I've started a reply on this thread multiple times only to be interrupted. ( Does anyone else's DH point out things that they should be doing when they are on the computer?!).
I've given up ruffles and tiers on skirts, shiny lip gloss and any sort of glittery makeup, short skirts, shorts that are shorter than just above the knee, racer back tops and spaghetti straps, and more as too "cute" or juvenile. I know a couple of women who look young until you see their faces. Then they look shockingly old....older than they are because of the contrast. They have teen daughters and probably shop where they do. The fact that they have youthful figures and long blond hair just intensifies their aging.
Now to go back to read more replies.

I am laughing so hard right now!!! Betty Davis, crypt keeper, and Cher not looking human. I absolutely love this thread!!

I'm laughing too but part of me feels that this is an important issue; one that separates us as women.

It seems like as we age we are dammed if we do & we are dammed if we don't.

Someone has a facelift that works & the media use her as an unrealistic role model for aging women. Someone has one (or more) that doesn't work & we laugh at her & bemoan her lack of self-acceptance. Someone "lets herself go" & she is ridiculed. Someone doesn't & she is trying too hard. Someone wears cute clothes & she is mutton.....it just goes on.

Just my thoughts as a 60+ woman.

Gaylene, I agree that "cute" should not be dismissed, and far from me to do so, but I just felt that while this was a look that worked for me before, as of late, it has started to work... against me. I still like the look on others. But am shocked at the realization that it is now something to be avoided!

Goldenpig, I had your problem all my life! I have always been mistaken for much younger than my age, I was asked for id buying alcohol (here the legal age is 18) well into my late thirties. And then it changed. Very suddenly! But it's not all that bad, actually, I'm glad I am not mistaken for what I am not all the time, and finally given the respect I deserve. Because a lot of being mistaken for a youth meant being treated more like a child, and I hated that!

You always look so sophisticated and polished on your WIW's. I love your wardrobe, including the whimsical, unique accessories, which I don't view as aging cuteness at all. Thank you for your thread, most interesting!

Alaskagirl, that is one smart observation. Yes, as a petite woman with a round face, it's true that on me RATE tends to look too cute and not forward enough. So I guess the answer would be to minimize accessories if you don't want to cute factor?

Deborah, good point. It is very difficult to define "cute". My bad for attempting a gross list!

Teri and Rute, that is smart.

Suz, thanks for the precision and the links! Going to try it out myself now! I had totally missed that on the forum.

Vix, what an amazing style you've got! And you illustrate what Deborah was point out: that my attempt at a list was a mistake. You do ruffles with such refinement. I love your long skirt. With the boots. And the ring! You pull it off so gracefully. I am inspired.

bj1111 I am reading that thread right away.

Claudia, you made me laugh. Very good images.

dstalksalot, I remember that sweater! I like these two outfits and do not think they look "cute" in a bad way at all. I like the shoes echoing your sweater's loop in the first one, and I find the second one actually a little rebellious with the boots. Love it!

Tina, this is a good observation: are animal themes "cute" by nature? I don't think so. I think you can wear animal inspiration without any cuteness involved. Especially regarding the items you describe.

Rachylou, I would love to see you in that dress! It's hard for me to imagine, unless it was worn with a bit of anti-cute mutinous vibe. But if you do long with hem ruffles on a petite, yes, you will get a somewhat too much look. Like too cute, or too feminine...
You also raise a good question: how to look your age from behind? I wonder what an appropriate behind would be for a 44 yr old ?

JAileen, it is interesting that for you, growing you natural hair colour is a way of being your age from behind.

CocoLion, you look so good! It's true that your body is young looking, which many women want. You are so lucky.

Cheryl, I ask myself the same question now. I will have to be precise when I use this adjective. I am sure your comments were all taken well though.

Joy, yes! It has been happening a lot during the Holidays, mainly because of different schedules. Very frustrating I agree. You bring up an interesting point of view. Does blond hair and thin figures work against one when one ages?

Caro, I could not agree more. So true!!!

I hear you, Caro. You bring up some very good points. There's a certain amount of "you can't win" going on for aging women. But I don't think women (scratch that, I mean *people*) who age naturally are subject to ridicule in the way that we ridicule those who muck around with their faces. Certainly people in the media spotlight who "let their weight go" are ridiculed, and that makes me sad and angry, but those who simply look older aren't. Are they? Maybe I'm missing something.

Mind you, in Cher's case, I think she's OK with a bit of ridicule, or at least notoriety, because look at some of the stuff she's said, done and worn. She does seem like quite a nice woman, actually, but there's no question she has a basketful of psychological issues, and unfortunately she's had enough money to take them out on her face -- which of course makes it all very public.

All I know, and I can write it with absolute certainty: I could NEVER take the public scrutiny and uncensored commentary based on one's physical appearance that being a celebrity or public figure entails -- especially as a female, of any age or at any level of attractiveness or unattractiveness.

Suz, I just did the Kibbe test http://seasonalcolor.yuku.com/.....Odq6W_BGnZ and am so confused! I go 6 a's and 5 b's. My style is not mentioned. A is dramatic while B is natural. How can one be dramatic natural???

Hah, Krish, I did it too and got 7 a and 6 b and 3 c. No idea what to make of that!

Wow, this has been an interesting enough beach reading thread that I had to log in.

I've never been "cute" -- at least not since before puberty. I grew to 5'7" and gained womanly curves from age 13-14 that made me look *older* than my age (which had certain advantages while in my teens, but those evaporate quickly, right when one turns 21 ;-). I wonder if my natural style inclination was always to avoid the "cute" because it just didn't play well with my body type. My personality is also not *cute* -- I laugh but I'm not giggly, have a sense of humor but I'm not particularly silly, I have a deeper than average voice for a woman, etc. I had a job once in which a boss encouraged me to be "bubbly" -- I am sooooo not bubbly! And "cute" and "bubbly" fall into the same territory for me. Even as a child, I never loved details like hearts or bows.

However. I do sometimes wear graphic tees, funky hats, etc., and my husband tells me I look "cute" when I wear my Cons. But I feel like a little whimsy goes a very, very long way for me. As I approach 50, that will probably be even more true.

Bottom line, I think most of what qualifies as "cute" is best left to the very young, or maybe the very old. But a lot depends on body type and personality.

I don't know too much about people dressing "cute" when they are older, but I just wanted to share that I recently had a very elegant older patient (I think she was in her 80's) who wore a burgundy tailored blazer, black pencil skirt, pumps and a frilly/lacy blouse. I would have thought she looked "adorable" or "polished" but the same type of a look on someone who was younger might have been "cute" - I guess there is a negative connotation to mutton dressed as lamb, but I think older ladies can have the same look in an appropriate way.

Now, wearing a t-shirt with a "cute" cartoon on it is totally different - I feel somedays I can't get away with my cartoon t-shirts anymore. *sigh*

Kibbe's terminology is super confusing. Sometimes it's hard to know how to answer correctly. It can also be difficult to be objective about ourselves. I had to do the test a bunch of time (looking in the mirror and comparing my image to some of his archetypal celebrities -- on that site you can find them, e.g. Liza Minelli is one of the gamine types, Jackie Kennedy is Dramatic Classic, etc.) Not that I look exactly like the celeb of my category (to say the least) but somehow, looking at the samples helped me "get" what he was really asking in some of those questions.

Anyway, I did the test a bunch of times over a few weeks, and eventually started getting a consistent picture (even if I answered specific questions a bit differently over time.) It might help to do that.

Caro, once you "accept" that women can do no right in their choices it's terribly fun to tick people off by being wrong.

Though I still grouse that Tomboy Style [young girl imitating boy style or unisex kid style] is almost always considered cooler than Girlie Style.

And wow, this thread has taken many an entertaining turn, ha!

Thank you for raising the spectre of Baby Jane, Claudia. I'm sure I'll sleep well tonight.

Claudia, Goldenpig, Dstalksalot and Krishnidoux -- Thanks for the kind words re my ruffles etc. I try to keep an eye on things because one minute it's ladylike this that or the other and the next it's...the below.

Dstalksalot -- I'm so glad you loved photo 2. That's a custom jersey dress I had made up recently and I was waffling over an oversized lapel for the neckline and something more drapey. The dressmaker came up with the ranunculus-like neckline and I had to go for it (even if it is a little Georgia O'Keefe-y!).

I don't post a ton of WIW shots on YLF -- and they're all headless -- but they should turn up in a search if needed. It might be easier to check out this blog post with an overview of my style complete with lots of photos and deep links here:

http://buildingacolorfullife.w.....-personas/

Elisabeth -- I was so, so lucky to take my vacation in Vancouver this summer. I stayed in a rental condo and had an AMAZING week with stunning weather. My camera was constantly in hand. That shot is from Stanley Park . Didn't get up to Burnaby, but did do the Grouse Grind. [Ok, that part of the trip was less amazing!]

Vix, count me as another who admires your ruffles and thinks them not in the least "cute." (But who is also feeling a bit uneasy about a certain cloche with a flower on it that she owns...blushing...)

Krish, I just found this on that other site; it might be more helpful in finding the broad category: http://seasonalcolor.yuku.com/.....Oeq36Vh538

Thanks Suz, that is really helpful!