Thanks again for all your thoughts, ladies!
Alasse, a tucked top, pencil skirt and low heels wouldn't scream out "Look! I'm trying to be sexy!" -- so yes, I'd feel perfectly comfortable wearing it.
Here's the thing: I have no problem at all with the look of the "sexy uniform" (bodycon dress or skirt with high heels). It looks gorgeous on many women. But when I put it on the other day, I felt like I was making an obvious effort to be sexy, and that's where I have difficulty. Some women can put on the sexy uniform and OWN it. I guess I'm not one of them.
Angie, I wear pretty undies every day too (only mine don't match!) and sure, they make me feel alluring. That's not what I was getting at. No one see your underpants. Short hair and a slim black turtleneck are not, like Gaylene said, the media caricature of sexy (although they do look damn good on you). What I was trying to explain was, I don't want to look like I've tried to look sexy. If it happens, it has to look accidental. And I guess I was asking if others felt the same way, or if this is some kind of weird hang-up.
Mo, being deliberately sexy shouldn't be different, but for me, it is. It might be a hang-up.
Jules, black lace = underthings to my eye, too! Or steampunk costume.