La Ped, my thrifting has diminished too. Partly because I am in a less experimental phase now and have a very specific idea of what I’m looking for, but partly because I have also noticed that the decline in clothing quality has now trickled down to thrift stores. So it’s just not an efficient shopping strategy. (I do buy quite a bit via Ebay but there I can set my search terms very specifically!)
I like this interpretation of “leave no retail stone unturned” that La Ped and Ginger have and Angie endorsed. Turn the stone, and if there’s nothing under it for me it’s ok to mostly ignore it! (But, at the same time, be open to revisiting in the future because an excellent millipede or potato bug might appear. Did I take the metaphor too far?) I agree with Christina F. and Isabel that some of what I’m doing is figuring out which brands do and don’t work for me so hopefully this will be easier in the future.
Barbara Diane, I relate to your going in and out of frustration about online vs. b&m offerings and also to Sal’s characterization of online shopping as a mixed blessing. Cardiff girl, I can see your point about the good fortune of having a lot of choice (I am especially grateful that there is more opportunity for personal style than there was in past decades), but also share lisa p’s frustration that the offerings aren’t better. THIS IS RIDICULOUS IF I RAN THE UNIVERSE oh wait now I’m doing that thing Vix warned me about (and which I am very prone to lol).
Ginger I appreciate your endorsement of NOT lowering my expectations for items, and Angie, thanks for popping back in. I get it: Lower my expectations for the % of items that will work out, but don’t lower my expectations about the items themselves. Yes.
I went to return some things at Old Navy and Loft today, and tried on some other items in each store. Of course, many of the things I tried on did not work! Quite a large percentage were downright awful. But it was SO easy to just put them back on the rack and move on. I had an a-ha moment about how when you order something online there is this anticipation built in to the process — which is only heightened by those emails from the retailer informing you when your package has been shipped and when it is going to be delivered. So it is no wonder that this buildup of excitement leads to high expectations. I hope that now that I recognize this dynamic I can mitigate it a bit in the future.
Suz, so many good suggestions in your post. Thank you! You made me realize that I am not sure that I want to move out of my comfort zone so much as I feel like I should. And now I am questioning that sense, and maybe revising my understanding of what “never say never” means. For example, white jeans. Everyone on YLF seems to love them! And, you all look great in your white jeans. But, the idea of white jeans for my own wardrobe leaves me cold. Just no appeal, no attraction. But I feel like I should try them! Because never say never, right? But maybe, what “never say never” means is that I should leave open the possibility of changing my mind, and trying white jeans when and if I feel drawn to them in the future. I do think I have a clear sense of my style aspirations and the look I want to cultivate. I haven’t written it down though, and I think maybe I should work on that. Writing things down always clarifies my thinking, and it would also be useful to share them with you all and get feedback. So now I have another good assignment for a shopping pause.
Sterling, lisa p and Colette, I appreciate the commiseration more than you can know. I am sorry you are in this place with me but I hope some of the suggestions here have been useful to you as well.
smittie, you know what works. Go you!
Vix, YES on caring about color/style and this being a creative process/project. I relate to this so much. To paraphrase Dorothy Parker, I hate building a wardrobe, I love having built one. I hope you reach your end goal soon with a minimum of slog!
DonnaF GREAT reframing that this means I am not settling!
Kate how awesome that you have a pair of new shoes you are thrilled about and have decided to be satisfied with the rest of your summer fare. So much to admire in your approach!
cindysmith I actually would like to make some of my clothes but finding/altering the right pattern turns out to be as tricky as finding a ready made garment! I do harbor some suspicion though that the time I spend shopping would be better spent sewing....
jussie, oh yeah, I wouldn’t shop online if I had to return by post! I shudder to think....
Again, thank you all so much for reading and commenting!