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Your childhood shopping: how does it influence you

plonkee

Building on some of the posts on TK Maxx and Anthropologie, I realised that how I grew up shopping for clothes still affects how I shop now.

Mainly when I was a kid, we didn't clothes shop. My clothes were hand me downs from other people's kids. As I got more independence as a teen, I occasionally shopped for clothes in the local suburban malls and this felt special.

Nowadays I don't like second hand, or rummaging through piles of clothes. And it's hard to get out of the mindset of genuinely nice clothing being a 'treat'. I think these are both a hangover from my childhood. (As is having feeling I ought to only have one pair of shoes/coat/bag in a broad category.)

How does your childhood affect how you shop now?

Shopping

36 replies

Latest reply was from Cerinda

Gail

Veteran

We were quite poor growing up so my Mum made a lot of my clothes when I was really little. When I got older i had very few clothes and wore the few I had all the time. We got one special outfit for occasions. If I did get something new I always wanted to protect it and would be afraid to wear the item. I still do this today. I have items in my closet that are "too good" for everyday and therefore hardly get worn. I am really trying to get away from that and just enjoy them but it is hard. I like to shop and still have that hunt for a bargain or sale item mentality big time!

retailgirl

Veteran

When I was growing up, people didn't have the amount of clothes we have today. (1950's). My mother made many of my clothes, not to save money, but because she loved to sew and design. What she didn't make, we bought on seasonal excursions "downtown", (Milwaukee, Providence, Hartford). I don't think we ever stalked sales and I'm not a sale shopper today. When I was a teen and babysat, all of that money went to clothes. (50 cents an hour). I collected Shetland sweaters, nice merino sweaters, Oxford cloth or Liberty print blouses, and matching skirts, and wore those outfits for years, through college and onto my first job. (Villager, John Meyer of Norwich.) So today I have lots of clothes, many I've had for years, I like classics and good quality. I usually only get rid of something if it no longer fits or if I buy a better replacement.

Summer

Veteran

My sister and I had very small wardrobes as children, not because of poverty, but because of post-war austerity. The make- do- and- mend mentality was still prevalent at the time. We were always well turned out, but had just sufficient outfits to see us through the week, plus one or two special ones for for parties and special occasions.

This early experience could have sent me in one of two ways: I might have gone crazy with my clothes buying to compensate, or else carry on in much the same way. I chose the latter. I enjoy shopping for new clothes, but don't crave excess. As long as I have enough to take me where I need to go, I am happy.

One marked difference from my mother's way is that I dislike sales shopping. I really hate sifting through untidy racks of random items looking for a pot of gold (which I never find). If something I have had my eye on goes on sale, that's great, but that's as far as it goes.

El Cee

Veteran

Interesting topic Plonkee. I was the oldest of four girls -- so no hand-me-downs. But my family was extremely budget conscious. I had a very limited wardrobe growing up and we shopped discount. (EJ Korvettes, Sears, Alexander's). I was instructed to "take care of things" and "make them last". Unfortunately for my parents, my childhood was one giant growth spurt, so I was lucky if I could wear any clothing or shoes for more than a year. (My sisters probably got loads of hand-me-downs.) As an extremely tall teen with size 12 feet, clothing and shoe shopping was a tremendous challenge. My father took me to specialty stores in New York City twice a year where I got to select a small (minimalist) capsule of clothing each season. The "make things last" mindset is still with me 40 - 50 years later. I have trouble culling or purging items if they fit and are in good condition… even though I am in a financial position to buy new things. I am also more of a discount and sale shopper now that tall sizes are more readily available (especially online) -- buying a lot of my casual wear from retailers like Old Navy, Gap and American Eagle when they run 30%-40% off promotions. I feel guilty shopping at places like Nordstrom (unless there is a big sale). Paying full price for anything (other than shoes which are hard to find in my size) makes me feel uncomfortable.

BrieN

Veteran

I grew up with hand me downs and things my mom made me . Once I was a teen I "graduated" to shopping at Lohmann's which was likely one of the first off-price store stocked with items from the NY fashion district and department stores last season. Talk about a treasure hunt. Many samples and items worn on runways. But nothing about the experience made you feel special, with the communal dressing rooms and dozen ladies in their bras and slips. I never learned to shop purposefully. I also never wore what the other kids in my fancy CT town were wearing -- no fair isles or Levi's red tags. I think this led to a scarcity mentality and a bit of a "I'll never get it right so why even try" mentality.

viva

Veteran

BrieN: Another side of the same coin???

I lived much of my childhood in a very wealthy town, but I was one of seven daughters in a Catholic family with parents of the Depression who were not consumers. (I think the reason we ended up in that town is that it was the only place my parents could find a home in 1960 that was large enough for them, seven children, and my grandparents to all live under one roof.)

My earliest memories of shopping are with my mother to a consignment shop called "The Piggy Bank," where I think many of my winter coats came from. We went there often and it was a treat to go. My mother had exceptional taste but was frugal; she was a British child of the war and she was not about excess.

In my youth, she took us to low-cost department stores (similar to JCPenneys or Kohls) or local specialty stores (with one annual trip to Bloomingdales as a treat, where we may have been lucky enough to get one item). And there were hand-me-downs of course, although as the 6th child of 7, there were fewer for me.

By the time I got to my teens, we really only shopped locally; these stores were not inexpensive but they were convenient, had great quality, and were well curated. They were not high fashion or designer: they were practical. I don't remember shopping for fun as a teen -- I don't think it was really something we did. It was always for something specific, and we always knew where to go: new Levis cords? Go to this store. New fair isle sweater? Go to that store. New shoes for school: This one.

I think that's the main thing: it wasn't about the hunt, it wasn't for fun. It was more targeted, more practical, more precise. And that's pretty much what I am most comfortable doing now.

Anonymous

My mom hated to shop for herself, therefore she hated to shop, period. I recall going 'school shopping' in the late summer before the new school year started for a few new pieces to replace whatever I'd outgrown or worn out. She refused to buy name brand. (That became a challenge for me as a teenager in the 80's, when I was so much more aware of labels and how they mattered to that age group.) Clothing was definitely utilitarian, though it was to send the 'right' message as well. I think the idea was to wear things until they wore out, because following fashion would have been a waste of time for her. I didn't really get hand-me-downs as my sisters are 9 and 12 years older than I.

However... valuable things I did learn (and still adhere to) were that you can't ever go wrong with the classics, shoes absolutely must fit right, and be cautious with trends as you don't want to waste a lot of time/money/clothing on them.

Now, it's interesting. My oldest sister has serious body issues and while I think she has an awesome sense of style, she also hates to shop. My middle sister and I love it... maybe a little too much. I've been so happy for her (as she is very tall and has a size 12 foot) as she finds online retailers that carry her sizes -- something she couldn't have done growing up -- they just didn't exist. It's opened up a whole new world for her, especially shoes!, and she's having a blast. I've gone back and forth with style interest over the years, but have taught myself (mostly by reading blogs) how to wear what looks good on me and I feel so good about my own style right now. It's an ongoing journey, of course, but I'm glad I was able to let go of a lot of guilt.

Anonymous

I grew up in the '60s and '70s. My mom sewed clothing for me and for my 3 sisters, because she loved to sew and because she wanted to save money. I never had to wear hand me downs. I did, however, wear cheap shoes from Goodie's (the equivalent of Pay Less).

My mother instilled in me the importance of buying quality garments, saying that there is no economy in buying cheaply made clothing. She also loved to shop the clearance racks and to look at the new styles to see if she could duplicate them for me. So I learned to shop for both price and quality.

I don't know why she didn't buy better quality shoes, though! She didn't start buying better shoes for me until my feet had stopped growing.

Anonymous

Really interesting topic - and I'm enjoying thinking back to those times and trying to remember how we shopped. I have picked out my own clothes for as long as I remember - grade 4 and on, probably. I was sewing a lot of my own things by grade 6/7 and used to spend HOURS looking at fabric and patterns and picking out something to make for the school dance. (cringes now) From the minute I had a part-time job, I was buying my own clothes , and was right in there in the fun teen mall shops picking out things. We travelled south in winters to golf tournaments or closer to home to ski meets, and I bought most of my casual things in pro shops, ski shops and out of my dad's own pro shop . My mother was never really into clothes in any way, so I figured out this stuff on my own. We were not short of money per se, but because it wasn't particularly interesting to my mom, I was left to my own shopping devices.

El Cee

Veteran

Oh BrieN! What memories you have brought back with the mention of "Loehmann's". I especially remember their "Back Room" where all the special occasion dresses were kept. No dressing rooms back there -- it was "strip in place -- quickly". Took my mom there to find her a MOB dress for my wedding. She nearly died of shock from the experience.

Kari

Veteran

My parents were both budget shoppers wait for a sale, scope out a deal, price trumps quality. That makes sense for kids' clothes! But it was difficult for me to internalize the "quality over quantity" mantra. When I started shopping on my own-and as a young adult, around the time I started reading YLF-I would buy a just-OK piece. Then I'd buy similar just-ok pieces, trying to remedy what I didn't like about the first piece. Or perhaps I'd love something but would buy inferior duplicates. I've learned to be far more careful even if it means spending more money per piece, with fewer pieces, if it means that everything is easily wearable. I do not do well in stores like Ross/TJ Maxx because there is so much stuff that I don't like and I gravitate towards the stuff that is "OK" and am prone to buy it because it might be gone if I don't. Slow shopping suits me more. I like to research trends and stores online, think carefully about what I want, what needs/holes I have, existing pieces that are too similar. I stalk out sales. I do about 50-50 online and in person these days but always with research first, and I'm more scrupulous online.

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

My mother loved fashion and color. She delighted in supporting my interests and did a wonderful job of getting me my wish list items. I marvel now at how impractical she let me be such as my red patent leather Maryjanes that turned my white lace socks pink, lol There was something so special about how she supported me finding my own style even as a young girl. I think this is why I relate my style to the ultimate in self care and began my blogging journey after mourning her.

Vix

Veteran

Hi Plonkee --

Great thread; I was skimming the TJX thread and thought -- "I grew up shopping almost nothing but Marshalls and discount!"

Looking forward to reading more responses.

Habit #1 I've had to break:

While budget was always an issue in our family, my mother loves to shop and was (is!) quantity based. She's happy having 5 pairs of Item X for $20 each but has a hard time paying $100 for a perfect version of Item X. She's also ridiculously easy off-the-rack fit who often makes cheap stuff look better!

Paying full price is kind of a sin in our family, while bragging about a bargain is not. While I *love* a good deal and seek sale prices (and shop discount, consignment, and thrift), I've learned that for *me* FP is often a better "deal" in the long run.

Habit #2 I've had to break (work in progress!)
We never wanted for anything important (food, shelter, medical care) and had extras. But having their child fitting in with the wealthier kids was not a priority for my parents. They (understandably!) weren't going to go without so I could have a full-priced prepster wardrobe!

I worked starting in my early teens and got to keep half (half to savings); some of my savings went to non-discount-store clothes. I still see buying clothing that feels special and/or higher-maintenance to me as a reward, and have to be really aware of shopping for emotional needs. In fact I think my dislike of spending money on exercise or "practical" clothes stems from the first half of this!

And of course there's feeling guilty about buying items that are a more expensive version of whatever when so many people don't have the basics. While at the same time loving really beautiful things and places. Haven't solved that, but do find thoughtful giving helps the first and museum-going helps the latter....

Astrid

Veteran

We had a similar thread last fall:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ing-habits

Quoting myself:

"I grew up with hand me downs, few clothes and parents who were students, had no money and didn't care about fashion or clothes. Which resulted in an absolute cluelessness when it came to dressing myself. I had to learn that here on the forum. And I still have quite the aversion to neatness, polish and so on... I feel horribly uncomfortable in those clothes. I definitely prefer worn in, soft and relaxed. Oh and clothes were always kept just in case and taken out when needed again until they weren't wearable anymore (in the sense of being worn out, not because of something like "out of style")."

I have to say I have become a bit quality obsessed in reaction. I don't want to make do because I prefer to keep my things long enough to "break" them in. My style is way more important to me now, but I still don't need to be trendy. And I've gone back to the roots I guess, becoming more minimalist (sustainability is important to me).

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

A humbling and sobering thread. I loved reading your responses.

I grew up in the '70s and '80s, and had a Mum who LOVED to shop, and a Dad who loathed it. They both experienced very hard times during WW2 (my Dad in Arnhem and my Mum in Jakarta), so were frugal by nature. My Dad earned well with an expat salary in Hong Kong and we wanted for nothing. But my parents were strict and clothes shopping was infrequent and never lavish despite our means. Three things contributed to this:

People had far fewer clothes in those days - and kids grow out of things easily so no way would we be wearing expensive stuff.
We wore school uniforms for 12 years and barely needed other clothes to begin with.
If I wasn't in a school uniform, I was in jodhpurs and boots riding horses.

To answer your question though, YES. My Mum's impeccable and elegant style while I was growing up was an example to me. She made me realize that it was important to be well put together. So when we DID buy wardrobe items, we made it count and I appreciated it soooo much more. Today, my shopping motto is the same. If you have a little less of something, you appreciate it more despite your means.

Aziraphale

Veteran

I didn't grow up poor, but my parents were very careful with spending. This was partly because they made sure I was raised in a higher socioeconomic class than they were -- they got there by a combination of ambition and hard work. Also, they were both born during WWII, so they knew what austerity meant. Plus they had a few periods of economic hardship during the recession in the 80s. So we did get new clothes, but only at specific times -- normally at the start of the school year and the summer. We also got second-hand ones, because my mum saw thrift shopping as a kind of sport.

Then I put myself through university, so I never had any money for clothes -- but neither did any of my friends, so that was OK. It was the grunge era anyway, so it was easy to look cool cheaply. So when I got my first job, I felt rich -- even though it didn't earn very much! -- and started treating myself to the odd new thing every couple of weeks. It helped that I had moved into the city, in an area close to a popular retail district. It felt very decadent. I don't shop anywhere near that much now.

The other holdover from my childhood in my aversion to thrift shops. In theory they are a great idea, but in practice I hate the experience -- the clutter, the faint smell, the racks with clothes in every colour, the sorting through. Aaaaaargh. It might have something to do with being brought along to them as a kid while my mum rummaged.

Anonymous

Very interesting to hear about your upbringings!
I am the eldest of 4 kids, and the only girl.
My mother only ever bought me clothes from Paris and second-hand European clothes from fancy shops. She bought me only the best, and was very anti-mall. She would get her sister in Holland to send over shoes and leather school bags because everything locally was not up to her standards. I appreciated the clothes she got me, and loved how nice they were, but still disliked them as I felt they made me stand out too much.

Most of this hyper-vigilance about quality/brand/provenance I have rejected---or rather, I just simply fail to do well . I mostly shop at the mall, for mid-range clothes that are not necessarily classics. I also get rid of stuff easily. There is always a tug to buy expensive classics that look a bit "Euro" but when I wear them, I feel like I'm HER! I'm still learning to ignore my mother's voice of approval/disapproval while shopping. With the help of the YLF community, this emancipation is getting easier and easier.

With my own kids, I have talked to them about outfit building, and what colours look nice together. But the clothes are from the regular second hand store, the mall, or Costco.

I went to visit my mother last year (she lives across the country) and in the airport she said, "You look very nice Smittie" which is a SUPREME compliment coming from her.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

This is such a wonderful thread. I really enjoyed reading everyone's response.

I grew up in 80s & 90s in a small but cultured town in India. As a doctor, my dad earned well but was (and still is) very frugal by nature. He was the only earning member in our family, and in India, parents pay for their kids education & marriage.

My mom had a deep love for fashion and that made both me & my sister love clothes & style from an early age. We shopped infrequently but we enjoyed it very much. My parents were strict, so we had to buy limited clothes and make each purchase count. Often, me & my sister shared clothes.....but we were always well dressed. Our mum would buy fabrics, design our dresses, and have them tailored (it's cheaper to get clothes stitched than to buy readymade clothing in India)

I remember wishing I could buy more clothes and shoes. I loved walking into stores and looking at bright new shiny things, wishing they were mine. I hated to explain to my father why I desired new clothes/shoes. If it wasn't a "need", he didn't indulge us. "Wants" were unjustified for us.....we were allowed 3 dresses on our bday and 3 for festival season.

When I grew up and could afford clothes, I over-indulged myself. I still do this. I over-buy, because I never again want to feel "I wish I could just buy that". As a result, I found out that I had too many clothes/bags/shoes and wished to simplify my wardrobe and my life last year, which is how I joined YLF. I still shop quite a bit more than a regular person, have a large wardrobe, but Atleast I buy more sensibly now.

I regret my over-spending today. Not because I wasted money, but because I bought things that were all wrong for me and have given away bags and bags of new things with their tags intact in the last year.

I am determined to overcome this character flaw. Indulgence is good. But over-indulgence, when done repeatedly, soon become a challenge in itself. These days I don't buy things blindly - I evaluate them carefully before I pay. I think how that piece works in my wardrobe, how often will I wear it, where I will wear it and how valuable a piece it would be for my style. It may sound absurd to some, but the only successful way I can keep the numbers down these days is to buy one really expensive piece than to buy 4 more 'affordable' pieces.

Anonymous

When I was growing up, we were neither well off nor particularly poor either, so just kind of middle ground really. I just have one brother and no sisters.

Mum was always a seamstress and I grew up sitting watching her make all kinds of lovely clothes and when old enough I would stand and hand out pins to her as she did fittings for her clients. Mum also made all her own clothes and I'd go with her when buying fabrics. I was sewing doll clothes as soon as I could hold a needle and had my first sewing machine at an early age, making my first clothes from a young age with mum's guidance. I've always had a penchant for nice fabrics and always made a lot of my own stuff..and always loving Vogue patterns. I had a few years of not sewing so much and losing my way a bit, but got back into it just before joining YLF and that's when I started to make nearly all of my clothes with a firm eye on current and more trendy items.

Jules

Veteran

I can more clearly see how shopping with my mother has influenced how I shop with my daughter. My mother tended to try to persuade me into things I wasn't 100% crazy about. I made the same mistake with my daughter a couple of times, but those items went unworn. So now I work hard to avoid pressuring her overtly or subtly - we've discussed it and she knows she can frankly tell me when something's just not her thing. At the same time, at age 10 she trusts me enough (for now) to listen to my suggestions - for example, the oversized tee she thinks is too big and shapeless with jeans *might* look better with those cute patterned leggings, do you want to go back to the dressing room and try? Yes, we have a winner and subsequent first-day-of-school outfit with the metallic Birk-a-like sandals

columbine(erin)

Veteran

I've been fascinated by this thread. I grew up in the 80's and 90's in a rural area as the oldest of 8 kids. My mom doesn't drive and my dad would be at his construction job all day. There were hand me downs from church and two home made dresses sent by my grandma a year. There was very little shopping as I grew up. In college I became acutely aware of my shabby clothes but couldn't afford anything but a few Goodwill trips a year. Now I'm married and still acutely budget conscious, but my husband prefers higher quality things and likes to see me dressed well. I found I made too many mistakes when thrift shopping and prefer to make better quality and less purchases now. I'm also a mom now and had a child too ill to take shopping for several years (he's doing fabulously now) so I mainly shop online.

AviaMariah

Veteran

plonkee - my experience was very similar to yours. We did not have a lot of disposable income growing up and on top of that, my mom hated (still does) to shop. So I almost never had new clothes. They were occasionally from a second hand store but mostly hand me downs from family and friends. I was always very small so most clothes that I wore were too big. Thankfully I grew up in the 80's when the over-sized look was in! An an adult I just have no desire to second hand shop or to bargain hunt. I have reluctantly admitted in the last few years that I don't LOVE to shop so I want my experience to be quick and pain free. On top of that I am very picky about clothing fitting me correctly. So I tend to shop regularly at the same stores. If I never had to look outside of Norstroms I'd be happy. I did go through many years when I felt guilty if I paid full price or "too much" for an items so I had closets full of cheap items that I didn't love. I seem to have gotten over that with help from YLF, maybe a little too well! I now don't have a problem spending a little more for nice items and now I'm just trying to figure out how large of a wardrobe I really need. We won't even talk about my spending habits on my little girl's clothes! Yikes, there's a lot of fun stuff to pick from!! (while in store shopping wears me out quickly I find that on line shopping is quite fun and relaxing which can cause me a lot of trouble!!)

Anonymous

Fascinating stories! I'm loving this thread.

I was the eldest of 5 girls in a middle-class household. We all wore Catholic school uniforms and rough-and-tumble tomboy clothes after school, with ladylike dresses and petticoats for church (sometimes with hats and gloves!) All the moms in our neighborhood got together and did clothing swaps for their kids, and we happily wore hand-me-downs while climbing trees and tearing around on our bicycles. We were hell-raisers for sure. The only clothing piece I remember from my childhood is a red plaid kilt that I adored, and a pair of red ruffled underpants that my godmother sent me for my birthday. I was in awe of them, and kept them wrapped in tissue paper because they were too pretty to wear! Then adolescence hit and I went clothes-crazy, learning to sew and staying up all night running that old sewing machine into the ground. Then I got my driver's license and forgot about sewing since I could hit the mall with my friends now. Shopping was more a social opportunity and an excuse to get out of the house, but I did enjoy coming home with something special, as my baby-sitting funds allowed. So fun to remember these things!

rabbit

Veteran

Love reading these kinds of threads. One of the things that interests me is how very similar experiences with shopping growing up can lead to very different preferences as adult (whether one who grew up thrifting finds it enjoyable or off-putting later on, for example).

My parents were professors who became community organizers and activists in the early 70's. So growing up in the 80's we were continually told 'we're poor' as the reason we didn't eat out or buy anything full-price, but there was also an element of pride with it, and an unstated understanding that wealth (and the luxury good markers of wealth) was considered a bit morally suspicious and and perhaps associated with corporate greed and oppressing the working class.

So I remember getting sneakers, gym clothes, and one pair of leather boots a year or so new, and pretty much everything else was thrifted. Thrifting was a really enjoyable bonding experience for me, my sister and mother, a chance to play with fashion and dress-up without price tags bringing guilt into it, and as we developed personal styles in high school (luckily I was into boho then), a way to flesh them out and learn over time to seek out what worked best. I think we also learned how to visually parse a lot of information quickly and compare like to like items in seconds.

There was a huge thrift sale in the convention center put on by the Junior League every year, and that was the centerpiece of our wardrobe building. We would queue up with family and friends before it opened, and we each had wish lists and an attack plan for which section we would head to first as soon as the doors opened and people rushed in. It was chaos and mayhem and I loved it. The group dressing rooms were full of laughter and strangers giving each other feedback (because there was only one mirror), and sharing finds with each other 'this doesn't fit me, but would look cute on you'... that kind of thing.

The way it effects how I shop now? I'm still reluctant to pay full price for something that isn't unique or exceptional in some way. For me eating out, and travelling, and staying in interesting non-chain hotels are treats and indulgences that I enjoy and didn't have as a kid and teenager. Going shopping (at thrift or off-price usually) is still a treat, it doesn't tend to matter whether I bring something home or not. The time I spend hunting though is something I struggle with a lot, and try to curb.

I do have a bit of an allergic reaction to hoarding (my mother and sister have this tendency). I am unwilling to have any clothes I don't wear, need to be fixed to wear, are in the laundry basket for more than a day, or that go over allotted space. I also can't stand to be in a messy or cluttered home environment (even though it doesn't bother me shopping at all, funnily enough).

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Money was tight in my family when my brother and I were little, and my mom is definitely someone who enjoys the hunt - not sure which was the chicken and which was the egg there, but she still is a bargain shopper even though she doesn't have to be quite so frugal these days. So I grew up with a lot of trips to off brand stores; I spent many hours as a kid bored stiff in Burlington Coat Factory! We didn't use the thrift store, as we lived in a rural area and there was only one, and at least then, thrift stores were meant for the 'real' poor, i.e. people who didn't have jobs or had suffered some tragedy, and it was thought a bit rude to keep those resources for yourself if you didn't absolutely have to to get by.

When I got out on my own I did a lot of thrifting in college (isn't that what everyone does in collage?) and eventually got interested in sewing, even though I'd hated the clothes my mom had made me when I was little (in elementary school it was all about brand names and I just wanted to fit in). The internet appeared and ecommerce developed, and it became much easier to stick with a niche style if you wanted to.

In college I was a practical goth; in my later 20s it was all about trends and volume acquisition of stuff, once I got a proper job. My early 30s were about figuring out fit and proportion and what worked on my figure, and my late 30s have been about trying to reconcile my own preferences and aesthetics with participating in trends and looking current even at my size.

I've ping ponged between being a price driven shopper (what I learned from my childhood) and throwing caution to the wind and going with my gut, which hasn't always worked out either. I guess I've been trying to figure out how to do both, to stay within my budget but still not be so regimented all the time.

SecretSquirrel

(website)

I have really enjoyed reading this thread. I feel a lot like Rabbit, in terms of not wanting too many clothes taking up too much space, and I also have an aversion to hoarding, which several of my family members always tended to. My Mum has always had a great bohemian style, different to me - but always encouraged me to wear what I want which was usually a bit tomboyish. I am remembering putting together an outfit for a high school disco - stacked wooden heels loaned from my stylish grandma, a Levi's shirt, (knotted!) and my brother's white judo trousers. I suppose I asked if I could borrow them?!

I always liked clothes - and was happiest when I was 'set' aka I had enough things to form a capsule with! I am the same now. So a day when I was around 7, maybe younger, was an extremely happy one when I was was bought a jumper with Autumn leaves on, and two pairs of cord trousers in colours matching the leaves. *So happy*. Also being the youngest of several cousins I often got hand-me-downs, which I loved. I still like rummaging racks now, but even better, I like a surprise package! I really enjoy reading those StitchFix reviews, for example, and seeing what the bloggers 'got' even though in reality I know I would likely not like a lot of the clothes, given my extreme pickiness.

I also remember poring over Just Seventeen magazines for ideas, replicating the outfits from the one shop a long bus ride away - Topshop - or the charity shops. I remain very proud of a (thrifter) bargain, even though a lot of my wardrobe is new nowadays, with the odd vintage or secondhand thing.

Aziraphale

Veteran

This is really a fascinating thread. One thing that stands out to me is the number of you who are from what seem like gigantic families to me :-). I grew up in a middle-class neighbourhood in one of the nicer suburbs of metro Vancouver, and I could count on one hand the number of families I knew who had more than two kids. My parents were friends with two four-child families (neither of whom lived in Vancouver), and I remember my mind being boggled when we visited them. Four kids! How did they possibly manage! It still makes me laugh when I look back, that my worldview was so limited.

But the fact remains that it is still very rare to see a family with more than three children in my city. Most seem to have two. The odd family that has more than three is usually a blended one -- both parents were divorced and brought children to the new marriage. In the 70s and 80s, the reason for the tiny family sizes might have been that many of our mothers finally could -- and did -- work outside the home. Certainly the mother's education level plays a role -- women with post-secondary training tend to start families later, and have fewer children. But for this generation, I suspect that a contributing reason for the overwhelming number of small one- and two-child families is that it's prohibitively expensive to raise kids here. I think we now top the charts for the worst real estate market in Canada.

MsMaven

Veteran

I grew up the middle of three sisters so there were many hand-me-downs. My parents graduated from high school into the depression and had a young family when WW II broke out. They were engaged for 7 years; both had heavy responsibilities for parents and siblings at home.

My mother and her mother were very fashion conscious and dressed very carefully according to the ladylike standards, proper hat, gloves and tasteful jewelry. My Mom made most of her clothes and ours as well. Usually once a year for birthdays we got one store-bought item for a gift. In my era it was a pleated Pendleton type skirt or a Jantzen sweater. These were must-haves in junior high and classmates had no shame in pulling out the label on the back to see if your sweater was authentic or not.

Most of my friends mother sewed their clothes as well, and I learned to sew at a young age. I also got hand-me-downs from two aunts, both career women. One aunt was very skinny and glamorous, and shopped at the best store in town. I had some beautiful items in my closet that I never wore because they were too sophisticated for a teenager. I wish I'd kept them. My Mom would cut down and make over the other aunt's dresses.

The problem with bargain hunting and wearing other people's rejects is that a girl doesn't learn anything about her own style and what flatters her body.

I sewed my own clothes for many years. My parents were bargain shoppers and I still have that training, although now I look for bargains and sales at better stores.

I've been thinking about this lately, how I still feel a ping of joy when I find something great on sale, and I do spend a lot of time going through the pages of Last Call. While I do buy items at full price, these days I am wary of doing so because the quality often doesn't make it worth it. A $500 jacket with cheap buttons and threads hanging? Sewing taught me a lot about clothing construction and fabric.

I do feel guilty when I've made a mistake and give up on an item. It's not the money, it's that I feel I am encouraging retailers to put out cheap stuff that will soon end up in the landfills.

deb

Veteran

I was the oldest of 3 and the only female. My mom made most of my clothes and when I got to be about 10, my dad told me I could have all the shoes I wanted if I made my own clothes. We had a Leed's store that carried narrow sizes and twice a year they had a $1 and $2 sale on the older stock. Most of the sale items were narrows so Mom and I had a wonderful time and I could get 10 pair of shoes for under $20 that actually fit my feet. Spending so much time in fabric stores definitely spurred my desire to design and to this day, even though I am no longer able to sew, I can spend a whole day in a store like Britex in San Francisco and not buy a thing. It is funny, I hated shopping as a kid and still do. We had to buy a lot with our own money and mom did not drive so dad would take me to the store to get whatever I felt I 'needed' but got very frustrated with me because if I could not fine it at the amount I has set in my head, I would come home empty handed. I have not thought about that in a long time.

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