You armor / secure making clothes - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

You armor / secure making clothes

Liesbeth

Veteran

The role of clothing as armor has come up here a few times since I signed up, I noticed. I was recently triggered by the concept of ‘secure
making clothes’ in the book ’10 steps to fashion freedom’ by Malcolm Levene (which I’m currently working my way through by recommendation of one of the fabbers whose name I don’t recall). The author says secure making clothes are clothes that feel very YOU and project your personal image even on days when you are not at your best. They are NOT aspirational (like: wearing something bright as a pick me up). They are also NOT reflective of your state of mind (like wearing dark colors when you are down). What remains is not entirely
clear to me yet :), but that may just mean I don’t have enough secure
making clothes right now.

I hope I paraphrased the authors correctly and I made sense. Because I wanted to ask: do any of you have ‘secure making clothes’? Do you have one (or several) staple(s) that make you feel comfortable and most like yourself, yet armed to face whatever comes your way that day (professionally or otherwise)? I’m asking because I love hearing these personal stories even if they come from people with very different backgrounds, so not necessarily for my own style inspiration

Dressing

33 replies

Latest reply was from Suz

RobinF

Veteran

Interesting question. Being here on YLF has made me think about things in ways I never had before. I do have some black moto boots that I bought on a whim and wasn't sure I would wear and have totally loved having. I think they would qualify for me as secure-making. I just feel good and "me" in them.

Aquamarine

Veteran

Very interesting. I can flip this on its head and say there are some clothes/outfits that make me less secure than others. They might be tighter/excessively form-fitting or a very bright color...I feel less confident in them and feel like they draw attention to me, a classic introvert. So the opposite outfits, more covered up, more subdued would be my “secure” clothes, and probably why I like cold-weather dressing and layers the best. Likely this comes from having developed very young, and still a 32G, which has always made me uncomfortable. Clearly, I have unresolved issues

rachylou

Veteran

I have to think about this. Clothes that are ‘very me’ - I don’t think they provide a lot of security or empowerment. They’re a bit risky. Not risqué, but risky. They invite attention.

Anonymous

There are all kinds of paradigms and ways of thinking about clothing.
“Clothing as armour”, “clothing as secure making clothing” don’t resonate with me at all.

The one and only way clothes service me is to make me Look good. And looking good makes me feel good. What looks good? It is a combination of pleasing proportions, pleasing colour combinations, some novelty (something that I just bought), and situational-appropriateness (blending in just enough).

Things that don’t feel “me”, that don’t feel “secure”, are ones that fail in colour, proportion, novelty or blending in enough.

I really, really don’t understand why people need “armour” in their clothes. I can understand creating armour around yourself (hiding your personality a bit) but in clothes? I don’t get it. People I think must ascribe a lot more meaning to clothes than I do.

Bijou

Veteran

I work in a corporate environment and see the value in a sharp tailored suit for certain occasions. It is not really armour, but just a uniform to wear when I want to be taken seriously as a professional. I once had to appear in Court as an expert witness and wore this "uniform". It helped me not to have to really think about what I was wearing or whether my appearance was distracting or taking away my credibility.

Anonymous

I need to think about this and organize my thoughts before replying.

Anonymous

Sure. I have a few special things that I can put on and know that they look good and I don't have to worry about fussing and pulling and adjusting and wondering if I look ok. And I mean more than the rest of my clothes do on any given day. These pieces cross over from dressy-casual to professional and even cross seasons. If I feel really unsure about my hair, my weight , whatever it is, these clothes mitigate those frustrations. ( Black leather moto , black silk EF layered and assymetric long tank, 2 black Smythe linen blazers. )

Liesbeth

Veteran

RobinF: it’s great that one pair of boots, bought on a whim no less, can have that effect!

Aquamarine: don’t we all - if you feel confident in most of your clothes I say well done.

rachylou: what would you wear then if you don’t want to invite attention but still feel good?

smittie: I know that when I’m feeling vulnerable for whatever reason, personal or professional, this can easily be exacerbated by my outfit, even if it's an outfit that suits me fine on other days. And I know that I used to have outfits that I was completely satisfied with – I felt at home in them and knew they were appropriate; the kind of outfit you can put on and then forget about. Not so much these days. I have thought about how to change that, and it may be just by applying the ‘rules’ that you state: look for pleasing proportions and color combinations and situational-appropriateness. That last part being quite challenging in an office environment where there is hardly any dress code, written or even implied. Also I would add: with special attention to fabric and fit (how else will I be comfortable).

Bijou: exactly, and I see how a good suit would work for many people in this way.

lisaP: those sound nice; I suspect black is important to many people in that respect

Ginger

Veteran

I think I get a lot of what smittie is saying. This concept of armor or secure clothing doesn't really resonate. Clothes that feel like me tend to be FFBO's -Favorite Fall Back Outfits - which is a different concept. Or turn it around: If armor/secure making clothes are clothes that feel like "me," what if everything I wear feels like me? Does that make it all armor?

Or, maybe some people can isolate one thing in particular because they can wear it all the time (like Robin's boots). But what's "armor" is highly subjective depending not only on the person but on the situation. A sharp suit is the typical example I've seen in these discussions, but surely that's only applicable in formal/serious business type situations. A sharp suit at my place of business would attract attention because it would signal something unusual and serious. A sharp suit literally anywhere else in my life would be extremely out of place.

Or another example: I feel very me, very relaxed and comfortable, in short denim shorts and a tee shirt. No matter how tired or stressed I am, it's a lift to put that on. But it would definitely not be armor in the wrong weather or the wrong environment.

gryffin

Veteran

Well this is a fascinating discussion. Thank you for starting it Liesbeth! I mentioned Malcolm Levene's book on my restorative niche thread. I hope you enjoy it. Armor does resonate with me in that a great outfit makes me feel invincible. I feel so totally comfortable I can actually forget what I am wearing, I could meet anyone, do anything, go anywhere and feel great. It's clothing that makes me feel like me. So yes, I love a great suit. Yes, I wear my suit out and to social events. At work I wear a blazer every single day. I absolutely feel best in a blazer even for casual wear, whether over a tunic and leggings, dress, dress pants, or jeans. I do have these great booties by EF the coax. If anyone saw "Strictly Ballroom" they are similar to the boots they wore for paso doble. Oh man, I could climb mountains in those boots, conquer kingdoms - so uber comfy, edgy, stylish. When I need the power of awesome footwear it's the coax booties. To me armor is a synonym for confidence and I can't feel confident if I am not comfortable both physically and emotionally. Once I decided "okay" was not good enough in clothing and that I had to love every piece and it had to love me, my wardrobe became my happy place. So yes a great outfit is my armor for feeling great and taking on the world. It makes the good better, and the bad no quite as bad, when you feel great in what you have on. That's my two cents FWIW.

Jules

Veteran

I absolutely feel that a good outfit, combined with minimal makeup and hairstyle, function as armour for me. Armour is even the exact word I would use. Most recently, when I had to meet a new boss for the first time while under quite a bit of work duress. The armour allows me to walk into a situation with the certain minimum confidence of looking like I have it together, especially when I actually don’t. The next time I spoke to my boss it was to tell him I would be taking a stress leave. He had no idea when we met, which was a necessary front for me to get through that day long initial team meeting without breaking down. Preparing myself physically was a large part of how I prepared mentally. Facing myself in the mirror and all that.
I’m someone who didn’t always pay a lot of attention to good grooming though. I can see that if you already do that by default, it might not resonate as ‘armour’.

Helena

Veteran

This is so interesting. I find the idea of clothing as 'armour' hard to relate to, because this makes me feel like I'd be going into battle, with the people around me the potential 'enemy'. This is not something I experience these days, although back in my corporate days, I definitely felt the need for armour at times, which probably would have taken the form of a black suit and white button up.

I DO relate to the idea of secure-making clothing though. It reminds me of something Angie said on a thread of mine some time ago, basically to the effect of, if I was really questioning myself in my clothes, then I probably hadn't quite hit on my true style yet (I'm paraphrasing, but that was the idea). For example, if I am in a room full of trendy-clothed people wearing my classic, simple pieces, I feel completely at ease with that ... because those clothes are authentically 'me' and so I feel quite secure in them.

Anyways, that's what these makes me think of ... fwiw!

Anonymous

Thanks Gryffin for mentioning your thread- My head hurt and I thought my brain was going to explode just trying to figure out what post that was connected to. Apparently the brain cells are exiting at a fast pace...LOL.
I don't think of it as armor as much as I have a formula (or signature look) that is a "go to" when I am not fully sure of the situation I am facing.
The formula- outfit- is middle of the road so that I can be prepared for a situation where most folks are dressed up yet it can fit in well if I show up and the majority in attendance are dressed down. I have been known to have a different scarf and or piece of jewelry in my purse so that I can "change it up" quickly in one trip to the wash room. It might be a little thing but it can make a big difference in emotional comfort or in my self confidence in a situation with people I do not know.
I have no problem being the "best dressed" in the room (casual or otherwise) so long as I am NOT OVER dressed for the occasion (that happened once and I was uncomfortable with the stares all night as well as annoyed at the person who advised me of the dress code - started out as a dress up party when I was one of the first invitees but somehow got changed to an informal picnic type function- as later invitees wanted casual..... she never mentioned the change-aarrgghh)....talk about unresolved issues Aquamarine-lol !

rachylou

Veteran

Hmm. I’d wear white top, black bottoms, no nonsense black shoes. Probably my ultimate power/security outfit would be (note, not a suit) white short sleeve sweater twinset, black slacks, and lace-up heeled oxfords (note, I no longer have such an outfit in my wardrobe). 100% plain solid weave.

Lol. I’d dress like a nun. Clear and severe.

amiable

Veteran

For me, perfect blue jeans are secure-making. I feel good in them, I know I look good in them, and I wear them almost all the time because of that.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I never think of my clothes in terms of "armor" or "secure making." One makes me think of chainmail and the other of the soft clothes I wear when I'm sick. I'm an emotional dresser, and I choose things that make me feel like myself in my best possible way, but I don't ascribe that much power to them when it comes to my emotional state, which may seem weird, considering how much of a "mood" dresser I am.

But I do definitely have outfits and items that help me feel my best -- more confident or more attractive. But then, I am self-employed and an artist, so I don't exactly need the "power suit" feeling.

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

Interesting concept. If I understand right, you’re talking about clothes that almost “do the work for you” and project/protect your personality when you are too tired or distracted to do it yourself. I’m not sure if I have clothes that do this. But I would say that my tattoos and my funky haircut do this—they sorta indicate my personality without me having to bother to “turn it on” if you know what I mean. I like this, because I’m a huge introvert and I really do have to purposely turn “on” if I want to engage with others. It’s a big effort and it’s nice to be able to fallback on my supporting acts sometimes.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Clothing used to be my armor seriously. I think it started when I joined the Army at 18. It made me feel proud and powerful. When I left the Army at 29 I was lost in many ways and felt adrift. I found a uniform sort to speak for work but felt vulnerable in regular clothing because I did not know who I was outside of the army or it's clothing. It was my life. then I was adrift for a long time. I accidentally stumbled upon YLF years ago as a lurker and finally began to blossom style and clothing wise. My style evolved with my personality. Clothing was still my armor. Now at 43 with a toddler. I don't know when it happened but it was this past year. I evolved to where I don't need my clothing to speak or justify who I am. I feel empowered just by breathing existing living my life for my daughter and myself. I feel like I am my own armor.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I dressed for cozy and staying home this morning and then realized I needed to leave the house so I added a sweater to dress up my outfit. I felt perfectly appropriate but not my best. I aspire to a wardrobe where I love each item but being clothed is a necessity. But my wardrobe is trending up.

I have a dilemma. I love my cozy clothes but don’t think they project the best version of me.

I don’t usually need armor but I add a blazer and maybe a skirt or dressier trousers when I need to dress for “important’ people. But I don’t necessarily feel like me, so I need to come up with a better option.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I don't think of my outfit as armour either. I was nodding along with Smittie and Ginger. I have an incredible appreciation for the visual and for art. We are walking works of art. When we put together our look, we are creating a work of art - daily. And expressing our sartorial choices in the best ways that we can.

I am also very emotional. The feeling an outfit gives me is important too. I feel happier when I wear certain colours and silhouettes. I feel attractive when I do my hair and make-up, and wear outfits that are pleasing to my eye. This increases my confidence level and boosts my ego - which is a good thing. It creates feelings of satisfaction and calm, which make me a better person to myself and to others.

Practically, we also wear an outfit to stay warm, cool, comfortable and modest.

LaPed

Veteran

I'm another who doesn't really connect with the idea of clothes-as-armour. I'm not a very combative person, I guess. Not a "guarded" person either; I (apparently) tend to present as very open/engaging/engaged with the world.

Also, I don't expect my clothes to make me feel confident or strong, but to express my inherent confidence and strength. An extension of self, rather than a modifier of self. I do like looking appropriate -- neither under-dressed or over-dressed. Otherwise, it is hard for me to stop thinking about what I'm wearing, and I always strive for outfits that become imperceptible (to me) once they're on. If clothes are fussy or stressful in any way, out they go. Like Angie and Smittie, aesthetics matter a lot to me, always have -- but I've never been one to privilege aesthetics over comfort/wearability.

unfrumped

Veteran

I think of it more as tried and true and happy/ best— NOT boring, but not experimenting. Whereas to grow or change, I have to sometimes try wearing something I might be a little unsure of and might re- evaluate at day’s end, so might wear that on certain days or certain places, occasions that feel less important. If might turn out great and roll to category #1– rinse and repeat!
Then part of my style goal is to have most of my clothes fit the first category and not be a hot mess of experiments ( this would be more of how I’m hearing smittie’s comments) , but to still be moving forward.

Style Fan

Veteran

I am probably more in the camp of Smittie, Angie and La Ped. Aesthetics matter a lot to me. I love art and I love design. I am a very visual person. I also like to be comfortable. If I am not feeling great I reach for very comfy clothes (unless I have an important meeting and need to wear a suit). I like to look good and I like to have interesting clothes. Armor isn't my aim when I get dressed.

Liesbeth

Veteran

t’s interesting how there are easily as many people who don’t connect to these ideas at all, as those who do. I wanted to reply to everyone but it’s gotten too crowded lol. So I’m just gonna chime in here and there:

Clothes for the sake of clothes, as art, etc.: this approach doesn’t really work for me, my more experimental silhouettes only feel right on days when I am feeling super confident and those are rare right now. Motherhood has made me more fragile, and I’ve accepted that, but I currently need clothes to also be a bit of a security blanket and to do some of the talking for me (like communicate to my boss and coworkers
that I’m still capable and ambitious even if temporarily sleep-deprived and working a bit less!).

Terms like middle of the road, fall back outfits, formulas etc. may be useful practically and from day to day, but I feel they don’t do justice to the power of individual items to cushion you emotionally. A favorite shirt, soft from wear, a pair of shoes that have molded to the shape of your feet perfectly and that give you just that bit of extra height … I feel that most of my recent purchases don’t even have the potential to become these kind of wardrobe staples. Reading YLF I think I should focus on
defining my current essentials and then try to make those items (when making new purchases) ‘secure making clothes’.

I AM a guarded person and have experienced many times in life how people’s perception of me did not stroke at all with reality, so I put a lot of thought (maybe too much) into my image and how clothes can work with or against me. The book by Levene has taught me to look inward though, and to try and translate my existing personal assets (instead of
my aspirations) into my sartorial choices. So yes, Gryffin, I’m enjoying it,
and thanks for introducing me to it!

cindysmith

Veteran

My wardrobe is my armor in that I will wear something that sort of outwardly reflects my inner state.

If I'm feeling insecure or like I want to be left alone, I will wear something harder, more rough around the edges or even dystopian and pair it with boots. I aim for a really rough vibe in the hopes that people will stay away.

If I'm feeling leisurely, I'll wear something softer, more draped, with a softer or more delicate shoe. It kind of helps me feel apart from all the dirt involved in my rural lifestyle.

If I have to deal with a government agency, or have any more formal occasions, I'll wear something more structured and polished. It helps mask any insecurities I feel inside, more like I BELONG (if that makes sense).

Gigi

Veteran

For me, "armor" and "secure-making clothes" are the same thing: both make me feel safe.

I would view most of my wardrobe as being "secure-making clothes." Most of what I have, I bought because it makes me feel more like me.

Anonymous

Team "secure making clothes" all the way.

The last bad wardrobe habit I dropped was choosing anything other than the secure making when dressing for unusual events. When I get distracted by how I think I should look, rather than dressing who I am, I inevitably go off the rails.

The Cat

Veteran

I have often felt that a blazer or similar type of jacket gives me some security and authority.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

When I'm going into battle I always need a blazer. Navy and red are my armor colors.

12