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How Can I Reach Closet Nirvana? (A Whine: Many FULL CAPS here)

Suz

(website)

Veteran

My wardrobe is not yet where I want it to be. I am not in closet nirvana.

I seem to be a very slow learner. I'm a veteran, which tells you I've been here for a year. But today is one of those days when I feel as if I haven't learned a THING -- despite the consistently excellent instruction.

The cause of my present state of woe? Two upcoming trips...and the necessity to pack for them. I have tried my best to do a little pre-trip shopping to fill wardrobe holes, but more and more I am coming to believe that my problem isn't DRESSING so much as it is SHOPPING. I am TERRIBLE at it. I can't seem to identify holes. Everything's a hole. A big black hole! And I can't figure out what I really need or want!!!!

I buy what I THINK I need...but then it doesn't really seem to be a need after all, because I end up not really wearing it. Or the thing that seemed so great turns out to pretty good with a couple of items....but not good at all with the others I'd hoped to wear it with. Or it might work, in an ideal universe, but I'm still missing this or that other item (shoe, accessory, jacket) to pull the look together. And when I go to try to GET said item or items, it's not available.

IK wrote in her thread today that she wants a closet where everything just plays well together so she doesn't have to plan outfits. Well, I have nothing against planning, in theory, but I can't seem to do it well, so I think I need the kind of closet she wants! And I have no idea how to get it, short of picking one designer and buying up everything from that person's line every season (not even possible for me, so not worth thinking about!)

Some of this is probably pre-trip panic, but I got myself into it by trying outfits out this afternoon and coming up basically dry. I have several nice MOTG bermuda shorts outfits as per Angie's formula. These are the kinds of things I'd wear here, in my regular life...and they will do for hot days in the mountains...but of course I'll also need to layer there, and I can't easily layer over those because I don't have the right items to layer with them, and I really feel that it's going to be tough to come up with a smart, practical capsule for this Banff trip.

Not to mention the work trip that starts on Tuesday. Oh - and I don't get to go home between trips; I'm leaving directly from one trip to the next.

Thank you for listening to this tale of sartorial distress. Commiseration, suggestions, and analyses welcome.

Dressing

53 replies

Latest reply was from catgirl

Anonymous

Wow, that sounds like a packing nightmare for anyone. Big hugs.
In spite of being aware of things needed for travel capsules when shopping, it still takes me lots of trying on and hard work to get just what will work together.
I usually start with footwear, since it is the most crucial in comfort and ability to go with everything. I also take mostly black, especially bottoms, but am on the lookout for cute print skirts in polyester or silk that pack down to nothing. They work best with a black background and include other colors in the capsule (say red and turquoise). Otherwise any extra packing space is taken up with tops that can layer, from a tank or two to a cashmere sweater.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I hear you. For me, being analytical and organized helped tremendously. I made lists. I stuck to budgets. But you have to also be ready to spend the money. I was so used to my bargain mentality it was hard to just go out and buy what my heart really wanted. But I've been so happy since I did (within my planned list and budget 99% of the time).
Perhaps some of this is pre packing frustrations. It's hard to have a closet that is ready for *every* imaginable scenario you come across in life. If you can just make do on the occasional ones I think you are doing fine.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

First of all - deep breath Suz! I am sure it looks worse than it is because you are in a pre-travel panic mode. Tuesday is still 2 days away so you have plenty of time to sort everything out.
As much as you like to have a wardrobe which does not require planning you still need to plan for the trip. I am sure even Angie does this! So another deep breath and let's start.
You said you have 2 trips. I know one is to Banff but where is another one? Is it urban or country place?
I always start my planning with shoes. Did you sort this out? What are you taking? Sandals? Boots? Low-heel pumps?
After shoes are sorted out I would plan for bottoms. I think a variety of jeans, bermuda shorts and a couple of comfortable skirts should take you wherever you need to go. Add a few dresses as an easy outfit option too.
Now about layering: it is super easy to layer over bermuda shorts. I know you have denim jackets - they are natural partners with these shorts. Your raspberry one for example should work really well. I don't usually take white bottoms for traveling becasue of frequent washing but if you have a good washing option on your trip you may be able to do it.
I am trying to remember what else do you have and I really know your winter wardrobe better than your summer one. Do you want to post a list of what you have so we can help you?

Anonymous

Suz, you poor thing! You are going for a casual week in the mountains and then a work trip all in one shot? I think that kind of assignment would even give Angie packing pause; that is a Herculean task.

FWIW, I have no real working capsules in my wardrobe. At best I can eek out a few items that can be worn several ways. But things just don't play together like I planned. Shirts are too short to be worn with both skirts and jeans. Tucking looks bad when I need it to work and just when I think I have an outfit together, my DD or someone says, "Now you just need some red shoes to make that work!" (knowing full well that I don't have any red shoes). Ugh. I feel your pain, sister!

What sort of toppers do you need to layer over your Bermuda shorts, for example? I'm thinking of your red denim jacket and the ON jacket with your checked shorts. Either of these would look great with a black or white blouse(don't you have sleeveless tops in black and white?). Throw on the bright patterned scarf from MaryK for when the sun goes down and you're all set. Maybe you can switch from a sandal to a closed flat if it's chilly, too.

Gaylene

Veteran

I've used The Vivienne Files for inspiration when packing for my trips:

http://theviviennefiles.blogspot.ca

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Suz, I think you are just having pre-trip anxiety and once you start to put things together it will all fall into place. I agree with the above posters that the most important thing to consider is shoes - you want to make sure you have comfortable shoes that have all your bases covered. I think once you sort that out, picking a color scheme for your packing - maybe the shoes will lead this - will help make some sense of things. You have a lot on your mind but I am sure you will end up with a great plan - and looking fab as usual!

AJ

Veteran

Two trips back-to-back? That does sound stressful! Can you bring two suitcases, one for each trip?

Will your spring travel capsule work for the business trip?
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....sule-squee

For the other trip, I'm assuming if you are trying to layer over shorts, that it is not TOO cold. Why won't any of your existing jackets/blazers work?

I'm not sure if you will find this helpful, but I can't wait to go on a trip so that I can give this 4 X 4 capsule idea a try!
http://theviviennefiles.blogsp.....shore.html

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh, thank you, wise sisterhood of the YLF!! You are all so smart and kind.

Claire, as usual you articulated the problem exactly.

I am actually going for a MONTH in the mountains. I won a fellowship to go work on a piece of writing there. And before that, I have a week in Niagara on the Lake, a much warmer, more humid climate, and this is for my paid job.

Oh...and between one trip and the other I visit my mother, see my daughter off to camp, (I'm packing her this weekend, too; she will also be gone a month) and visit a friend for a few days in Calgary....

The good news is that both trips are to casual venues. Although I will be working, no one will expect me to wear conservative business attire. Having said that, I do want to look presentable and semi-professional.

Joy and Sveta, how clever to begin with footwear. And I feel very affirmed by your saying this because I realize I actually DID start there in my planning! I think I am pretty well sorted with that. I may change my mind about which sandal to take but I feel reasonably confident that I'll have what I need.

I also have some bottoms - the shorts, and jeans, a skirt, and a dress or two. I have a few shirts, although I fear I suffer from what Claire describes...things don't really seem to work well with more than one item.

What I really seem to lack is casual summer toppers. Yes, I have denim jackets. But my raspberry cord jacket does not work well with pants. It's too cropped and somehow doesn't look right.

Well, I guess that tells me where at least one of my holes is! But I don't have much time to do anything about it. I did go shopping for a jacket today and came up blank.

Thank you all so much. Mo, your experience is helpful; just knowing you've been through much worse is weirdly comforting (because you managed to look good despite it all!)

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Thanks for those links, AJ and Gaylene!! And Shevia, that is a good point about paying attention to the colour of the footwear and taking it as a cue....I haven't perhaps been thinking hard enough about that aspect, or maybe that's part of my problem. My footwear doesn't go with all my tops, etc.

Hmmm.

AJ - the spring capsule won't work because the climate is so different. It will be hot where I'm going for the first week. (The paid job "retreat.") Then it will be colder in the mountains; I'll be bringing long pants, too - I just mentioned the shorts because I'll have those for the daytime, when it will be much warmer.

My existing jackets don't work because either they'er either too long/ too short/ too dressy/ too warm / too light/ wrong colours for capsule....you get the idea!

AJ

Veteran

Cropped jackets with longer tops looks good with short/pants:
http://pinterest.com/pin/202802789440216497/

Anonymous

It sounds like you need some kind of fashion-forward utility jacket like Rae would have. A blazer would be too dressy and the denim jackets are too short to wear with jeans and pants.

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

oh Suz, i've had a long day and have no sensible thoughts for you at the moment. But i am sending you a big hug and calming vibes (yep, california girl born and bred

Hang in there and i'll check in tomorrow! steph

Scarlet

Veteran

I have been wearing my moss green cotton/linen army-style jacket (with zip away hood) quite a bit this cold spring/summer as a denim jacket alternative. Like this but for women
http://www.jcrew.com/mens_cate.....=GGBS00002

Or what about a short trench? Those have been easy to find lately.

Seriously, that amount of packing would buy drive me, the anti-planner, batty. I feel for you!

ETA: while I was pondering what to write, Claire said it!

Ginkgo

Veteran

Can you do a little shopping while you're visiting your friend in Calgary? Might be an excellent opportunity to pick up some summer tops or light jacket.

jenanded

Veteran

Suz, you poor thing - I am sure it will work out ok. I looked at the Vivienne files and it reminded me of a couple of other formulas wich sound boring but kind of work. Check out http://www.lizdavenport.com.au and her wardrobe in a suitcase. She suggests 4 sets of 4 piece outfits (skirt pant top jacket/shirt), colours blend, and a little different styles in each. Then add bag that will tone, high/low, or cas/work, warm/cool shoes or whatver, swimmers and it does you for all occasions for how ever many days. I dont think I ever quite got all the pieces but even a couple of 4 piecers that blended were SO versatile for travelling. Also Brenda Kinsel suggests beauty bundles - so a top/jacket something in a colour or a style, then shoes/bags/scarves/jewellery/whatever that work together. You can then keep your clothes as total basics and then jazz them up with different styles etc. It I keep the shoe bag set up pretty simples and then keep the variation with the scarves etc etc you can make a lot variations... Hope that helps-but HAVE FUN on trip... Jen

jayne

Veteran

I am feeling for you Suz. I am dreading the day I need to pack for any casual trip. My casual wardrobe gets the least attention and I wouldn't know how to manage this. I send FULL support vibes your way. Remember to learn from this and take notes in a notebook every day so you can really figure it out the real holes and what worked and what didn't. Perhaps you will get a chance to pick up hole fillers in the new env also?

Kari

Veteran

Suz, I'll try to revisit this later as your post is making me think a lot about similar times when I've had that very same feeling. A few years ago I felt like I had lots of statement pieces that didn't really work with one another - and many of them didn't work spectacularly well on me. Building a wardrobe where most items do jibe together has taken a lot of time and practice - and mistakes (learning opportunities!) It's been kind of an organic, trial-and-error process and I'll try to mull this over so I can come back to say something more coherent.

But for now I'll say that I have had this exact feeling every time I pack for a trip - I get really stressed every time I have to whittle my wardrobe down to a small capsule. I'm sure I'll leave out something important - or realize that everything I want to bring would just work if I had something else!
Generally for me, the longer the trip and the smaller the wardrobe I'm able to bring, the greater the sense of panic.
And yet on the trip itself, I realize I have brought more clothing than I actually needed, every time!

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I actually wear a black light wool jacket in the summer. If worn with light or bright colors or white, it's still summery and ads structure to your outfit and goes with everything.

I do admit to relying heavily on my black jacket for travel especially.

Gaylene

Veteran

I wouldn't worry too much about packing for your time out west. If you want to fit into the Banff scene, you'll do fine in your jeans, shorts, and shirts/T's. Bring a pair of walking shoes and a pair of sturdy sandals, along with a couple of sweaters and a jacket (preferably wind/water-resistant), and you'll look like a resident. The vibe is definitely mountain town casual, even in the evening.

What looks good in one location can sometimes look a bit off in another so you might want to wait until you get here before you start shopping for extras. For example, if it's raining, most people in Banff wear rain parkas instead of trench coats. Banff has lots of shopping at all price levels-- Gap to Gucci-- and Calgary has almost the same retail stores as Toronto. And Alberta does not have any provincial sales tax so you can save a bit of money.

Mona

Veteran

Suz, you have got some pretty good insights from other posters above. Here are links I found helpful as I was searching on internet on how to plan a travel capsule. I am going to England in September and haven't started shopping yet. Yikes!
http://www.alreadypretty.com/?s=travel+
http://www.alreadypretty.com/2.....cking.html
http://www.alreadypretty.com/2.....ively.html

Hope these help!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Thank you SO much again, one and all. I am feeling a little more optimistic in the cooler light of morning. I still think I have a few significant gaps (that I nonetheless find difficult to name or explain, even to myself, LOL!) but this is so helpful.

Jenanded, do you know that? I think on some semi-conscious level I have been trying to do more or less as you've suggested (and Angie has suggested something similar, I know, for small capsules). And it's only just this moment that I realized: DUH. It's because I just don't have those four core pieces that work together. It's not as if I don't have basics; my whole wardrobe (almost) is made of what most people would consider pretty basic stuff. But I pick it up here and there and it doesn't always work well together. Not even the black stuffs plays well together - different blacks. Hmmm. This is important to ponder for the future and a really helpful long-term insight. Thank you.

Claire and Scarlet, you are spot on about a utility jacket. That is what I was suddenly (at the last minute) hunting for yesterday. I've never needed such a thing in my life but I think it would be just the ticket now. I found a red one at the Gap but the small was not the greatest fit on me and I think the xs would be way too small in the shoulders (but they didn't have one so I couldn't test that theory.)

But Gingko and Gaylene, you are both right - I might be able to shop a little bit in Calgary or when I'm in Banff itself. Even online, if necessary!

I've been to Banff before so I know the vibe. Gear all the way, baby! And yup, I am bringing my Goretex rain coat, LOL. But I've always been one of those people who far prefers dressing a version of MY norm vs. what everyone else is wearing. I don't want to be uncomfortable (so that means going a bit more casual than I might) but nor do I want to feel like I'm in a costume, because that would be uncomfortable for me. So that means a middle ground. No, I won't be wearing heels and pearls (not that I wear those in my every day life anyway, LOL!) No, I won't be bringing along pencil skirts. But I won't be wearing a fleece hoodie (except for hiking or lounging) either.

On the cropped jackets, AJ, I know it SHOULD work, in theory. And sure, some do. And I often like the look on others. But this particular red cord denim-style jacket really really just looks weird on me with jeans. It might work for someone with different proportions better. I've tried it and tried it. The only way it works at all is with a really low contrast top and I don't happen to have anything in that general tone to wear with it. It ends right under my rid cage, is a bit boxy, and then I am short-waisted but long in the rise, so there is a very long expanse of fabric below the jacket to the pants...here's a thread where I played with this. http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....th-jackets Anyway, it really looks best with a high waisted skirt or a dress.

Thank you again, you are all super helpful. Mona, I'm off to chase your links!

ButterflyLady

(website)

Veteran

You've had brilliant advice, Suz, and I just wanted to say that I empathise! I'm still working on my 'capsule' such as it is - we've had really unseasonal weather here which is making it hard, and I can see how your trip to two different climates would make it even harder!

I have similar issues to you about body/rise length, and I've found it challenging - tops/toppers that work with pants (or skirts, I suppose, although I rarely wear them) just don't work with jeans. It's taken me until now to work this out and one of my plans for autumn/winter is to get a jeans capsule together. Enough of me (sorry!) but I just wanted to say I understand how it can look like you have lots of clothes that 'go together' but when actually on your body, they don't!

nancylee

Veteran

I also commiserate with you on having to pack for so many different trips all at once! That is a really difficult challenge.

You've received a lot of good advice here. I'll just add that when I pack for trips I usually keep it super simple. Lots of basics that play well together (I know that in itself is an issue for your current wardrobe!) and not too much of anything. In cooler weather I usually add variety with scarves, but you can do that in warmer weather with some jewelry pieces. Anyway, as important as fashion is to us YLFers I tend to focus on the enjoyment of the trip rather than wardrobe perfection. Anything fussy or in need of special care stays home...and that means a lot of my favorite pieces don't ever get to go on vacation!

Summer is a special challenge (indeed, where ARE the cute summer tops?!) since you have fewer clothing items to work with. Have you tried to find some tee-shirt dresses or simple jersey dresses like Angie featured in her blog the other week? I know packing and not shopping is your priority right now, but I'm finding that dresses are a super easy solution to warm weather dressing whatever the occasion. If the dress is simple enough you can dress it up or down with different shoes and accessories.

Sending you good packing vibes. Maybe you'll find something on the road to fill those holes! And enjoy your writing retreat .....I'm so jealous.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Suz, you already got plenty of advice but I just thought I'd add - that denim jacket you have in #13 of your jacket experiment post really looks fine with pants - I might do a different color than white under it, but that's just personal preference. Did you try that same denim jacket over your bermudas with a long top under?

Anonymous

Suz, having issues with what to bring to a trip is quite normal, I think, even for those with "perfect closets". I've been packing luggages for 5 day work trips, at least once a month, often twice a month, for about ten years. I still struggle from time to time. Some weeks I get so exhausted thinking of what to bring, that I pack exactly the same 5 outfits back to back. Some weeks I love every outfit, some weeks I just hate everything, even though I have a well pruned, versatile wardrobe. It's no closet nirvana, since it is quite formulaic, but I am quite happy with it.

Anonymous

You can do it, Suz! *waves pom-poms*

Will you have a car? Maybe you could scope out what shopping is close by now, so you'll have a plan when you get there. There might be an REI Outlet (or the Canandian equivalent) if you find you really need gear but don't want to spend much. Or do you have an outdoorsy girlfriend you could borrow some things from?

Good luck!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Texstyle - you're right - my regular denim jacket would work with pants. BUT I don't have pants for summer. I only have jeans, and I don't think I want to wear a Canadian tux, LOL! So that's part of my issue. And the raspberry cord jacket is just too short, alas. (As for the white T, I totally agree with you; I wouldn't wear it that way, and I wasn't really styling in that post; I deliberately wanted high contrast so I could see the proportions very clearly - it was an experiment to try to figure out why I find this so challenging sometimes.)

Butterfly and Zap - thank you for commiserating. It does help to know I'm not the only one who struggles with these issues.

The temperature variation doesn't help - it's going to be anywhere from 30 to 1 Centigrade!

I won't have a car, Ali. But I can easily walk from the mountain into town. I'm actually set for actual gear - I'm pretty active and have a good workout/hiking capsule to bring. So it's not the gear type stuff I lack. It's the business casual. Well, the truth is, I don't even lack that...I just lack a cohesive set of things that work with each other. I have enough individual outfits for a MOTG look at home, but to carry all those pieces with me would be impractical. It's really an issue of my things not working together, even though I try to buy very consciously with that in mind.

Nancy, I do have a couple of jersey dresses, yes. They might be too dressy (believe it or not) for what I'll be doing. I'm going to bring at least one of them, though, in case we go out for dinner in Calgary. I LB jersey dress can't be bad for that!

This is really a great learning experience now that I think about it. I'm so grateful for all your help. I have been reading the links and thinking more.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Mega hugs to you Suz - how stressful, trying to pack for two significant trips with a couple of little stops in between!

I have nothing useful to add that hasn't already been said by the other YLFers. In fact, I'm paying close attention to this thread as I am a notoriously pitiful packer. I know you will be ok - you look gorgeous in everything so if all you manage to pack is a burlap sack and your pi's, just WORK that sack honey!!!

Vix

Veteran

Hi Suz --

Great advice upthread (especially the parts about not letting pre-trip anxiety cloud your perception).

Remember that very few people could whip a minimal-but-perfect, month-long business casual + rugged sportswear capsule out of the closet -- let alone tack on clothing for an extra week in a different climate!

[I sure couldn't, and I do consider myself to *currently* have a function-focused "2 Minute Closet" full of Garanimals-esque mix and match options.]

Also remember:

1) You will have access to laundry facilities during 4 weeks, yes?

2) Writers are notoriously bad dressers (only sometimes the bad gets the soft-lens filter of "eccentric'). Apparently if we show up with our teeth in and shoes on we're exceeding many people's expectations. When you look so pulled together day after day they may think you're the ghostwriter.

Bon voyage and best wishes for an inspiring and productive trip!

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