bumping by thanking - YouLookFab Forum

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bumping by thanking

Adelfa

Veteran

This is a forum etiquette question that I have wanted to ask for a long time. I just read a thread where this very issue was touched on in the comments, so here goes.

When I post, I have always been very careful not to respond to commenters too much because I thought people would think I was just bumping my post. Recently however in more than one post/comment, Angie has said that she thinks it's very good manners to respond to each commenter individually, so I've started to do that more--I *do not* want to be rude to my commenters!

And then, in this thread I just mentioned, a commenter said that people don't like it when someone bumps their own post repeatedly by thanking everyone. I totally see the point.

I guess I'm okay with either. If someone wants to acknowledge a comment just by awarding a point, that's fine with me. But if someone wants to respond specifically to a comment, that can be fun too.

What say you?

General

37 replies

Latest reply was from Marley

Debbie

Veteran

I try to give every comment a badge. I don't individually response to each because I don't want to bump the thread too often. I will be interested in the opinions on this.

cciele

Veteran

Hm, I'm interested too. When I have a chance I like to respond to everyone, but sometimes I don't have time until several hours (or days) later. Then it looks like I am bumping up my post.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I do the same as Debbie, and hope that everyone who comments on my original post understands that I do indeed read and appreciate their input!

Sometimes I will respond if I need to answer a question posed in the thread, even if it's a couple of days later and the question slipped past me.

FlorenceFearne

I'm also OK with either. But I will say that one of the things that drew me specifically to YLF is the interaction, and the give-and-take between posters and commenters. Not only does it build community, but it helps me learn what type of feedback is helpful, and what isn't. A simple thank you goes a long way toward making me feel comfortable about commenting next time. And if I'm more comfortable commenting then I will feel better about commenting on things that are further outside my own little style bubble. Assuming that holds true for anyone else, I think we all benefit indirectly by getting a wider range of feedback.

Plus, if the original poster feels in any way unclear, or hurt, or anything of that sort, I'd hate to imagine they're just sitting feeling sad, when maybe a reply back to the commenter could lead to a clarification like, "no, no, I meant the PANTS are huge - not your butt!"

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I always give a badge but try to respond to several responders at a time. That way I answer every comment & don't bump too many times

Anonymous

I really appreciate every comment and respond if the thread is still active and on the first page or there are questions . Otherwise I give badges so as not to bump it back up. I'm interested also in what others think on this topic.

abc

Veteran

What caro said

Anonymous

I have never seen an issue with this. My take is that we all seem to be able to handle our own threads well. I don't think there is a spoken ( or unspoken) protocol. It is not the end of the world if one feels they should bump a thread out of page 3 to thank someone. Let's don't get too hung up in protocols. This is supposed to be an enjoyable activity for everyone, me thinks. There is enough "air time" for everyone.

Adelfa

Veteran

Hi Zap, I generally agree with you here. That said, I started this thread because a fabber had an issue. Since it touched on something I'd often wondered, I thought I'd throw it open. I hope it's not getting hung up to try to find out if the issue is widespread or not. Thank you for your thoughts!

ManidipaM

Veteran

Same thoughts as cciele.

Beth Ann

Veteran

I think it depends on the thread. If it's a WIW, I'll generally award badges when I see their posts and respond to several at a time. I'll respond directly when someone asks a question OR when someone clearly puts a significant amount of time into a particularly detailed reply.

I bumped my own thread three times today with a simple "Ask Angie" about the Blondo boots. Not a very interesting thread, I might add, but I was looking for detailed, real-time responses.

I think the most important rule of community is to make deposits as well as withdrawals. Or, to put it another way, people who are active on other fabber's threads are likely to be more active on their own. It all levels out in the end.

Gaylene

Veteran

I'm with Zap in thinking that trying to set hard and fast rules about responding to comments would really limit the interactive nature of this site. I think that anyone who was abusing this freedom would soon be "handled" by other members (in a nice way, of course!) Personally, I like it when people respond--it makes the forum seem more like a conversation than a soapbox.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I use badges and will sometimes bump with a blanket thank you to all responders. When specific questions are asked, I respond in kind.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I might bump my own thread once if it's a WIW but otherwise will thank others via badges. If the thread has a more engaging topic, I might bump more often. I bumped my thread on the Modesty Project more because I wanted to thank as well as address other comments, and I also simply had more ideas and things to say about this topic in general.

lyn67

Veteran

Yes, I was not bumping too much with thankings if my thread was getting older than 1 or 2 days for this reason as well. But always try to thank via badgets.

anne

Veteran

I am a bit conscious of the bumping issue living in Australia. If I post before I go to bed it will be hours until Iget back to it. I even bump my own messages occasionally, and Angie has been fine with that.

Sylvie

Veteran

I'm very interested to see what the consensus (if any) is on this thread.

I too was under the impression that individual thanks/responses were considered good manners on this forum.

Therefore, I only start threads when I know that I'll have time to watch/monitor the conversations. I'll post a single message with individual thanks/responses after a "reasonable" number of people have commented and the thread looks like it has cooled down. If there is a second big batch of comments after that, I'll post another long message with individual acknowledgements. If up to 1-2 people respond after that second message, I thank via badge and don't respond to avoid bumping the thread. Also, I won't respond/avoid bumping if the thread has been live for more than 24 hours.

Complicated, huh?

I would probably post more often if forum etiquette only required badges and not individual responses. It can be hard to allocate that chunk of time to respond thoughtfully, especially because most of the conversational action happens during my work day. I see the lengthy responses people write and wonder how they manage it - perhaps I'm just the slowest writer ever?

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

We really are polishing forum etiquette these days by the look of it. My intentions are always the best for this community which I love and respect. But, one thing that I take from this all is that you can't please everyone.

cciele said it better than I could.

And anne touches on interesting point with us who live outside US and in different time zones.

As a general rule, I like to show the appreciation for someone taking time to comment, however sometimes it is not possible very soon after posting - unplanned things get in the way.

Which is why I think the badges are a genius thing and I use at least them, but only if I've read (not just skimmed) over the comment - which can also mean I don't get to do it until a day, two even five days later. But I read all comments on the threads I've started.

I don't expect to be addressed directly on those conversations where I leave comments, but since badges are a simple one-click action I think that unless I'm on someone's ignore list it is nice to be shown at least through badges that my input was at least read.

Anonymous

On my thread about making the most of your best feature. I had an awful lot of input and went back to my thread at intervals to thank people in batches. So in other words I left it for a while and waited for comments to build up. I thanked pretty much everyone as it was a subject that needed me to address many points for contributers. Angie chimed in near the end and said how much she admired my stamina and extremely good manners for addressing each and everyone here's a link to the page where she commented : http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ure/page/2
Now, on my WIW's I tend to pop back a couple of times and answer in batches and I am in the UK so I often have to do this on the second day of me posting. I also remember reading a comment once, on a thread similar to this, where a similar thing was discussed and the consensus then was that it was better to leave your thread and just click the appreciation buttons once it had gone onto page 2 for the second time. Though this was about 14 months ago and the forum is busier now.

To be honest though I am getting rather fed up of all the discussions full of angst lately on the forum and I am getting rather tempted to take a break from it. We all have stress and stuff going of in our real lives and we don't really want it in the place where we come to for a bit of pleasure and fashion discussion.
Can we please all just carry on as we were???

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What Caro and Joy said, and it depends on the type of thread and the kinds of responses.

And also what Ornella said. Can't please everyone, so I do what seems polite and reasonable to me in the specific circumstance.

Anonymous

Adelfa, ummm, I am not sure what to think about it. i guess the forum is getting a little intimidating.

missvee

Veteran

As someone who rarely starts a thread I am in total awe of those of you who take the time to post regularly. I think that whatever way you choose to acknowledge the responses you receive is perfectly fine. I hope we don't get too bogged down with perceived protocol :-).

Parsley

Veteran

In my opinion it's all good!
Personally, I don't get bent out of shape one way or another. If someone gives a lot of responses on their thread I don't have to keep opening it if I don't want to. I do like to have some kind of acknowledgment if I've responded on a thread, but whether it's written or by clicking "boost" or whatever doesn't matter to me.

Vix

Veteran

Hi Adelfa --

I'll out myself as the poster who mentioned hearing that bumping by thanking annoyed members/was seen as non-ideal forum etiquette a while back. [ETA: in one or more of the meta/preferences threads, and it was not an isolated comment.]

I still don't get it. An "older" (aka 1-7 day old) post comes back to the top: so what? Why these "oh if I post a WIW, then after 24 hours I just badge vs bump" comments?

How is bumping to thank any more egotistical or attention-seeking than starting a *new* post? Is it that it's pushing a newer post down? If so, that seems to imply newer posts are inherently more interesting -- even if that interpretation is not anyone's intent.

Badging is nice, but it's not public. If you're a member who mostly reads the latest and greatest you may not realize this, but the public thanks tend to go to the posters who are first. So you privately thank someone for contributing to your 2-day old post: great. Those who ARE catching up on the threads will often see effusive thanks to the "regulars," and nothing (because it's not public) said in response to newcomers, off-and-on posters, etc. From THIS reader's perspective, anyway, it's weird. Like being good enough to sleep with but not good enough to date publicly, or something!

On a broader note, as someone who's not on throughout the day or often for more than minutes here and there, I *love* when a thread pops up from the several pages back. [And I find I'm often one bumping to contribute to someone's thread I missed -- a lot of great discussions loitering in pages 3-7...and even farther back.]

Krista

Veteran

I appreciate the topic, Adelfa, as it was something I was thinking about. But I am generally someone who has angst about this because I was raised to always thank people!

Inner angst aside (because it's just angst!), I generally take Parsley's approach. It's all good. I try to acknowledge people by badges at least, or a personal thank you if I can. I expect the same but I don't worry about it. I recognize people are busy and, in all honesty, if something comes up in my life and I'm obsessing about how I didn't respond to my own thread on YLF, that's not cool at all. It's all about balance. I think we all recognize that?

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I suppose I'm one of the biggest offenders of thanking everyone so it seems like I'm bumping my own threads constantly. That's not what I'm doing though. I feel that if someone has taken the time to comment on my thread I owe them a thank you and of course if someone has asked a question, I most certainly don't want to miss it and want to respond in a timely manner. Sometimes if I can't get back to the thread until much later, I will still respond to the question which looks like another bump.

I had no idea that people would misconstrue politely responding to people (which my mother always taught me was simple good manners) as selfish bumping of one's own thread.

I also appreciate when others acknowledge my replies, if I have said anything worthy of replying to.

I enjoy the back-and-forth that can take place in a thread (such as my VC tube skirt length post yesterday with many back and forths with Angie, Suz and Glory for example). Was I selfishly bumping? Absolutely not. I was engaged in a somewhat real time conversation where others (I believe) were expecting a response.

I must say, with all due respect, that if I have to worry about how many times I reply to posters in my thread, not to respond to anyone once my thread has gone off the first page, etc. then I think we have lost some of what this forum is about - lively, engaged, style related discussions, whether that be in a WIW post, K/R post or any other discussion.

I'm feeling much like Diane above and am considering taking a break from the forum. It is becoming more difficult to determine how I'm supposed to behave here

Anonymous

I am much in agreement with Shannon. One thing is to iron out sensitivities, another is to hash out "protocols" that have not been set by the admins here. I think we all should go back and think "What would Angie say to this?" I can guarantee you she would say do whatever makes you feel engaged. As I said, there is no one 'right' way to behave in this forum, because that freedom is intrinsic to its design ( other than being respectful, of course).

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Agreed, Zap! She'd say do whatever makes you engaged, and be nice to one another.

I have to wonder if for some of us, at least, the heat might be making us extra-sensitive. I haven't been conscious of that with respect to the forum but I do know I was awfully "testy" with Mr. Suz for a couple of evenings last week. And it was all the heat.

Also, NAS fever (and Angie being busy) may be taking a toll. Let's just keep having fun here!

Vix

Veteran

Zap, no one is asking for protocols.

These topics are just as much an area of sensitivity to the members concerned as who gets praised as a style inspiration is an area of sensitivity to others.

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