yes, he's not willing to put on socks, so then couldn't you guys at least acknowledge he's wrong for not wanting to compromise? you're accusing me of being a nag and not letting go, but how about him?

ETA: nevermind.

So Amy, you guys have nothing to say with respect to the etiquette parts of my question?

But you've said that the sock issue is not a deal breaker for you and he's pretty much said it is for him so I think you might need to be the one to compromise. Yes, it's silly, but you've got to pick your battles, no?

I said it wasn't a deal breaker, but he's the kinda guy who's not willing to do something this small for me, does he truly care about me?

the reason I want you guys to acknowledge this is so I can tell him I'm not the only one who thinks this. with the way it is now, I look like the crazy one.

" Last night he flat out told me 'if the fact that I go barefoot a lot bugs you this much, maybe you should leave me'. " Wow. There's a warning shot over the bough if I've ever heard one. He is clearly DONE discussing this issue, and he's not willing to change. If you are that hung-up about feet, then maybe it IS a deal-breaker.

The only other option I see is if he is encouraged to change by having the hosts of homes and parties address this directly with him by asking him to keep his feet either covered or off the furniture. However, if they have not already done this of their own accord, I would guess that they don't see it as a problem, either.

I think that's a fair question and I think that's the heart of your question more than style or etiquette. I wish you wisdom as you sort through it.

Do i seem shallow if I break up with him over this? He is an amazing bf apart from this issue. He does a lot for me, and he's always there for me when I have a problem.

Mo is right. Get your bf to weigh in here.

Kate, why did you break up with your boyfriend?

"He wouldnt wear socks when I begged him and his bare feet grossed me out and annoyed me." Gonna be honest this sounds shallow.

"He wouldn't compromise with me, not just on one thing, but on many things throughout our relationship and I felt he didn't value or respect me feelings or opinions." Valid concern.

Only you know which scenario is closer to your true feelings. But ypu seem to really like him.

Since we're really veering away from the style question at this point I'd recommend cintinuing the discussion in the off topic section of the forum if you feel more discussion is needed.

Look, I think everybody is entitled to their deal breakers here. And it seems to me that for you, "not dressing the way you want him to" is a deal breaker. And we know that "telling him how to dress" is a deal breaker for him. So it looks like both of you need to move on.

It sounds shallow, I know. I'm going to try talking to him about it, and asking if we wants to weigh in here. Well, it's still a question on style so I think it's relevant

Oh wow, he just texted me this picture and said 'what's wrong with mr. footie?'...what a jerk.

It seems he's goading you now.
To answer your repeated question, which is more etiquette and relationship related, I think it would be proper for him to wear socks or slippers when guests in someone's home. I personally would not take offence if it were just a popping by visit, however, if I went to the trouble of making a nice meal and inviting people to my home I would definitely appreciate occasion appropriate dressing.
Some have argued that the hosts haven't said anything so it must be alright with them but I disagree. When dealing with adults, even children, hosts will often bite their tongue and then complain to others after the fact (or they'll consult an advice column!)
This dilemma you have is a bump in the road of a relationship but it seems it's bringing out character traits which you may not have otherwise seen (on both sides).
One thing you could do is ask some older people in your life, whom you know, to get a perspective on this one. I do feel for you, I can tell you are frustrated and it does seen like a small thing to ask. Only you (and he) know if you are actually nagging him.

Thank you Tina, you're pretty much the only one who truly gets it. Just because the hosts haven't said anything, it doesn't mean they appreciate him padding around their house barefoot. And even if they didn't mind, you still don't put your bare feet on other peoples couches. that's always rude. Let's face it, his feet are hideous and nobody wants to see that.

I'm going to try having a serious talk with him about this. I can't believe I tried texting him and he sends me that pic. He's really being insensitive about this.

I thought the pic was funny. But I'm not sensitive about feet.

I can see how people might laugh at it, but this shows he's unable to talk about this seriously.

I don't think you understand what's going on here. Him wearing shoes is not an option at this point. He's told you that in no uncertain terms. Whether or not he should wear shoes, as a matter of etiquette or fashion or anything else, is not up for discussion. I really fear that an attempt at a "serious talk" will not end the way you want it to.

How do you know it's not an option?

Because he told you so?

To be honest, there us nothing wrong with his feet.

Because he told you he would rather break up than wear shoes. When people tell you who they are, you need to believe them.

I think this issue has taken on a life if it's own, and become a symbol of something much larger. I truly think you should back off, and focus on the things you love about him. Perhaps approach it again once serious time has passed, in a much different way. At the moment you've backed him into a corner that he can't get out of without feeling like he "lost", and nobody likes that.

This may have started out about style, but it's not anymore.

Here:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ationships
But please don't post any pictures of third parties without their express consent, in that thread.

I see nothing wrong with his feet.

I think it looks better to wear shorts barefoot than with just socks.

For the record, you're all welcome to put your bare feet on my couch.

This is one heck of a bizarre thread.

Lol Niki Lea. Heck, I even give free foot massages to family members who stick their bare feet in my lap. They often reciprocate too.

ok this thread is turning weird now. you guys really see nothing gross about his feet?

I have a question for you guys. If he came over to YOUR house wearing flip flops, would you honestly make him take them off and go barefoot? I want to know what the general consensus is on this. And lets say youd make him take off his sandals, wouldn't you prefer he wore socks in your house?

Shoes off, bare feet allowed. I would not make my guests wear socks. Set your piggies free in my house, ladies and gents.

I definitely have foot quirks, so no foot massages from me. But as long as I don't have to touch them, you can have bare feet in my house and on my couch.