The Reality of Aging

I turn 49 in July. To my 86-year-old Dad, I’m a spring chicken. To my 19-year old-nephew, I’m ancient. To me, I’m middle-aged. I hope to have many more working years, exciting adventures, happy days, and fabulous style moments ahead of me. 

Like most people in this stage of life, I’ve done some soul searching about the physical aging process. I used to think that it was all about looking younger. After all, we live in a world that favours youth and young beauty. These days I think about it differently. I want to age without the pressure of wanting to look younger than my age. I want to age naturally. I want to feel good about my age, and grateful for what it has given me.

Nineteen years ago my Mum unexpectedly died at 59. She wasn’t able to enjoy a long life. That tragic family event puts things into perspective. It is not about looking a certain age. It is about enjoying the life we are given, at every age.

I want to rise above the thought that looking older is the enemy. I want to ignore the anti-aging messages that I’m bombarded with daily in the fashion, beauty and entertainment world. I want to relax into and embrace the physical effects of aging with peace in my heart.

I have been guilty of sometimes saying she or he “looks good for their age”. I want to stop saying that and thinking that way. The signs of age are signs of experience, wisdom and rites of passage. They represent a different kind of beauty.

I will continue to cleanse, exfoliate, hydrate and moisturize my dry skin. I will wear make-up and style my hair. I will indulge in the occasional facials, manicures and pedicures. I will work out in my own way, as long as I can, with lots of walking and vinyasa yoga classes. These things are about being relaxed, healthy, confident and polished, at whatever age I am. 

I will continue to have fun with fashion and style, because I enjoy it! It’s a hobby, and an unstressful component of my life. I have the power to pick and choose from the buffet of trends every season, and wear them my way. Individualism is the strongest trend of all, and I’ll continue sporting my signature looks until I’m bored with them, and not because they are no longer on-trend or I’m “too old” to wear them.

My Mum, who would have turned 78 this year, isn’t here to inspire me with her thoughts on the physical aging process. But I am surrounded by inspirational clients, friends and family members who are older than me. They are confident, unaffected, at peace with how they look, don’t compare and despair, and continue to have fun with fashion. Above all, they are getting on with what life has to offer, together with the people and pets that mean most to them. That’s empowering.

Wet and Grey Versus Dry and Sunny

I find Seattle to be cold for much of the year. People often find that strange, since Seattle’s winters are mild relative to other cities. Part of the explanation is that I’m a tropical gal who loves the heat and has little resistance to the cold. But after living in Salt Lake City for some of the time, I think it’s more than that. The bigger factor is that wet and grey feels much colder than dry and sunny, even when the latter is at a lower temperature.  

Winter temperatures in Seattle seldom fall below freezing during the day. Snow and slush are infrequent. But it’s very, very wet. It rains for much of the year. The damp wind penetrates warm clothing, so it’s hard to feel insulated when you’re walking outside. Skies are grey, and sunshine is rare. There’s no sun relief to warm you up. I’m always wrapped up, wearing thermals, a hat, a thick scarf, and fleece-lined footwear.

Winter temperatures in Salt Lake City are much lower, and it snows frequently. But it’s very dry and beautifully sunny a lot of the time. The cold doesn’t cut through to your bones, and you can insulate quite easily. The sun helps quite a bit during the day, and there isn’t often an icy wind to contend with. Despite the colder temperatures, thermals can feel too warm during the day.

When Sam and I do our 6am walk in Salt Lake City it is often -5 degrees Celsius (23 degrees Fahrenheit) or lower. It’s very cold, but we manage just fine with the right layers and Winter accessories. Seattle with the temperature hovering a few degrees above freezing (Celsius) feels colder. I can wear my thermals, a long Canadian puffer, woolies, all sorts of Winter accessories, and still feel cold. There is little chance of overheating in a wet and cloudy cold. 

I was anxious about the winters in Salt Lake City, since temperatures are lower than they are in Seattle. I wondered what I would wear, given that I already wear all the warm stuff in Seattle. But I’ve coped well so far, and haven’t even needed my thermals yet. Still, the coldest temperatures in SLC are still coming and we’ll see how that goes.

Outfit Formula: Winter Wide Crops

Wide crops have been trending for a while, and are gaining mainstream momentum. They are high in the waist, roomy to very roomy in the leg, wide at the hem, and cropped above the ankle. The idea is to showcase the high rise but tucking or semi-tucking tops into the waist, and most wide crops are styled that way. But feel free to wear an untucked top, especially when it creates a low contrast with the bottoms. That way you won’t shorten the leg line as much, especially when you wear flats.

Here are four outfit ideas to get you started.

1. Streamlined & Punchy Shoes

These wide crops are streamlined and the tucked top showcases the self-fabric belt. The black moto adds structure to the outfit because it’s short, thereby accentuating the natural form of the wearer from the hips down. The black moto also creates a column of colour in a more subtle way. Black boots would have been an obvious elongating choice, but the snakeskin is unexpected and punchy. The black in the pattern of the snakeskin creates enough colour palette cohesion.

Eloquii New Crop Jean With Frayed Hem

2. Column of Colour

Columns of colour are often black or dark. But they can be any colour, like the red one here. Columns like these make a bold yet calming statement. They are elongating, streamlining, and make a statement. Columns of colour allow you to combine a larger assortment of silhouettes because they offset the horizontal lines that get in the way of flattering proportions. They also provide a so-called blank canvas for all sorts of accessories and footwear. Here, the white boots are crisp, and their black heels match the black buttons of the outfit.

Mango Micro Corduroy Structured Blazer

3. Earthy Super Hero

These might be proportions that are easier to accomplish when you wear heels, but flats can work if they’re structured and tidy on the foot and ankle. The high contrast of the top, boots and coat create horizontal lines that affect proportions. Yet the subtle elongating strategies make a difference like the the semi-tucked top, the very long length of the coat, the open front of the coat, and shorter length of the wide crops.

SEE BY CHLOE Cropped High-rise Wide-leg Jeans

4. Textured Black

I like the texture in this outfit, which offsets the flatness and severity that an all-black outfit can exude. There are six textures: wool, bouclé, fur, surface interest stitching, ribbing and patent. The grey laces and Swiss dot are subtle, but make a dancing difference against the black. The proportions work because a column of colour offsets horizontal lines that high-contrast items create. The result is streamlining no matter the silhouette.

MaxMara Plain Weave Trousers

Roundups

Simpler Items

This week's list of top picks list is about basic pieces.

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Assorted Items

Items for Summer, both in and out of air conditioning.

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Casual Summer Vibes

This week's top picks are good for a casual Summer vibe.

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Summery Earth Tones

These items are for those who like to wear casual earth tones in warm and hot weather.

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Hints of Spring

Some tried-and-tested winning items to refresh your style for Spring.

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Dressier Items

An assortment of dressier top picks might be just what the doctor ordered.

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Link Love: Discovering New Fashion Brands

I thought January is a good time to round up some new brands that are being talked about in the fashion world right now.

Fab Links from Our Members

Shevia wanted to share this Washington Post article that she says is “the most uplifting political story she has seen in a long time.”

Runcarla is excited to start reading Jennifer Robson’s new historical novel that centres on Queen Elizabeth’s wedding gown: “It looks like there is lots for the detail-oriented lover of fashion and clothing creation.”

This article about the New Year’s resolution all women should make really resonated with Jenni NZ because she agrees we all worry too much.

Is this the new Mum on the Go, asks Jenn.

Edit and Review Your Wardrobe Basics

Wardrobe basics are items like panties, bras, camisoles, socks, sleepwear, loungewear, hosiery and thermals. If you’re not a sporty and athletic person like me and don’t have a lot of gear, yoga outfits are wardrobe basics too. 

Wardrobe basics are NOT to be confused with wardrobe essentials, which are the simple items that are essential to your particular style.

When I help clients to edit and review their closets, they often think they’re done after we’ve gone through clothing, footwear and accessories. Not so fast! We have to hit wardrobe basics. Some clients are reluctant, but we eventually edit and review that component of their styles, and add important items to a shopping list. It’s always a great feeling when it’s done.

You might not enjoy wearing them or purchasing them, but wardrobe basics are workhorses, and therefore deserve your attention and a portion of your budget. Tackle each of the categories a drawer, bin, or pile at a time, and make a list of what’s missing. Arrange the items you’re keeping neatly back into their storage spaces, and find better storage solutions if you need to. The process is fast, effective, and satisfying.

Underwear and Shapewear

Go through your pile of panties and bras and pass on the items that are worn, ripped, unflattering, pilling, stretched out, don’t fit, or uncomfortable. Do the same for shapewear and camisoles. Take special note of white camisoles and thermals that are stained and greyed.

This is especially important with weight loss or gain when you’ll need to adjust the size and fit of undies. People tend to forget that knickers and bras are an important foundation of one’s style.

Socks and Hosiery

Go through the lot and pass on worn, ripped, ill-fitting, and uncomfortable socks and hosiery. Pass on socks, knee-highs, and footies that have been single for years.

Sleepwear and Loungewear

Attack that forever growing pile of “demoted to sleeping” tees because you don’t need twenty of them. Do the same for sweatpants, sweatshirts and leggings. Check for worn-out fleece and flannel PJs. Check for holes in cotton pyjama sets. Sew on buttons that are missing, and pass on knits that have shrunk or stretched out. Assess your sleepwear capsule and whether you feel good and comfortable wearing it. If not, evolve your sleepwear style.

If you wear loungewear, make sure you look and feel good in it. Can you answer the front door, or nip out into the garden quickly wearing it and not feel embarrassed? Ask the same questions about your PJs and robe. It’s not the best solution to wear ruined, worn, ill-fitting and un-fab clothing around the house just because you don’t want to pass it on. Feel good in your at-home style too.

Workout Wear

Attack that forever growing pile of old tees you’ve decided are good enough to work out in. They might be, but again, you probably don’t need more than seven if you work out daily. Attack that forever growing pile of free tees that you’ve accumulated from completing a sporting event, participating at a work function, or contributing to a charity. Keep the ones that are sentimental in a box out of the way, or take a photo of the important tees and store the sentimental ones digitally.

Check through the rest of your workout wear and make sure it’s dead right for your needs. Many of my clients wear 20% of their workout wear 80% of the time. Pass on the malfunctioning lot and duplicate the winners.

If you’re very sporty and have a lot of specialized sports gear, take the time to go through what you hike, bike, swim, ski, canoe, paddle board, snowboard and belly dance in, and make sure it’s functional, fabulous, and makes you happy.

I edited and reviewed my wardrobe basics a couple of weekends ago. Editing items and neatening up the content of drawers makes my toes tingle. I could do it all day! I passed on some cute but dreadfully ill-fitting socks, old bras, and polyester camisoles that look great but feel awful. I revamped my sleepwear and loungewear last year and feel good in it. My yoga capsule is extremely small but very functional so I’m not adding to it. I ordered some new bras and knee-highs and I’m set for a while.

Over to you. How edited are your wardrobe basics? Do they need to be replenished? I’ll be starting a basics editing & reviewing challenge on our forum soon, which might help with the motivation to get it done.