I am really through trying to pull off any sort of cute as well. When I look back on last years spring/summer outfits, a lot of them look cute, as in "too perky" for my age. It's hard to put my finger on the offending item, too. Was it my too-short bob? The line of the pleated or trumpet skirt? The preppy color combination? Dorky shoes? I'd like to achieve a more subtle, subdued and sophisticated look, and I think I might have to stop worrying about it "aging" me and just go for it.

Donna, chuckling here. I was thinking about dots with great guilt, too. I still love them...but I think they are classic enough to escape the cute if they are not overdone.

Claire, I hear what you are saying. And understand what you mean. It is SO tricky, isn't it?

I do think in general cute accessories work much better on the very young. But for every rule there is an exception and the cuteness of the accessory depends also on how it is used and the overall look of the person wearing it.

Ugh oh.....I think I may be treading on thin ice with my style direction. I must be borderline too cute....38 and lean toward the puff cap sleeves, black and white dots, pink and ruffles. I love the vintage look and the romantic looks.....maybe I need to rethink my choices. ( I just bought a cute cotton yellow summer dress with large white dots and puff sleeves)

Per Merriam-Webster

Definition of CUTE

: attractive or pretty especially in a childish, youthful, or delicate way

Again, a definition is confusing me. Are we speaking of cute in a 'too young for our age' way? Reading the thoughts posted, it appears there are various definitions of 'cute'. @dstalksalot, without seing the yellow dress on you, I cannot tell if it is too young for you. Semantics, it sure confuses the issue.

Wow! A LOT happened here today on this thread. I had an unexpectedly busy day away from the computer, please excuse my silence up to now.

Mo, you bring up a good point: what is cute? Eyelet ruffles? All-over pink and butterfly prints, as Day Vies describes? I ditched good and well-fitting clothes that I thought of too young, especially dresses. But now I am finding even the cute "detail" ages me!

Crazyone, you describe very well a situation I often see happening around me and I always wonder how the poor woman doesn't realize the clash her demise produces, bringing attention to her age in a bad way. It's easy to pick out when the "cuteness" factor is duplicated and exaggerated. But it makes me afraid of inadvertently doing it myself with one accessory.

Rachylou, I'm with you. But at the same time a part of me is vain, and wants to think I still look "young" and "fresh". However, I don't want to be perceived as "novice".

Kristin, I am surprised that even at your age there are things you may feel are "too young"! It didn't cross my mind when I was your age - then again, maybe it should have!

Missvee, that is precisely my questioning now. I have a few accessories with "cuter" details, but when I wear them now they make me look... either like a young granny or a very old "passed-her-prime" girl. For example, a mohair flapper hat with a knit flower on the side. Even worn with grown up coats, the hat is really all you see...

Cheryl, yes, what makes you feel good is probably the best thing!

Elisabeth, you bring up such a good point about being small and the "dangers" of cuteness. Me too, am petite and also have a body that, from the back, looks like a teenager's. Many times I've seen the surprise in the face of people who'd seen me from the back first, then saw my face as I turned around. Yes, men or guys who were confused (and probably turned off) but also very often people who thought I was someone else, people who thought I was a student when I was the teacher, or people who thought I was the girlfriend when I am the mother! (Walking with my son). But I'm not bothered by this aspect. I guess in my case, I am specifically aware and afraid of frontal cuteness indulgence.

Ironkurtin, as much as I have a deep respect and admiration for HC, I abhor her headbands and that look on general in grown women!!! I remember in the 80's it was big. A kind of preppy-snobby-old fortune trend... yuk! Called a "serre-tête" in French (head-squeezer). Silly. No. The headband, definitively something not to be worn once your age stops ending in "teen".

Glory, I do have a teenage son, no daughters, you bring up a good point. I don't know how it would be if I had a daughter. You must be ultra aware of it all the time.

Day Vies, I am so glad you have given up unicorn and butterfly prints, rainbows and bedazzles, because your style right now is simply amazing and to dye for. But you do bring up an interesting point: is "cuteness" a sign of someone dressing up as they are not?
Hmm... never thought of it this way.

Nieferen, I know exactly what you mean! For me it was my waist, I loved to define it with large belts and maxi skirts, a look I would never do now.

Gaylene, so true about elders! Between the ages of roughly 27 to 36, I lived in a city of retires. Shopping, I would avoid all that was pastel, as it was obviously geared at another age group. As a result even now I would have a hard time wearing pastel. And whiter-than-white nurse shoes.

You bring up a new point: there is a void for women between 35-45 in fashion. It's a weird age for our society it seems. Yummy-momies, cougars, soccer-moms, muttons, are words that come to mind for this age-group and most are not flattering.

I agree that Angie's tasteful and forward style is an answer to this vacuum.

Deb, good point. What is "cute"? I was not necessarily thinking of little girl's frills. Decorative flowers, or ruffles, lace or some garnish sometimes lead to "cute"-ning the outfit.

Suz, pardon my utter ignorance, who is Kibbe? What you cite seems very interesting. I happen to be a gamine type. You are so right about petite women encouraged to be "cute". It certainly was my case as a younger woman, as a default. Cute was always the easy, safe way to go. In my twenties, I even always had a kin of newsboy cap that I would wear sideways, an instant cutifyer for any given get-up. And now, the same type of accessory would make me look less like Gavroche's sister and more like... his homeless grand-mother! My face is not "cute" like it was - and I'm glad! - but at the same time I relied so much on it that now I am lost. Angie's sleek, boyish look doesn't work that well on my either because my body is too curvy. And I agree with you, Nicole sure does "cute" like nobody!

R&J: I don't think you should give up cap sleeves forever!

Caro, good for you!

Nicoleb, you certainly can not only pull-off, but proudly model the gamine, cute style! You are an inspiration.

DonnaF, it is interesting that you feel your face is too round for a "sophisticated" look. I wonder why? And I don't immediately associate polka dots with cute, unless they are paired with something else that is cute. So I think you are fine on that front.

Clearyclaire, I hear you! Not that I found any of your looks being "too cute" but I also understand how one can feel this way looking back at pics. I have been surprised to discover that more "sophisticated" looks have been working well for me this year, whereas I know they would have looked artificially old and conservative on me a few years back. So I encourage you to try!

Shevia, very wise. I am just surprised that one accessory had a particular flattering effect before, and now, the same thing only emphasizes my wrinkles.

Sometimes I find outfits here on this forum very "cute". I admire them as such, and want to emulate them. But from now on I'll be more careful when I qualify an outfit, because I am realizing that "cute" can not always be a compliment!

Deb, yes, totally true. What are we talking about here exactly?

I think dstalksalot gives a good image of it.
Here is my attempt:
Puff sleeves, ruffles, some pinks, lace, lace details, flower accessories, knit flowers, interesting lady-like hats, Peter-Pan collars ("cols Claudine" in French), flat mary-janes, short socks in heeled shoe or sandal.

Anything else?

@dctalksalot, I'm not so sure you can't pull off that look. Thirty-eight is a far cry from 48, after all. Don't despair! And like Suz said, cute really suits some people and if you like it, there is nothing wrong with it!

I'm thinking that physical appearance, personality, culture, and location might all have a role in whether or not an older woman ought to try to look "cute". And, although the "cute" aesthetic doesn't appeal to me, that's not much of a reason to dismiss its appeal to others, regardless of their age.

As Suz pointed out, it's probably much easier for a petite woman with a youngish looking face and bubbly personality to carry off "cuteness" than it would be for a taller, more angular woman. But, I suspect that even a more angular older woman in Japan might be still be able to wear "cute" clothing and accessories without being thought strange or unusual. The Japanese aesthetic of cuteness definitely has its adherents in many other cultures, as well as being embraced by many western designers. Given its global spread, we shouldn't be too quick to dismiss the appeal of "cute" to many people, regardless of their age.

Maybe I need to think about why I have such a poisoned eye for women who enjoy working with an element of "cute" in their style. A dose of "Hello Kitty" might be just the thing to add an element of fun to that austere black suit that hangs in my closet

Krish, I am right behind you (39) and I struggle with the cute factor too but I think maybe in the opposite fashion--I really love cute and whimsical but I worry that it makes me look too young. I have always been told I look "so young" or "too young to be a doctor" so I'm always trying to look older and more sophisticated and polished. And yet I still have a Kate Spade butterfly necklace and orange slice bag and Tory Burch heart print dress...I can't seem to escape my love of cute/whimsy! I love Hello Kitty and Gama-Go and Paul Frank and would wear those T-shirts for MOTG if they still fit me! I wonder if I'm going to wake up at a certain point (40?) and suddenly want to look younger! Kinda scared of that!

Here was a thread from earlier this year where I was exploring a similar issue, how styling makes you look older or younger, and the cute factor definitely made me look younger:
http://goldenpig.lookfab.com/p.....of-styling

This is interesting... I'm not sure I ever did or wanted to dress cute, but I have certainly been subjected to that adjective when younger and well, cuter. I think the key to NicoleB's looks and others who do this well is the sense of insouciance and a bit of RATE - studs, leather, rips and tears, chunky shoes - something to bring a little grrl to the girl factor.

Cute is not something I have ever aspired to and I guess I haven't given it a great deal of thought...until now. Like Deb I took a moment to look up the dictionary defintion of cute. Firstly, I think a person can look cute irrespective of what they are wearing. Secondly looking at your list just above Krish, depending on the woman and her "look" you could get the following rather than cute...

Mary Janes - retro
Mary Janes with socks - edgy
Knit flowers - bohemian

Etc.

I can think of a number of woman on the forum of varying ages who I might consider cute but the cuteness is more about their facial features than how they dress.

I agree. Feel I've matured (in a good way) past "cute"...I prefer looking confident, comfortable and at ease with myself. I do like to add "joyful" elements to my look, but cute is done for!

of course! Now we don't want cutness but simple and elegant pieces!

Krish, David Kibbe was an 80s fashion guru a few of us have talked a bit about over the past year: http://www.amazon.com/David-Ki.....0689118473

I haven't read his book but I have done the self-test here http://seasonalcolor.yuku.com/.....ObnsaVh538 and read some of the material and discussion on that site and a few others, including 12 Blueprints: http://12blueprints.com/the-so.....er-part-1/ (and further)

Sveta happened upon it last year and identified herself as a Soft Dramatic, which seems to fit.

I did the test a bunch of times. I was expecting to come out as one of his 3 gamine types. But I didn't. Again and again I tested as what he calls a Dramatic Classic.

From the little I know, what I like about Kibbe and think helpful is his emphasis on line, and on the relationship between facial features/ face shape/ bone structure and personal style. In another thread last night Deborah talked about style being "inherent." This would be consistent with that idea. At any rate, some elements of style may be inherent.

Another one who does this in a different way is Carol Tuttle (Dressing Your Truth) but she is insensitive to colour and line and more aware of personal energy as expressed (to a degree) in one's features.

It's all sort of complicated....but I wouldn't doubt that Kibbe might have some good suggestions about the KIND of detailing that might work to raise sophistication for someone who is gamine. You could figure out which category of gamine you fall into, and then go from there. Some of what he says needs to be translated into contemporary idiom because the styles he is talking about date from the 80s. You sort of have to use your imagination for that.

Hi Krishnidoux---

Lots of interesting discussion on your thread!

I'd SAY at this point (40s) I dress more womanly than girlish/cute (no one would confuse me with Zooey Deschanel or the Lolita styled folks)...

...and I feel a lot of my clothing looks are fairly severe (see the left side of photo 3)...

but after reading I'm so busted for having many a cute element in my closet, ha!

And I'm ok with that -- AKA if coveting Goldenpig's orange slice purse is wrong than I don't want to be right. Besides, if people get a shock when I turn around I do know CPR.

Since examples brought the truth home, see below for my closet confession.

It's my love of ruffles and vintage-inspired hats that are to blame. [The hat examples have a flower or bow on the side that I'd prefer gone but can bear.] We'll see if I evolve out of them. I *have* given up eyelet!

i think, as with all style types, you have to own it to wear it well. cf stevie nicks.

i read the figure flattery thread immediately before this one...i can see similarities between the two issues.

This has been a great conversation.

LOL @ Vix.

Vix, there is "cute," and then there is "cute." The photos of your sophisticated and lady like ruffles, for example, and then Little Bo Beep ruffles. Same with headbands, there is Suri Cruise in one, and then Jackie O in a headband.

You just know when it's all too wrong. I mean who could ever forget Bette Davis in "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" Now that's all kinds of wrong.

GREAT visual, Claudia!! Whoa.

Totally agreed!

Second the great visual, Claudia!

I agree with Claudia! I think Vix's looks are sophisticated and retro ladylike, I wouldn't label them as cutesy at all. I would love to dress like her. I differentiate between girlish ruffles and ladylike ruffles, for example. It's all in the placement and styling. Scary pic, Claudia!

And then there's kitschy cute, like my Ninja Kitty shirt, or the Jason Wu cat tee that I posted in my earlier link.
http://goldenpig.lookfab.com/p.....-fairyland
What about all those cute graphic tees? I think Rae has a few that she wears. And if you are into Japanese stuff, there is all kinds of cuteness to pick from. Does anybody else wear cute graphic tees or are they verboten at a certain age (and have I already reached that age?).

say what you like about baby jane...she had style fidelity.

Thanks to the individuals who commented on my plight. I am new here and have very few WIW photos....but will work on some...and double check for too cuteness.

I greatly appreciating this topic.

Vix....I am in love with your looks. I want to marry pics one and two. I should look at more of your clothing pics for inspiration.

So many interesting thoughts here, loved this discussion.

When I quantify my style, cute is the last thing that springs to mind for me. But when I ponder individual pieces in my wardrobe there are indeed things that one would view as cute or even precious. Ugh. And that is so not me. I do juxtapose them purposely with more simple or masculine elements to tone it down though.

Thinking about it now, all these items have a similar theme for me, animals. I have some crazy attraction to them. I posted a couple weeks ago my spider web shoes. I also have a cat print clutch, a sequined polar bear sweater, and a snail print blouse. Among others. Laughing at myself for even admitting this.

Vix -- of the pictures you posted -- is pic 3 taken up at Burnaby Mountain Park, near Simon Fraser University? I recognize it.

Sorry for the brief hijack, Krish.

I wore this old dress yesterday. I will have to show it to y'all. It made me wonder if it was too young. It's this Little House on the Prairie kind of deal, plaid with a ruffled hem. Dark blue. It is, in fact, too old for a young person because it's rather low cut (I don't remember it being so low!). Still, I'm thinking maybe it's a *donate.*

I do think it's the ruffled hem that's the problem, but I find it really hard to say "that's it." Because, for example, I believe a pair of spiky cat woman half boots would "age" the dress.

Also, it's a possibility it's not that it's *too young* but that it's *too feminine.* Or maybe that's the definition of too young: All bows and flounces and frills and fuzzy kittens.

Last but not least, I've been thinking about that feeling of horror you get when you think someone is a cute 20 from behind, and they turn around and it's the Portrait of Dorian Grey. How can you advertise the right age from behind? And how come Cher, who is no spring chicken, never looks like mutton in her skinnies and long hair?

Cher never looks mutton because she no longer actually looks human. You can only inject and lift so many times before you start to resemble the aliens from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

I do not want the disconnect between my backside and my frontside. My hair color is really nice - light brown with almost blondish highlights. It is my own color - I bought and paid for it. But at my advanced age ( really, some of you are killing me with your comments of your advanced age when I could be your mother) I have decided to go with my natural color, whatever it is now - who knows. Although I don't look really really old yet, I don't want to have this color years from now when I start to look like the crypt keeper.

I'm also noticing I get lots of compliments from old ladies - in their 80s. I guess this means I dress too old. I am trying to add more modern elements to my wardrobe - such as unexpected color, yet avoiding too much youth. It's hard, though.

Two issues have been brought up -- cute when you are getting older, and the MDAL front-back disconnect.

I have never done the cute look mostly because my face is angular (even though I am on the short side of average). Cute doesn't really work on me.

However I am so guilty of the front-back disconnect because first I like trendy clothing which is associated / more socially permitted on young people. Second, I have a young body and this is a family trait -- we stay young from the neck down but our faces age due to Scottish-Irish skin. So in part, I cannot help it.

I love what Vix said -- "if people get a shock when I turn around I do know CPR."

Suz, thanks for the mention.

I am now wondering if when I comment on a thread that to me somone looks adorable, if they find that offensive, lol. Is cute/adorable the same thing? I totally always mean it as a compliment.