It’s not too late to join the YLF Seattle Clothing Swap Meet on Saturday May 5. The swap will be held in the Seattle Seward Park neighbourhood from 11am till 1pm. Veteran member Antje, who is a clothing swap pro, has kindly offered to organize the event just like she did the year before. I’ll be there to give my two cents and join in the festivities and offer my homemade chocolate cake with cream cheese icing. 

Participating is free and easy: Bring at least 5 items of clothing (clean and in good condition) plus unlimited shoes, bags, and accessories that you no longer want or need and that may work for someone else. Send email to swap@youlookfab.com and provide your full name and preferred email address, and you’ll receive an eVite with more information, the address and directions. We are exited to see you there! 

These photos were taken an hour before the wedding in a Japanese garden at The New Otani, the hotel where we stayed during our visit to Tokyo. With it’s beautiful tomato red bridge and Zen shrubbery, Greg couldn’t have found a more picturesque backdrop for this photo shoot. 

I had hoped to find a new outfit to wear for the joyous occasion, but it didn’t work out that way. Things were either too short, too neutral, too bare, too casual, too flimsy, too expensive or too maximal when I shopped around for a frock and topper. I still liked the blue sheath dress and citron trench coat that I wore for my 40th a few years ago better than anything new I tried. Shopping your closet has it’s benefits.

Although classic in silhouette, the uneven ruching detailing both in the front and back of the sheath gives it a modern and sculptural vibe. It was unexpectedly cold and windy that day and I was much relieved that I had a dressy trench coat to cover up my sleeveless dress. I kept the trench on and un-buttoned during most of the wedding events. 

I hadn’t thought of adding nude hosiery to this ensemble until right before the event. 99% of the women in Japan wear textured, black or plain nude hosiery with their skirts and dresses, so I was inspired to do the same. I bought an ultra fine textured pair at a nearby shop for $4.

And my goodness was I glad that I wore hose. Most of the ceremony at the shrine was outside. And afterwards we walked to the restaurant where the reception was held, as well as walking back to the hotel. I would have frozen my buns off with bare legs, and been utterly miserable. 

The dress was blue. The trench coat, pearls, clutch bag (and dress) were old. And the shoes are new. The citron colour of the pumps stole my heart right away. But I am not a high-heeled stiletto gal, preferring chunkier and lower heels by about a billion percent. However, I loved the black and white stripes on the heels so I gave them a bash.

As far as “sitting shoes” go, they felt fab, and completed the lady like integrity of the outfit. I can scarcely believe, and neither can Greg, that I walked to the reception and back to the hotel in these heels – although it was at a much slower pace than my usual fast stride. Thank you Kate Spade for making high heels that agree with my fussy feet. 

Be sure to see the additional pictures on Facebook or Tumblr, and if you are interested in the making of a YLF photo, Greg has outlined the post-processing steps on his lookfab blog. 

Tomorrow, the finale of our Japan series and the most important post of all: Brian and Tomoko’s wedding.

You are on Team Bracelet if you prefer to wear arm candy — be it bangles, bracelets or cuffs — more than rings. You are on Team Ring if you prefer to wear decorative rings, like oversized faux cocktail rings or rings made of real metals and precious stones, more than arm candy. Note: for this poll, watches do NOT count as arm candy, and wedding rings do NOT count as decorative rings. 

I very, very, occasionally wear bracelets and rings because my minimalistic style prefers to stay clear of jewelry and accessory extras. I stick to wearing an oversized watch and wedding ring daily and leave it at that. A few times a year, I’ll throw on a chunky bracelet or cocktail ring, both gold and bold vintage pieces from my late Mum. I seem to wear the ring a little more often than the bracelet, and also generally prefer rings to arm candy. I’m on Team Ring. 

Over to you. Are you on Team Bracelet or Team Ring. Tell us why and no batting for both teams. 

I really don’t like the phrase “trying too hard” when it comes to describing someone’s style or an outfit they are wearing. Even when people are using it to describe themselves, I find it unfair and not at all constructive. 

That said, it is definitely a real thing. It is the exact opposite of what I would describe as effortless style. When you are “trying too hard” you are sporting a look that takes you out of your comfort zone and makes you feel self-conscious. The confidence, such an important ingredient of a successful outfit, is missing. 

Confidence is important, but evolving your style might be just as important. Experimenting with different silhouettes, fabrications, colours, shoe shapes, accessories, tones of make-up and hairstyles will keep your style fresh, fashionable, and interesting. Perhaps most important, it is fun to experiment.

The thing is, you’re probably going to feel more self-conscious and less confident when you move out of your comfort zone. You might look like you are “trying too hard”. 

That’s completely ok.

If you can, forget about what others might think and focus on evolving your style. Or take smaller steps outside your comfort zone and evolve your style in little increments. Over time, the experiments will pay off and you will find a new, evolved style that makes you feel confident and therefore looks effortless to others. After all, practice makes perfect.

Also, the more experimentation you do, the less self-conscious you will feel when you experiment. Looking at the street style in Harajuku it struck me that here are people who might not even have a comfort zone based on certain items, silhouettes, or styles. Their comfort zone is trying new things, and they are confident in their experiments.

You might read this post and think that I am contradicting my pillars of effortless style, but I’m not. I do still believe in those pillars today. Here’s the important point: some days you are going to decide to look effortless and dress within your current comfort zone. That’s when the pillars apply. On other days you are going to step outside your comfort zone and consciously sacrifice effortless style in order to evolve. 

Perhaps we can find a more supportive and constructive way of describing those moments of style transition when we are experimenting and finding our way. I’m open to suggestions.