Ettiquette question--using the Boost button vs. thanking in thread? - YouLookFab Forum

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Ettiquette question--using the Boost button vs. thanking in thread?

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Just curious, because as you know, I'm on here a lot, I post a lot of WIW's and K/R's, ask a lot of questions and start a lot of threads. I always read every single response and really appreciate them. I try to always click on the appropriate buttons (boost, wisdom, solution, etc). But I don't always get around to posting a followup reply thanking everyone by name who replied to my post. I know some people do like to thank everyone by name and comment back on other people's comments. I do try to respond when people ask me questions, or if something needs clarification. And I do try to post an update when I do a K/R with what I decided to do with the piece. Obviously thanking everyone in person is the nicest, but with my limited time I have to balance doing this with being able to read and respond to other people's threads and WIW's. Also sometimes if it's been a while, I'm not sure I want to forum hog and bump my old thread all the way back to the top. Does this bother you if I don't respond within the thread, or is clicking on the buttons sufficient to let you know I appreciate your response, since that's the purpose of the buttons?

General

34 replies

Latest reply was from goldenpig

Lisa

Veteran

I try to thank at least once with my WIW posts. But I don't want to bump up my posts too much so I try to limit how much I thank and only bump once, or twice tops.

I do make sure to always select a button for the comments on my posts.

I don't mind if someone doesn't thank me when I comment on their post. It can be hard to keep track of who you have and have not thanked. I do like it when someone has picked a button so I know they saw my comment.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I'm more of a button pusher lol. Seriously, though, it both takes time and uses up a lot of forum space to thank everyone after each post. Unless it's more of a question and answer, or real time conversation taking place, I feel the feedback buttons suffice personally.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

i think the buttons do the job nicely. Of course if someone has time for personal thanks, that is always lovely, too. But I certainly don't feel ignored if they don't!

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I love to answer a question with a question - in that case it's fun to start a conversation. I often do not respond to each person unless they ask a question or raise a particular point.

Amy

(website)

Veteran

I enjoy all the comments and try to acknowledge all of them by picking a button. Occasionally, I've been moved to thank each person who responds, but that only happens when I'm feeling loquacious. If someone asks a question, I do my best to answer.

I don't want to be annoying by constantly bumping my threads up to the top either, so there's a fine line to walk between being responsive to commenters and an irritating forum hog (not that I've noticed any of you choosing the latter course...it's just my personal hang-up).

HelenInCanada

Veteran

Etiquette-wise, the Boost button (or other appropriate button) is an absolute must. Taking the time to personally thank and respond to each commenter is a cut above, but I don't get offended if that doesn't happen every time. Unanswered questions do move into slightly snubby territory, though. I'd try to follow my own threads to prevent this, and slow down on posting threads if I can't find the time to answer people on my own posts! Lol. This forum is crazy-busy, so I do understand time constraints, and also the desire not to bump up the thread repeatedly, as others have mentioned.

Jonesy

Veteran

Agreeing with Helen and others that it has gotten sooo busy around here! Also agree that the buttons are a must. I never mind if someone doesn't respond directly to something I say in a reply, but I do try to at least acknowledge the replies to a WIW thread I start (hope that makes sense). But this may be because I don't start very many threads, so I have relatively more time (vs. someone who is posting every day or very close to that).

ETA: I have a 24-hour rule for my own WIW posts: I will bump and thank people for around 24 hours, then let the thread die.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

I always use the buttons throughout the post. I usually try to thank everyone once or twice (and try to space those out a little bit), then I use the buttons after that.

Anonymous

The only thing I get slightly offended by is when I ask something and it's not addressed. That goes along the lines of what Helen was saying. However, I do realize that I have very little "street cred", in spite of my heavy interaction here. I think it has to do with the fact that I barely post WIWs. I can understand why someone would not put the time and effort in responding or validating something I said, I mean, for all they know, I am a walking felony.

Other than that, I don't need to be directly thanked for anything. I think the buttons are sufficient.

HelenInCanada

Veteran

Ha - I highly doubt anyone here thinks you're a walking felony or that you lack street cred, Zapotee! You usually post helpful, honest, or entertaining responses - and your style is smashing.

Just wanted to chime in to say Jonesy's 24-hour rule makes a lot of sense!

Ana

(website)

Veteran

Lol, Zap! I doubt people don't answer because you lack "street cred." It's more likely that they just overlooked your question or something.

If people don't respond to my questions, I usually just assume they missed it somehow, or wanted to think about it and then forgot to actually type their response (I know I have composed whole e-mails in my head and then forgotten to actually type them out and send them).

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Nodding at what Ana says...I have been guilty of that many times. And Zapotee, your comments often make me think hard (a good thing) which sometimes mean I have to walk away and can't answer immediately...and then <blushin> I might forget.

Love Jonesy's 24 hour rule.

Jewell

Veteran

As others have said, I like to know that my post was read and appreciated. I don't mind if the original poster shows that appreciation with a direct thank you or by clicking one of the buttons. I will admit that I am more likely to respond to posters who show some sort of appreciation than I am to posters who give no indication whatsoever that they even read what was written back to them.

Personally, I do a combination of thank you responses and pushing buttons. And I always try to answer questions that are directed toward me. I, too, hate to bump a thread with frequent thank you replies.

Vix

Veteran

The answer to 99% of etiquette questions is, "Yes, someone will be offended or irritated if you do X." Doesn't matter what X is.

Off the top of my head YLF members have loved/disliked:

* "Week of WIWs"
* too many keep or returns in one post
* too much text
* not enough text
* bad photos
* no photos

And now apparently there are preferences over thank yous, ha ha ha!

As a very infrequent (~ 5 in 2+ years) thread starter:

* I try to thank everyone with a personal comment as well as using the buttons.

[Part of that is due to wanting to give "quieter" members attention, because I really appreciate the effort. And part of it is having a fair amount to say about whatever I posted, or I wouldn't have bothered to post it!]

*I will bump my thread up to thank people whenever/however for about a week (though I will batch replies vs doing a new post for every comment).

As a try-to-be-frequent-commenter:

* I don't need a personal comment from anyone. I don't need a "button push" from anyone. But both are appreciated (a general "thanks to all who've responded" works dandy, too!).

If I have been back-and-forth with a member due to other threads I find a button push is a nice little shorthand. If it's my first/first few times commenting on a member's thread I do find that I appreciate the extra awwwww a personal reply gives me.

[Apparently I have random biases about thank yous on here, too!]

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Thanks for starting this thread GP! Because of the time difference I often post and then only get responses some time later. I also am self-conscious about bumping up an "old" thread, but I do try to acknowledge the early responses and press the appropriate button for the later ones. I am glad to read that people consider this appropriate!

Tanya

Veteran

I also do a combination of buttons and thank you. I generally like to thank everyone who responded, not single out names, unless there is a continuing dialog between us, or an open question. I might sometimes miss someone as my internet time is very unpredictable, but I try my best. As for bumping my own threads up, I try to wait for multiple answers before responding. Usually I let the thread die after 2-3 days when there aren't any new replies that I need to thank people for.

Another little rule I have for myself is that I try to comments on at least three other people's threads before my own. It makes me feel better, especially if I have many active threads going on that need my attention.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

I sometimes have a very hard time keeping up - but I wanted to say that the buttons help a lot. I'm just as happy with a button response as a direct mention in a thread. It feels good to know that someone read my reply and that's all I need, really. I do not feel in the least bit slighted if someone doesn't write something back to whatever it was I said in their thread. The button is very handy. And even if there's no button indicator, signalling (to me) that someone at least read my response - I still feel just fine about writing something in someone's post/thread and not necessarily hearing anything back. I think that's because I have a hard time keeping up around here myself sometimes.

I'm kind of curious as to how best to reply/respond when I post the occasional thread myself. I tend to immediately respond to comments, and this results in my post being bumped and bumped and half the posts in my thread are from me! I find this kind of embarrassing...but at the same time, I'm so appreciative of the replies I get, I want to respond back right away. After a little while, I'm *terrible* at keeping up with my own post though...I just realized that I posted a question about black sandals recently and have not gone looking to see if there are more replies.

I'm pretty easy going about this stuff, but I hope I haven't offended anyone by replying like crazy to the initial replies to the occasional threads that I post, and then not being the best at checking to see if there are more replies later on. Ack!

In the meantime though, I really don't mind if there isn't a direct written response to anything I've said in someone's post, the button is nice enough, and even if there isn't a button indicator - even that's ok with me, because I know it's tough to keep up around here.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I'm embarrassed to have to ask;
but how do these buttons you are talking about work?
If you really love a thread or comment but there are no icons below the name do you press 'Report Post'.
I'm clueless I know!!

Vix

Veteran

Hi Lyn --

You only see the buttons when you start a thread (they let you give a positive "flag" to a comment you've gotten).

VChocolate, you said --

>>I tend to immediately respond to comments, and this results in my post being bumped and bumped and half the posts in my thread are from me! I find this kind of embarrassing...but at the same time, I'm so appreciative of the replies I get, I want to respond back right away.

As a reader or commenter, I have to admit I kind of loooove the immediate response to my or others' feedback; don't ever change!

I'm sure it irritates somebody somewhere, though, ha!

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Thanks everyone for the replies! I will come back later to respond in more detail.

Lyn Dodd, the buttons show up when you start a thread. After everyone's post there are buttons to select: comedy, therapy, wisdom, boost, solution. You select one and when the commenter is logged in, they can see the button.

Lyn D.

Veteran

'...immediate response' - thanks Vix!

Vix

Veteran

Ooooh, I just thought of another reason why I and others may like a personal comment vs "just" a button --

social capital aka public acknowledgement that our voice/opinion etc was valued.

Over a period of time/multiple threads, I admit sometimes it can feel a little like a booty call if a poster *ONLY* appreciates me privately. /deranged

Patty

Veteran

If I ask a question I hope to be answered--I don't know, I was brought up that way.

I don't care if I get a personal shout out for a comment but just hope to be read in a thread is all--a button is just a bonus but not necessary for me. I'd prefer to be told so if I sound whack or told off--I can only guess as to what people mean as no responses in other forums I've attended basically means no one wants to encourage your participation so you will leave---so I feel it from my experience.

I try to thank people because I am truely thankful but have few words and try to give props with buttons if not words.

I love how this place moves so fast and, to me, it doesn't matter if you keep responding and your threads or responses are at the top--it'll change in a second or two. I personally don't bring *MY* threads to the top once it's on page 2 or 3 coz I figure if it ain;t moving it's dead--no matter the time zone--which brings me back to my second point.
Call me insecure-and you'd be right--why I am here. I wish there was a cheezy smile button!

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Thank you so much for saying that Vix - because I do sometimes feel a bit silly replying and replying to people's responses on the occasional threads that I start - but I really *am* thrilled to hear from anyone who writes back that I can't help but reply...and reply

But I end up feeling a bit silly, and thinking I'm over doing it or something, so I stop..

I will try to to find a way to write reponses to people's posts in the threads that I start that doesn't mean I'm constantly writing a new post for every single response. I think maybe I need to wait a bit, and reply back when there's been three or four responses.

It is true though, that I'm so pleased to hear back that I write back right away, and again and again...and then I feel a bit silly for posting so much to my own post.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I always use the boost button and then also try to provide individual thank you's and acknowledgements in my commentary, but that's often dependent on time availability. If I find I don't have the time to say thank you and name each person, I will say a blanket "thank you everyone " instead. Not as personal I know but sometimes that's all I can manage at the time.

Anonymous

I agree with the consensus here. I do as much thanking as I have time for and always use my buttons. I usually just push the buttons after 24 hours or so.

@Vix, your "booty call" comment cracked me up! IKWYM though, it's nice to be acknowledged if you've spent some serious time helping someone with analysis on multiple occasions.

@VC, I wouldn't worry at ALL about conversing back and forth when a thread is new and active (within the first day--or longer, if it was a real fire-starter). That's why the button for a new thread says, "start a conversation"! You are a great communicator and really know how to get us thinking and talking!

Makrame

Veteran

I just think that those buttons a a stroke of genius. I have not seen anything similar on other forums I have participated in. It is nice to have a way to quietly say thank you to everyone who responded, even if I don't want to bump my post up.

christy

Veteran

Great topic and it's interesting to see everyone's responses! When I comment on a thread, especially if it's a relatively general response (i.e., what a great outfit, love that dress, really flattering, etc.), I don't expect a personal reply from the original poster. I do appreciate it when people use the buttons because that way I know that they've at least read the comment and that's thanks enough for me. Part of what's fun about the forum is the back and forth communication so if I've asked a specific question, I do check back for a response, at least for a while. But I don't get bent out of shape if I don't get one.

When I post a thread, I do my best to respond to any questions and if someone has made a comment or suggestion that I find particularly helpful I like to address it in the thread. But it's also a matter of time management for me. I don't get to spend much time on the forum and sometimes days can go by when I'm not around. I don't want to bump up my own thread more than a day or so later. Not only that, but if I thank everyone personally for their comments on my own thread, that takes away from the time I have to comment on other people's posts and then I feel like I'm not doing my part. Does that make sense? It's not that I'm ungrateful and don't appreciate the feedback - I read each and every one and appreciate them greatly even if I don't specifically reply to each one.

ramya

Veteran

From me it totally depends... if i am in office and logged in to ylf for a break .. i use buttons (which is what normally happens)... if i do have time... i reply to each comment

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