Regarding feelings about gray hair. I stopped coloring my hair in my early forties, and was completely gray relatively young. And that was not by choice but a result of traumatizing allergic reaction to hair dye. Add to that many negative and unsupportive comments by people who didn’t know about my allergy and were urging me to start coloring again. I started feeling insecure and questioning my appearance. I thought that I will look silly and like trying too hard by dressing young and sexy, when I didn’t feel like it anymore. So I stopped wearing v necks, sleeveless, shorter skirts, sheath dresses, cardigans and heels.
At work, newly hired young IT guys started comparing me with their mothers, they would tell me what to type and try to take over my mouse and keyboard to show me how to do things even though I had more experience and better knowledge. But they would quickly learn not to do that LOL.
Men stopped hitting on me, that was partly relief but partly contributed to feelings of invisibility. I was used to getting a lot of attention which was flattering but also mostly unwelcome and annoying.