather than rational I would say.
Love the light blue outfit in #2.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Thank you all for sharing your process with me! It helped ground my thinking as well. I am trying NOT to use price as a factor because in the past I feel I've ended up keeping a lot of cheap stuff that cluttered up my closet.

I also am not shopping in person lately. I live in an area where a major bridge is shut down and we are essentially an island. The bridge is scheduled to be repaired by 2024. It was shut down just as the pandemic was taking hold, so quite the double whammy for our area. It used to take 10 mins to get to downtown, now it takes over an hour. And there aren't great shopping options any closer. Combined with the pandemic, it's been online shopping for me! I've sent SO MUCH back, it's been a good lesson in curation. I used to loathe returns but now it feels like a part of the shopping process.
I do like the top. I'm a crocheted and it looks like a crocheted top (it isn't, but that's ok!) And the color is nice on me. It's also a color I don't have much of (one linen tee). So it has that going for it. On the down side, I think the neckline and pattern emphasize my bust in a way I don't totally love. The clincher for me was thinking of the bottoms that I could wear it with. These blue shorts, a pair of white linen short, and wide leg cropped white jeans. I'm also looking for white swish linen trousers, which this would work with.

The outfit was the top and matching blue pants. The mauve stretchy pants were just what I happened to be wearing today. The blue pants are cute, but just a tiny bit too formal to work happily in my lifestyle, I think. They have a paperbag waist, so cute, but probably wouldn't get much exposure with my tops.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Good job getting comments on the process—I’m “hearting” this post to refer to it for the writing style.

viva

Veteran

I love the second outfit in particular. Wonderful tones and I love the crisp pants with the textured top. Lovely on you.

For me, the K/R is very instinctual and typically immediate. I just know when I put something on - this feels right or it doesn't. But sometimes I will love something but will have a nagging feeling about it, so I sleep on it and try again in the morning.

Recently I bought a white shirt from b New York and knew instantly it wasn't for me. I had also received a Scotch and Soda sweater that I loved in theory and really wanted to keep. But with the second try-on, the nagging feeling came back - it was just too long in sleeves and body to make it work, no matter how much I loved it. So back they both went.

Qi New York Tie-Sleeve High-Low Top

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SCOTCH & SODA Stretch rib-knit turtleneck

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Gigi

Veteran

Some years ago, I started a thread on this topic. The questions I use are at the top: https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....-or-return.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Gigi, I love your questions. Some of yours are very intuitive for me, and I'd totally reject the item out of hand. Others take a little more thought. Very helpful, thanks for posting!

Bijou

Veteran

If you are not keeping the pants, I would not keep the top either. That is the combination that works best to my eye. Gorgeous colour on you and cute style - but a knitted top with that neckline it is likely to feel a bit hot in high summer which is when you are likely to wear linen pants and shorts. I have this knit top and it is mainly worn in spring and autumn because although pretty, just feels too hot in true summer weather.

lyn67

Veteran

I know you are a lover of crochette items and a pro of the technique- I also love crochetted things just do not crochette/knit myself -so I see why you ordered the top- color suits you well&pattern is interesting, and the outfit in nr 2 is my fave styling!
All this beeing said, I see what do you say with the higher neckline- I hated Vnecks when younger and small busted but as I got older and bustier I started preffering a lower cut (Vneck or round) not only for aesthetics but for not being that constricted somehow, too. I don't know if that's your case-and certainly we all need higher necklines- but this is always an important point to consider when buying tops for myself.
Then, I became so picky, I am returning a lot, too--which I hate it-too- but make fewer mistakes in the long therm. You know, practice makes the master...:-)

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

My K/R process:

Am I thrilled by this item, at our first meeting? I know that the first time I put on a new item, that's the biggest 'thrill' moment I will ever have for it. I've never become more excited about a wardrobe item that I was 'eh' about at the beginning. The exciting shiny new feeling wears off over time, but if I've shopped for the authentic me, I will still have a deep love for the item until the day I wear it out.

But if the thrill isn't there from the outset, the love doesn't last.

I look at aaaaall the other clothes in my wardrobe: the pieces I love to wear and can't wait to put on, and all the other stuff that I continually shift around to get to the pieces that I love to wear and can't wait to put on. Which one is this? I usually know immediately.

Sometimes I get an item I'm super-excited about, but can't quite make work. For example, I recently thrifted a really cute BCBG swingy skirt that I get excited about just looking at. But I couldn't seem to make it work. So I tried it on with every top in my closet, until I honed in on the look I wanted. I made some outfit notes, and this skirt is ready for summer outings. I'm good with having to shift it around on the rail to get to something else, because I have a solid vision now for this skirt, and expect to wear it a lot over the summer months.

One more K/R thing is that sometimes I have to concede that despite that gorgeous color, or that wonderful style, it just isn't working for real-life, three-dimensional me. And that's okay. I recently thrifted a glorioius winter white Ann Taylor knit skirt, that ticked all the boxes, except for the most important one: I couldn't make it work in any outfit attempt. It was too big, and no amount of tucking, belting, hiking up higher on the waist, etc. could make it look right. It can't be altered, because it is one continuous knit. So I'm passing it along to my sister (who is thrilled, btw). But now I know that if I see this skirt in a smaller size on a resale site, and it's in great condition, I will pounce.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

So now let's talk about the colors of the sweater and pants - I think you absolutely glow in that second picture! I think of that blue as sort of a celestial angel-color, that you see in paintings. Even if you ultimately decide this sweater isn't for you, I think you should keep exploring these angel-colors - soft sky blues, peach-pinks, and glowing ivories.

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viva

Veteran

Just jumping back in to say how much I love those shorts. What are they?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I like the column of duck egg blue in #2.

Since you aren't keeping the pants, how about matching them with light blue jeans?

To answer your questions - what Jonesy said.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I think the top is lovely on you and when paired with the white wide legged linen trousers you mentioned I think you will feel less conscious of your bustline.

In terms of my keep and return process, I have usually thought through how an item will fit into my wardrobe pre purchase. I also refuse to try on an item outside of my budget.

So when trying on an item I will be evaluating the quality of the piece and if it feels like 'me'.

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