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Do you dress the way you really want to?

Anonymous

And I don't mean vis a vis environmental restrictions (job, social norms blah blah blah). Do you own the clothes you really like and want? Can you find them easily at retail? Are you projecting the image you want?

I can honestly answer "no" to these 3 questions . I've had a lot of time to waste thinking about it over the last couple of months , and it's my biggest fashion frustration . Not having access (easy) to the kinds of looks I like, not wanting to spend a lot of time on-line looking as I find it terribly tedious, and thus having a closet full of clothes which are okay, but not what I would choose if the playing field was different.

1. my mid-size Canadian city (800k population ) is very middle-of-the road. No A stores for any of the chains (BR, Aritizia etc) and none of the really interesting alternative/avant garde brands. No Zara even.
2. boutiques tend to carry all of the same brands, and they are very mainstream. Nothing off the wall. The very few in that category are really high end. Boutiques also rarely offer returns.
3. on-line shopping is tedious and frustrating and costly at times (not always free shipping and returns are dodgy) . It takes me WAY longer to find things that way, and I prefer visually scanning a store to get the lay of the land and an idea of the style message. I can hone in on what I want much faster that way.

I'm not at all the way I dress and post here on YLF, and often find myself wearing things I am aghast at . I feel that my true style is getting pushed down even deeper with each year, and that I'm just settling for what's out there.

What about you?

Dressing

102 replies

Latest reply was from Jenn

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

In general, yes. I don't always take as much care with makeup and accessories as I would in a perfect world (which would be one where those things just magically happened for me, I guess?), and not everything in my closet is perfect, but for the most part, I'm happy with what I wear on a day to day basis.

For some reason, I'm thinking about a class I took about Instagram and how often I fall off the wagon on carefully curating my feed, but how -just enamored of it- I am when I'm disciplined and stay the course. There are times I want the social validation of putting any old post out there, and there are times I want the quick boost of something new in my wardrobe. It's hard to do without those things, and it doesn't help that we're constantly changing beings, so sometimes what we even WANT to project changes from day to day.

Do you have a vision for what your ideal presentation would be?

Joyce

(website)

Lisa, it sounds like you are going through an analytical stage usually brought on by change. Many fabbers have expressed similar frustration over the years I have followed this site. I too have been doing some "deep diving" on the look I want and the reality of my closet. It begins with defining who you really are and what look you want to project, today.
It might require a lot of purging and some more mistakes but if you have answered the "who", it all might become easier. Seeking out styles on line and giving things a try, sometimes at the expense of return fees, might be part of the process when you are not finding choices close to home.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Yes, for the most part. I'd dress more the way I want to if I lived in a warmer climate. I find the rain, wind, and cold fashion-limiting, and the fussy feet too. My ideal fashion climate is Southern California. I just love Spring and Summer fashion, and wish I could wear pretty white gladiator sandals!

Do you own the clothes you really like and want? I REALLY love my wardrobe! It's manageable, practical, authentic, sparks a lot of joy, works extremely well for my lifestyle, and I don't tire of it. What else can I ask for! Perhaps my expectations are too low - after all, I'm a fashion professional. But I am 100% authentic and realistic with my style, and that's stylish in my book. I'm not trying to be something I am not for the sake of social media, appearances, this forum, or something else. What you see is what you get!

Can you find them easily at retail? YES mostly. The joys of living in the US where retail is easy and shipping is free - especially in a major city like Seattle. Canadians have my sympathy when it comes to pricey shipping. I do battle with shoes.....

Are you projecting the image you want? YES, when I get regular haircuts!!

ETA: would also prefer not to wear a mask....

Autumn Blue

Member

Hello. I have only just joined the forum and reading your post made me think I had found another me!

I live in the UK and have trouble finding clothes to even fit me, let alone find anything a bit different, unless I travel for several hours, which isn't easy in the time I have.

For example, for work, I like clothes that are well made, might follow a professional look but have something a bit different about them such as colour, and / or detailing.

The towns closest to where I live definitely don't cater for me and I feel depressed by Internet shopping because I like to touch and feel fabrics and I can never quite tell if the color is exactly right. It then gets very expensive sending things back.

I really need new work clothes at the moment (assuming that we get back face to face with people soon). My lovely clothes (that were a bit different- at least to me) have all worn out and any remaining no longer fit after having a child).

I found that I was trying to buy replacements that were all classic style which doesn't fully suit me. This is mostly because alternatives don't seem to fit or aren't the right style.

For day-to-day clothing it is also very restrictive and I find myself wearing tops which are practical but which aren't really me. I haven't seen anything that I really love though and which fits and which can put up with a hectic life with a small child. I too am therefore having to settle for what is there.

I am still trying to work out what is a slightly different look but within the restrictions of what is in the shops nearby!

I have, however, just bought a mac on Ebay that looks amazing and good quality (I hope). It is made by a brand called Hobbs. Fingers crossed it fits etc though because I obviously can't send it back. It is reversible and has red spots on navy or else navy with just red spots on the collar.

I hope that things improve and I also really hope that there are shops to go back to here soon. They were already struggling before the virus hit and many becoming solely online.

I realise I have made a pretty lengthy first post! I will also be very interested in how others find this and any tips you might have.

All the best

Claire

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Now about you, Lisa:

What do you mean by this:

"I'm not at all the way I dress and post here on YLF, and often find myself wearing things I am aghast at . I feel that my true style is getting pushed down even deeper with each year, and that I'm just settling for what's out there"

And what is your ideal presentation?

Synne

Veteran

Ah... love your way of dissecting fashion thoughts. This is very interesting and timely. First of all, to answer your questions: Partially. No. Not often.

I have some (to my taste) excellent items. But they are the impotent frosting on a limp lukewarm dish of non-existant meat and potatoes. I wish I dressed fab 80% of the time. The truth is closer to 10%... maybe even 5%. But I am improving!

As for finding clothes. Your 800k city trumf my three closest cities COMBINED. And I don't live in one of them
I do my shopping mainly online. I have also learned to visit brick-and-mortar stores in the begining of the new season to have any luck. I also thrift a lot. Or should I say, used to, on all accounts..

I am intrigued that you feel you don't project the style you want to project. I feel you are pretty cohesive and steady in your dressing. I am also curious what your wish would be?

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

Back to add that I also struggle with things not looking on my body the way I want/imagine them to, and also just straight up not being able to get certain things in my size.

HJ

What an interesting reflection...

Do you own the clothes you really like and want?

Yes, for the most part. There are some fit challenges post-baby, and some wardrobe holes that I’m seeking to fill. I struggle with anything sleeved though... For some reason shirt/dress/jacket sleeves always feel very restrictive in the shoulders for me. Like I can’t reach up, pick up my child, or drive. No idea why, maybe sizing issues?

Can you find them easily at retail?

Not in store, I live in a tiny town. I shop online and generally limit myself to ordering from retailers that have free or inexpensive shipping and returns.

Are you projecting the image you want?

At the moment no. I took a year off to be home with my baby and pretty much live in sweats and tees that are easy to nurse in and easy to launder. When I’m not limited by nursing accessibility, and I have work to go to, then yes - I do project the image I want.

DonnaF

Veteran

Interesting question. If I were taller, thinner, had longer legs, less fussy and hard to fit feet, and of course had more money, I would dress more like Dayle who was featured last December in “Arty Avant-Garde Style in NYC”. But then my life is far more casual than hers and needs to be machine washable so I think it aligns with the life I lead.

I have been happier and more satisfied after my general wardrobe grew larger and I ceased to search with specificity for items I needed or wanted. Since I know that for the next few years I can always get dressed regardless, I am more open to what the universe offers (or not).

rachylou

Veteran

There was a moment there in the early 2000s, when Marc Jacobs was doing clothes that were completely me and I had access to a master hair stylist and the economy was yet to tank - there were stores to go to. That was peak. Now, the answer is NO. I just choose from what I can get. And I’m also not that excited by what any designer is doing now when I go have a close look. Maybe I’m getting fuddy duddy, but I find the package incomplete these days.

Preppy Pear

Veteran

Yes, yes and yes, with some caveats.
I love my clothes - they are comfortable, easy to wear, and suit my climate and lifestyle. This has only been true for me in the last three years or so.
I also moved to a warmer climate which gives me a little more freedom to wear skirts, dresses and cropped pants because I run cold.

I can find what I like at retail right now - I went years without wearing skirts and dresses because midi lengths weren’t around, and now they are everywhere. Same with high waisted pants and straight legs - both are easier to find these days. Even though I live in an area saturated with retail options, I order a lot online and I do a lot of returns.

I think I project the image I want to project most of the time. My style is definitely tomboyish, casual, and simple. I do sometimes think that I could stand to be a little dressier and and a little more sophisticated- but my lifestyle doesn’t really demand it, and I feel like me in my clothes. I’m trying out how to take it up a notch but still feel authentic.

slim cat

Veteran

My wish to be more dressier and polished in appearance isn't possible right now ( or maybe it requires too much effort ). So I'm back to my very casual style with a sprinkles of one or two dressier pieces.
1. I own some of clothes I like and want.
2. I have trouble finding right things at the my level of pricing ( nothing too expensive ).
3. I'm not projecting the image I want ( sometimes I do ).
It feels like the great haircut/color and the right/interesting shoes are the most important elements of a great style right now. I hope things will change in a few months ( for the better ) and I'll find my mojo again .

Ginger

Veteran

My answers: Yes. No. And probably Yes, since it doesn't worry me much.

Yes, I own the clothes I like, but No, I don't easily find them at retail - because of three things, I think:

(1) I don't really follow trends.
(2) I shop all the time but I stick only to the colors, cuts, and items I know I like.
(3) I keep my clothes a long time; they don't really date.

How this works out is that I often don't buy a certain category. Like dresses. Dresses dominate my wardrobe and daily WIW's. But they are overwhelmingly from eShakti, small retro brands, or Amazon (!) (I plunged into summer dresses and winter knits). The last non-stretch, non-retro-brand dress I bought was from Boden, last summer. Before that it was a maxi dress from ASOS in 2016. But I'm making 2 now, and have plans for 2-4 more.

There are no skirts in my Finds that are not small retro brands or vintage. (I have some me-made that I haven't loaded into Finds.)

I don't wear pants aside from jeans or leggings.

I buy lots of tops, usually knits for winter and blouses for summer. But the cuts/shapes must work with jeans or skirts, and usually not both. I organized my sweaters that way this winter and it was very helpful.

Most of my buying is online, including jeans (because tall) and most shoes, and otherwise usually knits or semi-custom (eShakti) or true vintage (always a risk). I am most likely to buy shorts, blouses, and accessories in person. I also pursue alternative colors of pieces that I like on the reselling market, including setting up multiple eBay search alerts.

So my online shopping strategy is different. I don't care about a shop's overall aesthetic, unless it happens to be SUPER in line with my own (like Emmy Design). I navigate to dresses (or Sale) first, check it out to get a feel for the cuts and prices (sometimes close the window right there), then skirts, and then elsewhere to see if there's anything even worth considering.

I definitely couldn't have answered "Yes" to the first question 8 years ago (arbitrary number). I was working on it, but I lacked a critical mass of things that were truly right. It took time to get to where I am. I'm always tweaking what I like (I'm enjoying slightly longer skirts) and adjusting what fits best (focusing on lower heels now), which keeps me busy. And I discover, or re-discover, new sellers periodically. I enjoy shopping quite a bit. It's simply not possible for me to fit and like a wardrobe from what is readily available in person, so my strategy is different.

Preppy Pear

Veteran

Lisa, I like so many of your looks, and I’m wondering about what in your wardrobe feels the most right to you.

Anonymous

Yes and no. I'm absolutely limited by my budget, ever changing shape, climate, and availability. My warm weather work wardrobe and my gear are the strongest part. Winter clothes and casual wear are historically problematic- luckily I need less of them. Being careful about color, contrast, and pattern helps a lot- but I settle, especially when it comes to pants and shorts.

Local shopping, when open, is not great. At all. My county has only about 50k population. Outlets, consignment, and a few little hit or miss boutiques. My try to buy ratio is about 40 to 1 in store. Online shopping is better in the US, but not much is appealing to me right now.

I'd love to wear much dressier and more artistic things, like those ethereal inspirations, but it's just not my life-nor easy to find. And I wish my stupid hair would grow!

Back to you! You said you had wanted to stop shopping for a year to "reset." Did you buy things lately you don't feel good about now? Are there things in your closet that do feel right?
And, remember- it's a moving target. As soon as you think it's sorted your body, lifestyle, or trends will change!

Carla

Veteran

Let me preface my answers with the fact that I do enjoy a creative challenge and that it is my belief that anything worth having is worth working for.

Yes. I own the clothes I like and want. Especially the last 2 years. All my clothes get worn, and are loved. Some are loved more than others, but I love them all. Some I love too much (and should probably let go.)

Finding things easily at retail isn’t often the case for anything! (Try finding flour at the grocery store these days!) Some things are easier than others, but then there are HEWI’s. I’m not adverse to tinkering with a garment: hacking, adding, removing, TAILORING! Or travelling specifically to shop in a Big City (with a list!)

Yes, I believe I am projecting the image I want. I am happy in my skin and lead an active lifestyle. I have a sense of humour. I will be a 60yo at the end of the year - and it doesn’t bother me one bit! My clothes support all these things.

That said, I’m due a change in style. (Personal style isn’t static.) I was hopeing some trips planned for this year would be the catalyst and inspiration for change. The trips got cancelled, but I’m still due the change. Pondering that now...

Now, holding your feet to the fire, LisaP, how do you want to style yourself? Do you have some images you can post, or a ‘word picture’?

Staysfit

Veteran

1. Do you own the clothes you really like and want: Yes, I like the majority of my clothes. I have been weeding out the clothes I do not like, and as I have, my wardrobe has become more practical, polished and cohesive. Sometimes I want items that are impractical, that I cannot afford, or that I cannot find. The failure to obtain these “wanted” items does not leave me feeling deprived or as if my wardrobe is insufficient.

2. Can you find things easily at retail: NO. I live in a community with fewer than 40,000, and my County has fewer than 500,000 people, and one of the highest poverty levels in the state. The market for fashion is small. There are only a few small shops and our mall has few stores of interest. I do all my shopping at a few small niche boutiques, online or when I am out of town.

3. Are you projecting the image you want: I hope so! If not it has nothing to do with my wardrobe!

Sal

Veteran

Interesting thoughts - will do my best!!

Do you own the clothes you really like and want?
Yes.... I have a few pieces that I keep but don't really love, and I occasionally get a hankering for something that I do not have. But I think that would always be the case? Clothing is expensive here for decent quality so I have to prioritise. And I am not a perfectionist - so once I have a "navy sweater" or "pair of white sneakers" I accept that is my piece and stop looking until that item wears out. I don't keep looking for the perfect piece. I try not to buy unless I think it is right - but of course I make mistakes too.

Can you find them easily at retail?
This is the question I find intriguing because the answer is yes. My city has about 120,000 with lots in the nearby smaller towns. I buy mostly in store with some online, and some holiday or day trip shopping. But I could honestly find gorgeous things for me in my city from a range of international and local labels, for edgy, classic, boho or sporty styles, from shoes to bags to activewear to evening attire to jeans.... Hamilton is a successful thriving city - but not a cool destination shopping city. I don't know if my expectations are lower, or whether the US and Canada just have different shopping and retail models.

Are you projecting the image you want?

In the most part. I mostly feel happy with my clothes. I can feel disappointed that my hair and grooming can be a bit lazy. I am a Gemini and I do like to have a few images and personas - competent business owner, fun fashionable friend, sporty person on the go...... and I think I look those things whilst being myself.

kellygirl

Veteran

I can answer yes to all three but I think it's because my fashion expectations align with job, climate, budget, figure and sense of style. I'm all about casual, wash and wear and comfort--not necessarily in that order. Growing up, I've never really had to dress up--the expectation was just to be neat and clean. I feel like that's ingrained in to what I think of as style--probably why I'm so easy to please! I like to blend in so I usually find what I'm looking for a mid level price brick and mortar stores and am willing to stalk (because I'm patient and a common size.) As far as projecting an image--I aim for competent and I think I've got that down for the most part but some of that could be attributed to age and RBF. I do struggle with non-work wear--dressy occasions and weekend attire. I can dress up but hate feeling over dressed so i tend to error on the casual side. As for weekends, I tend to underdress by miles unless I have plans.

I think I used to buy clothes for my imaginary life but YLF has curbed that tendency significantly. I wear pretty much everything I buy--although I'm sure there are a few guilty exceptions...

ETA: I tend to on line shop and will suffer order/return to get the sizing right. Not a big in person shopper--I rarely find things in store and find the choices to overwhelming. I need to look, evaluate, put it in my cart and mull it over some more... Also very fortunate to be able to find things I like in my size.

cindysmith

Veteran

Absolutely. I can't afford Rick Owen's, Isabel Benenato, Margiela, Helmut Lang, and all the other RATE and edgy brands I lust after. I've settled into a sort of "good enough" wardrobe. There are pieces I love, but not enough of them to make for a cohesive "hungover rockstar in Paris" wardrobe like I really want. Unless I wake up tomorrow with millions of dollars in my bank account, I don't know what the answer is for me.

Anonymous

I love reading all of your thoughts! A few of my own for now: I didn't word a few things very well: of course it's me you see here on my outfit posts . I choose my clothes and no one forces them on me.

It's not meant to be a complaint - I have tons of clothes and some very nice things. I am more curious whether what I feel about how I dress and shop is in sync with what others here experience. Putting things in paper or on a screen is a good way to sort out one's thoughts - and that's what I'm doing here. It's also hard to articulate some of this without sounding critical of the way someone else might dress, or without sounding like an insufferable clothing snob.

I suppose how we feel about the way we dress has more to do with how we feel about ourselves, period.

More comments on each of your replies shortly !

Helena

Veteran

Lisa, this is a really interesting question and I'm looking forward to hearing your flesh out your thoughts a bit further.

For me, yes I do wear the clothes that I want, but they are only a sub-set of what I would want in a perfect sartorial world. I'm limited by budget, lifestyle, and willingness to put the work in, frankly ... as well as this God-forsaken weather!

Another thing I've been feeling lately though is, how do I want to dress when no one is looking and there's little to no context ... because right now there isn't; not even regular trips to do errands or grab coffee. It's interesting to note what I'm choosing when it's just for me and how it's different from my 'usual'.

Great thread and following with interest!

CarolS

Veteran

Interesting questions, Lisa.

Do you own the clothes you really like and want?

Yes and no. A few of the work clothes I bought for work this spring really do fall into the category of things I want and like -- wide leg pants, long cardigans, even a teeny touch of colour.

No because most of the clothes to which I aspire don't fit me. And I want to be able to wear shoes I can't wear.

There's a gaping hole in my casual wear/lounge wear capsule. I have gear or work clothes. I don't have great jeans outfits or work at home outfits. I'd like some more colourful tops in particular right now!

Can you find them easily at retail?

I'm a challenging fit, so finding any clothes at retail is challenging. I'm going to HAVE to drop weight if I have any hope of successfully navigating a world where most clothes shopping happens online. I can't count on myself to package things up to send back, so I figure I need to become easier to fit!

If I was an easier fit, I don't think I'd have a lot of trouble finding at least some of what I want at retail. I don't aspire to fancy labels but I do sometimes wish I had access to a few more "cool" things.

Finding cute shoes that work for me is almost impossible. Would love to have access to more selection.

Are you projecting the image you want?

To some extent I am because my image isn't just about clothes. It's how I carry myself. It's how I pull together the pieces I CAN wear -- what I do with what I have. I don't put myself together the same way anyone else does.

I'd like to project confidence, intelligence, creativity, playfulness, easy elegance (but not preciousness), and a wee bit of rocker chick edge from time to time. I never really want to look made up or like I'm trying too hard.

Teresa

Wow, this is food for thought.

Do I own the clothes that I want? Mostly. I have a yen for more dramatic style persona than I can comfortably manifest in my circle of friends and my ultra casual Pacific NW life. I can’t justify spending on items that get a couple of wears a year. In general, though, I’m able to pursue my style formula of classic with a twist in a number of retailers in my city, chains, boutiques, and Nordstrom.

Can I find them easily at retail? Mostly. Shoes are tough due to super low volume feet, and shoes are my absolute favorite way to add interest, detail and color to an outfit. But clothes are pretty easy to find and fit, except for the high rise trend—it’s just not working for my body.

Am I projecting the image I want? Mostly, yes. My work capsule is basic, tailored, classic. I dress well, if plainly, for infrequent in person client meetings, with good quality tailored clothes elevated by accessories. Otherwise, everyday life is mainly a walking lifestyle, so my outfits start from my comfortable shoes and move upward, generally fairly casual.

I had a year where I went almost exclusively neutral in colors, it felt California cool and more edgy—ultimately it bored me, though, and I went back to incorporating more color for the happy factor in my wardrobe.

Covid dressing has been freeing in some ways. I actually spend more time thinking about wearing my casual clothes in different combinations and incorporating color to make me happy. I have a sweatshirt capsule, and that just cracks me up. I spend a fair amount of time in gear doing various forms of exercise.

Thanks for asking the questions, and making me think!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Yes, yes and yes. YLF has really helped me to temper my buying to things that I think *extremely* hard about, also because I have tracked what I wear every day for 4 years now, which is even pre-YLF. I don’t feel that wearing some random purchase that I like just briefly would make me happy. Of course I could buy more pretty things easily and hardly wear them but overall that would just make me feel shallow and wasteful. So the work I’ve put in on fashion personas, my favoured styles etc etc has really paid off. I own very little that I want to ditch, and the items I am considering editing out will have hopefully proven themselves over at least 30 wears to be acceptable but perhaps not my favourites.
I live in New Zealand’s biggest city of over a million people and have heaps of choice, also several national outlet stores in my area with well-priced high quality items- or at least I think they seem good quality on the whole, they seem to last well.
I think I project the image I want? I am not trying to look younger (not dyeing my hair, no Botox, no fillers) or particularly to look slimmer because I won’t put in the effort required to do that. I try to eat reasonably healthily but still like some ice cream, chocolate and alcohol at times, and only do moderate walking for exercise. I am 59 years old and not afraid to look it, even although at times I wish of course that I could look like, and weigh, what I did in my 20s.
Otherwise I perceive I would just have so much dissatisfaction it would make me extremely unhappy. I already get dissatisfied quite easily so try to moderate it and be reasonably content. This doesn’t always work but mostly it does, and thinking of myself as the “Sassy Shoemaker’s Elf” gives me a little secret pleasure in the vicissitudes of life, even in the current very difficult world situation. I guess I feel a bit fatalistic about life ATM.

rachylou

Veteran

I suppose I should say tho that when I came to YLF that was post that peak and after wardrobe calamity. From that low point, I’ve gotten my closet under control and feel my style is more consistent and true... it’s that the resources aren’t as good as they once were in the geography of my life...

Suz

(website)

Veteran

So interesting. If I'm not mistaken, you often feel this way, Lisa, especially at the change of the spring season. And I can absolutely understand it. I do think the retail options are quite limited in Canada's mid-sized cities, and yours might be more so than some others due to the demographic and the weather. A place that switches almost literally from knee-deep snow to summer clothing is bound to be sartorially difficult for merchants and for shoppers!!!

Do you own the clothes you really like and want?

Well, for the most part, yes. I want clothes that are comfortable, in colours that make me happy, and that see me through a variety of events/ roles. Unitl YLF, I was a horrible shopper, and had barely anything that worked for me. Had barely anything, period!! But since joining almost a decade ago, I've built a wardrobe that does the job. Does it lack for certain things that might be nice? Yeah, probably. But I can get dressed for any occasion without a major freak-out (something I could not say, pre-YLF.)

In an ideal world, my style would be dressier, a bit more dramatic. But at the moment, I'm all about what feels good.

Can you find them easily at retail?

That depends what you mean. If you mean can I walk into a store and find what I want off the rack without needing alterations -- no. But it was ever thus, for me. I have become a pretty good online shopper and between "in store" and online can usually manage. This year, I haven't shopped for much besides a pair of white wide leg jeans and some sandals. So online did the trick.

I benefit a lot from Angie's and the forum's recommendations (including yours!) When someone here reviews an item and says why it works, it can help me enormously!!

Are you projecting the image you want?

To a degree. At the moment, I'm not thinking about an "image" at all. I'm thinking about personal comfort! And happiness (read, colour). I have no idea how others see me at the moment. What others???

In my regular life I want to present an image of an active, creative, yet practical and down-to-earth human being who enjoys fashion and likes to keep current. That's who I am. Oh, somedays I might want to be an elegant dramatic, and others I might long to be a RATE rocker --- but it ain't me, babe, so I have to come back to who I really am.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Intriguing!
Answering your questions:
I am overall happy with my clothes, but am constantly reconsidering my wardrobe and do sometimes long to just find the thing I want rather than culling from the things available from the second hand market. I live in a smallish town but am close to many good second hand stores and charity shops. (Tel Aviv is very close, but actually the second hand market is more expensive and picked over there.) If I lived in NYC (pre-corona) I could literally spend 40 hours a week shopping second hand. Probably just as well I don't.

Am I projecting the image I want? You mean in the mirror, right ? For me pleasing myself is primary, all good things in the world come from my own projection of confidence.

Question for you: What do you want to project and how is it different than what you see in your mirror/photos?

Brooklyn

Veteran

Do you own the clothes you really like and want?

Yes and no. I’m largely happy with my cool weather wardrobe but summer is always a struggle for me. My vision of a perfect summer wardrobe unfortunately relies on living in a less hot climate. I think I will never achieve summer wardrobe satisfaction (which is a first world problem of course).

Can you find what you want easily at retail?

No.
* Like Canada the Australian market can be pretty homogeneous at times. There are of course downsides to retailers like Zara, but the arrival of the international retailers here made the local retailers significantly improve their game in terms of variety. (I can remember when Australian retail was a sea of black, white and grey.) Competition has upsides. I am very envious of the variety that’s available in the US.
*Online ordering here is generally not a “free delivery free return” experience.
*Organic fabrics are really hard to find.
*Colours (especially my colours) are hard to find. Retailers play it safe and go neutral.
*I’m a tough fit, especially for jeans and dresses.
*I often get an idea about what I’d like to be wearing and it’s not out there. It can become a little obsessive. I should really learn how to sew.

Up until last year I used to spend way too much time browsing to track down what I wanted. I realised this was becoming too time consuming/wasting so I’ve got it under control now.

Am I projecting the image I want?

Yes and no. Yes in cool weather. I always feel like myself in boots. But less so in summer. The heat and humidity conspire against me.

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