Well folks, the title pretty much says it all. I apologize for the long whinge...

I am in a phase of wardrobe building and am finding myself frustrated with the cycle of buying and returning that I seem to be stuck in.

After several years of mostly shopping secondhand (thrift stores and Ebay) I am open to purchasing items at retail. But I find very little that appeals to me (I do not have a trendy style) and am frequently underwhelmed once I try things on. The fabric quality is poor, the cut is kludgy, or my reaction is just plain meh. Very little passes the "when would I choose this over something I already own?" test. (Maybe this is a signal that my wardrobe is actually in better shape than I think?)

Earlier this spring, I was shopping for a spring coat. I bought and returned four different coats before finally settling on a fifth -- which is an exact duplicate of my winter coat, but in a different color! This seems very emblematic of my shopping process to me! I am thrilled with the result and actually, that effort feels like it was worth it.

But more recently, I ordered about 10 pairs of pants, 9 tops, and a dress from various retailers. I am keeping...2 tops. And I just feel like: ugh.

I am shopping mostly online, partly because I am looking to build up my pants/jeans capsule, and I take petite sizes which are mostly not available in brick and mortar stores.

All the shipping and plastic packaging feels wasteful, plus the thought that the clothing I return may not ever be worn but will just get scrapped nags at me.

It's overwhelming to try to keep up with the new items that retailers are constantly introducing. And participating in that constant churn also feels wasteful. (I am buying mostly from mid-range brands like Loft and BR, not true "fast fashion," but still, after spending several years shopping mostly secondhand I'm agog at the pace at which retailers put out new items.)

Then there is the money. Because I am placing fairly large orders up front, even though I eventually get most of that money back when I make returns it feels like I am spending a lot. And that feels bad.

I am trying to simultaneously "Never Say Never" and stretch myself out of my comfort zone a bit, and be "Picky Patient and Practical" and only keep what is really right. There's a sort of friction between these goals, right? I keep finding that when I go outside my comfort zone things don't work, often for exactly the reason I expected. (That swingy knit Loft dress with the darling bird print? It has a high neckline that makes my upper body look exactly as hulking and lumpy as I thought it would.)

I realize I am talking mostly about how things FEEL here rather than about how they ARE but that is sort of the point, you know?

I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking for with this post. Perhaps a little bit of commiseration, a little bit of reassurance that it will get better, and a little bit of practical strategizing if anyone has any ideas to share.