You have got to help me with my hair (please)! - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

You have got to help me with my hair (please)!

Scarlet

Veteran

I had a hair cut a week ago with the same lady I have been going to for 2 years, always satisfied. I am not sure what she did this time but I cannot figure out what to do with it. The photos below are me trying on clothes fresh from the salon. She put some mousse in and essentially air-dried it under the massive diffuse hair-drying stand. I am not sure about this style for myself, but it was at least presentable. Somehow when I do my hair myself it is just completely wild AND with permanent hat head. In a really bad way. I don't have any mousse, but I have tried every other hair product I have, and it looks terrible. I am ashamed to be seen with this hair. Sorry no pictures. Does anyone have some advice? I think the problem is that the top layers are just too short, but I have got to live this down until it grows.

Maya very helpfully posted her hair regime because she has a similar cut, but frankly the amount of product scared me. However, maybe I need to get over it, thoughts? I just started my new job this week and the hair is sapping my self confidence. Silly and vain I know, but there we are.

This post has 5 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

General

41 replies

Latest reply was from Scarlet

Mo

(website)

Veteran

If it's wild/frizzy I would think a leave-in detangler and some anti frizz serum would be a good first step. I haven't used mousse in 20 years so I don't know how that would work out.

Scarlet

Veteran

The worst thing is the willful hat-head. It's horrible. Even hubby doesn't try to tell me it looks fine.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Oh, I know exactly what you mean Scarlet as I had this done to my hair a few years back. The only consolation I can offer is that the top layers grew very quickly and settled with the rest of the hair. At that time I did not use any product so have no tips there.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Perhaps leaving it to air dry on it's own, after you've put in your product, will help until the shorter layers grow out and lay down. I know my curls get out of whack when I keep messing with them.

sorry you got a cut you didn't like

AJ

Veteran

Well, if you want volume, then mousse would be good. I have the opposite problem, I have too much volume, so I use thick products that will weigh my hair down.

Louise

Veteran

My blonde streaks get very dry and frizzy. I've taken to using a spray on leave in conditioner which seems to be moisturising and weighing down my frizzy bits x

Scarlet

Veteran

I think maybe I have to abandon wavy/curly and do my best to blow-dry it straight to conquer the hat head. I tried this on the weekend though, and it still looked odd. It's not the frizz that is so much the trouble as the wire-like curling up up up into the air.

AJ

Veteran

Maybe just blow dry the roots straight but leave a bit of the ends wavy?

Scarlet

Veteran

What kind of a brush would you use in that case?

AJ

Veteran

http://www.hair-styles-secrets.....0brush.htm

Taylor or Renata would be better able to answer this question. I'm guessing the vent brush or a medium sized round brush.

Scarlet

Veteran

I guess what I really want is waves/curls, but no violent, self-perpetuating hat head. You know, kind of like this gorgeous model here. Maybe I just need to blow-dry the top out-of-control layer. Thanks for helping me work through this.

ETA: I just don't get what the heck my hairdresser did that I avoided the hat head without having to shape with a blowdryer. Maybe mousse is really the answer??? Does anyone even use mousse anymore?

This post has 2 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

taylor

Veteran

Oh, Scarlet I am so sad you are unhappy with your hair!

Rest assured you are as lovey as ever! Looks like she too too much bulk and length from the top portion resulting in the dreaded hat head.

Do you own a flat iron? Perhaps blow dry around your face and bangs,... bend over and finger dry the rest, DO NOT add mousse...this adds volume, your hair is quite thick and full enough .... Then take a look at it and see if you need to :
flat iron anywhere
or
add a curling iron any where
or
just add a bit of spray and finish.

I find that if the hair that frames your face and the parameters look like YOU and are easy to manage ...the rest will be OK in the next couple of weeks.

Sorry I can be more specific but Not seeing, touching, working with your hair REALLY limits any advice that I can give to truly correct this for you because I really want to fix this for you!!.. I hear your pain...and you are still lovely!

Scarlet

Veteran

Taylor, thanks for chiming in, you are such a sweetie. While you were commenting I was just away trying my hand with a flat iron, but the hat-head wave could not be conquered. Probably if I blow-dry it first I will have more luck. Also I suspect my flat iron is not a very good one. I used to have a great one that I blew out by using a bad converter and then I bought a cheap one to replace it. Do you recommend a round brush or a paddle brush in this case? I don't own a curling iron, although I see it might actually be more useful in this case to change the direction of the hat wings. Sigh. well I will try again tomorrow. I understand how important it is to interact with the hair. I am really a tactile person in all things anyway. FWIW my hair is very thick (the individual hairs) and very dense (lots of it). Healthy but on the dry side.

HelloKitty

Hi Scarlet, I am a newbie here but wanted to chime in just in case my advice helps.

I have naturally wavy hair which I normally straighten, but I do use mousse occasionally (when I want to wear it wavy). I use John Frieda Frizz Ease mousse, and would highly recommend it. It's not pricey - about $5-6/bottle. So if you want to try out the mousse, that would be a good one to try.

My other piece of advice is to try straightening it all the way so that all the layers lay nice and smooth. I do this in two steps (pin the top section up, blow dry and flatten it with flat iron, then release the top section and do the same thing). I have a Cortex flat iron which is fantastic, comparable to the Chi but MUCH cheaper (got mine for $40 at Winners, which is like Marshallas/TJ Maxx). Of course remember to use some product if you are going to put so much heat on your hair. Good luck!

Hope that helps?

HelloKitty

Oh yes and I use a round brush to dry it. And my hair is similar in texture to yours (thick and dense).

jen321

Hey I wanted to let you know, I have pretty shorts layers in my hair. Mine looks really good when I use a wide curling iron and curl it a bit. It might be worth buying a curing iron or mousse to try if you are really unhappy with it. I use curing mousse and scrunch my hair when I want a nice wave. I hope you fine something that helps!

Scarlet

Veteran

Thanks, Kitty! I guess I have to put more work into the problem. All summer I could let my hair just air dry and it looked okay

Scarlet

Veteran

Thanks Jen, I am contemplating a curling iron. All this time I never thought of my hair as curly...

Marley

Veteran

Scarlet - why don't you just call your hairdresser and tell her what the problem is - my hairdresser has always had me come back in (when I didn't like my cut) and she has worked with me either on fixing it - or by showing me how to style it!

Scarlet

Veteran

Yes, Marley, you have a point. Even if I wish she hadn't taken so much off from the top, at least she managed to style it in a way that was not embarrassing.

Carole

Veteran

I'm no help here, but the hair style in the photos looks lovely. My hair is stick straight, no waves for me so I don't have any ideas for you. We can all relate to having the occassional bad hair cut, hopefully in a few weeks you will love it.

Steph

Veteran

Scarlet, I totally understand how important hair can be, and I feel similarly unconfident when I don't like my hair. So I don't think that's silly at all.

I just wanted to chime in to second what Kitty said. I have naturally wavy/curly hair that can be frizzy, and when I want to straighten it, I separate it into sections, blow each section straight and then use the flat iron on each section before proceeding to the next one. (I actually don't do this all the time, but if I want it really flat, I do). I section the hair so the first section is at the nape of my neck, the next section is the layer above that, the third section is the top of my head, and the last section is the very front pieces. I think if you go that route, it should lie flat. Your hair is shorter and more layered than mine, so you might be okay with three sections. Of course, this means you'll have to be wearing your hair straight rather than curly, but the good thing is that it should grow out pretty quickly, since the issue is that she put in too many short layers.

I also second Marley's advice that you should have the stylist show you what she's doing so you can copy her.

Lots and lots of luck. (And honestly, it doesn't look horrible, but I know that doesn't help, since all that really matters is how you feel about it.)

Aida

Veteran

I like the cut (I've been thinking about getting a similar one next time I get mine done). Your best bet is to ask your stylist, as others have suggested. My hair is curly but fine and thin, and I usually let mine air dry because I'm lazy and my hair is also hard to tame.

But when it has short layers like that and I HAVE to do some work, I'll use my diffuser and blow dry the roots with some texture spray and then let the ends air dry (usually about 10 min worth of blow dryer). Or to straighten, use a round brush with the blow dryer in 2-3" sections to show off the layers.

If you don't wash your hair daily, on non-wash days if you put in some light product (I use mousse because I need the volume) and then use a curling iron with large chunks of hair while twisting away from the face you can get some beachy looking curls/waves. This gal has a good tutorial on this look: http://bjonesstyle.wordpress.c.....each-hair/

HelloKitty

You're most welcome, Scarlet! I know what a bummer it can be if your hair doesn't feel right - I never feel fab with a bad hair day! Good luck and post new pics when you get it sorted out

Barbara

Veteran

Scarlet, I am so sorry that you are traumatized by your haircut! I agree with Marley. Ask your stylist what products and techniques she used. You should be able to duplicate it without so much stress. Believe me, it's not as bad as you think!

Lisa

Veteran

Lots of advice here already, I think you look fine. But if you are not happy with it, there's always the ol' clips until the hair grows. When my top layers get at an odd length I keep them clipped, so my hair is half up/half down until I get a trim or it grows past the awkward stage.

Maya

Veteran

Ohh, yes, since we are hair twins I think my opinion should get extra weight

Mine is actually a skosh looser than yours, but still similar. Fraternal twins perhaps.

Anyway, the amount of product scared me too. Remember it was just 4 months ago that I had straight hair. Most days I never used ANY product!

Anyway, my stylist showed me the amounts of product she was using when teaching me what to do, and it just looked like too much to me, so for the first few days I used a lot less. And my hair looked really bad. It just looked stringy and sad. So, thinking I was still using too much, I used even less, and it still didn't look good. In fact it looked worse. I tried taking all kinds of shortcuts, and nothing worked.

Then finally I decided to just do it as she suggested, and since then everything has been peachy.

After I finish working the product through, I cup and scrunch the wave into my hair until it dries completely, then tussle out the roots and finish off with a lightweight spray. The cup + scrunch motion helps encourage the wave into the ends, and the tussle-age gets rid of the hat hair effect. Since I effectively killed my wave a bit by straightening my hair for so long, it takes me more effort than it will probably take you. I think getting the roots fluffed out will be key for you. Your hair is mercifully thicker and fuller than mine so you don't need to worry about the ends--just the very top.

What I like is that if my hair starts to get droopy, I can quickly re-scrunch it in place. The product allows me to do that, and is amazingly not sticky or heavy...but the downside is that it's hard to find. If I ever left the vicinity of NYC, I'd have to order it online.

FWIW I admire your hair very much. It's so nice and evenly wavy. Mine waves in some places but not others...and it's always a tossup where it will wave each day...sigh.

Sparky

Veteran

All I can say is that I think you are as pretty as ever, Scarlet, even with a bit of hat-head. And give you my sympathy. I vividly recall a couple times when I had too many layers cut into my hair, and I cried buckets both times. You've gotten lots of great advice already ~ I second the idea of following up with the person who cut it. First, she can help you figure out how to style it, and second, so she is aware it didn't come out the way you expected and will be careful to avoid doing the same next time.

Scarlet

Veteran

HAT HEAD CONQUERED: This morning I followed Taylor's instructions and it solved the hat head issue. There is still a massacre of overly-short hairs on the top of my head that catch the light, but that is small potatoes at this point. Thanks again everyone for the kind input. It really saved the day for me.

Maya, as my hair twin I am listening to you with a keen ear! I hope over the weekend I can explore what kind of products are available to me here. I could really use 20 extra minutes of sleep instead of bonding time with my hairdryer.

P.S. because it apparently didn't come across right, the photos I posted are when my hairdresser did my hair and it looked okay. It's when I tried to do it myself that it looked appalling.

12